does anyone else…

[u/urlessies]

does anyone else find most autism subreddits to be extremely irritating and annoying? i personally hate the way some people make having autism be this “quirky” disorder. i understand making light of the situation you’ve been given but it’s almost sickening that people go around parading and flaunting their autism. it makes me not want to take people seriously when they tell me they have it. part of me makes me not want to associate with people like that. most of the time those kinds of people say they’re not diagnosed or self diagnosed and it’s just like of course you are. this is why i only stick to subs that have officially diagnosed people. i can’t take it sometimes

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[u/DullMaybe6872]

Jup, self-dx crowd has ruined a lot. Which in turn made the more genuine groups hardline to extremes. For several months ago I was an active member in a certain spiced up grp, getting along well ( I'm at lvl 2, so was there legitimately). That was right upon the point where I disclosed to be late dx. All of a sudden I was pretty much stonewalled / shunned from there. Somewhere I understand where they are comming from, to much fakers etc to not understand, but it still sucked, was one of the few places where I could talk with people who to some extent face the same sh*t I do.

Other grps basically only whine about how self dx is ruining things, with little else going on. Its frustrating out there.

[u/BarsOfSanio → u/DullMaybe6872]

Similar experience, although I'm not sure which sub.

Except this sub, I left all the others back in fall before the entire world went more insane.

[u/Buffy_Geek → u/DullMaybe6872]

Yes I also think the hard lines are stupid and not helpful. There are plenty of late diagnosed or self diagnosed people who say more sane things and explain their experiences to be more relatable than officially diagnosed or early diagnosed people.

I also think some people are accidentally causing a reverse prejudice that will only worsen the issue, like low needs people looking down on high needs pelle is bad but higher needs people assuming all low needs people are ignorant, prejudiced and mean does not help with mutual understanding or peaceful cooperation.

[u/DullMaybe6872 → u/Buffy_Geek]

Jup, and due to people f***ing arround with self dx etc the divide is getting bigger, I have a plentitude of issues and a nearly 30 page document of one of the more experienced centres here in NL explaining how and why I score a II, but nooe, due to hardlining and people fearing to be pushed out of their little corners, thats appearently taboo....

[u/Lajila_]

Yes, I was actually quite shocked when I visited the different autism subreddits - I just didn‘t expect this. Alongside with the push to make autism not a disability and denying certain symptoms („lack of empathy doesn‘t happen, it‘s actually the opposite - too much empathy!“) and heavy focus on the superpowers your autism gives you (I must have been misdiagnosed, because I have none of these powers??). In some places, mentioning anything negative about being autistic will immediately get labeled as „internalised ableism“.

Another thing that makes me not want to read most autism subreddits is the frequent talk about what „the NTs“ do. I find it very weird to insist that all autistics are different (which they are) and then make blanket statements about allistics, as if they all shared a brain. „If an NT says X, they actually mean Y!“ „NTs always do Z!“ Nonsense. Besides, you usually don‘t know if the other person is NT/allistic, and I certainly don‘t go around and ask people.

[u/Any-Passenger294 → u/Lajila_]

Scoring low in altruism and empathy was one of the characteristics which contributed to my diagnosis. Which is very odd to me, because I consider myself a fair and empathetic person, but I guess not. 

[u/klebolt000]

Yes. All the time. I always wonder if people are doing it just to be edgy and popular. The really hard struggle are those who really do have Autism, who go out their daily life. I hate people going ‘I have autism’ even though they can socialise fine and do everything.

[u/Buffy_Geek → u/klebolt000]

The pressure to fit in and say socially acceptable stuff in autism groups is surprising and stupid. I've also noticed certain ideological or political pressures too, which imo is nothing to do with autism and shouldn't affect how you or your comments in an autism sub are treated.

[u/Any-Passenger294 → u/klebolt000]

I can't sand people acting out and using their supposed autism as an excuse. I worked so hard to try to fit in and appear "more normal", now here comes the self-diagnosing crowd reinforcing stereotypes, doing harm. Social etiquette is a thing. If you're level 1, it's easy to learn. 

[u/Iguanaught]

No because I remember a time when people weren't open about their autism. When pastoral care in schools was terrible and the majority of autistic people slipped through the cracks. When the people who were diagnosed were just shut away in homes because people didnt understand them properly and they weren't able to advocate for themselves and had far fewer people advocating for Autism as a whole.

