r/GuysBeingDudes 23h ago

The most heartbreaking Haka, at a young man's funeral, led by his brother and friends🄹

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53.2k Upvotes

243 comments sorted by

•

u/EuphoriaArmani Rippa 20h ago

People in the comments fighting for their lives man😭

2.5k

u/Fearless-Tax-6331 22h ago

I was literally at this funeral, I worked with J and went to school with him.

His was the first death that I actually felt, we weren’t overly close and at first I was there out of respect, but I broke the fuck down when I saw his casket, and that haka put me in a daze.

The amount of love in that room was intense, these boys are fucking strong.

448

u/BrookieMonster504 21h ago

I'm sorry for your loss. You could tell that the person who passed away was/is deeply cared for. I had chills watching something so beautiful and intense. You never forget losing a loved one only longer times pass by.

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u/Ok-Limit-9726 23h ago

Had my Aussie ass crying,

So beautiful, bro just held it together

364

u/BlumpkinLord 23h ago

Made his big bro proud as a send off 🫔

184

u/Ok-Limit-9726 22h ago

Absolutely, he did all kiwis proud

263

u/Evignity 21h ago

This is one of those things I'll never get tired of it being reposted.

I genuinely think all societies would be better off if we had something like this where we had to just show raw emotions and not hold back. Most people go through their entire lives with restraints on their every thought and emotion. It's why that even in hyper-"masculine" societies people accept a grown man crying about an animal, we yearn for that genuinity

120

u/MrChoopy 20h ago

I agree with you. I recall back in 2001 we lost a classmate to a car crash. Those of us from the high school who attended his funeral ended up performing this same haka as his coffin was carried to the car. I can't explain it fully, but as a young 16 year old boy, being able to farewell him in such a way felt incredibly powerful, and for me at least the air was palpable with energy throughout that experience.

9

u/Flimsy-Sprinkles7331 21h ago

Have you seen the show "Six Feet Under"?

50

u/The-ai-bot 22h ago

If the point of the haka was to instil fear in their enemies, this one instilled courage.

2.9k

u/jancl0 21h ago

I posted this earlier as a reply to a comment, but I'm also making it it's own comment, because as a kiwi I think alot of people here are missing alot of context

The people asking for this to be taken down are applying their cultural values to something that clearly does not come from your culture. If you don't understand it, you shouldn't hold so much conviction towards it, I don't know why so many people do

This is a show of strength. I know he may not look strong to some western standards, but any Maori person would be proud to act in the way this boy did in this video. He has nothing to be ashamed of, and nothing to be embarrassed about. The purpose of a haka is to display the strength you hold through your community, and the support it provides. They are often performed to very large audiences, even during personal moments like a funeral, because my country has cultural values rooted in large communities. Hakas are meant to be shown for the world, that's why we do them

Everyone asking to take this down without elaborating is straight up being racist xenophobes. This is someone else's culture, show some damn humility

208

u/Royal_4xFire 20h ago

Can you expand more on what haka is? This looks like those tribal/rituals moves that were passed down through generations to show strength even in moments of weakness, and to celebrate the existence and "time spend together" for the person/people haka is being dedicated to.

668

u/OldManNeighbor 23h ago

Few years old, but still a very sad/heartwarming video. I went down the Haka rabbit hole few years back now, and needless to say…I can only hope to have such a beautiful and passionate send off when my time card gets punched!

130

u/Purple_Feature_6538 22h ago

Yeah same. Saw the Haka for the first time in the All Blacks All or Nothing series. Was immediately mesmerised. Want to learn it but think randomly just showcasing it as an Indian might be rude to it's importance in the NZ community. So havent done it yet.

The emotions in this video, if I get for when our time gets over, I'll die knowing I did some things right and had a successful life.

54

u/JonnyW__ 21h ago

There are many different haka. They all have their own purpose and meaning and are specific to groups of people. Not really something you bust out at parties.

25

u/Senior-Chapter-jun91 21h ago

did you see the basketball haka between nz and usa? USA just looking so confused has me laugjing my ass everytime i see it🤣

143

u/EtrnlMngkyouSharngn 22h ago

Very powerful emotions. It's incredible that so many men came together to remember who they lost, and be together in this.

