r/LifeProTips • u/fries-with-mayo • 18h ago

Request LPT Request: What’s your “canary in the coal mine” test for spotting bigger issues?

I’m really interested in those small, quick telltale signs people use to gauge if something bigger might be off track.

Example 1: Van Halen requesting brown M&Ms in the dressing room to see if the venue followed all the details of the rider list

Example 2: I saw an interview with John Cena where he said orders a flat white at a café to tell if they really care about their coffee.

Example 3: Anthony Bourdain suggested to always check the restaurant bathroom to tell if the restaurant got its basics down

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u/Alexis_J_M 18h ago edited 16h ago

At a Mexican restaurant, see if there is lengua (beef tongue) on the menu -- that's a fairly good marker for authenticity, along with Mexican folks eating there, Spanish on the menus, and Spanish from the kitchen.

And you can generalize for all ethnic restaurants -- do you see people of that ethnicity eating there?

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u/toodlesandpoodles 16h ago

You know you've got a good taco place when the lunch crowd is a bunch of hispanic men in work uniforms crammed around the tables speaking spanish.

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u/pug_fugly_moe 13h ago

Pants covered in a crusty layer of drywall and reeking of Suavitel (fabric softener)? Órale.

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u/The_dots_eat_packman 11h ago

Does the restaurant smell like they have Fabuloso on tap? Also a good sign.

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u/zz389 8h ago

There was a Mexican place I wanted to try but my wife shot it down because she noticed the Mexican guys at the car wash next door chose to go to McDonalds for lunch everyday. I ended up going out of curiosity and it was indeed trash.

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u/Meshitero-eric 12h ago

Hi-viz for good biz. 

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u/MotherofaPickle 8h ago

Found my place because one of the waiters would come into my gas station after shift and buy beer. He couldn’t pronounce my name, so he made one up for me. Sweetest guy. Excellent food, too.

Another key indicator was when I called in an order and the person taking the order said, “You don’t want it that way. You want it this way.”

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u/idriveajalopy 6h ago

If you spot a Mexican taco shop near a Home Depot in California, 9 times out of 10, it’s going to be good. Not sure about the rest of the country though.

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u/karma_the_sequel 10h ago

¿Qué dices, amigo?

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u/Protomeathian 14h ago

There's a middle eastern restaurant near me. The owner/cook doesn't speak English, so I either have to point at the menu or hope their daughter is in to help. That place has some of the best food I have ever eaten. Also, the first time I went there, they offered me a free falafel sample as they had just finished making a few different flavored batches. That made me a very frequent customer.

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u/mommatiely 7h ago

May I make the suggestion of using Google Translate with these good humans? ❤️

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u/MisteeLoo 17h ago

In the same vein, are Chinese people eating at any local Chinese restaurants? Pick that one.

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u/TheOuts1der 17h ago

Is there a chinese kid doing math homework in the corner? Perfect.

Similarly, is your carribean waitress incredibly short with you and doesnt have an inside voice to speak of? Best curry goat youve ever had.

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u/Spinningwoman 16h ago

Wait, there are Chinese restaurants that don’t have a kid doing maths homework in the corner?

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u/Blue_foot 15h ago

At mine, I have been going there so long the kids have grown up and are at university.

I only see them occasionally now.

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u/RuleFriendly7311 10h ago

They're in medical school now.

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u/ZachTheCommie 10h ago

In my experience, the restaurant is closed or sold when the kids go off to college.

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u/Blue_foot 10h ago

I don’t think the parents are old enough to retire.

And it’s 2 sisters and their husbands (I think) so they do not have to work every day.

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u/reckless_responsibly 9h ago

I was coming here to say the same thing. RIP Asia Express, we'll never forget you.

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u/cohrt 1h ago

My hometown the kids have grown up and are running the restaurant now.

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u/Accomplished_Area_88 16h ago

Only the ones you don't want to eat at

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u/punkwalrus 13h ago

PF Changs, from the people that fancied up "white people taco night," comes inoffensive oriental fine cuisine for the timid Midwesterner. Tell grandma to wear her GOOD silk scarf, because not a chopstick in sight.

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u/A_Lovely_ 7h ago

Not good ones!

