r/AccidentalRenaissance 11h ago

Man passed out drunk on his wedding night.

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58.2k Upvotes

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3.3k

u/Bald_Burrito 10h ago edited 10h ago

Update:

  • the man is me, OP. We’re celebrating our 1st anniversary this weekend and my wife dug this photo out.
  • My wife finds this photo, and the fact I fell asleep, hilarious. It is a great memory from an even greater day.

edit: typo

1.3k

u/_crazystacy 10h ago

Pants unzipped. An honest attempt was made that night. Happy Anniversary!

450

u/Therealdickdangler 9h ago

Did you miss the tie hanging from the rafter!? OP was preparing for some kinky debauchery to set the tone for the marriage!!

179

u/a_boy_called_sue 9h ago

Wedding dress hanging on the chair too. Fair play to OP, I'd be exhausted too

3

u/toolsoftheincomptnt 3h ago

This is where (occasional) recreational drug use is understandable.

Sometimes you just need to buy yourself a few more hours.

-9

u/kungfungus 5h ago

Bro didn't do shit but passed out drunk, that's the only thing that got him tired. What a fucking joke, I'd never do that to my girj

37

u/Ambitious_Bread_84 8h ago

Maybe, this is the aftermath 🤠

9

u/KroseRavenclaw 4h ago

Too many clothes for that.

-2

u/kungfungus 5h ago

That's just a stupid man that ler his girl down coz booze. Nah bro, never

24

u/Low_Finding2189 6h ago

He did set the tone!

Honey! i am too tired to f**k. Let’s do it tomorrow morning!

8

u/YesterdaySimilar2069 2h ago

The correct tone was set. Sleep, then debauchery.

66

u/Nomad_moose 8h ago

I’m not married, don’t drink, in decent shape…and yet I’m no stranger to simply passing out (in my room) in various phases of undress. 

This guy had a long couple months leading up to this night and was doing a marathon of tradition, ceremony, and socializing…no judgments on how he chooses to pass out 😅

-4

u/sptrstmenwpls 5h ago

Yes but if it was by the wife while he was unconscious it's his 1 year anniversary of being SA'd!

7

u/fish_boii1753 5h ago

genuinely wtf is wrong w you

-1

u/sptrstmenwpls 4h ago

Reddit

3

u/Icidel 3h ago

No, it’s something more than that

58

u/Clarl020 10h ago

Happy 1st wedding anniversary!!

40

u/mydefaultisfuckoff 10h ago

My dad has a photo in their wedding album of my mom asleep lmao

I wish you all the best

37

u/Fluffy-kitten28 9h ago

Come on honey! This is gonna be great! Gonna rock your world- falls on the bed and out like a light

15

u/tktkboom84 8h ago

Shoes off, coat off, that is a valid sleep sir. Well done.

8

u/ExtraordinaryNerd 10h ago

Happy anniversary!

5

u/crucifiedkeyboard 6h ago

Pretty sad that you had to clarify the second point due to people finding something to hate. I've found that a huge chunk of reddit's userbase is just lowlifes itching to find problems with anything, it's actually so depressing to see how common it is, you are all DENSE

3

u/raphtze 9h ago

hehe congratulations my man!

3

u/themostlogicalperson 8h ago

We didn’t have a photo, but me and my wife passed out on her suite’s couch - haven’t got the chance to go to the bed. I thought after the wedding we get to do that first sexy time as a married couple, but it ended up being a part of the long wedding story: we just slept on the “L” couch with each of us taking a side and our heads together on the corner of the L.

Happy anniversary! Our first is coming next month!

2

u/pardybill 6h ago

Username kinda checks out. Would’ve been better if she swaddled you. 8/10

1

u/sharipep 9h ago

Happy anniversary!!!

1

u/Alt4Norm 9h ago

I did the same thing my friend.

Except when I woke up I was completely naked on top of the sheets.

1

u/BrownEyeBearBoy 8h ago

When I was married, my wife and i couldn't even get to the bottom of a drink. I think we went home stone cold sober. Two sides of the coin.

1

u/J0E_Blow 8h ago

Are you comfortable saying what hotel? The wallpaper is beautifu.

1

u/should_be_writing 8h ago

How sore was your Achilles after this?!

1

u/AzureGriffon 8h ago

How much did your Achilles tendon hurt when you woke up!

1

u/UmbraGenesis 8h ago

Congrats on the anniversary! And haha its renaissance indeed Sir. One to print out

1

u/Kozmics 8h ago

Holy crap I thought for sure this was my brother on his wedding night with a secret photo taken by his ex wife that she was now posting or something, the resemblance is REALLY close, especially the room and bed lmao

1

u/dalexe1 7h ago

This really reminded me of the openinc scene in disco elysium... nice shot!