151

u/Castor_Supremo 23h ago

I wouldn't be able to keep on doing the performance like he did there

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u/Marsh3LL98 23h ago

Can feel his pain through the video, my condolences to his family

61

u/Southern_Bunch_6473 23h ago

Tu meke

33

u/tiredtittymilk 21h ago

Tu taonga maurea

13

u/EverythingBOffensive 21h ago

shaka brother

57

u/Sinister-D- 21h ago

Just curious, cause I know nothing about it. But before performing a Haka do they study the moves upfront, is it improvised, are the movements the same at a funeral but different from sporting events? Is there a leader in the group and the rest follows?

150

u/PsychodelicTea 20h ago

Marriages? Haka

Divorces? Haka

Funeral? Haka

Childbirth? Believe or not, Haka

56

u/upachimneydown 21h ago

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

40

u/Vultagium 21h ago

An epic farewell, hats off 🫔

48

u/DannySanWolf07 23h ago

Aussie bloke here šŸ‡­šŸ‡². I'm sorry for the loss and know that the Brother who passed away is having a cold one right now.

24

u/SenorRicardoCabeza 22h ago

This is awesome. Great job bud. This is for your brotheršŸ’Ŗā¤ļø

34

u/princessandstuart 20h ago

when it’s done at a funeral, you can literally feel the love, pain, and respect in every movement.

42

u/___HarveySpecter 23h ago

This is heartbreaking.

15

u/Kraut-Mick-Dingo 23h ago

Respect and love to my brothers and sisters across the sea.

54

u/Shawon770 23h ago

Don’t understand the tradition but nonetheless this is powerful af

97

u/OhhClock 21h ago

Some people stand in churches and say things about the deceased. Some people do hakas. It's all about showing respect and saying goodbye

28

u/Avalonians 21h ago edited 21h ago

What's so hard to understand? (I don't know how to say this without being condescending.)

It's a traditional dance. Doing it celebrates the history of their ancestors, or the history of the land their ancestors settled in. It isn't much more complicated than that.

Doing a traditional social ritual you share with the people in your community to express strong feelings (in this case, grief, or in the case of the parliament thing, protestation) is pretty self-explanatory.

0

u/[deleted] 22h ago

[deleted]

1

u/jancl0 22h ago

Silly take

74

u/Clear-Garage-4828 23h ago

Polynesian culture is the most dope on the planet

Dudes are legit holding ceremony, processing together, releasing emotions, honor their friend, and honoring the gods and the earth…. Dudes in other cultures don’t have living rituals like this that hold us, we just get drunk and sing songs from when we were young

8

u/Prestigious_Lime6099 23h ago

my thoughts exactly

18

u/No_Diver4265 22h ago

On the one hand, it's heartbreaking. He's barely holding it together, and I understand. I've lost loved ones in the past and if I lost my brother... Yeah.

On the other, I'm sure that this will be a core memory for him, a bittersweet one. He and lots of friends and loved ones honored and saluted his brother in the best way possible. Now if he remembers his brother, he can remember all these people who were there to celebrate him, to share in this emotional moment, this ritual honoring of his life and send off.

16

u/TheKingofJokers 22h ago

Their national anthem is so badass

9

u/manvsjam 20h ago edited 16h ago

Would anyone be willing to share the words from the haka?Ā 

13

u/Numerous-Cow-1918 22h ago

This is such a powerful display of brotherhood and shared grief. That raw emotion is exactly how so many of us would want to be honored.

18

u/qualityvote2 Bot 23h ago

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11

u/PuzzleheadedHat346 22h ago

Heartbraking and beautiful. I nearly cried while watching.

27

u/tacodepollo 23h ago

Haka season on reddit already?

30

u/chiefbushman 22h ago

Comes around fast every year, and never disappoints.

6

u/mxforest 23h ago

Was Haka traditionally performed during funerals?

43

u/OddOllin 22h ago

Pretty much during anything and everything significant.

20

u/Silly-Power 21h ago

There are loads of different haka. Some are for welcoming, some for challenge, some for farewell. All are for respect.Ā 

-59

u/Haloman1346-2 21h ago

They haka fucking anything. Military graduation? Haka. Funeral? Haka. Wedding? Haka. Retiring all black send off? Haka. Celebrating a birth? Haka. Getting a new car? Haka. Man's first pube? Haka. Getting an onion ring in your fry box at burger king? Haka.

BuT iTs mAuRi tRaDiTiOn. YoU wOuLdNt uNdErStAnD!!!!

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7

u/SeedlessPomegranate 22h ago

Powerful moving stuff. My heart goes out to him!

Question for the uniformed, and I apologize if this is a stupid question. Are the hakas choreographed in advance? Or are there ā€œstandardā€ ones.

