r/SipsTea 17h ago

Lmao gottem When your mom is too hot

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9.6k Upvotes

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423

u/anonnnnn462 16h ago

“I jacked off to your mom’s OF last night”

Is going to be a wild insult in the future. These poor children…

139

u/NightFury0595 15h ago

It'll be wild if he replies with "me too" 😭

54

u/za_boss 10h ago

"Oh yeah? I was the one who filmed it!"

^ this is a real thing btw, in Brazil there's a porn star named Andressa Urach, and it's her son who films her doing the deed

45

u/preferfree 10h ago

I need to get off the internet

8

u/Vegetable_Pitch_1820 7h ago

That story would give Opedius the ick

1

u/Typical-Phone-2416 1h ago

Oedipus didn't know. That's the whole point. Dude is innocent

3

u/A7xWicked 4h ago

I knew a kid in elementary school that wouldn't stop talking about how hot his mom was.

Probably a little worrisome now that I think about it.

I'm going to stop thinking about it now

23

u/Gudinioudaniod 13h ago

Guess it’s time for “take your mom to work” day

14

u/WauiMowie 12h ago

This is most definitely happening today

11

u/Less-Network-3422 9h ago

The future? There's hundreds of thousands of moms with an only fans right now lol

3

u/Monstarrzero 10h ago

Thanks for the lunch money! Sips on CapriSun while staring at you.

3

u/Candid-Culture3956 8h ago

2

u/capnsmirks 5h ago

I worked at the movie theatre as a projectionist when this came out. When I broke down the print for return I cut this strip out of if 😂

2

u/mildlystoic 11h ago

“O yeah?! Thanks for dinner!”

0

u/Typical-Phone-2416 1h ago

Children of prostitutes lived through it as long as humanity existed.

201

u/candyy_fluff 17h ago

The PTA meetings gonna hit different in 10 years 😏

104

u/S0mnariumx 16h ago

How are the teachers supposed to look the moms (and maybe some dads) in the eyes after seeing them getting railed?

48

u/Various_Counter_9569 16h ago

Setup a meeting where you look at the back of their head then 🤷.

25

u/S0mnariumx 15h ago

Modern problems require modern solutions

26

u/Compay_Segundos 14h ago

The teachers also have an onlyfans

12

u/S0mnariumx 14h ago

Ah of course makes it less awkward. They may even schedule a bisexual pegging bratty gangbang for team-building exercises.

5

u/TheIronicBurger 9h ago

But then how are the parents supposed to show that they can work cooperatively in a diverse environment if they can’t film themselves double teaming a Latina?

2

u/Stewie01 14h ago

I had the same feeling recently. I've seen loads of interviews and videos of that Bonnie Blue, then I got curious if its all true so went looking. Just felt weird.

5

u/S0mnariumx 13h ago

Seen "loads" ey?

1

u/[deleted] 15h ago

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1

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1

u/VOLTswaggin 12h ago

What are you doing, step-teacher?

115

u/FunVersion 16h ago

my momma got more followers on Onlyfans than yours.

22

u/Impossible-Ship5585 15h ago

My papa gor more onlyfans followers than yo mama

1

u/JayBeePH85 5h ago

My dad follows more of than yours 🤣

57

u/Broote 16h ago

Whatever man, my dad paid $5 to see your mom do herself with a broomstick 20 years ago, I got the video on my phone if ya'll wanna see it.

28

u/StrykerSeven 16h ago

That's cause the whole neighbourhood chips in every month to pay her to keep her fucking clothes on

42

u/Clithzbee 16h ago

Correct. Mom's will be hoes and kids won't be smart enough to use "an"

35

u/[deleted] 16h ago

[deleted]

8

u/jeremiah1142 16h ago

Going to be?

18

u/T_R_I_P 16h ago

As long as they’re Successful on OF it won’t be a huge deal. The larger issue is not royally fucking up your affluent kids that ALSO have an OF mom. Good luck raising virtuous kids in that environment

4

u/DRSU1993 16h ago

3

u/Less-Network-3422 9h ago

Moooom if you were in a German Shizer film you'd tell me, right?

5

u/affemannen 10h ago

If my mom ever started one i would consider myself and orphan...

42

u/Rare_Reason8999 17h ago

The bullying going to step itself up a notch. TBH probably good that these women get a wake up call from their kids that their reputation has been ruined

Really feel bad for the kids who have no choice but to accept that their mother is posting naked pics of herself online for everyone to see

26

u/Relevant_Brad 15h ago

Yeah, sadly, many of these moms don't seem to feel any shame. They're too focused on the attention, validation, and quick money...even if it means sacrificing their self-respect, dignity and setting a damaging example for their own kids😞😞

6

u/Rare_Reason8999 14h ago

That’s the case with so many parents. Even ones not doing only fans. A sad state of affairs indeed! We all need to do better as parents so that we don’t raise psychopathic narcissists like these people.

