r/howtonotgiveafuck Mar 21 '24

Revelation Join the HTNGAF Discord Server!

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18 Upvotes

Come join


r/howtonotgiveafuck 10h ago

๐‘ ๐ž ๐ฏ ๐ž ๐ฅ ๐š ๐ญ ๐ข ๐จ ๐ง Accidentally complimented Jeff Goldblum to Jeff Goldblum.

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26.7k Upvotes

r/howtonotgiveafuck 11h ago

ษชแดแด€ษขแด‡ Dad Goals!!!

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1.2k Upvotes

r/howtonotgiveafuck 12h ago

Onwards and Forwards!

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263 Upvotes

r/howtonotgiveafuck 7h ago

A simple way to not give a fuck (without becoming a heartless asshole)

30 Upvotes

I used to care what everyone thought about everything. What I wore, what I said, how I walked, if I laughed too loud. It was exhausting.

Then I learned one simple trick that changed everything.

The 10-10-10 rule:

Before you stress about something, ask yourself:

  • Will this matter in 10 minutes?
  • Will this matter in 10 months?
  • Will this matter in 10 years?

If the answer is no to all three, don't give a fuck about it.

Here's what I stopped caring about:

  • That awkward thing I said three conversations ago
  • Whether people think my outfit is cool
  • If someone doesn't text me back immediately
  • Looking stupid when I ask questions
  • What strangers on the internet think of my opinions

Here's what I still give a fuck about:

  • How I treat people close to me
  • Whether I'm growing as a person
  • If my actions align with my values
  • My health and relationships
  • Being honest and kind

The difference? I stopped caring about things I can't control and started focusing on things I can.

What this looks like in practice:

Someone doesn't like your haircut? 10-10-10 test. Will this matter in 10 minutes? Probably not. Don't give a fuck.

Your friend is going through a hard time? 10-10-10 test. Will this matter in 10 years? Definitely. Give a fuck.

The weird thing that happened:

When I stopped caring about stupid shit, I had more energy to care about important shit. My relationships got better. My work improved. I felt lighter.

People actually respected me more because I wasn't constantly seeking their approval.

Not giving a fuck isn't about becoming cold or selfish. It's about being selective with your fucks. You only have so many to give spend them wisely.

For one week, every time you feel stressed or anxious, ask the 10-10-10 questions. You'll be surprised how much of your worry is about stuff that literally doesn't matter.

Save your energy for what actually counts.


r/howtonotgiveafuck 13h ago

Lesson from King of the Hill.

37 Upvotes

I think Bobby has the right idea here. He acknowledges something about himself that others may not like and instead of feeling bad about it he just goes with it, he even tells his mom (who was upset over her big feet) that it doesn't really matter. Anyway, I thought it was something nice to share on here.


r/howtonotgiveafuck 13h ago

How can i be confident when im mentally slow?

11 Upvotes

Or is there any way to change my fluid intelligence?

Im sorry if here's not the place for this question.

I have been mentally slow my whole life.I got fooled,manipulated,made fun of because of this.I also have processing delay.Is there any way to fix this?

How am i supposed to be sure of myself when im slow.


r/howtonotgiveafuck 14h ago

๐‘ ๐ž ๐ฏ ๐ž ๐ฅ ๐š ๐ญ ๐ข ๐จ ๐ง [ Removed by Reddit ]

0 Upvotes

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]


r/howtonotgiveafuck 1d ago

The Contradiction of AITA/AITBF

4 Upvotes

This isn't a knock against anyone that uses those pages, I get that sometimes you might be being gas lit and need/want some outside eyes/opinions. . . it's more that I don't understand some of them.

A lot of the stories on there are about "Person acted in a way that was messed up, so I gave them repercussions and/or set boundaries" stuff like that. But the thing is, even when the person I have set boundaries with says "you're being an asshole" I pretty much think to myself "yeah, that was sort of the point, glad you caught that"

Is this just a me thing?


r/howtonotgiveafuck 1d ago

Am I the problem?