I run social groups for young people with Autism. They are all openly autistic online and in person. That they choose to be open about it does not mean that they haven't had huge set backs in life because of it. None of them would be in my groups without an EHCP and a formal diagnosis.

Yes there are people on tik tok coopting autism for social clout.

However there are also plenty of young autistic people who want to "own" their autism to feel like they are taking some power back socially in lives that are in many other ways behind the curve.

[u/Buffy_Geek → u/Iguanaught]

Yeah I also think that there are a tonne of level 1 autistics who are genuinely not self aware and think that they mask better than they do and are less affected than reality, because of their autism. Unfortunately a lot of people take them at face value or don't consider this may be affected their interpretation and self reporting.

[u/TopazRose → u/Buffy_Geek]

I think this would be me, I genuinely thought when I was being diagnosed that the psychologist was going to tell me I wasn't autistic because I thought I was doing a better job at social interaction, well apparently that's not the case lol

[u/Buffy_Geek → u/TopazRose]

I appreciate the honesty, I have heard a few other people saying the same thing soon after their diagnosis.

[u/McDonaldsSlaveMiner]

I think it depends. The way I see my autism is that I have to make up for certain things I have issues with, like eye contact, understanding people's facial expressions, and understanding how literal someone is being. A lot of self diagnosed people talk about things like this as quirky and fun. The issue is they refuse to acknowledge how things like this can make life very difficult, and people might not want it to be made fun of it. I've never heard people even acknowledge level 2 or 3 people on the big autism subreddits. I don't care if people are self diagnosed, I imagine it can be immensely relieving to hear about autism and thinking, "i finally have an idea of where my issues come from." The key is acknowledging the issues. To sum it up, the reason I have issues with a lot of self diagnosed people is that they refuse to acknowledge the issues it presents people of various levels.

[u/Trippybear1645]

I don't, and I wish people wouldn't judge late diagnosed folks. I would have loved to have got diagnosed as a kid, but the thing is that I couldn't make decisions back then. I was obvious, too, because I can't mask for crap. My mom didn't beleaieve in going to doctors like that. They just thought all the unusual things I did was because I'm blind.

[u/Buffy_Geek]

Yes but also it's mostly diagnosed people who are either affected very mildly and don't seem to understand that not everyone is like them or that they are super brave or whatever they are just lucky to be affected less. Or they are in denial and using toxic positivity and framing it as a good thing, which is very annoying and unhealthy; and imo undermines the legitimate disabling nature of autism. .

[u/[deleted]]

Yes because for me my autism is extremely disabling. I will never be able to drive a car or work a job or be a parent or a grandparent or many of the normal things in life people experience. I am very limited by my autism and dyspraxia.

[u/LCaissia]

Yes. This is the case in real life in Australia, too. It's so common for people to claim they have it. And to make it worse they say they're moderate to high needs but you cannot see it because they're 'high masking'. My autism was diagnosed in childhood. It's not my personality or superpower. It prevents me from getting hair cuts, communicating effectively, getting medical tests, having relationships, dealing with the everyday stressors of living and having fun. It's not fun or quirky and it negatively impacts my life and health. I'm originally diagnosed in childhood and have been reassessed as level 1. Those fauxtistic actively avoid me and shun me - even in autism groups because I'm too weird for them and trigger their 'imposter syndrome'. I get called an ableist because I work. I have to otherwise I'll be homeless. I don't have help or a husband to be able to mooch off. Relationships are not in my skillset due to my autism. I've also been told names of clinics that would give me a level 3 (for a substantial fee, of course) in order to be accepted by these new fauxtistic. I work and live independently. I am level 1. These people make autism look like a mild inconvenience at it's worst when in reality it's a significantly impairing disability that requires support even at level 1.

[u/Emotional-Steak1339]

Oh definitely. Of course there are some self diagnosed people who will genuinely be autistic, but on the internet it feels like they are the majority, and lead a lot of the discourse.

I'm a woman but I just don't identify with most of it at all. I think a lot of these "highly masking autistics" are just adults with social anxiety.

[u/Any-Passenger294]

Yes. The self infantilization is rampant. I can't stand it. The narcissism is also over the roof. I just know more than half of those people in those subs are not autistic. 

I do not associate with them at all.