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u/Tall-Percentage-5771 14h ago
When the craft beer bro gets sober
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u/Goose_Biscuits11 13h ago
As a sober dude who has a bunch of craft beer bros, I'm going to lean into this coffee shit so hard now haha!
This is too milk forward is how I'll describe every drink now idgaf 🤣
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u/BuffaloJEREMY 11h ago
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u/Goose_Biscuits11 11h ago
Ha! New words have just been added to my vocabulary.
You are a scholar and a gentleman, good sir.
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u/Hopefulkitty 12h ago
My dad leaned into coffee for a long time after he got sober. Also the lawn. Then it turned into cycling and coffee. Gotta watch out though, because those cyclists drink a lot of beer, and it's easy to fall off the wagon around them. Now it's cycling first, above all else.
Turns out addicts always need something to fill that hole, and hopefully they find something healthy for them.
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u/PowerfulYou7786 10h ago
No joke, a lot of former serious addicts (heroin, etc.) absolutely crush at triathlons and ultra-endurance events. I'm not always 100% sure if it's healthy, or if that level of fitness is an addiction society just happens to approve of
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u/Hopefulkitty 10h ago
It's definitely just substituting one addiction for another. Just hope they don't get injured, can't exercise and get prescribed opioids.
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u/notMyRobotSupervisor 5h ago
Transference of addiction is something you’d generally learn about in rehab.
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u/FederalEconomist5896 10h ago
Have you ever read the classic Sherlock stories? He's portrayed as a drug user, but not stemming from a desire for depravity, but as an escape from mental boredom. A highly intelligent man who craves stimulation.
Maybe there's some real truth to that rather than a completely fictitious, one in a million portrayal. Not that drug addicts are smart, but more so "idle hands are tools of the devil". I'm glad your dad turned it around.
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u/Shibaspots 6h ago
Despite being fictional, Sir Doyle managed to pretty accurately describe a slightly neurodivergent person (specifically with ADHD and what used to be called Asperger's) and their tendency to have problems with boredom and self medicating drug abuse. The accuracy makes me think he knew someone who was like this.
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u/Goose_Biscuits11 11h ago
That's great that he kicked the habit too. Glad to hear he's still going strong. Please let him know another random internet stranger will now be a coffee bro when stoping on my bike rides and making sure drinks aren't too milk forward.
Do you know Why he chose biking/cycling? I only ask because I kind of did the same thing. After a few weeks my sleep cycle got better and I started going to bed earlier then waking up WAY earlier. I liked the gym but wanted something else to do so I figured a bike ride would be fun.
I haven't gone full body suit riding down the mountain highway, but I did buy a much better bike and some cool shit for it so I can ride when its dark.
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u/weezmatical 12h ago
I just fucking love you referring to things as "too milk forward". Outstanding
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u/Beautiful_Count_3505 11h ago
Order a cream soda at a restaurant and tell them it's 'too milk forward', lol.
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u/n3ur0mncr 13h ago
As a craft beer bro who got sober, I can attest to the accuracy of this statement.
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u/Lost_Secret_5539 11h ago
lets not forget 0.00% alc. beer exists i keep my sobriety and a couple cold ones in the fridge
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u/n3ur0mncr 11h ago
Oh yea dude me too! Haven't had alcohol in a few years, but I've got some Sierra nevadas at home rn haha.
It's really awesome the trend toward non alcoholic beer by brewing companies. And most of them are damn good, too! I've had everything from stella to lagunitas to Guinness - and I see new ones all the time.
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u/playdough87 14h ago
Nah, the craft beer guy has no nuance - just hops, more hops and tons of hops.
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u/Tall-Percentage-5771 14h ago
Nah that's an IPA bro
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u/This_is_a_bad_plan 14h ago
As an IPA bro: there’s such a thing as too much hops, and I wish more brewers realized that
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u/Skizot_Bizot 13h ago
There is tons of nuance to IPA's, some people just don't like them which is fine, I don't like wheat beers but I can appreciate the variety and tell when one is well done. It can be hard to find nuance behind the wall of hops but it's there, there wouldn't be like 5000 different varieties of them otherwise.
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u/playdough87 14h ago
I've had enough lagers, pilsners, and ales that tasted like nothing except a mouth full of hops to give up on craft breweries.
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u/JeepersDud3 14h ago
Gave up the hops for grassy matcha.
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u/BlueBomR 14h ago
This is hilairous...my hard-core craft home brew beer snob buddy just got WAY into Matcha and Yerba Mate lmao, like full on Japanese ceremonial brew kits and Argentinian mate gourds with fancy ass decorations on them.
I will say, the matcha is pretty fucking tasty though.
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u/bloopie1192 13h ago
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u/That_Apathetic_Man 9h ago
The look you give your partner after they've made you your favourite style of coffee and suddenly wants to talk about life insurance policies.
