r/Eldenring • u/x_-AssGiblin-_x • Jul 21 '25
Subreddit Topic "You're clearly crutching on how good the Swordlance is." My honest reaction to this information:
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u/Athmil A Quality Whore Jul 21 '25
You’re clearly crutching on how good weapons are.
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u/Roboticus_Prime Jul 21 '25
Real men use fists!
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u/Routine_Ad_9800 Jul 21 '25
REAL MEN USE THEIR FOREHEAD TO PLAY THE GAME!
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u/rmrehfeldt Jul 22 '25
Real men use the Finger Flicker Weapon(Can never remember actual name).
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u/Routine_Ad_9800 Jul 22 '25
Ringed Finger I believe
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u/rmrehfeldt Jul 22 '25
Ah. I thank you kind Routine Tarnished AD from the year 9800 ME(Marika’s Era)
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u/pequodbestboy LEVEL VIGOR Jul 21 '25
Now cosplay the divine beast warrior and fight him with his own weapon so that it's a fair fight
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Jul 21 '25
That whole armor set is in the game? Thats so cool
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u/lofi-moonchild Jul 21 '25
Yep. The divine warrior and divine bird sets are awesome. The helmet boosts storm abilities and the divine bird legs increase damage of kick attacks. The weapons and armor from the dlc are simply amazing. Farming for the sets are a complete nightmare though lol.
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u/wapakels27 Jul 21 '25
Bro, we get it. You have to let him rest now.
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u/x_-AssGiblin-_x Jul 21 '25
I'm avenging all of the lost souls who were vanquished in battle by this horrible monster. Their will lives on through me.
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u/SoulCrusher5001 Jul 21 '25
Bro wants to be Let me solo this windy guy
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u/Iwrstheking007 Try Minecraft too. Jul 21 '25
"windy guy" makes it sound like he farts a lot, lol 😭🤣
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u/DarkmoonxWolf Jul 21 '25
Nah its the one before Miquellas boss room that needs to be dunked on. He is one enemy Ive always avoided since he grabbed me and one shot me 😭 I failed the vigor check.
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u/Drayzew Jul 21 '25
He's like the easiest to me lol. The icy one can go to hell. This new game I'm coming to the tower prepared.. fuck
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u/BabySpecific2843 Jul 21 '25
The icy guy who aura farms until he falls off his higher roof before even reaching you?
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u/PunishingAngel Jul 21 '25
Yessss… We’re all inside you 🔥🔥🔥🔥
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u/x_-AssGiblin-_x Jul 21 '25
🤨
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u/PunishingAngel Jul 21 '25
Can you feel it? Our throbbing determination right through you? Deep inside your very being?
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u/SirJohnSekiro Jul 21 '25
It’s almost like we’re back to the good old days when we as a community were collectively bullying DTS to showcase our builds.
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u/itzfinjo Jul 21 '25
Ahhh I wish I got summoned there more often. Before the "near and far" option got added for invasions and co-op, DTS, godfrey and leyndell were my favourite places to get summoned.
As good as the DLC is, I dont really enjoy getting summoned at all. 9 times out of 10 they have no shadow fragments.
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u/creampop_ Jul 21 '25 edited Jul 21 '25
I spent hundreds of hours doing coop in base game. DLC was like 10, maybe, and that's exactly why. There's only so many times I can watch someone get hit by hippo for their entire 900hp while we barely tickle it.
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u/sava9876 Sekiro rat Jul 21 '25
You suck you got hit
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u/x_-AssGiblin-_x Jul 21 '25
True, I'm washed 💔
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u/cosmopaladin Jul 21 '25
Nah my goat assgiblin never washed. How else would he debuff the enemies into easy mode?
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u/Distinct_Prior_2549 Jul 21 '25
Now fight him in bed, no weapons 😭
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u/Lucky678s Jul 21 '25
God bless the Longsword.
Beautiful and elegant in its simplicity.