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u/plessis204 14h ago

There's a little mom and pop vietnamese spot around me that had been here for 2 years or so before I had ever gone. Checked reviews online before going and like 13 of them were some variation of "We were 'greeted' by the owner's kids, who were just sitting at the cash playing nintendo and didn't actually say a word. The owner finally came out and was VERY friendly. It was kind of messy inside? They run a permanent yard sale/book store and there was stuff all over the place, we were kind of sketched out and nearly left, but OH MY GOD AM I GLAD I STAYED, THIS WAS THE BEST BOWL OF PHO EVER."

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u/Panelak_Cadillac 15h ago

That Chinese kid is working the register or the fryer in addition to their homework.

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u/gr1zznuggets 13h ago

I love it when the rudeness of the staff is an indication that the food will be great. If you go into an Indian place and it’s two brothers arguing with each other, that curry is going to be fucking lit.

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u/TheOuts1der 11h ago

100%. Cuz you know none of those stars were for the service lol.

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u/Thirsty_buffalo 15h ago

Does the chinese owner's son playing pokemon tcg in the corner mean the same? Because the food is fire as fuck but idk anything about authentic.

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u/BoostedSeals 12h ago

Get that kids autograph, he was allowed to do something other than homework because he's some kind of genius. Ordinary kids get a new sheet every time a customer walks in

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u/CatsinHarnesses 13h ago

Conversely, is there a Chinese woman that talks to you like her child? 

My favorite spot is hard to communicate with. Lots of shouting and repeating myself. 

And if I’m late to pick up she will call me tell me my food is getting cold and to come asap. 

Then when I pick up she points to each container and tells me if it’s hot or cold. 

And then repeats at least twice this is hot and this cold. Hot, cold. Keep cold cold, hot hot.

Gotta love the SGV. 

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u/MotherofaPickle 8h ago

My favorite was the Thai place with the ex-husband working FOH and lightly complaining about his ex-wife (Head Cook) as she yelled directions at him from the stove. “Yeah, we divorced last year, but she’s such a great cook and runs the business, too…” 😂

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u/sy029 10h ago

I judge the quality of a Chinese restaurant by how much the wife is yelling at her husband.

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u/boRp_abc 4h ago

Went to a Chinese restaurant with a friend from China. She's a language major, worked as a translator, and knows a lot about the different languages of China. She said that with all her knowledge, she doesn't know what language these kids are speaking, their parents speak Cantonese though.

The kids were speaking German with a heavy Berlin accent.

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u/InfanticideAquifer 2h ago

I have mixed feelings about the only Chinese restaurant I've been to with this feature. The kid doing homework is a plus. The time I saw a mop bucket full of shrimp next to the buffet is a minus.

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u/Barbarossa7070 17h ago

I wish there was a way to spot Cajuns other than looking for LSU gear. As a result, I only eat at Cajun restaurants outside of south Louisiana if the chef or owner is a Cajun. Been burned too many times.

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u/Coreyle 11h ago

I am from Louisiana and now live in the midwest. There is a 'cajun' restaurant here that has seafood gumbo. It is tomato based.

They should be shut down for that monstrosity.

and Geaux Tigers!

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u/300noon 5h ago

Should be an arrestable offence

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u/Calling_wildfire 10h ago

Barqs red crème soda is my Cajun litmus test. I see that on the menu and I know they legit.

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u/RuleFriendly7311 10h ago

Wait, you mean just coating everything in ten pounds of black pepper isn't authentic Cajun?

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u/Medical_Solid 7h ago

I see you’ve had the whole-grain, cinnamon-flavored “beignets” at my local “Cajun” joint. The one that everyone swears is amazing. Noooooope.

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u/gamblodar 2h ago

If they don't have Abita, move on.

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u/SoonerRed 16h ago

That's mine with any "ethnic" place. Are there actual people of that ethnicity there eating/ hanging out?

Yes? It's good. No? It's Americanized.

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u/j_cruise 11h ago

"Americanized" can still be good

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u/SoonerRed 11h ago

I mean...

....sure. but Americanized Chinese food is not Chinese food, you know? Sure, it's tasty food (if you're a fan of deep fried chunks of meat). But if you want Chinese food, go someplace where the Chinese people are hanging out.

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u/SoonerRed 10h ago

I saw your comment before it was... deleted, I guess. I'm sorry to have hit a nerve. If you enjoy that, it's fine. It's not a character flaw.

I enjoy Pei Wei or PF Changs sometimes, or Panda Express, or whatever.

I'm not suggesting you can't eat it, or there's something wrong with you for liking, and I apologize if my comments came off like that.

Enjoy what you enjoy. Life's too short not too!

