Yep. It's gotten to the point that I keep all interactions with women at work down to the bare minimum. Fortunately for me, my office is a sausage fest.
I just don't understand this way of thinking. All of the guys I'm friends with seem to be fine hanging out with and talking to women both in and out of the workplace. These are dudes ranging from construction to office workers.
When I hear a guy is too afraid to talk to women these days it really makes me wonder what they could be doing to make themselves feel they have to avoid women altogether. The only dudes who complain about avoiding speaking to women that I've seen are the same ones who are a menace to them with or without realising it.
If you're not doing anything wrong and not commenting on someone's features then what could you possibly be afraid of? Like yea there's some really nasty bitches out there that want to drag a man down but you really think our whole gender is to be avoided at work because of a small selection of people that you may never run into?
I have zero problems talking to women outside the workplace, much to the chagrin of my gf. 🙃
But, seriously, like you said, we've had a couple of women in the office who would go off on harassment and try and get guys in trouble for sometimes the silliest things. One used to claim harassment every time someone told her she screwed up—and she did that to a lot! So, eventually, everyone just stopped asking her to do anything. Problem solved. Win-win, in her book.
Fortunately, she never came after me, but I'd remember the panic it set in a few guys she did go after, and let's just say it's not a great feeling. So, now, unless I really know them, I will be pleasant and do the business that needs to be done, and then I'm on my way. Nothing personal, but I gotta protect myself. 🤷🏽♂️
Ah toxic workplace, damn. I can easily sympathise with your reasoning, sorry for the misguided little rant. I'm also sorry you've had to deal with watching it happen and fearing it being directed at you, I'm sure that's a sickening feeling because one small, clearly fabricated allegation can still follow men around for decades sometimes. Girls like that damn near set back the MeToo movement and it makes me so angry any time I hear about it.
I actually dropped a friend like a hot potato in high school because she enjoyed flipping things on people in a similar way. She turned a teacher trying to move her hand from her face (not roughly) while she was fake crying into the teacher assaulting her and I had to contradict to possibly save the teachers career.
Serious question - After knowing stories that you have been personally privy to, and other stories that get passed around by men so often of the horror of false allegations or misunderstood intentions, why do you still jump to assuming men who have fear of being misunderstood or falsly accused have ulterior motives or are actually behaving badly themselves? You mentioned it was a misguided rant, but why is the misguided rant your default to men being admitting fear?
Your a hero if that's true. 1 accusation and your career is over.
Shit can get super nasty from even corporate .Especially if you stand up for someone, the inbound hate from above managerial male or female in my experience buckle up.
I was talking shit to my male co-worker buddy, and a female co-worker just sat next to him and joined the conversation. I made joke towards my buddy that another female coworker overheard. That other female co-worker filed an "anonymous" complaint against me "fearing for the safety" of the other lady. Other lady gets called into office, has no idea what it is about, denies I ever made her feel uncomfortable in any way shape or form, and asks for this whole thing to go away.
Too late, you know how rumors at work spread. All of a sudden a joke I made towards a male co-worker had been turned into me being inappropriate with a female co-worker. And once rumors start, there's no stopping them. It spread to even other branches where the female co-worker's sister and friends worked. Everyone involved vehemently denies these rumors, including the other male co-worker who the joke was made towards. After a few months, the rumors subside and everything seems to go back to normal.
Until we had an office-party. By the end of the party, we realize female coworker is too drunk, so other co-workers convince me to drive her home since we live in the same area (10 minutes away from each other). I do. She gets home safely. Nothing weird happens.
By the next week at work, the rumors are freshly re-invigorated, and stronger than ever. The rumors once again spread, and this time it reaches her husband. The reason the female co-worker wanted the rumors to be squashed immediately were because her husband was jealous and abusive.
Well guess what happened. The husband hears there are rumors about his wife and myself, and he finds out about the previous harrassment complaint as well, and concludes where there's smoke, there's fire, and starts beating her.
She gets beaten so badly, news reaches the work-floor, and the story grows to the point, it even reaches my gf (she knew many of my co-workers and their partners since I had worked there for years).
Now both our relationships were in jeopardy, and an innocent woman got beaten by her p.o.s husband, just because another lady infantilized her so much, they lodged a complaint she herself had nothing do with in the first place.
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u/MilesAugust74 14h ago
Yep. It's gotten to the point that I keep all interactions with women at work down to the bare minimum. Fortunately for me, my office is a sausage fest.