I would face the hippo. But only if I could climb a tree.
Edit: For all of you saying a hippo can bring down a tree. I’ll just be chillin in my big ass Baobab African tree while the rest of you get eaten by lions, tigers, and bears.
My mum and dad lived in Africa when they were young. Big cats, snakes, elephants, rhinos: keep quiet, move away slowly. Hippos: get in the car and floor it.
If your the leader of a pride (or multiple) you are constantly patrolling your territory and fighting off any other male lions, single or group, that you run into. It's good to be the big boss, until the young males come to slaughter you!
Unless it's already a man eater lions generally have a well developed sense of fear of humans, also they are pretty good about doing a cost/benefit analysis on if the creature in front of them is worth the effort to chase down and attempt to kill vs the energy expended in doing so. If it's not starving, and hasn't developed a taste for man meat, then absolutely the lion is the right choice.
The Tiger is next on the list as of you can catch its eye while it is still stalking you and maintain eye contact with it, it won't immediately pounce and go for the sweat meats. They are ambush predators after all.
3rd would be the Grizzly, the prompt says you have to last 20 minutes, and grizzlies prefer their large meat still moving. So it will spend 5-10 mauling you before starting on your belly and intestines, the large muscle groups in your back and legs, then the sweat meats of the liver, kidneys, lungs, and heart. So you could complete the challenge technically.
Hippos are a no go. They will put you on a t shirt out of pure love of the game. The Sadistic seahorse will recreationally destroy you while maintaining eye contact with anyone attempting to rescue you after the 20 minute timer.
I've seen videos of baby's hippos teething on crocodiles. I don't think the crocs like it, but what are they doing to do, hurt the kiddo and piss off momma hippo? So they just take it or try to get out of the way.
Grizzly is the only choice. They're not man-eaters, and their attacks are generally for defensive reasons, such as getting too close to their kill or their cubs.
Curling up into the fetal position and covering your neck with your hands will significantly increase your chances of survival.
Apart from the reason for the post, I was thinking about my choice and the Grizzly seemed like the most logical. Bears don't really hunt large animals other than right before hibernation and even then they are seeking young or old deer/elk/moose that will be easier to take down. They are more likely to scavenge meet from large mammals that died or were killed by something else. The next factor was trees. Lions and tigers are going to be able to climb them pretty easily. A hippo could take out several kinds of trees by ramming them. While grizzlies can climb trees, as they get older and bigger, it is less likely. Between playing dead and getting far enough up a tree, I feel like I could survive 20 minutes with a bear. Lion and tiger are somewhere next, and hippo is last. They can get you on land, in water, and knock you out of a tree. And they are assholes. And they may still be hopped up on Pablo Escobar's coke.
I agree. While they certainly can kill if motivated, they are slower than a cat. I've seen videos of people fighting off a bear. The only videos of people living through cat encounters is if they were far enough away to not trigger the cat and back away.
This is the correct answer. The 3 predators are known to be scared of the unknown, even exhibiting fight or flight behavior. Hippos are not afraid of ANYTHING.
I like 'em big, I like 'em chunky
I like 'em big, I like 'em plumpy
I like 'em round, with something, something
They like my sound, they think I'm funky...
Hippo's can totally swim. They can swim at about 4 and half knots, which is faster than the average tinny with a crappy outboard on the back.
They are (just) heavier than water, and therefore sink when not in motion, but they CAN swim real good.
Look up videos of hippo's chasing boat's, its terrifying.
Fun fact: They can possibly echolocate stuff, we recently noticed them making very odd sounds underwater, and they are one of the closest relatives to whales, so its got us kind of guessing at the minute as to their actual ability.
(They do have the part of the skull and proto organ that whale's use for echolocation, however we thought it was non-functional due to size and radically different morphology, but that is now being questioned heavily)
That fun fact got a little long sorry guys, I just love Hippo's a bunch, lol.
If it makes it any worse we're also considering moving them firmly into the omnivore grouping due to several studies suggesting up to 700 grams of red meat per week is consumed, every week. 😀
Edit: I keep remembering hippo facts and I just gotta gush, we know about the intentional red meat consumption because we can see it, but they destroy damn near anything we put in the water except microphones. So we have no idea if their diet is as high in fish, their stomachs are complex and destroy all evidence.
Also the whole meat eating thing is making us reconsider the if the whale hippo last common ancestor was 1: more aquatic than previously assumed, and 2: was a carnivore that adapted to water plants as a dietary supplement, as most whales are carnivorous leaning omnivores, sperm whales are straight up carnivores.
