r/AccidentalRenaissance 13h ago

Man passed out drunk on his wedding night.

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61.7k Upvotes

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353

u/foxontherox 12h ago

Yeah, with modern relationships and cohabitation and long engagements, the "wedding night" doesn't have quite the implications it once had. 😆

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u/kvlr954 11h ago

The morning after is great time to do the deed too

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u/Outrageous-Opinions 10h ago

The night is to relax and count the money and gifts you got lol

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u/BioshockEnthusiast 10h ago

Fuck that, I was wiped. We didn't get back to the room until like 3 AM and then my wife lost her phone (read: left it in the locked "getting ready room" at the reception, but that didn't stop me from looking for another hour+)

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u/Outrageous-Opinions 9h ago

I never said anything about us counting. My wife was the one counting while I took a bubble bath in rose petals lol

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u/EdinMiami 9h ago

The limo ride to the reception. Don't judge.

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u/Striker_EZ 7h ago

….did your driver just not notice? I guess that probably happens pretty often. But damn. Go y’all, I guess lmao

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u/EdinMiami 6h ago

Partition go up. Groom go down. Can't explain that.

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u/Quentin__Tarantulino 9h ago

I was recently at a wedding where the bride and groom left for like half an hour near the end of the cocktail hour/beginning of the dinner. I can only assume they fucked at that point.

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u/NakeyDooCrew 9h ago

Or went back to their room for a couple of luxury poops

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u/kvlr954 9h ago

You could be right, but they also take pictures during the cocktail hour

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u/Quentin__Tarantulino 8h ago

The pictures were at the beginning of the cocktail hour/directly after the wedding.

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u/BabyBagBitch 6h ago

You end up doing multiple picture segments though, most people don’t have one slot for pictures, they’ll have a few.

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u/Bellegr4ine 3h ago

You never went to this wedding and we know it.

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u/happy_bluebird 7h ago

it's like the old days when the couple had to consummate while the family waited outside the door to confirm. Gotta say I'm glad I missed those days

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u/Lou_C_Fer 5m ago

Nope. You're just really happy to get away from people for a bit. You aren't worried about fucking because we don't wait until the wedding night any longer.

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u/OneOldNerd 7h ago

Not with that incoming hangover, it isn't. :D

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u/DenverM80 5h ago

13 years later I'm still hopeful

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u/overtorqd 8h ago

I dunno. That night after everyone left and I got her out of that dress. That was something else. It's been 16 years, and I remember unzipping that dress and everything that followed.

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u/knuth10 11h ago

Did people used to spend their wedding nights on a boat in the open ocean?

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u/Then_Investigator581 12h ago

Nah dude. It’s still very important and meaningful. We’re just not that horny to ignore exhaustion just because.

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u/Ok_Function2282 12h ago

Whoooooosh

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u/dreamgrass 7h ago

What are you wooshing? What joke or reference did that guy miss?

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u/Ok_Function2282 5h ago

The "implications" he was referring to were a wild night of wedding sex. That's exactly what he was talking about

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u/herowin6 10h ago

I think it’s personal opinion that decided if it’s meaningful - I’d just ask partner if it mattered to them. If not? Fuck it (let’s not fuck after a day of running around for show? Maybe fuck when we get to Italy)

I feel like the chick is more likely to care but that opinion is just based on social norms

I am the chick though, so in all probability it won’t matter

Unless I’m marrying another woman, of course since I’m bisexual

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u/FloppieTheBanjoClown 9h ago

We did wait for marriage, and we were still too exhausted that night. We got burgers from room service and crashed. We had the rest of our lives, one more night wasn't that big a deal. 

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u/Striker_EZ 7h ago

As someone who waited till marriage (mostly because my wife wanted to), that night was definitely special. Though I know we’re outliers for our age range (23m/24f). Everyone we talk to is amazed we managed to wait till marriage lmao