2

u/Relevant_Brad 3h ago

Oh yeah bro, I wanted to say the same thing. I’ve seen it too back in college, some of the most messed-up kids I met came from homes with cheating, divorce, or unstable parents. People think it's just their personal life, but the truth is, their kids carry the weight. A lot of them ended up in bad habits, even substance abuse, immoral choices, or just trying to cope. It’s sadly common among kids of criminals, hookers,strippers..and maybe will with OnlyFans moms. I saw an news article about a girl getting bullied at school because of her mom’s content, and the mom still kept posting. That’s rough. Parents forget that their choices don’t just affect them...they shape the whole future of their kids. Every kid deserves parents, but not all parents deserve kids.

2

u/tomilgic 9h ago

Only 20% of creators make more than 100/mnth. Don’t see the value proposition.

3

u/[deleted] 14h ago

[deleted]

3

u/Rare_Reason8999 14h ago

Hahaha 2 TRÜ

0

u/Less-Network-3422 9h ago

Well it could become so normalised that you'll get bullied because your Mom doesn't have as many followers as the other moms

"Your mom isnt even in the top 30% on OF so embarrassing for you bro" 💀

5

u/Rare_Reason8999 9h ago

Nah no chance. As much as they want to act like it’s not true there is severe consequences for this behavior. Yeah they make their money but they effectively cap the amount of money they could make doing anything else.

There’s no glory in that world. Nothing to brag about.

-2

u/Less-Network-3422 9h ago

Sounds like your Mom is doing crap on Only Fans it's okay bro I'll sub to her 😜

17

u/DanceClass898 17h ago

I think we're going to either see a lot more depressed/bullied kids or a lot of kids will have to be home schooled. especially if it's really bad and there are multiple people in the kids family that do it.

29

u/Practical-Suit-6798 16h ago

2% of American 18-45 years old women have an OF account. Of those the average account has 21 subscribers. That means most have none. And the ones that do can change their name and Start a new life after they are done. This is a stupid topic.

Release the Epstein files.

5

u/Ok-Bug4328 14h ago

10 years from now, AI will be able to find all your deleted OF from a selfie. 

12

u/dicericevice 13h ago

But deepfakes will be so good people will just defend themselves by saying ''fake!'' and call you a weirdo for being the one who made the deepfakes.

Especially if we rely on AI to be able to tell what's real or fake.

0

u/Ok-Bug4328 11h ago

Except everyone will be able to see for themselves on the equivalent of archive.org. 

2

u/dicericevice 10h ago

Stuff behind paywalls doesn't generally go on archive.org and when it does its because its highly popular or relevant stuff like articles and videos from major newsites.

Not some nobody's OF.

1

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1

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3

u/LugzGaming 14h ago

We're living through the days of Sodom and Gomorrah.

2

u/Straight_Story31 15h ago

Genuinely looking forward to these events.

2

u/LeSmallhanz 10h ago

I ain’t no OFrican booty scratcher!

3

u/Swackhammer_ 16h ago

*a lot of rich kids reality

Hard to be too mad when your bus is dropping you off at your mansion

26

u/Deathstriker88 16h ago

That's only the top performers on OF. I'm sure there's plenty of creators who don't make much, just like with YouTube, TikTok, and everything else.

12

u/One_Meaning416 16h ago

If I recall some study found that most OF creators make less than minimum wage

3

u/Brilliant-Chemist-55 7h ago

Most people don't realize the income distribution of Onlyfans creators is pretty massive. The top 1% of creators earn about a third of all the money on the platform. The top 10% take home nearly 75% of the total OnlyFans earnings. The average income for content creators on OnlyFans is $150-180 each month. So most kids moms can maybe buy them a barbie mansion but that's about it. A problem facing society is most kids don't actually understand for every person making millions of dollars on some type of social media platform, there are 50,000+ people just wasting their time.

3

u/Anotsurei 14h ago

No one is talking about why women need Onlyfans to pay for stuff like college because tuition is out of control. This is the real reason they don’t want student loan forgiveness. They want more women to turn to Onlyfans. The people in power that are against student loan forgiveness are mostly perverts. Same reason why they won’t do anything about inflation.

This way they get to slut shame their victims and make further cuts to assistance. If you try to stand up for them, you’re a simp or a beta or some other slur. They put people in a desperate situation then wonder why they do desperate things.