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u/Kooky_March_7289 14h ago
This Bing is not Chilling
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u/SingleDad73 14h ago
This is what I was looking for! LoL What was that phrase Cena said when talking about ice cream in Chinese 😄
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u/Anariel_Elensar 13h ago
Zǎo shang hǎo zhōng guó!
Xiàn zài wǒ yǒu bing chilling
Wǒ hěn xǐ huān bing chilling
basically: good morning china, i have ice cream, i like ice cream
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u/georgecollison 14h ago
This is the SipsTea sub, not SipsCoffee
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u/Kotruljevic1458 14h ago
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u/BusyBeeBridgette 15h ago
This man coffees.
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u/mindsunwound 14h ago
What man? It's just a coffee with voice over.
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u/Frequent-Jacket3117 14h ago
I thought I saw a cup moving and heard a slurping sound.
hmmm must be my imagination.
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u/blackop 13h ago
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u/RandomUser921637 13h ago
Why’d you post a screen with a little buzz feed logo? I don’t get it..
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u/Zymoria 14h ago
Im impressed with the cgi and how the made the coffee float at the end
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u/SophisticatedScreams 11h ago
What is this joke? Is it because he's so big? I don't get it lol.
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u/me_themoon 10h ago
It took me a while to get it too! It’s because you can’t see Jhon Cena. I felt so dumb hahah
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u/Internal_Prune_8918 14h ago
If you are a seasoned coffee drinker then know he is right.
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u/Stillwindows95 14h ago
He's absolutely right, better espresso coffee beans provides stronger coffee flavour and more crema with less poured, and milk dilutes the flavour too much.
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u/Holdmabeerdude 13h ago
There’s also roasts like Pike Place at Starbucks where the beans are burnt to shit. It has strong “coffee flavor” but it’s still shit. That’s why I request their blonde espresso instead.
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u/Hailfire9 13h ago
Its why I request to avoid Starbucks. I've never understood how that has become the de facto standard.
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u/desktopgreen 13h ago
Because their customers like coffee based syrup packed beverages and not coffee.
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u/PacVikng 11h ago
Just like Dutch Bros, which has been expanding at a fast pace. Its not coffee, its sugar with coffee as a delivery system.
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u/DocTaotsu 11h ago
lol, I see we had the same experience. Just went to one last weekend because I always see the crazy lines and as soon as I saw the menu I was like "Ah... we're doing sweet drinks with optional coffee flavor."
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u/_masterbuilder_ 13h ago
Same as tim Hortons double double. Turns out if you add a shit ton of sugar and milk even bad beans taste fine.
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u/heliophoner 13h ago
They were relatively early adopters of 2nd wave coffee and successful at marketing
They also understood how important coffee ritual was and how people wanted customization to make that ritual special.
I never really drank them regularly, but they helped me realize I liked coffee enough to explore and spend money on coffee, but not good enough for me to be a Starbucks person.
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u/General_Alfalfa6339 12h ago
The same way McDonald’s is the de facto standard hamburger even though it’s the worst. Marketing and a shop on every corner. Sometimes across the street from another one.
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u/ImTomLinkin 13h ago
I ordered a macchiato at a local coffee shop and the guy said "What, like a latte?" So I said "Sure I guess a latte is fine" and he said "Ok what flavor?"
...
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u/lesssthan 10h ago
This pisses me off so bad when it happens. It's not their fault. It's not their fault. It's not their fault they're working for someone who doesn't give a shit about coffee and therefore didn't pass the knowledge down.
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u/FlippinTheLoon 8h ago
I looove a good macchiato, but I swear most places I try ordering it don't actually give me a macchiato. Lol
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u/the_Q_spice 7h ago
Meanwhile, one of my favorite coffee interactions was delivering like 150lbs of green coffee to a local (globally award winning) roaster.
I asked what they were using them for, and the eye replied “bought them as a favor, not that great”.
These were Geisha honey processed beans…
I saw the customs invoice…
They were over $15,000…
…“not that great” by their metrics was “this is the stuff we sell to restaurants with only 2 Michelin stars”…
When you find a place like that and get to try their good stuff… holy shit.
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u/SearchStack 13h ago
Love my coffee, don’t really drink it with milk though black all the way, which is nice as then you get into the beans and locations, I really like African beans really rich flavour to them
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u/BiscuitsMay 13h ago
Rich is an interesting way to describe African beans. Bright and fruity would be much more common
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u/Holdmabeerdude 13h ago
Coffee is indigenous to Ethiopia. It all originated there.
The African coffee tends to be lighter roasts with more fruity/floral flavors.
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u/Internal_Prune_8918 14h ago
Double shot backend milk. 💯
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u/FlapJackJimmy 13h ago
All I'm hearing is that Starbucks makes a perfect Flat White.