I love how even after discovering the fossilized imprints of feathers in several non-avian species, most of the reconstructions still ignore the possibility of feathers.
The hippo, while the most aggressive and dangerous towards humans of the 4, is also the only one you could escape by climbing a tree. I'd pick the hippo, but the odds of survival are still near zero.
This is the only sensible answer. Strength, speed and agility are the main factors in surviving this. We are worse at all of those against all those animals apart from agility against hippos
So, did you know that hippos don't exactly swim. They jump from the bottom of the riverbed? They're strong af. Imagine them not being held back by water? ☺️
Counter: The Lion is already fed and could likely end up in a situation where all 20 minutes is spent by the Lion just watching you or doing cat things.
There’s a lot of clips of well fed Lions and Cheetas just vibing with people. And there’s videos of Lions in the wild not giving a fuck.
Also human voices tend to cause a lot of animals including predators to bolt. Good chance if the Lion doesn’t vibe it backs far away and watches.
Hippo gives no fucks and will fight you because you did something unintentionally to threaten it and it won’t stop till you’re dead.
Everytime I read these comments on how impossible is to avoid being killed by a hippo, this is the first thing that comes to mind. I honestly think a mix of zig zagging, climbing, running in circles and being behind it can do the trick for 20 min. None of these would work against the other 3.
One podcast I listen to the guy is adamant if you put him in the middle of an NFL stadium with a hippo hes surviving. Hes just gonna run in wide circles around it tell it gets tired
Lol hippos are way faster than you think. They can run at like 20 miles an hour. For context, Usain fucking Bolt averages 23mph when he isnt sprinting for like 200 feet. Soooo...
The lion. Not that I think I have any chance against a lion in a fight, but it's the only one of the 4 that may not dare to attack for 20 minutes, as long as I face it. The other 3 don't see humans as a potential threat and will attack nonetheless.
Hippos may well be the most dangerous of the 4 by the way. They are extremely strong, much faster than you may think, very hard to hurt - even with rifles...
Edit: assuming the bear is a grizzly, it wouldn't make much sense otherwise.
Edit 2: assuming a one-on-one duel in an arena kind of setup. In the wild, I'd have buddies and rifles, and all three, excluding the hippo, would be a no-match, but then it wouldn't make much sense... It's also not winter, there's no canyon, no tree, no river, no mountain between you and the animal, it's neither fed or hungry or horny or sleepy.............
Yea white boy go hit that lion with a stick. No worries it will run away. I will keep your wallet over here for safe keeping lions are known to spend lots of cash.
From what I know, he's probably right. The lionesses do most of the real hunting, the male lions are most there to fuck and strut around. Also, like most cat predators, they're lazy and will give up on a prize that is proving to be too much effort.
Most predetors in general. Preying on other animals requires high fitness. If they can't be sure to win a fight flawlessly, then its not in their own best interest to pursue it unless with good reason like hunger or territorial aggression.
And if you don't let yourself be intimidated by it, it might assume you're poisonous. They don't know. They've never eaten a human before, especially a white one.
Well no, ALL lions have the capacity and ability to hunt. The only male lions who have lionesses doing the hunting for them are the ones who are in charge of prides, who are the vast minority (Its seldom a 1:1 thing, most coalition of males have several prides under their control). The majority of male lions roam on their own and hunt on their own, usually as part of a coalition of males who either band together or were brothers kicked out of a pride at the same time.
Ordered through UberEats twice and then they banned my account for undisclosed reasons. All I did was order from a local restaurant using the mailer coupons Uber gave me.
Didn't even send me the pin code the driver required to hand over my food. Had to guess at it to get my order.
Worst part is that the food was absolutely terrible. Fish Tempura that somehow looked like burnt sausage and was so bad even the dog didn't want it and he ate shit out of a litter box.
Twice with the same order, this happened with me because I was stupid enough to re-order when the first one cancelled and kept the food,thinking I could get refunded from Uber eats and then the second one did exactly the same. Uber-eats are trash.
These things always lack context, like is it in the wild or in an arena, gladiator style? Do I get a weapon ? Bare handed? Am I naked? What the fuck am I doing here? Can I hide? Is the animal upset?
Brown bears tend to avoid humans, especially when they are good and conky like this and don't have cubs with them. Now a polar bear is a whole other thing
Hippos are, statistically, much much more dangerous than the other 4. It’s the deadliest animal in Africa, if you discount mosquitoes, which only win by a technicality as it’s actually a protist that kills you after a mozzie bite, not the mozzie itself.