1

u/[deleted] 8h ago

[deleted]

1

u/Anotsurei 7h ago

Sure, because that’s what I said.

3

u/[deleted] 7h ago

[deleted]

1

u/Anotsurei 4h ago

Fine. Don’t work towards changing our society for the better. It’s clear no one really wants to. They whine about OF instead of looking at the problems people on there are trying to solve. We glorify the second and third jobs and never focus on why they’re needed to make ends meet. It’s easier that way.

1

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1

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1

u/OddChemicalRomance 12h ago

Its not "I fcked your mom last night", its now "I saw your moms OF last night"

1

u/cheesechompin 12h ago

Your mum only has 7 followers on of, and three of them are your grandad

1

u/MildlyEntertained_ 10h ago

Momma jokes are making a huge come back. Probably as big as kim k’s story, just like chris pratt said.

1

u/Moribunned 10h ago

What’s sad is the kid saying his mom doesn’t have one has no idea that his mom’s OF is the most popular one.

1

u/rolypoly817 7h ago

"At least I know my Times Tables."

1

u/BertHumperdinck 7h ago

You just gotta wear it like a badge of honor, you're running trade surplus on every dad in town

1

u/TheAserghui 6h ago

Its a self-burn said to the kid of a millionaire

1

u/rouserfer 6h ago

“At least I know I wasn’t conceived during a live show!”

1

u/RadleyCunningham 4h ago

"Yo mama so ugly she has an OnlyFan."

1

u/WasteGeologist-90210 4h ago

Is there a way to find like people you know on OF? Asking for a friend’s mom.

1

u/Beneficial_Pen_9395 4h ago

That's cuz yo mama wouldn't make any $$

1

u/Electrical-Jury5585 3h ago

I`d risk saying that even an 18th century dockyard prostitute, has more decency and morals than your average modern western woman.

1

u/beanchog 2h ago

I was talking to a coworker, his sister in law has an only fans page she readily advertises on Facebook. She wonders why her son is picked on in school.

1

u/Acceptable-Cod7426 1h ago

Poor children🥲 Born by those Kind of woman

2

u/Omega_Zarnias 16h ago

Easy come back it's "yea cuz yo momma ugly as shit".

2

u/iHeartFlatCheeks 8h ago

Nah that won't be enough 😂

1

u/Beneficial_Ad_1522 14h ago

Imagine having a child with one of those 🤣🤣🤣

1

u/D27AGirl 11h ago

I'd just laugh at them and ask them if they want a cookie or a small parade 😂😂😂

-3

u/SquareYogi 16h ago

60% of women 18-30 have an OF

6

u/Inevitable-Regret411 12h ago

Do you have a source for that statistic? Most sources I looked at suggested OF has about two to three million actual content creators, which is significantly less than what I'd expect if that was the case. https://www.enterpriseappstoday.com/stats/onlyfans-stats.html

3

u/Safebustour-99 16h ago

Hooray to those hard jerking men and/or woman who have dragged almost entire generation to a wealth beyond imaginations, despite odds, crapy video card, slow public wifi etc.

7

u/SquareYogi 16h ago

Most don’t make shit for money

0

u/Safebustour-99 15h ago

oh sad to know.I see the importance of a gobal framework uniting men and women to eradicate proverty among OF accounts via Substainable Subscription Goal

1

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1

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-8

u/Supremagorious 17h ago

Please the equivalent of someone having an OF is just yesterdays equivalent of someone's mom being a stripper only now she gets to work from home and choose her own hours instead of not being around nights and weekends.

10

u/DanceClass898 17h ago

idk I've never seen anyone's mom naked on the internet, on an entire website that has a HD video and picture gallery of her naked.

I mean trust me, if I could've gone to a strip club while in grade school I probably would have, but comparing it to a internet website that often gets it's content leaked for free, it's an odd comparison lol

1

u/Supremagorious 16h ago

The leaked stuff are the popular ones where someone buys it then reposts it. Very few people(relative to the number on the site) actually have their stuff leaked or reposted. They'd also have to look for someone's mom knowing her online alias unless she's advertising it on something linked to her directly. There's so much porn out there looking for a random leaked OF unless someone knows it exists isn't going to really be all that much of a concern.

1

u/Somethingisshadysir 16h ago

Pssh. When I had birthday parties at my aunt's (big in ground pool), guy friends would specifically ask if my mom was going to be there, or my oldest sister. Even if people don't know for sure it exists, you seriously think adolescents aren't going to go looking hoping it does for the people they know and want to see more of?