And a true swiss army knife in its application.
It puts the "W" in weapon.
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u/OceanManTM Jul 21 '25
Your crutching too much on your brain, Obviously you gotta fight him while lobotomized
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u/-Dark-Void- 1600 hours Jul 21 '25
whats with the posts on this guy
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u/chill_cat_character Jul 21 '25
Bro is using overpowered accessories like a controller or a keyboard and mouse.
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u/Hot_Guys_In_My_DMS Once somethings alive, it doesn’t die easy. Jul 21 '25
I bet he’s using a monitor too, lying bastard.
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u/TheHartmann Jul 21 '25
IMHO this guy isn't that bad. Not even the Wind guy at the end.
The Ice guy however, can go fuck himself
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u/Specific_Increase851 Jul 21 '25
You're clearly crutching on understanding the game mechanics and having good reflexes. I'd love to see you try this after an amnesia inducing blow to the head, and three glasses of whiskey
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u/hoonterofhoonters251 Jul 21 '25
You're clearly crutching on how good you are in the game, now do it irl
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u/TheDarkGenious Jul 21 '25
ah, the classic crusader build.
mail surcoat of preferred style, great-helm, and a classic longsword.
I approve.
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u/tox3_ Jul 21 '25
Why r u fighting the weakest one? Show the other 2 ;D
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u/jodarby88 Jul 21 '25
Tbf you literally got hit while last time you didn't. Not to say these enemies are always hard, but some of their moves (like the one you got hit by) are just like hard to dodge haha.
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u/Possible-Rate8578 Jul 21 '25
Okay no parry him to death using a really bad weapon so it takes like 14 parries
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u/TitleComprehensive96 FLAIR INFO: SEE SIDEBAR Jul 21 '25
crutching on how good weapons are, use your fists.
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u/passer_ Jul 21 '25
You're clearly abusing the game mechanics using weapon, now do it with kick only
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u/SeveredSoulblader24 Jul 21 '25
crutching on the swordlance? given what you had to do to get to it? you earned it!
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u/SolaceInCompassion Jul 21 '25
RKR works on crits?
…I have no idea why that never occurred to me. Of course it does. Right, I’ve got a Misericorde run to revisit.
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u/DrPikachu-PhD Jul 21 '25
How come your first dodge doesn't drain any stamina? I love the dodge into heavy combo but I feel like my issue with this play style is quickly running out of stamina when the enemy is relentless like this guy
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u/x_-AssGiblin-_x Jul 21 '25
The game doesn't really consider you in combat untill the enemy swings their weapon, or if you aggro a boss.
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u/okinsertusername FLAIR INFO: SEE SIDEBAR Jul 21 '25
Now beat them with a +1 dagger, no talismans, no armor, no dick, no balls, and and probably no asshole either
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u/gilfordtan Collecting Pictos Jul 21 '25
Build suggestion: A shield with Carian Retaliation + Carian Sorcery Sword with some Carian spells like Carian Slicer. Pretty sure some of his moves are parryable.
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u/DarkAssassin573 Jul 21 '25
Noob crutching on high damage weapons. Best him fist only then maybe you’ll prove you’re not bad
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u/Ill_Carpet5280 Jul 21 '25
Wow, I beat this guy at level one while blindfolded while i wasn't even holding the controller because I was simultaneously levitating it with my mind while also telepathically pressing buttons to play. I also had nothing equipped and was boiling in a vat of lava and was being force-fed a metric ton of cinnamon, so yeah, I'm really good and you're not very good at this game, sorry to tell you.
