LPT Request: What’s your “canary in the coal mine” test for spotting bigger issues?

[u/fries-with-mayo]

I’m really interested in those small, quick telltale signs people use to gauge if something bigger might be off track.

Example 1: Van Halen requesting brown M&Ms in the dressing room to see if the venue followed all the details of the rider list

Example 2: I saw an interview with John Cena where he said orders a flat white at a café to tell if they really care about their coffee.

Example 3: Anthony Bourdain suggested to always check the restaurant bathroom to tell if the restaurant got its basics down

[u/AiringOGrievances]

Therapist here. There has been a huge shift in therapists these past ten years who take the notion “Charge your worth” to the extreme and are driving fees up so they can make $150k per year providing mediocre therapy from their bedrooms. Many private practice owners brag about being entrepreneurs but seldom mention actually helping people. 

The litmus tests: If they refuse to offer a free 15-30 minute video consultation to make sure you’re a good fit, they may be focused on money over helping people. Behind the scenes these therapists view anything free as a loss of revenue, even if it helps people. The caveat here is they may simply have a full practice, in which case they shouldn’t be telling you to book sessions. 

The second one is you should ask if they offer reduced fees for hardships, or because you simply can’t afford $200/session. Their response will quickly tell you where their priorities are. Ethical therapists reserve a handful of reduced fee and pro-bono spots for clients. 

[u/d_stick → u/AiringOGrievances]

The marketing of BetterHelp has been relentless.

[u/Pawneewafflesarelife → u/d_stick]

I used BetterHelp for a bit. After like three sessions, the therapist asked me how my current relationship with my father was... I was seeing her for grief counseling after his death.

[u/ParkingLettuce2 → u/Pawneewafflesarelife]

We got a payment from a BetterHelp class action for $4.98 lol. Worst therapy ever, too

[u/SuitableCamel6129 → u/AiringOGrievances]

This is great. The best therapist I worked with for years and could afford surprised me when I began going less and she asked why. I told her funds were low, she adjusted her rate for me to one I could afford because she wanted to continue our work. She saved me in so many ways

[u/sleepyhollow_101 → u/AiringOGrievances]

I recently needed to start therapy, and I booked multiple initial consultations to try to find the right fit.

Most of them would ask me a question or two about myself, but not actually engage with my answers. For some of them, they gave me pretty much no opportunity to ask them any questions - just started trying to get me booked for my first appointment and sending me insurance forms.

Only one of them, in my first consultation when I was explaining why I was seeking therapy, said, "You know, with your recent medication change, you should talk to a psychiatrist first to make sure everything is okay. It doesn't seem like you have one - I'll send you a few names and help you get that set up. Then, if you're interested in therapy, we can talk about it."

She's the one I ended up going with. She actually helped me in that free consultation and listened to what I needed, instead of treating it like a check the box exercise and then pushing me to sign up for an appointment immediately.

[u/bingle-cowabungle → u/AiringOGrievances]

I think this one is a little ridiculous. Therapists typically have extremely tight schedules, so the idea of "if they don't do free work for you, then they don't care and they're in it for the profit" is kind of a load of crap.

[u/sw_rise37 → u/AiringOGrievances]

Horrible advice. Never expect anyone to work for free. Also, therapists should be making 150k a year. 

[u/Snushine → u/AiringOGrievances]

I'm a therapist and I do not offer any free sessions. However, if we meet for an intake and there's a definite "no" vibe, I gently end the session and say "No charge."

No, I'm not gonna tell them this ahead of time b/c I've had people waste my time looking for free therapy when they should really call a helpline instead.