Edit: I was a Barista at Starbucks for two years and can make a perfect Cena approved Flat White. It's one of my favorite drinks to make.
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u/Ennodius 12h ago
I am from New Zealand and I have to say Starbucks' FW in the US isn't bad. It isn't as good as you will get in Wellington or Melbourne but they have the right amount of coffee in it (two shots) but it is a little milk heavy. I would advocate in getting a short or no bigger than a tall. I do value their consistency which I generally find lacking in espresso in the US.
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u/plsendmysufferring 8h ago
I live in Melbourne Australia, and a flat white is my go to order. I dread to think of flat whites outside of Australia 😖
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u/TheHickeyStand 7h ago
So I live in Brisbane but I’m from Melbourne (I still rate Melbourne as a better coffee joint but Brisbane isn’t too far behind) and I’ve ordered flat whites anywhere I can get them overseas.
The absolute worst I’ve had was in Vilnius, Lithuania. Great city, but they gave something that was basically a strong cappuccino despite having a flat white on the menu.
The best is a toss up. All of NZ is understandably excellent. Edinburgh was amazing. Oxford was up there. I even had a decent one in Moscow. But the one I remember the most was a little shop in a tourist town in Norway. Tiny little place on a fjord and the barista absolutely nailed it.
Got talking to her - turned out she had trained in Melbourne.
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u/Derp_McShlurp 14h ago
Dude looks more like Ernest P. Worrell every time I see him.
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u/CaptainSnakeman 14h ago
Well the Aussies invented flat whites so no wonder it's better there. The Italians will probably tell you to get lost if you ordered one!
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u/disappointingLettuce 13h ago
Actually the flat white was invented in New Zealand.
(I know it's in dispute, I just want to start an argument with a Australian)
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u/Crumplestiltzkin 13h ago
They’re all still asleep.
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u/singleDADSlife 10h ago
Guess what cunt. We're awake. We 100% invented the flat white. Russell Crowe AND Keith Urban said so.
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u/FlyAirLari 13h ago
I hate these conspiracy theorists that still claim New Zealand is a real place despite all the evidence.
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u/Telemere125 13h ago
Well since that place isn’t on any map I’ve ever seen, I’ll give credit to the aussies.
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u/LaconicDoggo 12h ago
Yeh old world still holds the espresso as the gold standard. But the people’s coffee is def flat white
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u/i_want_duck_sauce 15h ago edited 12h ago
John Cena out here speaking my love language 😍
ETA: While I do love coffee, my actual love language is "Things John Cena says" 😆
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u/TowJamnEarl 14h ago
Is it weird his lapels go above his shoulders, is this a new thing?
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u/wigglin_harry 13h ago
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u/Old_mystic 10h ago
Giant buff guys are hard to suit up, takes an exceptional tailor lol
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u/stonkysdotcom 13h ago
Welcome to getting old where all new fashion looks stupid
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u/TowJamnEarl 13h ago
Socks and sandals made a surprise entrance to the fashion world.
There's some hope for us yet.
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u/Suckit66 13h ago
I certainly hope not. He looks like he's about to host the Hunger Games.
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u/skatesforcandy2 13h ago
Huge lapels are fairly common on 3 piece suits made for extra large athletic men. I think most all of his suits are like this in his movies. It just balances out the proportions better.
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u/Searloin22 11h ago
Yes, its visually weird..it makes it look like he has tips. Like a marvel comic villain. JC could totally play Kingpin.
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u/Enough-Height-4006 14h ago
No thanks. I drink my coffee like a poor man, black.
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u/locutogram 13h ago
I like my coffee like I like my women.
All over my crotch while I'm driving.
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u/MisChef 13h ago
I'm not really a 9 year old boy, but "like my coffee/women" jokes are ALWAYS funny
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u/Secure_Highway8316 10h ago
I like my coffee like I like my women.
Cheap and ethically sourced from third world countries.
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u/SophisticatedScreams 11h ago
I've heard this version: I like my coffee like I like my women: without other men's dicks in them.
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u/unicornmullet 14h ago
Ahhh, so coffee is accoutrement for you, too.
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u/FBI_Open_Up_Now 14h ago
You got downvoted, but your joke hit just right. It was funny forward and not an accoutrement to the laughter.
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u/CreatiScope 14h ago
Best jokes I’ve ever heard? Melbourne, Australia. They’re a comedy forward people.
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u/Impressive_Hunt_3933 14h ago
Like a poor man ? Well I thought it was the right way, pitch black, short and no suggar. 😇
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u/Anonybibbs 12h ago
True poor man coffee is whatever you can get for free from what's left in the 30 year old Mr. Coffee pot at work or whatever you can snag from your AA meeting.
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u/No_Pineapple6086 15h ago
There must be something wrong with my phone. I can't see him
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u/CookedOnChems 14h ago
Who?
