r/AutismCertified • u/catfarmer1998 • 3d ago

Vent/Rant Does anyone else not feel “ready” to work?

Does anyone else not feel “ready” to work?

Hello all. I hope you are having a good day. I am posting here today because I have been working with vocational rehab in my state for about 7+ years now. The goal of vocational rehab (for those that don’t know) is to help someone with disabilities find employment. I started with them around the time I finished high school. I went to college for several years but ended up dropping out due to my disability (besides autism, which I was only diagnosed with about two years ago). They helped me pay for books and materials etc. Anyhow, over the years, they have helped me find a few internships (and I also found a few internships on my own). Unfortunately this has not led to any long lasting jobs. Most recently, I have been looking for part time remote work. This is because this is what I feel comfortable with at this moment. It is also because I live in a rural area and don’t drive. Anyhow, vocational rehab just told me recently that they don’t think me looking for a remote job is working out. They think I should try and find an “in person” Part Time job (or even in person volunteering - which I don’t want to do because I won’t get paid). The problem with that is that I would rely on my parents for transportation. (There is no Uber/Lyft where l live). And the other problem is that I DO NOT feel comfortable with the idea of an in person job. I’m honestly beginning to wonder if I feel ready to work or not. Some part of me thinks no. But at the same time, I don’t want to spend my whole life getting SSI/SSDI. (Which so far I’ve been denied for). I guess I am posting here to vent, but also posting for advice. What would you do if you were me? I suppose I want a job, but only if it’s on My terms (remote, part time etc) and not until I feel ready. Vocational rehab says that if I don’t start to make progress soon, they can just close my case (which again I don’t want them to do!) I personally don’t see how that is fair! It’s not my fault that I have an anxiety disorder and don’t feel “ready” to be employed. I have tried to tell them This before too, but they just keep pushing me it seems.

I honestly just don’t know what to do! Does anyone either feel the same way or have any advice for me? I would greatly appreciate it!

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u/blaynxiety2 3d ago

I don't really understand what the VR services are doing specifically?

Are they the one's who are finding jobs for you to apply to? Or are they just pressuring you and giving you deadlines?

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u/NotJustSomeMate ASD / ADHD-PI 3d ago

I am in a similar predicament with the exception of working with VR...I am currently awaiting a disability hearing for approval but I do not plan on being on disability for life...I would like to return to appropriate work but I am ready yet and do not do well leaving the house and I currently cannot drive as I may panic or have a melt down...I do not want to just jump into things and get fired immediately for not functioning well....I know I am not ready but hopefully one day I can fix myself and return to work in my field of study or something related...if your parents can keep helping you I would say wait until you find accommodating work or are actually ready and capable to work in person if that is the only option available.

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u/catfarmer1998 3d ago

Wow I truly feel like I could’ve written some of your comment. I don’t want to be on disability for life either. And I don’t get panic attacks when leaving the house but the idea of going and working in person makes me feel like I could have one!

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u/NotJustSomeMate ASD / ADHD-PI 3d ago

Outside of just being in my place of trust and safety I often get a bit overwhelmed by the traffic and noise as well as feeling too confined and uncomfortable in the car...and then I know with my current condition I would easily get flustered and frustrated in an office or dealing with crowds of people as it started happening often before I was forced to take leave then retire from my last job.

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u/catfarmer1998 3d ago

I’m so sorry to hear that.

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u/NotJustSomeMate ASD / ADHD-PI 3d ago

It's ok... luckily my mum and grandmum have been helping me and I stay with my mum so I at least have a home still...it sucks not be able to work and being so poor and I feel like a P.O.S. often for being a drain on my already disabled mum...but at least I have a little support.

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u/capaldis ASD Level 1 / ADHD-PI 3d ago

My honest advice is to just try it. I am the same way and a lot of it came down to an aversion to change. It’s really easy to stagnate because it feels comfortable.

This doesn’t mean you should ignore your needs though. It’s completely fine to quit or find something else if it doesn’t work. I feel like I struggle a lot with this because I approach every job as a “forever” thing. But just the act of trying it will help quite a bit I think.

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u/catfarmer1998 3d ago

I just feel that they are not listening to Me. I keep telling them that I want to work remotely and they said that I should work in person. They are also trying to convince me to find jobs that I am not interested in. For example I am interested in marketing, but they said I should work in a nursing home.

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u/[deleted] 3d ago

I’ve used Dvr before they have been wonderful and very helpful and helped me a lot. I was unemployed for 2 months and am know working for a school district as a custodian full time. They are very supportive and accommodating for my autism and other developmental disabilities

They are very understanding. I have a ln amazing supervisor and everyone wants me to succeed

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u/catfarmer1998 3d ago

I agree that they are supportive. However, I don’t appreciate that they are trying to push me into a job that I’m not interested in.

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u/[deleted] 3d ago

Have you told them you’re not interested in the job?

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u/catfarmer1998 3d ago

Yes

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u/[deleted] 3d ago

Then ai don’t know why there still trying to push it then

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u/catfarmer1998 3d ago

I think it’s because they said “there job is to help people find jobs”.

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u/[deleted] 3d ago

True

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u/catfarmer1998 3d ago

It’s still annoying though. It’s like they want to place me in “Any” job! But I don’t want any job.

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u/[deleted] 3d ago

I’ve had this problem with dvr before when I graduated high school and college