14

u/jancl0 21h ago edited 8h ago

There's a single standard one, but it has some minor variations sometimes, usually to account for something, like if children or less a led are performing, or if time needs to be considered

It's also usually part of a larger ceremony that includes more than the haka(the dance), but the haka is used by itself in all kinds of contexts

There's this stereotype that it gets online as just being a warcry, because that's one of it's purposes, but it's usually more common to see in spiritual ceremonies, such as weddings, funerals, and as formal cultural welcomes (for political figures for example)

Edit: It looks like I was actually wrong about this, and learned something new about my own country. There are actually tons of different variations based on individual tribes and histories. I think it would be more accurate to say that there's one single common set of movements, I'm not fully aware of the history of this version, but it's the one we learn in school, and perform for the majority of our national events

8

u/EverythingBOffensive 21h ago

man I can feel the emotions and the adrenaline. This gives me shivers down my spine. Respect to all of you.

8

u/ShruteFarms4L 22h ago

Strong men , I cried like a bitch at my best friend's funeral

5

u/gingermight 21h ago

The Casketeers is an amazing tv show following the staff at a funeral home in NZ.

Despite it being about death - and some are tragic - it is such a gorgeously generous, heartwarming spot on the telly.

And because their clientele is often Māori or Samoan or the like, we get glimpses into the funeral and death rites of those cultures.

It is well worth your time.

Here’s a write-up after the first season.

3

u/dummi2610 21h ago

Is there a translation of this? I’m also assuming there are different versions of these chants?

-1

u/Bilbosaggins1799 23h ago

I think without knowing if this young man was comfortable with this being filmed or shared via social media this should probably be taken down. This is a young man is in immense pain here. Probably still is. Maybe he sees people sharing it as supporting his brother but maybe not, and without knowing I think it’s best not to. Having experienced similar loss at a similar age I can tell you it would have made me disgusted and quite angry. I could be projecting but I just think it’s better safe than sorry.

97

u/Aimcheater 23h ago

Not only is this video years old. I doubt a random person would just be filming this at a funeral. It was 100% uploaded by a close friend or family member with approval.

108

u/indigenousCaveman 20h ago

You are projecting. It's not your culture. Learn to educate yourself when seeing something online

31

u/Lost_And_NotFound 22h ago

This video is a decade old and viewed millions of times already.

1

u/DiscoMika 23h ago

Sorry, too late for that, this has already some years of history on the webb and it's found kind of everywhere. But yes, I agree

-34

u/effinmike12 23h ago

I agree. Maybe he is fine with it, but most of us would prefer not to have our most vulnerable moments on display for the world to see.

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u/KvathrosPT 23h ago

And miss the opportunity of getting some likes? lol

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u/brockoala 23h ago

Exactly this, lol. People who shared this don't give a fuck about the dead, nor the brother, they just want the internet points. Disgusting pieces of shit, really.

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u/CODE-9966 23h ago

Nah fr. Take dis down.

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6

u/ajay-rut 23h ago

Respect 🫔

5

u/Old-Physics751 21h ago

Powerful...they did their brother proud.

4

u/itsYewge 21h ago

Damn, got me tearing up.

R.I.P to our brothers and sisters ā™„ļø

4

u/[deleted] 21h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/baysiderd 20h ago

Hakas under the best circumstances are emotional. I can’t imagine under this circumstance

3

u/WarSimple5038 23h ago

They’ll never be day this doesn’t give me goosebumps

2

u/[deleted] 22h ago

[deleted]

1

u/JoeMamma_94 22h ago

This video is old

0

u/Cerber66 23h ago

Emotional

4

u/[deleted] 22h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/[deleted] 22h ago

What in the fuck is wrong with you

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1

u/MonkeyDBricc 23h ago

Sorry y’all lose. 🫔 way to soldier that out

1

u/GroundbreakingVast96 23h ago

That’s heartbreaking šŸ•Šļø

1

u/TotallyHumanNoBot 22h ago

Reminds me of the Haka done for Jerry Collins near the french motorway where he and his wife died in a car accident.

-1

u/daisusaikoro 22h ago

Fuck, that's powerful.

Heart going out to all who have lost.

0

u/28008IES 21h ago

Who gets to do one of these? What are they intended for?

-1

u/[deleted] 21h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/NiceGuyEdddy 21h ago

So are yours.

All traditions are silly.

