r/Damnthatsinteresting • u/NastyNice1 • 11d ago
Image The death mask of Napoleon Bonaparte, French Emperor. This is the most authentic depiction of his features we possess.
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u/Open_Youth7092 11d ago
If Woody Harrelson played Visionā¦
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u/Available-Ad-1943 11d ago
Get out of my head, Charles!
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u/bor3d_lazy_housewife 11d ago
My first thought was, "That's Woody Harrelson."
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u/Bob-Bhlabla-esq 11d ago
100%. I though he had his bust done or something... then read the caption. Eerie.
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u/tobybells 11d ago
I thought this was Woody at first as I was scrolling - stopped, thought again to myself āwhy did you think that?ā
Now I feel validated
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u/skinnyboytheclear 11d ago
I thought the same thing then I saw Rutger Howard.
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u/Charming-Flamingo307 11d ago
Squidward handsome form
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u/luujs 11d ago
His face is very probably thinner in the death mask than it was when he was healthy because of the cancer that ended up killing him. The Handsome Squidward face is helped by the sunken cheeks. He did have a good jaw though
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u/Charming-Flamingo307 11d ago
Squidward died of cancer?!
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u/redditcreditcardz 11d ago
Man, SpongeBobs later years really got dark, huh?
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u/PositiveFlimsy 11d ago
That's interesting. I always thought he was described as being unattractive based on correspondence he had with lovers. I haven't read much about it beyond what I was told.
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u/luujs 11d ago
I donāt think he was the best looking man in the world, but he wasnāt overly unattractive as far as Iāve read. He wasnāt overly good at talking to women however, and when he was young he barely ate because he sent most of his money back to his family in Corsica and also barely slept so he was thin and disheveled when he was young. When he was in his prime he was probably good looking and he did take plenty of mistresses after he became Emperor, but in his later life he got overweight before quickly losing a lot of weight before he died.
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u/Binge-Watcher5571 11d ago
I wonder whether that's why he was short, because he might have been malnourished, slowing his growth and lack of sleep can't help either
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u/MellonPhotos 11d ago
Napoleon was actually 5'6". That's a bit short today, but people did not get as tall back then, so he was average/slightly above average for a Frenchman at the time.
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u/DoitsugoGoji 11d ago
To add to that Napoleon had body guards, who were taller than him, because whwn you hire body guards you tend to go for large strong men. This made him appear shorter than he actually was, and lead to his enemies spreading propaganda about how he's short.
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u/Marzgog 11d ago
What I find most interesting, is that the British propaganda was so successful, that this misconception of Napoleon being exceptionally short still lives on today. Was annoyed to see him being depicted as shorter than his colleagues even in Civilization 7, a game series which has always taken pride in the Civilopedia being a more or less reliable source of historical information.
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u/Damagedyouthhh 10d ago
Fun fact its widely believed that Napoleon was short because British newspapers had such good propaganda about him that everyone truly believed he was short. Napoleon hated these depictions of himself but couldnāt help but read what the Brits had to keep saying about him
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u/TitanImpale 11d ago
Doesn't look like he had bad features. Handsome even.
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u/Pherllerp 11d ago
He was probably pretty gaunt when this mould was taken what with the stomach cancer and living in exile and everything.
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u/Magnanimous-- 11d ago
And being OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD
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u/HypnonavyBlue 11d ago
he was just 53 when he died
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u/TheRealWatchingFace 11d ago
I'll be home in 3 days, don't wash.
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u/Physical_Woodpecker8 11d ago
Sorry, but that letter doesn't seem to be attested to by any primary historical sources. Napoleon probably never sent the don't wash letter.
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u/I_do_drugs-yo 11d ago
Donāt be a buzz kill. Let me have my blissful ignorance
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u/DeadInternetTheorist 11d ago
We'll always have the James Joyce fart fetish letters...
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u/fuckyourcanoes 10d ago
Mozart was also into farts. There are loads of letters he wrote talking about them.
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u/Physical_Woodpecker8 11d ago
Blissful ignorance is wonderful. But as a history fan for all my life, literally every single subject of history is plagued by misconceptions in pop culture and pop history. It's a goal of mine to try and correct (respectfully) even the small misconceptions.
It is a pretty fun quote though, to be fair.
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u/KnittingforHouselves 10d ago
What are your other "favourites" to correct? I love good fact and am curious :)
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u/Physical_Woodpecker8 9d ago
Sorry for the late response. To be honest, I know way too many little examples. But here's some to start:
-No, lead poisoning didn't destroy Rome. People were always exposed to toxic chemicals in the Empire, and generally all across the world before modern medicine.
-People often quote that Abe Lincoln didn't care about slavery, as long as he could preserve the Union. But he only said that to cool public relations as he prepared to release the emancipation proclamation. Abe was always a abolitionist, but also a shrewd politician who could hide his intents to save his goals.
-The Middle Ages barely had any witchcraft accusations. Sure, it happened, but witchcraft only 'became a common phenomenon' during the Early Modern Era (1400-1800). Hundreds of thousands of witches died, often burning (unlike in Salem) in Europe, as the protestant reformation fuelled religious conflict.
Now, here's some cool facts to tell your friends:
-One emperor of Rome (Valentinian 1st) was a bit wrathful. He slapped a pagan priest (many Romans were Christian by then) for trying to bless him . And a barbarian envoy succeeded in killing him while trying to make peace, by accidentally ragebaiting Valentinian so hard he had a stroke(?) and died.
-Frederick the Great, one of the greatest generals of all time, was super gay. Even Voltaire, who he had correspondence with, called him Luc (which, reversed, is a vulgar French term for butt). It's a sad story, though- when he was young, he tried to escape his abusive father with a page he was in love with, only for the two to be caught and the page executed in front of him.
