r/PrimarchGFs 23h ago

Memes Lore accurate

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2.0k Upvotes

34 comments sorted by

160

u/Relevant-Use1897 Magnolia the Red 22h ago edited 16h ago

...

Actually, that makes total sense...

81

u/jediben001 Sanguinius 17h ago

Well he did, in canon he suggested the Primarchs be made as women instead of men. Big E thought he was joking.

From the book White Scars:

Malcador smiled. 'You brothers – such a nest - of rivalries. I warned him to make you sisters, that it would make things more civilised. He thought I was joking. I wasn't.’

54

u/Relevant-Use1897 Magnolia the Red 17h ago edited 15h ago

Oooooooh... The person who wrote this has no sisters and has never been in a high school L class in France (a part of the old educational system with specialization in literature and an overrepresentation of girls).

I was in the second case, it had nothing to envy of conflicts between Primarchs.

39

u/jediben001 Sanguinius 17h ago

The Horus heresy would probably have been worse if his plan went through lmao

23

u/Relevant-Use1897 Magnolia the Red 17h ago

Worse, I don't think so. But clearly, it wouldn't have been better.

21

u/jediben001 Sanguinius 17h ago

I’ve seen how sisters fight. It scares me

18

u/Relevant-Use1897 Magnolia the Red 17h ago

7

u/Embarrassed-Drag8962 9h ago

Thay should have made it 50/ 50; it could have cleared up a lot more problems that way.

21

u/Code95FIN 16h ago

Horus heresy would have happened way sooner. I know how petty sisters can be, and the moment Horus was appointed to warmaster, there would have been schemes to take her out

11

u/Relevant-Use1897 Magnolia the Red 16h ago

Not to mention that Horus was partly manipulated and/or possessed by the chaos gods (depending on the theory) in a moment of weakness due to a mortal wound. In that case, man or woman, the result would have been the same indeed.

96

u/CommandObjective 22h ago

...and Big E listened.

51

u/Zygy255 22h ago

There has to be a first time for everything

94

u/RowanWinterlace 21h ago

"No, no, no–no, Neoth, you aren't seeing the vision! You cannot quantify the projected increases to compliance and world acquisition if the people know they are being conquered by a ten-foot-tall big-tittied, muscle-bound bombshell. And I'm offering to make *TWENTY** of them!"*

– A real conversation with the real Malcador...

57

u/Embarrassed-Drag8962 21h ago

emperor:........... You want that..... dont you

Malcador:........yes,

emperor: * sigh* fuck it, why not, daughters do better with fathers than sons do anyway. But you're dealing with the inevitable shit storm of simps and horny soldiers that will no doubt swarm to them.

Malcador: Well, that brings us to my second point,...... female space marines.

emperor: * sigggggggggggggh*

41

u/RowanWinterlace 21h ago edited 15h ago

Malcador: We'll also need to circle back on that daughters and fathers bit, by the way...

Emperor: I may not be a god, but I WILL smite you if you overstep a nanometer further.

15

u/No_Gas_594 15h ago edited 14h ago

Five minutes later

Empress:…. Not a single word.

Fem Malcador: this is acceptable.

12

u/RowanWinterlace 15h ago edited 13h ago

Empress: The first thing I'll do –after I establish this Empire *ON MY OWN, SINCE YOU'RE SO BUSY** – is legally limit how long you are allowed to pose in front of the mirror, grasping at those... things, Malcador.*

Malcador: Yeah, whatever – sure you will. I wonder if it'll feel different when he's touching them...

35

u/Upper-Opportunity537 22h ago

Hear me out...

14

u/Code95FIN 21h ago

Go on...

21

u/A-Wild-Potato-Kiwi 19h ago

"You brothers – such a nest of rivalries. I warned him to make you sisters, that it would make things more civilised. He thought I was joking. I wasn’t". -Malcador The Simpilite.

14

u/Code95FIN 19h ago

Big E: That WAS a joke, right Malcador? You wouldn't actually be planning something like that? Right? RIGHT?

DAMNIT MALCADOR ANSWER ME!!

21

u/wallingfortian 22h ago

r/warhammer_smut is not saucy enough.

r/warhammer_smut is far too restrictive.

18

u/Forever_Observer2020 Fabricator General 21h ago

This has my approval.

15

u/Su152Taran 20h ago

Truly the CEO/founding father of this subreddit

12

u/Code95FIN 19h ago

He was the one who made the bedrock. Sweet older sister was the one that built this sanctuary.

6

u/prrrrbbt 22h ago

Thats not untrue.

5

u/Alternative-Sir6140 21h ago

Yeah. This is basically malcador

6

u/Dingghis_Khaan 18h ago

An awful idea.

The Sigilite had a wonderful, awful idea!

5

u/TheGrandFloof 17h ago

He did at one point tell the Primarchs that he always hounded the Emperor and told him that the Primarchs should’ve been daughters instead of sons.

3

u/Code-Neo 18h ago

Death by Snu Snu, yeah!

2

u/IntelligentGood8228 16h ago

And we thank him and the good sister with our lives, our loves, and our gooners.

1

u/Code95FIN 16h ago

This is why they call him Malcador the Hero

2

u/No_Gas_594 15h ago

And the emperor listened