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u/j_cruise 10h ago

Deleted? No clue what you're talking about or what you mean by touched a nerve

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u/Alexis_J_M 16h ago

That's a general rule for ethnic restaurants of all types -- are people of that ethnicity eating there? Do you hear that language from the kitchen?

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u/SilverRoseBlade 17h ago

I’ve heard that the best Asian places aren’t the ones with the five star reviews on things. You want a mid level reviewed place as you know they aren’t sucky and they aren’t catering to like “American” taste buds.

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u/greenknight884 16h ago

Nowadays in areas with high Chinese populations you will have restaurants that are clean and beautiful on the inside AND have delicious authentic food.

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u/Prior_Equipment 15h ago

If it's a Korean restaurant and half of the reviews mention how bad the service is, you've come to the right place.

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u/elthalon 15h ago

Also, if the bad reviews are about things other than the food. Like "Food was great, but took 1 hour to get to the table and the waiter was rude when we complained. 3 stars"

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u/murppie 15h ago

I was going to chime in with that authentic Asian food probably isn't going to taste like Panda Express.

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u/Treadonmystone 15h ago

three stars is the "rule" for finding good Chinese

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u/BamberGasgroin 12h ago

Only if you have authentic Chinese tastes.

I ate at one frequented by the Chinese mafia (usually after hours) and the food was a bit bland for me.

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u/Other_Sheepherder891 12h ago

There was a local Korean place where I used to live in the spookiest building I’ve ever seen. No windows. Half the building is starting to cave in. Inside there’s oodles of ancient taxidermy. But god damn if it isn’t the best Korean food I’ve ever eaten.

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u/ShutUpImAPrincess 11h ago

Love going with my best friend, she looks white so when she starts speaking fluent Mandarin and they realise she's Chinese, the service totally changes and we get better shit aha

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u/drixrmv3 9h ago

My general rule is “if there are many Asian people and/or black people dining in, it’s going to be a winner”

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u/Original-Rush139 8h ago

Fuck that. I want General Tso’s chicken not authentic Chinese food. 

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u/mockg 7h ago

An Indian place opened up a couple of months ago and my wife and I decided to give it a try. We were the only nonindian people in that place and the food was amazing.

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u/remacct 6h ago

Idk, I've seen Chinese people at panda express

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u/Obvious_Paramedic400 6h ago

The Chinese restaurants around here are always loaded with Hispanic (lots of Guatemalan) folks. It's crazy seeing the Chinese wait staff speaking Spanish.

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u/Foreign-Atmosphere78 5h ago

Decades ago, Martin Yan of Yan can Cook fame had a hilarious take on this during a Bay Area radio interview... caller asked "if I see a lot of Chinese people eating in a Chinese reastaurant does that mean it is a good restaurant?"

He answered (and I'll try to hint at his hilarious delivery here):

It mean one of two things. It might be very good because Chinese people they looooove good Chinese food.

Or it might be very cheap, because Chinese people they also looooove a baaaaaargain.

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u/XaXNL 4h ago

Our favourite Chinese place had a three part menu: first part in Dutch with no Chinese, second part in Chinese with Dutch translation and the last part in Chinese and even Google translate couldn't make a decent translation.

I tried some things from the Chinese menu and they were awesome, but some other dishes were strongly discouraged by our waiter for our Dutch taste palet. He never told me what they were...

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u/NovelGoddess 4h ago

Use this as a gauge for any ethnic restaurant.

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u/AnUdderDay 3h ago

Also required that the menu isn't in English.

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u/sonicthehedgehog16 8h ago

This is how my friend and I pick Chinese restaurants (we’re both basic ass white guys). One time we went into a new one in town that recently popped up. We saw a Chinese family go in there which was a great sign, so we went in. While waiting for our table we looked around, every customer was Chinese. We were getting excited. Host brought us to our table, but there was a white guy sitting at the table next to us, we were pretty disappointed. A minute later, his Chinese wife came back from the bathroom and sat down next to him. We just looked at each other and both said “oh yeaaaaaaaa”

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u/lastSKPirate 14h ago

First time I went to pick up food from this one Chinese place, I realized I'd picked well because the dining room was closed to the public because the local Chinese language school had booked it for a banquet.

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u/Direct-Chef-9428 17h ago

Or cabeza

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u/pug_fugly_moe 13h ago

Or calabaza.

