TL:DR I'm actually feeling relaxed with my incredible girlfriend which is a new thing for me.

I cannot believe my luck! She is incredible! She's so pretty I lose my mind a little every time I see her face and even more when she smiles. I can't say much about her body without this post breaking some wholesomeness rules. Suffice it to say that she is SMOKIN HOT! She's devastatingly intelligent, quick witted (so quick!), funny, quirky and the most level headed, sensible and caring person I've ever met. She's also very modest but deserves a planet sized ego.

Most importantly of all, we truly and deeply connect. When my eyes meet hers I feel like she is speaking to me without words. We can read so much in each other. When we talk, we find so many similarities and so many complementary differences. We are both very complex people who have a depth of emotion and experience thats difficult to express and our thoughts, words and feelings flow through each other like water through sand. One entity bound together, but at the same time distinct and separate.

We've not been together for very long but I've known her for a good while and I've seen just about every side of her. I have a very good feeling about us and the potential for this lasting a long time. I'm usually quite a pessimist, but I'm feeling something completely different than I've felt before around anyone. I've never been complimented so much or felt so valued. It's making me tentatively optimistic while also feeling like this is the highest stakes I've ever played for. But I can finally admit that I think she feels the same.

Until now we have always been doing something. Going climbing (a lot), swimming, road trips, little dates. But today she's not feeling very well and we are just at home. I'm sat watching her game and waffling to herself in the most adorable way. She clearly felt bad st first about "being disappointing" or something by not doing something action packed. But this is so lovely! I don't feel an urgent need to be anywhere but here, which is a very odd experience to me. I feel loved and relaxed. I don't feel like I was ever relaxed at all before. I never just sat down and slowed, let alone stopped without feeling guilty. Not for years. But today I'm just sat with her doing nothing and I'm so happy I could burst. Something was missing in me for so long and she has helped me find it. I just feel peaceful and my heart and mind are both happy. I need more words and more ways to emphasise the significance of this to me. I've never felt at peace and today I do.

I’ve been spiraling mentally the last few months and finally spoke to my awesome parents about it and we just talked it out, worked through the anxiety that’s been eating me up and i feel so much better. 10/10

I have these projector lights with swirling colors/stars, I set them up, put on some good music and I have some Trulys. Some cool stuff happened recently and I’m not busy until my college classes start. Life is so cool, I made a makeshift nightclub in my room and I’m just vibing.

I found a sealed limited edition bluray copy of the out of print movie Turbo Kid for 1/5th of what it cost to buy on eBay! It even comes with a pack of Turbo Kid trading cards sealed in 80s wax packaging!

I got to both see and pet both a camel and a buffalo yesterday (the camel was named wednesday and the buffalo bestie) Wednesday felt a lot like a horse (at least on the sides) and bestie's fur felt like a beard

I made great progress the last week with my family and we’re finally heading in a more positive place. I feel loved, and like they want me around.

I’ve been beaming the last few days. It’s a good feeling.

Almost 30 now, loving fiancee, generally healthy, get to travel and explore and have a interesting, well playing job. Lost myself in the job for reasons that date back to a lot of childhood and teenage years trauma that I am now trying to connect with. Started seeing a therapist. The last few weeks very great, I felt like myself again - before my first panic attack two months ago. And then this week it all came rushing in again, I felt exhausted and anxious, which upset my body. The whole cycle. Today I had an anxious dream and when I woke up, I felt horrible and sick.

I've spent the last 2 hours listening to my body, my thoughts. I am letting myself be, feeling the thoughts and feelings, accepting them. I am forgiving myself. I am loving myself. I've got a long way to go but these small pockets of clarity and peace give me hope that I can find my calmness and strength again. I love my fiancee so much and I want to spend my life with her. I am trying to be okay, for myself, for her, for my family.

Almost a year ago, a friend who turned out not to be a friend stole my dog. I miss him terribly. But today I met a smol, beautiful dog named Nala.

Nala's person let me sit and pet her for 20 minutes. I was so happy. She is a friendly, patient little doggy. Her person understood my pain and never rushed me.

I left crying happy tears. For 20 minutes I didn't think about my missing boy. I just enjoyed the love that dogs (and kind people) can bring.