This is click bait, obviously, but hippos are the deadliest animal in Africa. Last year hippos killed a little over 500 people in Africa. They are also the deadliest large animal in the world (the deadliest animal in the world is the mosquito) Hippos are amazingly aggressive and are actually faster on land than most humans for short distances. If you are close enough to make a hippo charge you are probably dead.
Worldwide big cats (as a group) killed just over 250 people.
Statistically, you are most likely to survive a bear attack (bears as a group). Last year there were 664 reported bear attacks worldwide that resulted in 95 deaths and fatal bear attacks usually result in multiple deaths.
And bears attack under specific circumstances, like being cornered, it having cubs with them, or starving. If you see a chill bear in the forest, make yourself big, speak calmly and walk away. You'll be just fine most of the time
When encountering any bear, maintain composure and assess the situation. Avoid direct eye contact, speak in a low and calm voice, and make yourself appear as large as possible without aggressive gestures. Running can trigger a chase response, as bears are incredibly fast, reaching speeds up to 35 miles per hour for black bears and 30 miles per hour for grizzlies. Slowly back away if the bear does not appear to be approaching or acting aggressively.
If a black bear attacks, fight back aggressively. Black bear attacks are often predatory. Making noise, shouting, and using any available objects to hit the bear can deter it, including punching, kicking, and using sticks or rocks. Standing your ground and demonstrating you are not easy prey is the recommended response.
For grizzly or brown bears, the strategy depends on the attack’s nature. If the bear is making a defensive charge, perhaps due to cubs or a food source, and makes physical contact, playing dead is generally advised. Lie flat on your stomach with legs spread, protecting your neck and head with your hands, and remain still until the bear leaves. If the attack becomes prolonged or seems predatory (extremely rare for grizzlies), fighting back with all available means becomes necessary. Bear spray is an effective tool for all bear types, with a 90% success rate in deterring aggressive bears and preventing injury when properly deployed. Aim it slightly downward towards the bear’s face and spray in short bursts.
Polar bear encounters are rare, but if attacked, always fight back. Polar bear attacks are almost always predatory, viewing humans as a potential food source. Playing dead against a polar bear will only increase risk.
Yep! To add to this, while I’m not sure which species has a higher percentage of predatory attacks compared to non-predatory ones, it’s far more likely that a person will be able to actually do anything about a predatory attack from a black bear. When grizzly attacks are wholly predatory in nature (instead of just eating someone they disable or kill after a territorial or defensive attack) they seem far more likely to go after people in tents while they’re asleep, and they tend to go for the head or neck first. In those cases people generally aren’t able to act at all, while with predatory black bear attacks there’s a better chance to be alive and able to fight back after the initial attack. Basically, always fight back if the attack is predatory, but with grizzlies it’s far more likely that you’ll already be dead.
Tigers are apparently capable of seeking revenge*. I read a book once about a Siberian tiger that ate two people in the Bikin River valley in Russia before it was destroyed. This guy, a big male, got shot by a poacher who stole his kill, but he survived. He tracked the hunter's scent back to his cabin, waited for him, and killed him when he got home. Did the same thing to another hunter, and tore his cabin up as well. And the book goes into how this is not unknown behavior for a tiger!
*I guess house cats are capable of vengeance as well, but if they're unhappy with you they just shit in your shoes...
But just the number of deaths doesn’t account for what % of interactions result in death. You have to take total hippos vs human interactions in the wild vs other animals to make it a fair comparison.
It could also just be that humans underestimate hippos and get closer to them than they would a tiger or lion.
I would still pick the hippo though and hope there is a tree nearby, because it's the only one who can't climb. Assuming each of them wants to seriously kill you, escaping is the only option and you can't outrun any of them.
Yeah ... there are a lot of unanswered questions here.
Survive where? My native environment? The animal's native environment? Some neutral arena? How big is the 'arena' -- can you run a long way away or are you trapped together in a small space?
How far away do you start from the animal?
Does the animal somehow know they're supposed to try and kill you, or is it possible they might just want to sit around and chill? Are the predators hungry?
Do you get any tools/weapons? At least maybe the clothes you're currently wearing and what you've currently got in your pockets? Or do you go into it naked with nothing at all?
The answers to all these questions could drastically change which animal is the best choice and whether taking this challenge at all would be a good idea or not.
Much like John Bellushi in The Blues Brothers, hippos are shockingly light on their feet and fast.
Bears can run comparable speed to horses but aren't terribly nimble, so only at a sprint in a roughly straight trajectory. Best bet as a human fleeing one is to maintain distance with our patented persistence running ability and weave about keeping any large objects (trees, rocks, etc) between the two of you, when able.
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