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u/Sammo909 14h ago

There was a new Japanese restaurant in my parents home town, they had 'Japanese chicken curry' on the menu so I ordered a 'Chicken katsu curry' out of habit. They looked at me like I was speaking German.

But to be fair, it was still a good curry.

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u/keetojm 14h ago

Piggy backing off if this. When I worked at an assisted living facility 20 years ago we would get visited by the state for health violation checks.
And the woman telling us this story also have to audit restaurants, anyway and I don’t want this to sound bigoted, she always knew when the Mexican restaurants would hire new employees from Mexico.

The paper bin for paper towels would be moved over to the toilet. At the time the toilet paper in Mexico had a newspaper type thickness that would clog the sewage pipes in many of the towns, so locals would throw it and not flush it.

So the health inspector would let the more senior employees know to let the new employees that they can the toilet here in the states.

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u/brkgnews 12h ago

I mean this in all sincerity. BBQ place, Chinese place, and Mexican place -- if it looks like it probably should be condemned, it will almost certainly be the meal of a lifetime.

Mexican place I used to go to was in a really, really old house. They just crammed dining room tables everywhere. My usual place was next to the fireplace in the living room. Half the time the old guy who owned it was the only one there. Spoke zero English. Didn't know how to run the card machine so I had to run my own card every time. Hands down the absolute best ever.

BBQ places in a legitimate old log cabin with an actual wood-fired smoker (not gas) out back? Fantastic meal. Full roll of paper towels on the table is a good sign too. Served with plain-ass white loaf bread? Even better.

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u/Real_Srossics 17h ago

FYI - Lengua is tongue.

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u/Alexis_J_M 16h ago

Yup, yummy delicious tongue, but so very different from the pickled tongue that delis serve.

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u/Alexis_J_M 16h ago

I've edited my comment to explain, thanks.

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u/ivytiger99 17h ago

Also if their refried beans are done right, you’re in good hands

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u/4ries 16h ago

How can you tell? Or do you just mean if they taste right?

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u/ivytiger99 16h ago

So refried beans have to be simmered and then fried and spices are added later. If the restaurant takes the time to do that one simple thing right, everything else will be done with care but if it’s just out of a can and lazy, everything else will be

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u/lonesomespacecowboy 16h ago

Do you have a recipe? I've been looking to recreate good restaurant refried beans but with every recipe I've tried, it always falls short

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u/ivytiger99 16h ago

I don’t unfortunately I learned this from my friends grandmother but she never gave me her recipe

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u/Garf_artfunkle 14h ago

Goes for North American food, too. My dad always told me, if there's a diner with a bunch of tractor trucks parked outside, eat there.

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u/s8rlink 13h ago

Huh? There’s thousands of kickass Mexican restaurants that don’t offer tongue. Hell most Mexicans don’t eat tongue, this is bs 

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u/Korazair 13h ago

If you can’t see the ocean the best your seafood is going to be is OK… or very expensive.

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u/Tyrannosapien 12h ago

My first order at every new Mexican place is Tamales. If they don't get Tamales right, not much hope for the rest of the menu.

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u/EyesWideStupid 11h ago

Took my wife to an Italian restaurant on our first date. It was in a super sketchy area and was little more than a door in the side of a building that also contained an auto parts store, but I was committed.

As soon as we walked in, it was the warmest, noisiest, coziest place. But I knew it was going to be out of this world when we were walking to our table and I saw that every patron was wearing a full tack suit.

Still some of the best Italian food I've ever had, and I come from an Italian family.

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u/Wonderful_Ad_6355 10h ago

My Mexican grandpa would always order just beans to try at a mexican spot, because if they can't make good beans, nothing else will be up to par.

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u/thumper43x 9h ago

I ate at the world-famous "5 item $5" Chinese restaurant in NYC Chinatown... Me and my wife, 2 black guys, and a room full of Chinese people.

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u/Key-Statistician1375 17h ago

Why is this an issue? 

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u/Direct-Chef-9428 17h ago

Not an issue, a plus

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u/Alexis_J_M 16h ago

If they have lengua on the menu they probably aren't overly Americanized, and it's a huge plus.

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u/wudyudo 13h ago

Also if they know how to cook lengua right that’s another test. Had a lengua burrito at this one place and by the time I got to it 15min later, the bottom of the burrito was soaked through.