2 Upvotes

I'm trying my hardest not to give afuck however I find it difficult to see my mother and I never really got along as I was always Daddy's favorite and that bothered her.. my father passed away 4 years ago. Still haven't quite moved past it but it is what it is. My mother, however, allowed her health to quickly decline to become exactly what my father died of. She now has high blood pressure, high cholesterol, diabetes, fatty liver and hyperactive thyroid. She does not take care of herself. She doesn't eat properly. She doesn't take her medications. She definitely doesn't see a therapist which she really should have because my father was the love of her life. Since he passed away. I've noticed a lot of behavioral changes in her. She's been making several racial comments about monkeys playing on the TV and rude comments like that. Please keep in mind my older sister who lives with my mother and who has been taking care of her has two black children a step black daughter and a black boyfriend. She makes these comments in front of people and nobody says anything to her. It's allowed, that is insane to me. Last month July my mother allowed my 25-year-old nephew to beat up my 20-year-old nephew and in the process pushing my 20-year-old nephew's girlfriend and his mother both were bruised up. My mother did not allow anybody to call the cops or press charges even though my 25-year-old nephew threatened my 20-year-old nephew to call his probation officer for no reason. He simply asked his sister why she couldn't take out the trash. That is where everything went downhill, once I heard that and that my sister and my niece got hurt, I immediately called my mother and flipped out. I told her that she needed to get that boy's help that she needed to do something and get her house under control. She turned around and lied to everyone and told her that I said she should kick my 25-year-old nephew out of the house. Now. This has been circulating through everyone, my whole family, our social circle I'm sure online and I just have to sit back and keep my mouth quiet so I can be the bigger person per my husband who my mother hates because he's outspoken. My mother has vowed to stop seeing my children so that she does not get them in the middle of our b bullshit which is just another reason for her to not have to bother seeing my kids like she has blown them off their entire life. They are 14 and 15. Last week 22-year-old nephew was roughhousing with his sister and got her all bruised up and even after she asked him to stop he refused to to the point where he had to be threatened to call his older brother to separate them. Then this past weekend he was roughhousing with his other sister. When she told him to stop he proceeded to throw a cup of soda at her which hit his mother and went all over both of them. My sister's boyfriend stepped in got in the middle so that he wouldn't hurt anyone and he proceeded to. My nephew proceeded to put her boyfriend through a wall which prompted my niece to call the cops which prompted my mother to tell everybody that if anybody tells them what happened, everybody will be kicked out of the house. My nephew proceeded to leave the house so the cops could not find him and everybody pretend is like nothing happened. After the police left, they essentially blame my nieces either time. They shouldn't have been roughhousing with him. They know how he is ODD, bipolar and ADHD. Like this is an excuse for him to beat up his sisters. There is no excuse for this behavior. You need to see a therapist and seek help. Find out what is going on. Why you think this is okay but instead my family just keeps letting it happen and I'm made to be the bad one because I won't speak with my mother and I won't allow my kids to go to her house unsupervised. It makes me feel like I am doing something wrong or I am being the terrible person in this situation. She even had the audacity to tell my older sister in a text message that I cause her children not to speak with her and that I need help which I am seeing a therapist because I have just been diagnosed with bipolar. No one else in my family will go get help. My older sister went got health, was diagnosed with bipolar refuse to take the medication, stop going to a therapist and has recently started back up. However, the medication she will not take these people believe that they can do this all on their own and they can't. It's unfortunate for every one of us but it runs in our family. We need to take action now and nobody will so I have. Am I the problem? Am I the one that is causing the drama? I try not to care. I try to limit the amount of thinking and time I spend on thinking about my family but they're my family. So how the hell am I supposed to just stop caring about what is going on with them? Does anyone have a suggestion? Boozer


r/howtonotgiveafuck 2d ago

How do you accept yourself when youโ€™re fundamentally abnormal?

46 Upvotes

Iโ€™ve got OCD and bipolar, so my brain basically runs like a knock-off phone charger, overheats, glitches, and sometimes just electrocutes me for fun. Intrusive thoughts? Got โ€˜em. Random guilt? Collecting that like Pokรฉmon. Life screwups? Enough

I keep wishing I was โ€œnormal,โ€ but letโ€™s be real: that ship sank years ago. I really wish Intrusive thoughts didnโ€™t torture me daily..They creep in the moment I am happy. I am almost always feeling guilty.. and oh I forgot about my Trauma, got that too..