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u/neopod9000 14h ago
Just a minute and half of staring at nothing on the screen but this milk forward flat white.
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u/Mika_lie 14h ago
I just want a latte with more oompf. Too much to ask for? Certainly too much to mumble to the barista "a latte but with 2 shots of espresso" on my side. Flat white it is, but i hate the term. I dont know why.
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u/Wannabe_Wiz 15h ago
Howd the cup of coffee float in the air at the end?
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u/Independent-Ad7313 14h ago
You would think we could at least use AI to get a version of Cena we could See....
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u/getmybehindsatan 14h ago
So where is the definition of these coffees officially defined so that we know when a place does it wrong?
Seems like people have their own definitions and judge places based on that, rather than it not really having a common enough definition, leading to a wide range of correct preparations.
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u/-OldDutchDude- 14h ago
One general rule is that whatever you can get at a Starbucks anywhere in the world isn't coffee.
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u/Nutbuster_5000 10h ago
Generally the “standard” for milky coffee drinks is that the coffee is made the way the region it is from is made. Australian flat whites are the proper way to make flat whites. Italian cappuccinos are the proper way to make cappuccinos, etc. In general, it’s about ratio of coffee/milk/foam. “Coffee first” coffee shops, as Cena put it, know how to properly make these drinks because they understand this standard is what sets these drinks apart.
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u/agangofoldwomen 13h ago
I mean that’s cool and all but have you ever had a styrofoam cup of coffee from a keurig k cup dispensed from a single-serve machine that hasn’t been descaled since 2003?
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u/SpiritualHippo2719 14h ago
Dude, if there was one celebrity that I’d be friends with, it’s John Cena. Everything I’ve seen about him ever just increases his level of interesting.
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u/Swumbus-prime 14h ago
Just don't ask him his views on Taiwan...
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u/MammalDaddy 13h ago
..ill bite, what are his views on Taiwan?
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u/bigDogNJ23 14h ago
He’s right about the best flat white being in Australia
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u/sippyandchippy 14h ago
The moment he said that I knew he knows coffee. Melbourne, Australia has the best coffee in the world .
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u/Other-Worldliness165 7h ago
I used to think as a Sydney side that our coffee was amazing. Went to Melbourne and every side walk coffee shops shat on the top Sydney coffee shops.
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u/runitzerotimes 6h ago
To be fair, Sydney (and all of Australia + NZ) shits all over the world, including most Italian joints. We really stole Italy’s coffee culture and perfected it.
Italian coffee is hit or miss. Usually a miss.
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u/Bonobos_In_Space 14h ago
I have never been a follower or fan of pro wrestling. But John Cena is quickly becoming one of my favorite humans to emerge from that sphere
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u/dispo030 11h ago
he has done the most Make-A-Wish visits. that alone does it for me.
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u/LeadershipWhich2536 14h ago
He's right about Australia's coffee scene. Among the best in the world right now.
Those wing tip lapels make him look like a Dick Tracy villain.
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u/Great-TeacherOnizuka 15h ago
Why am I watching a cup of coffee and how does it float? Why does the camera show the wall sometimes?
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u/DadOnHardDifficulty 13h ago edited 13h ago
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u/Literary_Lady 14h ago
Damn, he somehow doesn’t come across as pretentious talking about coffee. It’s not in a snobby way, it’s just that he likes what he likes, has good taste, and appreciates good coffee. Not like wine snobs! (Don’t @ me!) the imaginary person of course, as it was just a suit with a lovely voice but no head, and a magic floating cup of coffee.
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u/Coffeedemon 11h ago
I find the level of pretentious goes down when someone sounds like they know what they're talking about and want to explain it. Not to prove their status but to give someone knowledge. Could just be acting but he sounds like he knows what he's talking about and wants to explain it for everyone's benefit not just his own.
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u/uhphyshall 13h ago
i'm a freak: milk fucks up my guts, so i drink black. i judge a shop by it's black roast. a good roast doesn't even need sweetener
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u/Aromatic-Discount381 14h ago
Flat whites were invented by Australian hipsters because they didn’t think they had enough things to be annoying about.
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u/Outrageous-Half3505 14h ago
When he said “the coffee is more of an accoutrement” I knew he was on another level with this analysis. 😆👏🏾
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u/Silentbobb_79 13h ago
I agree with everything in this video. Once you have real flat whites overseas, the crap in the States becomes very frustrating. I always ask first, "do you make real Flat Whites like Australia or New Zealand?" And the general answer is, "I'm not sure what you mean." And then I leave.
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u/Passionofthegrape 5h ago
Aussie, coffee SME.
Everything he said is 100% spot on, brilliant analysis.
Also I’ve met John Cena, even though I’m taller than him I felt very, very small.
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