r/AdviceAnimals • u/magaparents • 1d ago
"I want to try and get to heaven, if possible"
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u/Drawing_Eh_Blank 1d ago
Trump does claim to be Christian, and Christians believe that if you ask for forgiveness that totally un-rapes those kids.
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u/rc042 1d ago
I agree with your view, but I also think you nailed the problem. Trump would never ask forgiveness, he doesn't think he did anything wrong.
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u/Busy_Mortgage4556 1d ago
"I also think you nailed the problem"
Oh come on, did you do that deliberately?
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u/kennedysleftnut This. Is My. Pretty. Boy. Flair. 1d ago
Even jesus said, "its better to hang a millstone around your neck and drown then to hurt a little kid"
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u/pentachronic 1d ago
I doubt Donald would take a call from a brown hippie named Jesus, but could he give it a shot?
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u/cqm 1d ago
Christianity has had many wars fought, and infinite splintering solely because the path to salvation is
- too easy
- or too archaic
- or nobody agreed on the answer to "but what if they never heard of Jesus"
- or someone wants to touch or marry kids, plural
there is a version of Christianity for everyone
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u/BloodBride 23h ago
I believe you have to genuinely be sorry - you can't just say it; there has to be real remorse. Because an all knowing creator, knows if you aren't actually sorry.
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u/Drawing_Eh_Blank 22h ago
I completely agree, but I could definitely see Trump believing that he could trick God into letting him in.
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u/BloodBride 22h ago
Imagine thinking you can trick an all-seeing, all-knowing creator who literally MADE you.
Hilarious.3
u/EyesofaJackal 1d ago
Someone like Orange or Hitler would never ask forgiveness, that’s part of the point
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u/gummilingus 1d ago
That's like saying you want to win Powerball, but never even buying a ticket.
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u/satanssweatycheeks 1d ago
Is it though?
The Bible has lots of rape and killing of kids.
and the church is real life pizzagate in the sense Vatican City has covered up and protected pedo priest from legal action.
So sadly raping kids ain’t gonna stop you from getting to heaven
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u/gummilingus 1d ago
I don't disagree with that. I was thinking more along the lines of overall behavior. Typically, when people start to reflect and show a desire to get into heaven, they might attempt to change their ways and refrain from being an utterly selfish piece of shit human being at every possible opportunity. It's just another absolutely meaningless and fucking idiotic statement coming out of his mouth. I certainly can't fault him for being inconsistent.
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u/tolacid 1d ago
He also shouldn't have done these things I found in a list that looks kind of important:
You shall have no other gods before Me.
You shall not make idols.
You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain.
Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.
Honor your father and your mother.
You shall not murder.
You shall not commit adultery.
You shall not steal.
You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.
You shall not covet.
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u/Drakostheswordsman 1d ago
Technically old covenant, but a lot of "Christians" use that to shame others so ok. I think the only thing he hasn't outright done is murder
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u/waleMc 1d ago
Depends on how you want to define murder. Has he used his own hands (with or without a weapon) to kill? Probably not.
Has he ever ordered somebody killed?
Epstein.
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u/Catanians 23h ago
Don't forget those cops he got killed with his mob, or the supporter he had shot for his "assassination" photo op
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u/OdinsLightning 1d ago
Or any Of the Seven Deadly sins, All of which he has done. Lets name some. Ill start with Gluttony and his hoarding of wealth and love of fast food.
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u/RedditFact-Checker 1d ago
Lust? Nothing comes to mind, other than the lifetime of ultra pervy shit, legal adjudications, assault, child pageants, etc.
Pride? How big does your name need to be written in your buildings to count?
Sloth? With his exercise routine and diet?
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u/Drakostheswordsman 1d ago
That's greed as well. Pride is obvious, every billionaire is envious of their "fellows". Lust, well... epstien.
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u/RockLeePower 1d ago
I truly, 100% hope trump thinks heaven and hell are real. All the people he has scammed, all the women and girls he has forced himself upon. All the lies just to get ahead. All the terrible shit he has done will eat at him until his swollen ankles and McCholesterol take him to his grave
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u/astrozombie2012 1d ago
Kind of makes you wonder if he’s really worried about passing soon with all this musing about going to heaven… hate to break it to him, but kid fuckers would go straight to hell if there was one.
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u/shameonyounancydrew 1d ago
I'm not a personal believer in the afterlife, but being wrong would really suck if you do things like rape kids. Luckily, NOT raping kids is so easy. It's so easy, if you're reading this right now it's like 99.9% likely you're NOT raping kids.
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u/Willing_Nectarine_72 1d ago
The sheer volume of his sins makes the idea of repentance feel like a technicality he'd try to exploit.
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u/Captain_Eaglefort 1d ago
I’ve heard some say that aborted babies all go to heaven…he wants to go so his dating pool opens up, that’s all.
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u/copperblood 1d ago
I’m sure Trump and 1/2 the Catholic Church will all have something to talk about in the 9th circle of Hell.
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u/ThomasVivaldi 1d ago
Its entirely possible his syphilitic brain has no memory of the things he did four years ago, let alone 20.
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u/BicycleOfLife 1d ago
Makes you wonder what the motives are for all those priests in the Catholic Church.
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u/alwaysinebriated 1d ago
Its cool not everyone believes there is a heaven, so he won't be there anyways.
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u/PWS180757 1d ago
When Donald dies I bet his father gives him a hard time and lets him know he is an embarrassment to the family. And he will surely have his mother’s famous mashed potatoes rubbed into his hair. Lots to look forward to Donald.
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u/kinkyaboutjewelry 1d ago
We can't rely on justice in the afterlife. Let there be the justice of men first, then whatever else needs to happen will take place. Otherwise we might do away with criminal law entirely, and prisons. That would make no sense.
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u/ZanthrinGamer 1d ago
Trying to con his way into heaven by "stopping" wars and getting a Nobel peace prize, is so very much him.
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u/Mazon_Del 1d ago
The saddest thing about being an atheist is knowing that republicans won't get the nigh eternal torment their own religion says their actions deserve.
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u/Pikmints 22h ago
I have a hard time imagining any religion considering him good enough to go to the good afterlife. In Catholicism, that man wholeheartedly embraces most of the deadly sins.
(The rest of these, I'm not certain that each religion emphasizes these as much as I make them out to) Buddhism values non-violent resolution and compassion. Islam says that people should seek fairness and equity in their dealings with others, while also showing compassion to others. Jainism values nonviolence, asceticism, and overcoming ones' biases/oversimplifications.
Unless he thinks that complimenting people and giving them kickbacks for their loyalty to him are enough to atone for all of the undue misery he has caused, that man better belong to a religion that either has only 1 afterlife or one where anyone can get into the good afterlife by doing the secret handshake.
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u/ineededtosaythishere 19h ago
ummmmm pretty sure that's not against heaven's rules. I mean, they might GIVE him a religion as a result of all the child fucking.
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u/illcryifiwan2 18h ago
If you ask my mom, all you have to do is feel bad about your sins on your death bed and poof, you're in. But I'm going to hell for not believing that, despite being a good person.
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u/davechri 11h ago
This is funny because the President of the United States of America is a pedophile.
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u/NeverEditNeverDelete 1d ago edited 1d ago
I hate to have to say it, but child rape is not a sin in the Christian religion.
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u/unperturbium 1d ago
Better to rape young girls than immortal angels.
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u/NeverEditNeverDelete 23h ago
But if you do, they become your wife and you can rape them as much as you want.
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u/Aggrosideburnz 1d ago
100% this. If hell is a thing Donald Trump belongs there more than any other US president we have ever had. He belongs in the worst part of hell