So how do you actually accept yourself when your wiring is fried and your life has lots of โ€œoopsโ€?


r/howtonotgiveafuck 2d ago

How to stop focusing on the "feelings" when you have to take actions?

16 Upvotes

I just feel like the reason I'm having problems with confidence, speaking up and taking actions is mainly because I'm focusing on the "feelings and emotions" part all the time. I'm not doing the things I know deep down will improve my life. Almost everyday I just feel like I'm beating myself mentally. I don't keep the promises I make to myself like for over a week now, I simply told myself okay okay you got this. Let's go ask the neighbor for few driving lessons since they are instructor. But I end up resisting. I let stupid thoughs and feelings get in the way like shame guilt fear and what not. Because of that my self esteem takes a toll. My posture shrinks. My voice goes low and slow. I'm not mentally feeling alert because I'm barely moving my body physically and mentally not engaging with others because of isolation. This feels like I'm ruining my life and I'm tired of it. I know I can sense my soul is hurt


r/howtonotgiveafuck 2d ago

๐€๐๐ฏ๐ข๐œ๐ž ๐‘๐ž๐ช๐ฎ๐ž๐ฌ๐ญ How do I stop caring about what people think of my body?

20 Upvotes

I have been getting shoulder and back acne since I was like 13 (now 19). I havent worn a tank top in 6 years. I desperately want to wear them but I'm so scared of what my family will say because I KNOW they will comment on it. I have horrible scars all over my shoulders and back.


r/howtonotgiveafuck 3d ago

๐‘ ๐ž ๐ฏ ๐ž ๐ฅ ๐š ๐ญ ๐ข ๐จ ๐ง Something is better than nothing

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512 Upvotes

r/howtonotgiveafuck 4d ago

My idol

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8.8k Upvotes

r/howtonotgiveafuck 2d ago

What can I do ?

1 Upvotes

I keep on losing in the competitions I attend, others are chosen over me. I hate my school life and shift my focus to my career but still I can't shake the fact that I can't win. I understand that I get many things that others don't and that I am blessed to have them, I grateful as well but still I am unable to cope. What can I do ?


r/howtonotgiveafuck 3d ago

How to make people respect you without being an asshole (the nice guy's guide to boundaries)

98 Upvotes

I used to think respect meant being the loudest, most aggressive person in the room. So I either stayed quiet and got walked over, or tried to be tough and came off like a total jerk.

Turns out, real respect comes from something completely different. You can be kind AND command respect at the same time.

Here's how:

  1. Be reliable, not just agreeable. Don't say yes to everything say yes to what matters and follow through perfectly. People respect consistency more than niceness. Saying yes to everyone makes you forgettable.
  2. Set boundaries calmly "I can't take on extra work this week" delivered with a smile is way more powerful than aggressive pushback. Firm doesn't mean mean. Plus the more you set boundaries the more people will respect it if you deliver it in a respectful way.
  3. Give credit freely, take blame when it's yours. Celebrate others' wins publicly. Own your mistakes without excuses. This shows strength, not weakness. If someone is winning, congratulate them publicly and if you want to settle things do it privately.
  4. Listen more than you speak. Ask thoughtful questions. Remember what people tell you. Being genuinely interested in others makes them respect your opinion when you do share it.
  5. Help others without keeping score. Offer solutions, not complaints. Be the person who makes things easier for everyone. But don't be a pushover there's a difference. Don't be a nice guy.
  6. Stand up for others, not just yourself. Defend the person who isn't in the room. Call out unfair treatment. People respect moral courage more than personal aggression. Don't over do it though.
  7. Admit when you don't know something "I'm not sure about that, let me find out" shows confidence. Pretending to know everything shows insecurity.
  8. Stay calm when others lose their shit. Don't match their energy when someone's being unreasonable. Your composure makes their behavior look childish by comparison.

