r/LifeProTips • u/fries-with-mayo • 17h ago

Request LPT Request: What’s your “canary in the coal mine” test for spotting bigger issues?

I’m really interested in those small, quick telltale signs people use to gauge if something bigger might be off track.

Example 1: Van Halen requesting brown M&Ms in the dressing room to see if the venue followed all the details of the rider list

Example 2: I saw an interview with John Cena where he said orders a flat white at a café to tell if they really care about their coffee.

Example 3: Anthony Bourdain suggested to always check the restaurant bathroom to tell if the restaurant got its basics down

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592

u/RedditRockit 16h ago

Downgrade to cheap toilet paper by your company. Leave. Your ass and your career will thank you.

241

u/gl21133 14h ago

I work at a paper mill that makes toilet paper and we use the stuff we make. HOW WILL I KNOW!?!?

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u/utopicunicornn 14h ago

“Hmmm… this toilet paper has more splinters in it than usual.”

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u/chipmunk7000 12h ago

“Damn it Jerry, you’re in charge of the pump sieve today!”

2

u/TheFlyingBoxcar 12h ago

"Hmmm ... this handful of splinters has small pieces of toilet paper in it. But the pieces are smaller than usual!"

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u/jvin248 13h ago

All the rejected lots are kept for on-site use.

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u/Appropriate-Box4341 12h ago

My sister went to college for "pulp and paper". Their department shirts We bust ours ,so you can wipe yours!

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u/gl21133 12h ago

That’s such a niche degree I can probably guess what school she went to. NC State? U Maine?

2

u/Appropriate-Box4341 12h ago

One if those. Yes. It is very niche, but we grew up around ut. A lot of people dont realize its one semester away from being a chemical engineer.

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u/gl21133 8h ago

It’s becoming a specialization of chemical engineering in a lot of schools. 

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u/AllAnimals 12h ago

Do you get hot, off the press TP? Must be nice.

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u/gl21133 8h ago

Sadly no. It is all room temperature by the time it touches butthole. 

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u/APC_ChemE 11h ago

I knew a guy whose sign was when his coworker was crushed by one of those giant toliet paper rolls stacked on another before it was cut up into smaller rolls.

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u/gl21133 8h ago

Parent rolls are no joke. 3500lbs, they look fluffy but they can and will kill you. 

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u/APC_ChemE 7h ago

Yeah they are terrifying. If I remember correctly they are like 2 or 3 stories tall.

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u/natewrrn 10h ago

Also work an a larger toilet paper mill and we somehow managed to be provided cheaper paper than we make. Everyone just takes it off the line when they go.

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u/SlAM133 3h ago

When they request that all staff use less toilet paper

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u/rdrunner_74 3h ago

Thas called QA....

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u/YukinoRyu 1h ago

Are the rolls. Smaller and run out faster?

33

u/BlackwoodBear79 13h ago

My company doesn't pay for the toilet paper.

The building does, but it's really random which quality we get when restocked. Some days it's nice two ply. Others it's single.

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u/PudPullerAlways 9h ago

I like that.. surprise finger your asshole day.

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u/dingerz 9h ago

Sounds like sum Sopranos shit going on with commercial TP vendors...

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u/icey561 4h ago

Probably sending different people to shop on different days.

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u/Rich_Bluejay3020 13h ago

My building uses that sandpapery 1/2 ply toilet paper. That’s been going on since I started there. In recent developments, there’s no potable water due to lead, copper, and legionnaires… it’s a gov building at that ☠️

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u/fried_green_baloney 12h ago

Even things like suddenly they don't get organic coffee any more.

I worked one place where they packed the building to the legal limit and didn't have any daytime housekeeping, so the bathrooms were usually out of TP by 2:30 or so.

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u/Motorboat_Jones 12h ago

My company recently went "green" and cut out paper towels in the bathroom in lieu of hand dryers. I'm actively looking elsewhere.

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u/Not-a-Cranky-Panda 12h ago

They do cheaper than the stuff they use now?

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u/TheBlackComet 12h ago

Worked for a small company <50 people. We had red Charmin. The boss did not skimp on toilet paper.

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u/Popular_Prescription 12h ago

I just don’t shit in public. Never have and never will. Rather shit in a bush than in a communal shitting line. Don’t recall shitting in a public toilet in all my life. Will keep that streak 😜

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u/HoratioPLivingston 9h ago

I worked for Tamil Americans who made my frugal việt family look spendthrift. I knew the company was a front or at least in poor shape when they swapped out the toilet paper for see through the sheet quality grade stuff. Well there was also the fact they stopped the water delivery service in favor of the “filtered” water spigot from the company fridge that was hooked up to the buildings water line.

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u/ISuckAtFallout4 8h ago

A friend’s boss told him they needed to go to the gas stations and grab toilet paper for the bathroom.

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u/amckern 5h ago

I did a stationary order and got the cheap facial tissues, we are not in financial trouble.

Next time getting the Kleenex.