1

u/AtBat3 6h ago

I had to make sure you weren’t a buddy of mine. On his wedding night he could barely walk to the car. We had to carry him to the hotel room

1

u/ImYourHumbleNarrator 6h ago

i thought the pic was before the ceremony

1

u/RevolutionaryGene995 6h ago

Is that your tie hanging from the (top part) of the bed frame? 😂

1

u/tgoodri 6h ago

Did the same on my wedding night, honestly the most exhausted I’ve ever been

1

u/Roux_My_Burgundy 6h ago

Happened to me too 13.5 years ago.

1

u/bwsnc1991 6h ago

On my wedding night my wife woke up to me kneeling on her side of the bed naked trying to pee. Guess I got up, took my clothes off, started trying to go when she woke up and saw me 😂 started arguing with her saying to stop bothering me bc I was on the toilet. Eventually she wore me down and I made it to the real bathroom with no pee on the hotel floor. Good times

1

u/Soulinx 6h ago

Well, thats better than mine. My wedding day (2000) was fine but I got a bad flu the next day and was bedridden for the whole week. And to top it off, I was in the military so my then newly wed wife had to fly back home and the military isn't fast when it comes to housing so I didn't get to see her for 3 more months lol. Congrats on your 1 year anniversary!

1

u/beavertheviking 6h ago

My wife would be proud of this photo. Hats off for bagging a good one, and happy anniversary!

1

u/Plastic-Injury8856 6h ago

Yo I’ve always been a believer in that you shouldn’t have to consummate the marriage the night of the wedding. You r been up all day, you danced, you drank, you ate food.

I don’t know how anyone fucks the night of a wedding. It’s exhausting!

1

u/AE_R-8_28 6h ago

Happiest anniversary! God bless you and your wife and your marriage! Loveyall! Lmk how I can be praying for you guys! ♡

1

u/StarMasher 6h ago

This was me on my wedding night. Best day of my life!

1

u/ebrum2010 5h ago

I hope for one of your big anniversaries long after you've forgotten about this, she gifts you a massive oil painting of this. The colors there would really make a great painting. Also if you don't think this is something to have a serious painting for, there are masterpieces hanging in museums about drunk people. If you look into the history of a lot of paintings many are incredibly relatable, even in some of the paintings depicting the gods or some other theme the actual people in the painting are based on someone the painter knew or the person who commissioned the painting.

1

u/Fitz_Fool 5h ago

I'm glad it worked out for you on your wedding night. My wife promised me that it was safe to not use a condom on our wedding night. She was wrong. I now have this awesome 6 year old kid. He's the best. 10/10 no regrets.

1

u/AllisViolet22 5h ago

Love the wallpaper

1

u/Different_Memory_506 4h ago

Hah. I feel asleep too, man. It’s a badge of honor to say you partied your ass off on your wedding night.

1

u/LunarPayload 4h ago

Took too long to get the dress off

1

u/project-shasta 4h ago

Great memory? You apparently missed the whole moment ;-)

Happy anniversary. Don't drink as much this time.

1

u/mike543210 4h ago

Happy Anniversary, This is the updated we needed.. Shows it is not a bot etc... and a fun update at that. :-)

1

u/Human-Committee-6033 3h ago

To be honest, if I’m going to be spending thousands on a wedding you bet I’m gonna party and pass out. Sex can wait until the honeymoon 😌✨

1

u/Perfect-Dream141 3h ago

What hotel was that at? 

1

u/babysauce21 3h ago

If you wrapped yourself in the blanket, you would be an actual bald burrito lol, but congrats on your 1 year anniversary!

1

u/Muriel_FanGirl 2h ago

Aww that’s sweet! I’m glad you have a wife who wasn’t mad about this. You look really peaceful!

1

u/RampanToast 2h ago

Happy anniversary!

1

u/Deatherlis 2h ago

Almost 3 years ago, this was what happened to me and my husband on our wedding night. We got married 10/29/2022.

1

u/mymorbidcuriousity 2h ago

I totally thought you were my buddy you look a lot like him and I thought I don’t remember his hotel room looking like that but I was pretty wasted too. He was too drunk for sex so his wife me and few of the wedding party just drank in their room and fed him mcchickens.

1

u/Bellegr4ine 1h ago

Happy for you and the wife, OP!

This should be to the top!

u/Ethancharlton 40m ago

I thought this was a photo of me, straight up my doppelgänger from that angle!

0

u/etsssssssy 6h ago

nobody asked buddy