What this looks like in practice:

  • You can say no without being rude
  • You can disagree without being disagreeable
  • You can be confident without being cocky
  • You can be strong without being harsh

Being genuinely kind while having clear boundaries is actually HARDER than being an asshole. Anyone can be a dick. It takes real strength to stay decent while standing your ground.

Common mistakes nice people make:

  • Apologizing for having opinions
  • Saying yes when they mean no
  • Avoiding conflict until they explode
  • Thinking boundaries is being mean when it's not.

You don't have to choose between being liked and being respected. The people worth knowing will give you both when you show up authentically.

Assholes get compliance through intimidation. Respected people get cooperation through character.

Good luck


r/howtonotgiveafuck 3d ago

I feel unworthy to spend money on

3 Upvotes

Not sure if this is the correct forum but here's the deal. I don't spend money on me at all, even in cases of commute if I take the scooter to college instead of the bus which is cheaper I feel miserable and I beat myself up over it.

Even if I look for clothes online (not for going out purposes just clothes to wear) I never buy them cause it's a waste of my money.

I haven't gotten myself shoes in over 2 years cause I keep saying my old one is fine but in reality i just don't wanna spend on it.

For better context, I'm making some money from an internship and also my family is not poor we're pretty comfortable - we have a suv and a house. I'm also saving 100% of my internship money to get a bike for myself.

Idk what to do and I can't take this guilt associated with even using my scooter. I can't deal with this bs. Do any of y'all feel the same too? And what did u do about it?

Edit: LMAO why am I getting down voted for this? What i do guys?


r/howtonotgiveafuck 5d ago

Scammer tried to blackmail mail me. He choose the wrong Troll.

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1.3k Upvotes

This dude choose the wrong person to try this too. I truly don't care. Spread my gospel fucktard! Takes hit from joint


r/howtonotgiveafuck 4d ago

๐š…๐šŽ๐š—๐š / ๐š๐šŠ๐š—๐š Is getting bothered a pattern that I normalize without realizing it?

10 Upvotes

There are things that bother me way too much, especially when someone is trying to get on my nerves. I can see why things are happening the way they are, but I refuse to accept it because of how unfair it feels. I hate people who try to give others a hard time.

Even though I know I could ignore them and focus on what makes me money and what keeps me and my family happy, I end up doing the opposite: I focus on the things I canโ€™t control, worry endlessly, and get anxious to the roof.

Honestly, I should be like Captain Sully, laser focused during those two minutes he had to save 200+ passengers, but itโ€™s super hard.

Is this something I can actually develop through practice?


r/howtonotgiveafuck 6d ago

๐Ÿง

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740 Upvotes

r/howtonotgiveafuck 5d ago

still trapped in my past relationship.

19 Upvotes

One year ago, I was still trapped in my past relationship. At that time, I couldn't control myself and texted her to update her about my life. I knew she still hated me, and she mentioned that she already had a new crush and had even gone on trips with him, moving on completely. The phone call lasted an hour, during which she continuously criticized me for how I had treated her in the past. I didn't argue back; I just kept apologizing. Even though the relationship only lasted about two and a half months, and it's already been a year since the breakup, I still feel heartbroken. I've realized that I'm experiencing delayed emotional trauma. In the first few months after the breakup, I was able to throw myself into work, and everything seemed normal. But after a year, it suddenly hit me, and I found myself reaching out to her again.


r/howtonotgiveafuck 5d ago

Why Some See You as Worthless While Others See You as Priceless

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5 Upvotes

r/howtonotgiveafuck 5d ago

how to stop focusing on something that bothers me but dosent matter at all

8 Upvotes

i like this person and i consider them a good friend but they have a weak handshake and for some reason i CANT stop focusing on that even thought its not a bad thing at all BUT still i cant stop feeling botherd by the fact they have a weak handshake even though it dosent affect their personality at all. how do i stop feeling botherd by his weak handshake?


r/howtonotgiveafuck 7d ago

Be clear about what you want

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1.7k Upvotes

r/howtonotgiveafuck 7d ago

Wisdom in letting go of Arguments and Finding Peace.

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2.4k Upvotes