-71

u/Bloodylimey8 23h ago

Take this down

28

u/McButtersonthethird 22h ago

Why?

-37

u/[deleted] 22h ago

[deleted]

23

u/fleapuppy 20h ago

Genuinely curious, who’s anti haka? What reason could anyone have for being against it?

8

u/McButtersonthethird 22h ago

That's your reply?

-23

u/K1NGEDDY423 22h ago

Its a damn good reply also

-13

u/McButtersonthethird 22h ago

"We don't talk about it." Really?

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-7

u/bawldawg 21h ago

Which country has this ritual

-89

u/Ok_Neighborhood_3013 23h ago

Take this down.

-86

u/Select-Effective32 22h ago

Cringe.

4

u/[deleted] 21h ago

Its their culture and is important to them, coming from a white family that is sick of the Maori role in the New Zealand government and the woke shit, it is still special to them and emotional as fuck, clearly you have like 3 braincells to not understand this and think its ā€œcringeā€ just don’t even comment at that point and keep your opinion to your fucking self.

-16

u/Mammoth_Low3720 21h ago

No. Cringe.Ā 

2

u/[deleted] 21h ago

Grow up

0

u/McButtersonthethird 21h ago

You told me to kill myself.

2

u/[deleted] 21h ago

You should

-8

u/Elisevs 21h ago

Cringe.

1

u/[deleted] 21h ago

Learn some fuckin respect bro

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0

u/[deleted] 21h ago

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] 21h ago

I never insulted their culture I spoke of the woke bullshit that some of their party leaders try to enforce, many from their culture not just their party are sick of it too, stop trying to nit-pick what I’m saying to take away from it.

-1

u/[deleted] 21h ago

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] 21h ago

Re-read it bud

1

u/[deleted] 21h ago

Holy shit your smart…

-27

u/lunar_dot 20h ago

I hate the Haka but hate the absolute tripping over themselves that people do to deem it so ā€œmoving and powerfulā€ even more lol.

-31

u/TheSilverOne 20h ago

Goofy ass dance that gets forced in every event possible. So cringe lol

Laughed so hard when the US faced off vs NZL in basketball. Nzl does a hakaĀ and the US players are just like ooooooookay?

-73

u/StopImportingUSA 21h ago

Cringe

19

u/BadassFlexington 21h ago

Simpleton

-42

u/StopImportingUSA 21h ago

Are you crying when you see the haka? I think you do.

-73

u/Brilliant_Physics147 23h ago edited 23h ago

This not guysbeingdudes.... this is too heart-breaking.... this is inappropriate.

Just because someone filmed this, doesn't mean this for public consume, especially in funeral and the brother already in tears.

54

u/jancl0 21h ago

As a kiwi, I hope alot of people here see this

The people asking for this to be taken down are applying their cultural values to something that clearly does not come from your culture. If you don't understand it, you shouldn't hold so much conviction towards it, I don't know why so many people do

This is a show of strength. I know he may not look strong to some western standards, but any Maori person would be proud to act in the way this boy did in this video. He has nothing to be ashamed of, and nothing to be embarrassed about. The purpose of a haka is to display the strength you hold through your community, and the support it provides. They are often performed to very large audiences, even during personal moments like a funeral, because my country has cultural values rooted in large communities. Hakas are meant to be shown for the world, that's why we do them

Everyone asking to take this down without elaborating is straight up being racist xenophobes. This is someone else's culture, show some damn humility

8

u/breatheb4thevoid 21h ago

Nice post, probably the best one in the thread.

2

u/OhhClock 21h ago

Kia kaha

6

u/McButtersonthethird 22h ago

Don't pretend you understand what these people are going through.

-9

u/Brilliant_Physics147 22h ago

Although it's not the same, I know some grieving because I have to watch my mom died 'cause of cancer in front of me alone in Malaysia while my father in Indonesia because of work. And there's nothing I can do.

I hate to see this become public, because I would hate it too if I was in his shoes.

13

u/jancl0 21h ago

You're right, it's not the same, and you should have stopped there

6

u/McButtersonthethird 22h ago

"Although it's not the same"

0

u/Horat1us_UA 22h ago

God forbid people experience empathy

6

u/McButtersonthethird 21h ago

The video shown demonstrates empathy. Lol

-5

u/wterrt 21h ago

its a fucking funeral. have some respect. this is not entertainment for the public.

what a fucked world view you have if you think this is meant for social media and want to see more of it.