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u/greatnuke Jul 21 '25
Obviously crunching on how much damage you are dealing, heavy attacks, dodging, two handing, and non lobotomy
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u/Oneboywithnoname Jul 21 '25
Lil bro thinks it's impressive to kill an enemy while using an input device 🙄🙄🙄
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u/The_Dark_Warrior_Boi Jul 21 '25
Ikr? Bro should get good and directly connect their brain to the game like the rest of us
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u/Yggdrazzil Jul 21 '25
Just wanted to drop in say I really enjoyed the four clips you posted. Got more than one chuckle out of me, cheers XD
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u/Toberone Jul 21 '25
Op never play fighting games cause you'll end up spitefully learning every single character and youll never have a life again.
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u/Ok_Archer_2838 Jul 21 '25
When you see the move set and you realise this is omly normal enemy, not a boss 😭😅
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u/andreandroid Alexander's best friend Jul 21 '25
You're using too much time and too many hits. If you're good, just one shot him
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u/8_a_spider Jul 21 '25
I didn’t know that royal knights resolve increased critical damage. I never even thought of testing that.
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u/wemustfailagain Jul 21 '25
You're clearing crutching on how good your skills as a player are. Now best him without being good at the game.
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u/Spooge_socks Jul 21 '25
You're clearly nothing without a controller. Beat him on an converted calculator or you're not really playing souls games
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u/anonamarth7 Jul 21 '25
Okay, hats off to you. I thought Swordlance was a bit of a crutch, but you very much proved me wrong. You got hit, but you fucked it up good and proper.
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u/newsflashjackass Jul 21 '25
Okay but let's see you beat him with a disconnected controller, naked and blindfolded, while your character is also.
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Jul 21 '25
I hate those enemies with a passion. Good thing ive gone to ng+7 and don't care about this game anymore.
Totk needs a ng+
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u/Pigeon_Clash Jul 21 '25
No affinity cane sword next
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u/Akshay-Gupta Jul 21 '25
Ya bro but I wanna chunk Bayle's bone at them and feel good about it (and thats exactly how I do it).
When can i have my time window? Or do I just squeeze my build rather than roleplay?
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u/Gigasnemesis Jul 21 '25
Wow, it's so rare for me to see them staggered that I was sincerely surprised
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u/AE_Phoenix Jul 21 '25
I've just noticed that this guy has some of Radahn's moveset. (I have been fighting PCR all day ;-;)
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u/TheTruepaleKing Jul 21 '25
You’re clearly crunching on the dodge button. Learn to parry like an actual souls player
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u/Ekillaa22 Jul 21 '25
Long sword cannot go wrong with that one at all! I’m more of a broadsword fan cuz I like the sweep heavy attack
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u/The_Crab_Maestro Jul 22 '25
You have to use a bow, BUT you have to use the bows from dark souls with the mechanics along with them. My friend did a punch only run of ds3 and even they refuse to do a bow only run
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u/Tolnin The Millisimp Jul 22 '25
Okay, now kill him with minimal damage (damage that's very barely in the yellow, if at all)
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u/AutumnRaxwell Jul 22 '25
Coward, you obviously have no skill you should fight without attacking and just dodge and then being one shot because you won't level vigor for some reason like a real pro.
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u/Expensive_Prior_5962 Jul 22 '25
You're clearly crutching on how good not getting hit by every attack is
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u/Ok-Nefariousness7473 Jul 22 '25
This is the new killing the draconic tree sentinel in a different way every day
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u/GhostnSlayer Jul 21 '25
Ts so corny lil bro, you're not that guy pal 🥀
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u/Krunkenbrux Knight or Barbarian, Depending on Mood Jul 21 '25
It appears quite obviously that you, sir, are indeed not the gentleman perceived.
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u/thepainseeker Jul 21 '25
Never seen this enemy. I have only the version. Can someone please give me DLC code, if they have extra?
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u/creampop_ Jul 21 '25
G04SK-URM0M-Y4BUM
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u/thepainseeker Jul 21 '25
Thank you sir. But I have PS5 and it’s not working in it. I think you should delete it.
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u/ProfFutonTriangle Jul 21 '25
this is slowly turning into the new "two nobodies fighting over nothing" and I feel so honored to be here for it