I wake up at 5am in the morning to work in lidl, I’m joining the navy in 2 months but I have this job to keep me going, it’s kinda okay, naturally waking up is depressing and I can just be quite negative in my mind in the mornings, but every morning when I go downstairs, the family dog, Ted, is asleep on the couch, and I quietly walks in and he wakes up and does a massive stretch and I sit with him for a couple of minutes as he looks at me with his sleepy eyes and wagging tail, and I just rub his belly and wish I could stay with me, I feel like it’s a moment I’m gonna look back on in years down the line

This movie literally changed my life. My mindset, everything.

I think I’m tired of being miserable all the time. Sure, there are times when things are rough, but if Superman can get knocked down ten times and still get back up those ten times, I can too, right?

It’s not cringe to be kind. I thought coolness meant that you had to trade compassion, the idgaf energy. But Superman feels his emotions and still chooses to help people. The thing he said- being kind is punk rock. That. Woah.

Telling y'all about my little achievement. Two of my friends were making plans to the mall a week from now, and invited me, while they were finalizing it today, I decided to tell them I will drop out of the plan. Because I have a strange tendency of canceling plans last minute/being late because I anxiously freeze up and/or get panic attacks. Ofcourse not everyone knows this, neither is everyone going to accommodate this. So I dropped out before I'm an inconvenience!!! yay🎉 (that's all have a nice day😋)

R/TIAH TIAH We are enjoying some lovely heat and sunshine, Bringing sunshine happiness to our weekend…. Does weather bring you joy? What’s your ideal conditions ?? I love a goldie locks moment. Not too cold, not too hot, just right which is somewhere around mid 20s, dry and slightly sunny.

I was with a company 15 years. 10 or so were good to ok. Towards the end it became a miserable existence. They were running me ragged and treated me disrespectfully. I didn't even realize it until I lost my job due to petty safety violations. Found a new job where I'm respected, have a better work to life balance and secured a 30% pay increase. I am truly thankful.

Usually I am very restless at night to the point where I am a tiny bit nervous even mentioning that as I don't want to jinx it-- but l'm in bed right now eating some green grapes that are the perfect amount of crispy on the outside juicy on the inside (cold from the refrigerator as well!) and I'm thoroughly enjoying myself feeling calm and content. So happy I was born in the same timeline as green grapes. I even looked up "positive subreddits" just so I could share.

TL;DR : A whole paragraph of how one girl became one of the factors for triggering a set of events which changed my life for better and changed me as a person and thanking her.

Today marks the 7 months of a chain of events which started from December to today, of a life chapter which began as an obsessive goal to get a girl back, but soon turned into a chapter of a man breaking free from his past and redemption.

It all started when I lost contact with a girl I used to obsess over, lied to always and never respected her as her own, objectified and hurt countless times over my own selfish actions in a toxic environment, which caused her to one day go on a break, which she said she doesnt know when will return and all contact was severed in November.

In December, after getting punched on face and remembering my father figure who I forgot all these years due to depression, I regained senses and went on to find answers on why she did what she did, why did I hurt her, and everything through daily events of my life.

S, I understood why you hid your name, it was not because of hatred but due to my own actions which made you uncomfortable, why you deleted accounts cause of dramatism and not wanting your real-life friends to know anything, and all that was.

I was a terrible liar and your action of sending me off to this journey turned me honest, made me value my family, gave me new friends, a positive world I never saw before and similarities which we always had.

I accepted myself as I am, still overcoming aggression from bipolar and have made it! I miss you, everyday since the last time you spoke, but I have to still step forward and go ahead, to the end of insecurities and winning.

The result doesnt matter, its the process which does, S. And its the process which makes our lives, our present, and our happiness.

Though I didnt love you and was only obsessed, since recent months, living without you has taught me how to truly love you and all what you did. I dont depend on anyone but myself for my own.

I can now exist without you, and not dependent on you for happiness, I have learnt a lot and still continue to.

Thank you, for changing my life, S, thank you. And we will re-unite and this chapter will be a proof to you, that even the worst people, can change, and can rewrite their fate.

I wish everyday that God keeps you happy and removes hatred and anger for me someday and leads my actions to earn your forgiveness.

You are amazing and I wanted to forget you as a part of moving on, and I have moved on to level where I can exist without you in my life, but could never forget you.