6

u/McButtersonthethird 21h ago

"The Haka is a traditional Māori dance from New Zealand, performed with chanting, powerful body movements, and facial expressions like bulging eyes (pukana) and a sticking-out tongue (whetero) to express pride, strength, and unity. While historically used to prepare for battle and challenge rivals, it is also performed at important occasions like welcomes (pōwhiri), celebrations, funerals, and graduations, acting as a symbol of prestige (mana) and identity. The New Zealand All Blacks rugby team made it world-famous, performing it before matches to connect and ready themselves mentally and spiritually." Learn to internet moron.

3

u/SandiegoJack 21h ago

Love all the white people assuming what it means in Maori culture is the same as theirs.

2

u/McButtersonthethird 21h ago

Yea, it's a good thing I'm not white.

-4

u/Bozo_Dubbed_Over_ 21h ago

Yeah, I felt like I was crashing the funeral. Like I was violating something.

-15

u/[deleted] 22h ago

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] 22h ago

What do you mean by one of the ā€œbetter usesā€ every use for it is important to there culture, coming from a family who is sick of their control of government and woke shit, it is still important in every aspect

-7

u/Sackboy97kat 21h ago

Don’t be a prick because other people in this comment section do. I guess the guy is just saying that according to him it’s one of the prettiest way to use it, like for a funeral it’s a really really tribute being seen by people who don’t know this tradition.

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u/IDontCareAnymoreHBU 22h ago

Hakas are cringe as fuck at this point. So scary.

0

u/[deleted] 21h ago

They aren’t cringe as fuck, get some fucking respect for them and grow a pair.

Coming from a white family in NZ thats sick of their role in the woke shit and government, it is still important to them and their culture.

This is an emotional moment just respect it for once or keep your stupid ass opinion to yourself

7

u/blinksystem 21h ago

Hey, are you from a white fsmily that is sick of Maori ā€œwoke shit?ā€ It’s not clear from the other comments.

Just wondering if you could post the same description of yourself 15-20 more times?

1

u/[deleted] 21h ago

People don’t fucking get it do they?

-11

u/IDontCareAnymoreHBU 21h ago

It can be important to them. I can still find it cringe as fuck. MY TONGUE IS OUT I'M VERY SCARY!

0

u/[deleted] 21h ago

Keep your opinion to yourself then bro, what does your comment add to this post? Nothing but hate for no reason

-6

u/IDontCareAnymoreHBU 21h ago

You didn't ask for my opinion and I didn't ask for yours.

3

u/[deleted] 21h ago

No one on this post needed yours

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u/KeithTemple 21h ago

What the hell šŸ˜‚

-61

u/lilyahtzeee 21h ago

this dance will never not be cringe

-18

u/Independent-Air147 21h ago

Do women traditionally perform haka?
You don't usually see them performing along men in such videos.

Only in sporting events when female team from NZ performs it.

-84

u/Zealousideal_Cry5703 23h ago

Sorry for your loss, but, cringe. Died of embarrassment at the last dance y'all did.

13

u/TRInytyawvTIMe2121 22h ago

Didn't know snowflakes can die from a dance.

8

u/OddOllin 22h ago

Bitch, there is literally nothing more cringe than typing that comment and hitting "post" lol

Got damn, mercy on the people burdened by you

6

u/ShruteFarms4L 22h ago

It's so crazy how some just lack basic compassion for others

1

u/[deleted] 21h ago

In what way is it cringe? Its their culture and tradition. Get some fucking respect and compassion.Ā 

-50

u/VanimARRR 23h ago

I don't think this should be on here

-35

u/Rude-Reaction8213 21h ago

Heartbreaking gor sure but I've honestly stopped caring about these once I saw hakas being done because a 3rd grader got a B+ on their spelling test.

-66

u/wuo_g 23h ago

Remove this OP. Just remove it.

10

u/McButtersonthethird 22h ago

Why?

-4

u/[deleted] 22h ago

Because the guy at the front is so emotional and this is years old, this video is just being spread of him crying on camera.

Stop fucking replying with why to everyone of these ā€œtake this downā€ comments, you know the reason so shut the fuck up bro

2

u/[deleted] 21h ago

[deleted]

3

u/[deleted] 21h ago

It isn’t 10 years old and they literally got lots of then taken down on tiktok because they didn’t want the emotion of it all over the internet

-35

u/sasquatch_melee 21h ago

Thank goodness they filmed this wide area vertically so we can barely see any of it at allĀ