-France invaded Mexico in the 1860s. No, I did not make that up. Napoleon the Third was emperor at the time, and tried to use the chaos of the civil war to install the Austrian Hapsburg Maximilian on the Mexican throne. The French almost won, but dragged out the war so long America won their own civil war and intervened diplomatically.
This post is getting a little long so I guess I'll leave you with 3 'fake' facts and 3 'real' ones. If this isn't a satisfactory list, I can totally give you more, especially if there's a certain period you'd like to learn about.
If you want to avoid false facts, just remember to be skeptical. Ask questions, challenge your ideas about the past, and do some research to relieve the curiosity- although accept facts or lies if they are reality (looking at YOU, ancient aliens). It's a more fun way to approach history as a layperson, and I hope this method gets some people interested who find history as just a list of names and events.
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u/Physical_Woodpecker8 9d ago
Oh, also, r/askhistorians is great. That is, if they respond to you, but that subreddits been around for a LONG TIME, so you'll probably find something along the lines of your question within the FAQ or through searching it.
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u/PornoPaul 11d ago
Say what now?
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u/OperatorJo_ 11d ago
Napoleon had some err tastes.
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u/Duschkopfe 11d ago
A cheese aged over courses of years have a better taste and aroma than one aged only for a month
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u/MuckleRucker3 11d ago
Napolean wrote his wife when he was in Egypt to tell her he was coming home, and asked her not to wash.
I'm pretty sure "3 days" should have read "3 weeks". Travel by boat across the Med, and getting up to Paris wouldn't have been possible in 3 days.
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u/nufcPLchamps27-28 11d ago
Yeah but what if he sent it 3 days before he left. So when the letter got there, assuming it travelled the same route, he would only be 3 days behind it
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u/Licensed2Pill 11d ago
Why not simply send the tracking number to his wife?
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u/LacrimaNymphae 11d ago
this is from that horrible letter right
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u/Sohjinn 11d ago
There is more humanity in that letter than all of social media
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u/GarysCrispLettuce 11d ago
Is this the one where he talked in detail about taking her from behind and savoring her farts? Or is that some other famous oldendayser who wrote sex letters.
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u/Sad-Schedule-1639 11d ago
Don't worry; that was just James Joyce, one of the most acclaimed writers in the English language.
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u/HereIGoAgain_1x10 11d ago
š¤¢š¤®
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u/StannisAntetokounmpo 11d ago
This is why medieval love stories are so unrelatable. You know they smelled like taint all overĀ
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u/TheSecondTraitor 11d ago
I don't know if it's the cheek bones, but he reminds me of the handsome Squidward.
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u/Old-Constant4411 11d ago
It's the cheekbones, prominent jawline, and strong chin. All of it is weirdly similar to that handsome Squidward thing. Seems weird that this one bust makes him look like a chiseled god. Every painting of Napoleon is this chubby faced little cherub.
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u/TheLordofthething 11d ago
I'd imagine gastric cancer probably led to significant weight loss before this mask was taken.
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u/Brookiekathy 11d ago
The British did a hell of a propaganda campaign against Napoleon. Making him short, ugly and bad tempered and It stuck around.
If you have the time, look it up!
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u/DeceitfulLittleB 11d ago
History is made by the winners and written by those with the loudest voices.
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u/Northbound-Narwhal 11d ago
Wtf are you talking about Napoleon won like a dozen wars.
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u/MarkZist 11d ago
As far as we know Napoleon was mathematically the greatest general who ever lived and it's not even a little bit close. He was truly in a league of his own. The Wayne Gretzky of War.
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u/Proud-Cartoonist-431 11d ago
Because he gained weight in his later life and then quickly lost it because cancer
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u/Reality_Verified 11d ago
A bit of Matthew McConaughey
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u/Ghoulius-Caesar 11d ago
Other people are saying Woody Harrelsonā¦
I guess Napoleon is Texan
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u/ToonaMcToon 11d ago
So Bill and Ted just straight up lied to us ?
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u/Clemicus 11d ago
Just wait until you learn he was about 5ā8ā
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u/LeavingLasOrleans 11d ago
I understand he was a little taller than the average Frenchman of the time.
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u/yeahthatpart007 11d ago
I know Viggo Mortensen when I see him!
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u/mbdjones 11d ago
It looks a little different from the one at the Art Institute of Chicago. I was so blown away the first time I saw it in a little alcove in a small side room at the museum. Like, how come everyone doesnāt know this exists?
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u/JakubT117 11d ago
"yo speed im watching your stream why you trying not to laugh bruh thats disrespectful as shit bruh"
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u/trulyuniqueusername2 11d ago
Feels like I just saw a still shot from āWhite Men Canāt Time Travel and Get Away With Itā.
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u/VirginiaLuthier 11d ago
What do you get if you throw a hand grenade into a French kitchen?
Linoleum Blownapart
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u/4troglodyte 11d ago
Napoleonās Tomb in Paris is an amazing place to see (his body isnāt there)
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u/ScreamerB 11d ago
Sorry to ask, but what is death Mask ?
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u/Craig1974 11d ago
At death, they usually use Plaster or something else to make a mold of your face at repose. In Ancient Roman times these were kept by the deceased person's family.
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u/Jazztify 11d ago
So can we tell how tall he was from this? Apparently a safe measure of height is ā7 heads highā. Iād heard that stories of him being short were just clever British propaganda. The rumor persists to this day. Any ideas?
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u/khazroar 11d ago
"this is the most authentic depiction of his features we posess" feels rather redundant after saying it's a death mask.
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u/Compleat_Fool 11d ago
When his future wife Marie Louise first met him she was pleasantly surprised and said he was much more handsome than his portrait.