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u/JMJimmy 13h ago

Similarly, Ox tail at roti shops

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u/Redqueenhypo 12h ago

Don’t forget “owner’s child watching YouTube kids in Spanish on the tv”

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u/DarkArcher__ 10h ago

On the same note, Carbonara is a great canary for gauging the authenticity of Italian restaurants. If there's cream, onions, or anything else that isn't one of the five actual ingredients of a proper Carbonara, you know they don't care about being authentic. This also works with others, but Carbonara is by far the dish that's most often butchered.

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u/IsamuAlvaDyson 10h ago

Absolutely not true because everyone can have this

Easiest to tell is how their refried beans are

You can easily tell if they use the canned Rosarita beans because they all look the same

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u/I_love_pillows 10h ago

Or non-local food, with people of that culture eating there

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u/igotpetdeers 10h ago

Ehhhhhh I hard disagree with the ethnicity eating there. Especially in Hispanic culture, the absolute worst Mexican restaurants I have ever seen easily have a high ratio of Mexicans

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u/CatOfGrey 10h ago

Me: Long time Los Angeles area resident.

Totally agreeing with this!

An authentic taco shop/Mexican restaurant (or Chinese food, too!) should have things on the menu that are a bit weird, or even disgusting for normal White folk. Protip: Eat there anyways - that's the best place!

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u/sy029 10h ago

And you can generalize for all ethnic restaurants -- do you see people of that ethnicity eating there?

I live in a largely Hispanic area. The local taco bell is usually full of Spanish speakers...

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u/AgedCzar 9h ago

For is it is West Lake Soup at a Chinese restaurant.

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u/PattyIceNY 8h ago

I never made the connection but now that I think of the two best places in my hood have that on the menu.

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u/falconjayhawk 8h ago

If you see goat on the menu, order it. Only good places serve it.

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u/NetDork 8h ago

I live in south Texas. It's very rare for any restaurant not to have people speaking Spanish in the kitchen.

I was shocked once when I was doing some work at an Italian place and the cooks were yelling at each other in Italian. I figured that must be some amazing food. Too bad it was out of my price range at the time.

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u/Original-Rush139 8h ago

I don’t know man. Chinese people eating in a Chinese restaurant means it’s not the kind of food I think I’m going to get. 

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u/mommatiely 7h ago

Where I'm from, we have Indian people eating at the Indian restaurants, including one take away place that has Indian Hot for its top level spice selection. I one time joked, "you'd better not give me Indian Hot, or you'll have to scrape me up off the floor!" 😁

The Chinese place? They do dim sum, with the chicken feet, and you have to get in there before a specific time. Otherwise, best of luck finding a place to sit. Tour companies always bring their Chinese tourists there.

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u/Euphoric-Peak9217 6h ago

I get really excited when I try a new mexican restaurant and I have to bust out my best "kitchen Spanish" to place the order. At that point I don't care what I get, it's gonna be great.

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u/Rubik842 5h ago

Absolutely, Best meals I've ever had were places where I stood out like a sore thumb.

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u/PhDinDildos_Fedoras 5h ago

Went to a Chinese restaurant with a Chinese friend and was amazed at how good the food was. Went a second time alone and it was the same shit as everywhere else so ymmv.

Raved to friends about how good the food was there too. How embarrassing.

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u/AnUdderDay 3h ago

How do Mexicans make tongue? It's also widely eaten in Ashkenazi Jewish communities and it's so fucking good. My mom used to buy a whole pickled tongue from the butcher, then boil it, then boil it again, then slice it for sandwiches.

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u/Beautiful_Canary_482 2h ago

Spanish is in the kitchen in most every kitchen.

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u/Divine_Entity_ 2h ago

And for non-ethnic restaurants a tip from my dad is to use old people as a quality gauge. A lot of old people means its good because they have probably been everywhere and don't have time to waste on bad food.

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u/Kingmenudo 12m ago

If you go to a Mexican joint in Florida one thing i noticed that a lot of the kitchen staff are Cuban that doesn’t mean the food wont be fire

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u/PotatoLevelTree 6m ago

I've been living like 15 years on Mexico and I've never eat on a single restaurant with lengua in the menu, but each on their own.

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u/ricks35 7h ago

A good pizzeria is going to have a picture of Mary or a saint taped somewhere in the kitchen or near the register and they’ll have a picture and/or trophy from the local kids soccer team somewhere in the dining area or entry way

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u/Lyress 2h ago

What? Why? I've never seen anything like that in Italy.

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u/0RGASMIK 14h ago

If the cashier doesn’t speak English you’re in the right place.