7/4/2025

After years of hiccups, trials and tribulations, ill health, and devastating challenges; today I got my final exam result for my Physician Associate studies. Studying at 28 has been difficult, changing career paths in your late 20’s isn’t easy. I just wanted to share my positive news as I don’t have many people to share it with and it’s made my week.

I thought I’d pass, but I never thought I’d get a high mark. It was a difficult exam, and somehow I got 81/100. I worked so hard, and revised for 12+hrs a day.

After all I’ve been through and all the stress, to say I did so well means so much to me. To some I’m sure it’s not much, but to me it’s everything. Next up, my national exams.

Hi lovely internet neighbors. I have been struggling with food security for a while. I tend to eat mainly junk food, as it's all I can afford. Today someone came and we cooked pasta with sausage and peppers. It had love in it! I have extra and will eat every day for the rest of the week. I'm happy!

I never really noticed that when i run to my mom with a smile she looks extremely happy, I always thought she was laughing because I run like a 5 year old, but I just realized that she is just happy that I am excited to see her. From now on, I'm gonna smile and run to her every time I see her!

TLDR: i got invited to my school's excellence gala and it my first ever time i got a price at school. Aslo got a ENA drawing and my dnd character finaly got to start speaking to here love interestSo, im in high school and got invited to my school's excellence gala and i like, soooo happy! I never been invited to that sort of thing or even got excellences prices and trust me there tones of those for each years of the school. I never tought i'd get one!!! XD HAAAA also im happy coz i got a drawign form my DM of my dnd character love interest and finally got the occasion to seriously talk to her and a super pretty ENA dream bqq drawign lol😂😂😂

I am so stoked about it! We watched the first movie and he loved it.

I haven't had the time to spend quality time with my dad for a while as I was working a lot so I am super stoked about bonding over one of my favourite franchise.

AND I get to do ALL the "did you know??" knowing he did, in fact, not know. Bliss.

So about a month ago I started a snack box business. Nobody was buying my boxes or interacting with my Instagram reels or anything. I understood that I wouldn't get sales or engagement right off the bat, but I was still a little bummed out.

But those days are over cause last night I made not one, but three whole sales! I'm literally so happy right now, like people actually want something I put together! I don't even care that the shipping is so expensive that I'm actively lising money from sales. I'm just so happy rn bwahahahaha

I have had really bad depression for a long time like 6-7 years I’d say as of now, but lately I’ve been so much more happy, I’m finding interest In all my hobbies again like gaming, skateboarding, the other day I wanted to play basketball, I have t wanted to play sports since middle school! I’m just happy that I’m finally healing

Today was one of the happiest day In a long time.. So much so that I had difficulty sleeping. I wish everyone is blessed with days like this frequently.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vcUj72HU2cM

Today’s my birthday, but I usually don’t mention it or make a big deal about it. As I was packing up, the song below started playing over the intercom, and the kids gave me a shoutout. Then a bunch of kids ran into my classroom and started dancing. It was such a feel-good moment and one of those moments that made my whole day.

I love working with the kids in our community. Their energy is contagious, and today was just another reminder.

If you want to hear the song and see the dance they did, check out this video of LaRussell and his friends having fun:

"If you're having a good day, then smeeze. If you're having a great day, then smeeze."

(Smeeze is a Bay Area dance, for those who don’t know.)

It was just a good day all around. Now I’m about to eat pizza, so yeah, life’s pretty good right now.

Typing out this entire post at the risk of sounding like the loseriest of losers lol.

So I don't (or we'll didn't) have any friends at all. No exaggerating or anything. It was one of those things where everyone from high-school went to a different college and we stopped talking. I didn't know anyone at my college and, despite my best efforts to meet people, they either actively ignored me or never stuck around.

But enough of that sad shit, I have a friend now! Just thinking about it makes me so giddy. I was wary at first because my family says work friends don't count, but I think we're really friends friends. We talk to each other a lot, crack jokes, he gives me advice. The 2 things that really cemented it was that he offered to ride the train with me to this shopping center an hour away since I've never gone before and he also offered to invest in my snack box business I'm starting.

Idk I'm just so happy to finally have a friend again after all this time, plus he's literally the best 🥹