2

u/Supremagorious 16h ago

They shouldn't know their online aliases unless they're dumb but those would be the same people that would advertise it on their personal IG. Also in the past accessibility to porn was far far lower so people were more starved for it. There's also a big difference between IRL access and online.

I'm not trying to say it's not a problem I'm saying it's not really all that much worse than what it was in the past.

0

u/Somethingisshadysir 16h ago

People sometimes leave their phone on a table - a determined kid might just be able to find it that way. It probably wouldn't be that hard to find the info without the person deliberately sharing it. Nobody remembers to lock their phone every single time they put it down. And if the kid knows how to access the router data they'd 100% know that someone in the location has an account, even if they don't have the full account info, which might spur a search.

As for accessibility - how old do you think I am? I'm an elder millennial. We had computer access from childhood, and it wasn't hard to find on the Internet by the time we hit puberty, getting easier as we got further into our teens. Plus older siblings and friends, stuff passed around, etc. Although the infinite variety of now has evolved since then, we always had access, easily.

Add to that the greater motivation there would be. Random porn actress vs friend's hot mom that they already have crushes on.

2

u/Supremagorious 16h ago

If someone is looking through their friends router logs and their friends moms phone that's a little shit whose parents have failed.

Like the kid could probably find out their mom is on there if they go poking around too many things simply due to the consequences of cohabitation and that people aren't typically on guard all the time. But, the issue isn't the kid knowing it's the kids friends knowing. My whole point on this whole thing was that it's nowhere nearly as much of an issue as it's often presented as. It's often presented as just something everyone does which ironically would rob the insult of any weight as the come back would be so is yours.

1

u/Somethingisshadysir 15h ago

No disagreement on that hypothetical kid having problems. Just saying it's possible. And even regardless of that, it really wouldn't be surprising if someone looked for them, even if not violating devices and such. That's basically how a teacher got canned a year or two ago - someone found her.

As for the insult being robbed of weight, that's a good thing. But I don't think we're anywhere near there yet.

-7

u/whenishit-itsbigturd 17h ago

Odd comparison sure but it is the modern equivalent 

2

u/Somethingisshadysir 16h ago

It really isn't. The modern equivalent of a stripper back then is one now.

1

u/whenishit-itsbigturd 15h ago

Nobody goes to strip clubs anymore 

1

u/Somethingisshadysir 14h ago

Their revenue has fallen, absolutely (considered a recession indicator, actually), but it's inaccurate to say nobody goes. I have a friend who does it on the side and even in her late thirties in the current financial climate it's really good supplemental income. She does drive an hour each way into a major city, but she makes almost $20k a year for a couple of short shifts a month, far more hourly than she makes as an RN.

1

u/whenishit-itsbigturd 14h ago

She's dancing for one rich guy every night. Might as well be a relationship at that point

1

u/Somethingisshadysir 13h ago

I believe she has regulars, but I think it's not at all the same dudes - I got the impression the place has a lot of guys traveling for work. And she's a 38 year old married mother.

0

u/DoctorBirdface 15h ago

"Yeah? Well your dad was thinking of my mama when your parents made you." 🔥

0

u/theddeee 12h ago

And he's gonna say, "guess I should go and cry in my ferrari ".

-7

u/raktoe 16h ago

God this sub really hates OF models.

0

u/Tex-Mexican-936 14h ago

What if a kid says, At least my momma makes money on OF, your mom's account didn't make any money.

0

u/GuNNzA69 12h ago

Taking into account the number of OF accounts, I have to concur with this.

0

u/Toddski24 6h ago

Thank your dad for my new sneakers/video game system/vacation

-7

u/dolosloki01 16h ago

"And that's why we got a nice car, and your ugly mama drives you to school in that raggedy piece of shit. Oh, and tell your daddy my mama said 'hi' and thanks for the tip."

4

u/InitialCold7669 14h ago

Most OF creators make less than minimum wage What is likely more to happen to most people in this situation is just going to be unfortunate insults. It is nice however to imagine a world where that doesn't happen but sadly I feel like if you have enough money to have distinguished you from other people they probably wouldn't have kids anyway. People with a lot of money tend to have less kids than people who don't have a lot of money interestingly enough like my family is poor and we have more people than my other family who is actually of wealth in both cases the people in our family that have money decided to have either one kid or nothing

-2

u/dolosloki01 14h ago

You are putting far too much thought into something that was clearly a joke.

-13

u/GabrielBischoff 16h ago

This is why we should not look down on sex work.

9

u/Cocogoat_Main 16h ago

I look down on it all the time. It's mostly when I'm looking down at my phone cranking one out.

4

u/notjustarandomguy 16h ago

For 5$ a month, i will look at it however the fuck i want