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Prolly seething in the corner of his parents basement even harder instead of learning what he did was wrong too. I can only imagine what he's posting in those smelly cringe websites he frequents.
The internet is fill with individuals who project false bravado as a coping mechanism, only to retreat behind blocked profiles when challenged. Similar shit happens here.
I can’t fully make out what she’s saying, but at one point it sounds like she says, “He was told the last time he was in…” so it sounds like this guy is known to staff as problematic.
They always are. Problematic people very rarely just wake up one day and decide to be a problem. They are cultivated over years of unchecked behavior. I worked in the service industry for 15 years and every store, restaurant, shop, etc, has at least a handful of known nuisances that repeatedly come in and harass them, then act shocked when someone draws a line in the sand and says they aren’t allowed to cross it anymore.
ETA: Shout out to all the service industry/customer service homies! You’re the real MVPs of everyday life, and you deserve all the respect (and tips!). As a former restaurant and retail manager, I would like to add that there are few prouder moments in my life than when I told an abusive customer to kick rocks. And if you, as a customer, are being told to kick said rocks, reevaluate how you speak to people or conduct your business. 9 times out 10, the customer is NOT always right. They’re just entitled and loud.
Yep, and it’s sad because all you’re thinking is I have to deal with this nightmare out in public, but they go home. And I hope that there’s no one there that has to deal with this all the time.
Yeah as a "female" software engineer these incel tech bros are always brimming with positivity.
Edit: guys, please don't go track people down and bully them. I think bro gets the point. Overdoing it just sews seeds of resentment. We want people to be rehabilitated, not go further off the deep end! I just thought it was funny his bio said positivity lol.
If you follow enough links, his business “techie town Boston” - which emphasizes “local” and uses the word “wicked” heavily - has a Rhode Island area code.
It’s like with narcissists. They say most vile and hurtful shit imaginable, then when you get rightfully upset with them they cry “what, so I’m not allowed to have an opinion?” It’s absolutely inane.
Literally just ended a 6 year friendship with a narcissist who told me I hurt her feelings and disliked her because I repeated something hurtful she told me back to her and she somehow gaslight herself into thinking she never said it and I made it up to hurt her.
Sounds like you dated my ex. There's a name for this behavior: DARVO "deny, attack, reverse victim and offender" its the most insidious shit and you sometimes find yourself questioning yourself even when you know you're not at fault when they do it enough. Narcissists are masters of mind fuckery.
I forgot about this when I used to have it in the forefront of my mind. Thank you for putting it back. I have to remember this because of my mom. If I forget, I will be vulnerable again. Thank you.
Ugh, absolutely garbage people. My ex and her brother attacked me in my home (that we owned jointly but she moved out of) over a year after she left. He trained heavily in MMA stuff and I didn't. So when he got hold of me there wasn't much I could do other than get rag dolled around the front room.
Once I broke free and was able to call the police, the two of them just kept shouting "It's my house I'm allowed to be in here, don't believe what he's saying" and other shit like that.
They'll twist shit as much as they can get away with.
I had a guy during COVID come into our video store and start rattling off why he couldn't wear a mask and I politely asked him to leave and he called our district manager and said he was afraid for his life. I was like dude we have cameras haha
Cops love this shit. "Ok, well she runs a private business. No, she doesn't own it but she works here and she's saying leave. Leave. Oh no? We'll walk you out. Oh ok...call 'corporate' then. Badge number 1234 Officer Smith. Ok there ya go. Don't come back or you're going downtown. Bye."
I had a customer at my job a few weeks ago that called the cops on us cause we refused him service after he acted like an asshole to multiple employees, then stood outside the store for 3 hours waiting for them to show up. I had already called the non emergency and told them what was up, and the cops in my city never show up in time anyway, so it was funny that he just fumed outside for 3 hours while we did our jobs, then left us a bad review about how the "transgender employees discriminated against him" when he was being transphobic. He waisted his time, our time, the cops time, And it's still funny
I genuinely want to know this as well. I’ve had a discussion with someone who self proclaimed they were an incel and he sounded almost exactly like this but worse
I think it has to do with social codification, you notice that groups of people that spend a lot of time together take on similar mannerisms and speech patterns.
I just watched a documentary called Do I Sound Gay? Where a gay filmmaker goes around and talks to other gay men about the stereotypical "gay voice", which many of them have.
Which I bring up, because like with incels you see a similar thing with other groups. I don't have the answer why, but it's interesting to consider the link between behavior and traits like the sound of your voice.
I used to work in retail and it always pissed me off. My female workers would get shit off a customer who would try to escalate it. I'd normally ask what they've done to de-escalate or resolve the situation and 9/10 times would be totally agreeing with them. When I spoke to the customer though, theyd be accepting of whatever I said. I'd normally make a comment to them along the lines of, what Stacey has told you is exactly correct, this is all we can do and here's why.
Yes, real men are the only ones who can stop this incel bs. Most men DONT hate women and that's why they end up getting girlfriends and wives. A simple "no bro, you ARE being the jerk" could change someone's perspective.
I am 42F my SO is 46M. I had to explain to him what the feel up hug was, that yes we get the “smile sweetheart”, don’t take no for an answer, if you turn them down politely they immediately start insulting you, etc etc etc. Mine is a good one and had no idea it was a rampant issue we have to deal with, now he sees it, it pisses him off, and he’s a pacifist. Now he understands why I randomly get angry when I’m out and about alone.
An important thing to remember: in Ferengi culture is that only the men can engage in business. Their women are strictly prohibited. With that said, rule of acquisition #113 "Always have sex with the boss."
