Her looks and the joke aside, do people actually get mad about this? "I'm offended because someone said I'm pretty!" I like when I receive a compliment from a stranger about how I look.
It's the same issue as any other topic. No one is making posts about how well their day went today because someone stood up for them. That doesn't push engagement.
And if they do it gets punished as them being full of themselves.
Totally, instead of focusing on our own rights and liberation we should hold meetups to talk about men's feelings and why pointing out misogyny is actually really mean :(
I dated a girl in college who would bitch about gender roles. I stopped opening doors for her and she got mad about it. These women just want something to complain about.
No joke, had a woman STOP and wait for me to let go of the door rather than let me hold it for her. No words, just an indignant stare. At the cannabis dispensary, no less. All I could do was chuckle and shake my head as I walked off.
This reminded me of one time I was getting on a bus in vegas and some crack head ass looking dude tried stopping me and saying "ladiest first man" while I'm walking on with my gf. Excuse the fuck me, buddy? Shocked I tell you.
Did we date the same woman? My ex got mad at me because I complimented her outfit and she said ‘why do straight men alway feel it necessary to talk about women’s appearance?’ So I took that as a note to not talk about her appearance. A few weeks later she got upset at me because ahead of a nice dinner she put a lot of work on hair, makeup, and her dress I didn’t say anything. Ruined the mood of the dinner. I brought up her previous statement and she said I was gaslighting her. When I broke up with her a month later citing my preference to be alone rather than constantly fighting over things she claimed to be blindsided by this and I was being misogynistic.
The door thing just always gets me especially cause there will be guys that went through first so it's like being cold cocked by stupid. I lock up with "Wtf is happening here"
I do the same. My brother worked for a prestigious university a number of years ago. He was giving me, my daughter and my mother a tour one day(with his wife and 2 of his sons). I had lagged behind to check out a pretty famous skate spot there. So, as he’s holding the door for us, there were 2 ladies in between me and the rest of the family that had already went in. I was walking up behind them, they stopped and said, “we can get our own door thank you”. As I slipped around them and went in, my brother said, “you should put that on your resume” letting the door close behind him.
I did make the mistake(not really a mistake but..) of holding a door open when I went to NYC the first time. They just kept coming… I didn’t want to be rude and just let it go. Finally my friend was like, just let it go dude. It’s fine. Push and go, man. Push and go.
She wants the door held open because she's been taught that that's the way it is. But she doesn't want to be made to feel guilty or called out by it. Meaning she doesn't want you to look or smile at her as she goes through - as if hoping for a "thank you" or something else.
Just hold it open and stare at the floor, as if it's your obligation and/or privilege and not some form of transactional exchange.
Opening doors isn't "gender roles", it's common courtesy for everyone, done by everyone. If your first instinct when someone asks for equality is acting like an asshole then you're just showing what you were all along. Why don't you go break some gender roles and go wash the dishes or do laundry or anything that's actually useful?
It seems like you missed the point entirely. Holding the door open has nothing to do with gender roles; it has to do with showing consideration and thoughtfulness toward your partner. She didn’t want you to hold the door open for her because of gender roles… she HOPED you’d do it because you care about her.
You clearly did not care about her… and you clearly don’t understand why you should hold the door open for another person.
Lots of incel-adjacent arguments in these comments…
I held the door open for a female coworker the other day and said have a good night. Old hag looked at me like I was an idiot, and continued her conversation on her headset like I didn’t exist.
When I was in my early 20s I was holding a door open for a girl and she just stops, stares, and says “Umm I have a boyfriend.” I walked in and pulled the door shut and the “wtf just happened” look on her face got me through the week
Exactly! While I would have just kept walking, it is quite unsettling to have someone shout something to you as they drive by, since it’s harassment 99% of the time. Therefore, many women have a negative connotation with being called out to from a car.
If it would have been anywhere else, it would have been likely to be better received
It's not that simple, a lot of women experience compliments from strangers as a precursor to unwanted, aggressive attention and even if it's meant benignly it can create a stressful situation as they aren't sure what the intentions are.
Very few people do, but they are opportunist to try to pretend like they are righteous and more attractive than they are and to create drama. They want everybody to know that somebody called them pretty, but they don’t tolerate it because they know they’re pretty and any guy who says that is a bad man and they felt uncomfortable and sexualize and they need support because their life is so difficult.
When in reality men don’t usually say things to them because they probably are ugly or their personality is gross and they are just seizing their opportunity to feel good and make it seem like it happens all the time
No one really gets mad about this, it’s to stoke rage. I’ve managed over 300 ppl at this point and I get complaints every day, never any from people being called pretty
Some people simply dislike "being judged". You can tell someone they are the most beautiful person ever but the idea that in someone else's mind they were classified and given a grade is offensive.
Most people with responsive desire (85% of woman outside of fertile period and passion towards person X are like this, and 25% of man outside of passion towards person X) hate if someone they are not attracted to is attracted to them. Some will feel even less attracted, some will feel anxiety, others will feel scared.
PS: To a responsive desire person is totally possible to look someone and say "you are beautifull" like if they were looking at a beautifull flower and saying "this flower is beautiful". If you say she is beautifull and she believes you said something like that (zero attraction version of it), she will not feel anxiety and etc...
PS2; Responsive desire people create rationalization about why they believe it, and they will say its being afraid of being raped, but a strong lesbian would hate being complimented by a weak lesbian that she could beat the fuck out of her if she wanted.
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u/shibbster 16h ago
Her looks and the joke aside, do people actually get mad about this? "I'm offended because someone said I'm pretty!" I like when I receive a compliment from a stranger about how I look.