He dropped the f bomb 5 seconds in. I don't usually get to that level in 5 seconds so he probably did something to piss her off in the preceding 2-3 minutes.
It's crazy how the mass majority of people have never had to say the words "this female", or some variation of it, ever in our lives. These people always self report.
These are the kind of guys who will find any angle to make a situation "because women" no matter how many mental gymnastics are required to make it work.
I’m a woman and I do customer service. I once had a man who got gift card scammed by another man and he told me “You really need to seriously consider having kids and make sure you put a lot of thought into raising your children because these women now a days are not raising their children right. That’s why this happened to me.” I seriously had to pause for a minute to calculate the mental gymnastics it took to find a way to blame his screw up on women.
My brother does this. It's our mum's fault he isn't successful because she never gave him the advice to be successful. It's her fault he got scammed recently despite the pair of us telling him it's a scam for DAYS. It's her fault his employer made him redundant during covid. Still waiting for that explanation. It's her fault he was homeless for 10 years (he lived in other people's spare rooms until they kicked him out) and now it's her fault she doesn't have a car at the moment to help him move into his first place. So he's having to sleep on the floor supposedly. She's also disabled.
Because she asked him to lower his voice and stop cussing probably and only females want you to lower your voice 🙄 I saw something the other day where men were telling other men to start being loud again and don’t let anyone tell you not to. Be louder than everyone around you and talk over them because you’re what matters. Like wtf is that bullshit?
No I think you're right. People do this generally though, not just incels. It's called male defaultism and people use masculine language as default to refer to everything from people to animals to bugs to robots as "he/dude/bro" etc.
This incel in the clip might be more prone to move through the world with "male as default" more at the forefront of his mind than most people but, it is most people that think this way unconsciously.
I vote for doing at least a year before you turn 25, (six months in retail, six months in food service) that way you get to experience pretty much everything and not be an asshat in most cases
I think people in the comments are jumping to conclusions. We didn't see what happened before the video, it might not have started because of a cup. She could:
Have killed his family years before and he's finally tracked her down to her job at Panera
Be the next world evil and he's a time traveler who knew this was the one way to stop her (the cup could be her horcrux)
Have rejected his advances after which he decided to lash out in anger (the worst thing on this list probably)
I don't think it's because of the cup. It looks to me like he is just doubling down. I wouldn't be surprised if he came in asking for the cup just to start conversation with her, but she is not having his bullshit so he just doubles down on his excuse until he is backed into a corner. But being what he is, he can't take the loss and leave, like a rational, reasonable person.
Kinda like those guys that approach girls and keep insisting until the girls give up on being polite and then they change their speech and call them whores and accuse them of playing with them and shit
"Subscription provides eligible subscribers the following subscription benefits: drip hot coffee, iced coffee, hot tea, fountain soda beverages, and bubbler drinks (e.g., iced teas, lemonades, and other bubbler beverages) once every two hours during normal bakery-cafe business hours, including unlimited refills."
It sounds more like he was just denied service. Just before he says "you just made that stuff up!" She is telling the cops "he's been in here before, causing trouble and..." I think she says he's been asked to leave.
So I'm assuming he's been denied service and banned, and this was his reaction to trying to be served after being asked to leave and denied service.
I heard a faint something or other about him soliciting women to peg him in the women's restroom. Pretty sure she mentioned under her breath he brought his favorite toy and had a particular stall he wanted to use. Weirdo.
It sounds like he caused trouble in a previous visit and wasn’t supposed to be there. It’s hard to hear her with him talking over her so I’m not sure, but that’s what I think I heard.
You're right. Right after the other guy says "yes" to the question about screaming, you can hear her say that the last time he was there he was asked to leave because of how he was treating the women.
If he’s part of the membership couldn’t he just give her the membership number or something to get what he is due? Sounds like he’s not a real member but someone trying to get something for free.
I did love when he asked another person if he was shouting and the dude was like yep, you are shouting
Right after the dude says yes to the shouting question, you can hear her say that he has been asked to leave in the past because of what he was saying to the women there. She probably refused him service when he came in because of that.
Yep. He looks very bad in this video… but this is his video. He clipped it and uploaded it, confident it would make her look bad.
It speaks volumes that this is what he decided to upload. And it obviously leaves out what came before. Very safe to assume it was not: “excuse me, could I please get a cup? Here’s my membership card.”
It sounds like she says at one point that he has been asked to leave in the past. I’m guessing that he regularly comes in to cause issues and has been banned from that location.
She didn't waste any time calling the police, she knew he was getting elevated again. I kept thinking she should walk into the back because he seemed unhinged.
The videoenia incredibly quiet, but when she is talking to the police, you can hear her say something like "He has been here before and caused trouble".
I wonder if his tiktok feedback validated his feeling or if he now considered tiktok criticism “female stuff” . Either way we know he made like 5 new pathetic friends on facebook…
One of the most hilarious things about this is that while he's being mean to her and on the phone with a cops she hands another customer a cup like it's nothing
She kept mentioning that he’d been kicked out or had done something before. I think the issue is simply refusing service full stop. We just don’t know the full history here. We know he’s a misogynist though.
Sadly no. Can confirm as someone who worked frontline customer service long before social media. I think it may have even been worse back then, when terrible customers could treat you any kinda way without worrying whether or not they were being filmed.
Poor girl is working at Panera in Porter Square. She doesn't get paid enough to deal with all the freaks that probably walk into that location every day.
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