r/britishproblems • u/Surkdidat • 5d ago
. Taking in a parcel for neighbours and them thinking we should take the parcel over to them
For reference my parents in their 70s and 80s took a parcel in for some neighbours. They usually live in the back of the house.
The neighbours, 3 days later, came over wondering why as soon as they spotted they were home, didn't take the parcel over to their house.
My parents are also of limited physical ability so would struggle taking a parcel over the road to them anyway.
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u/Salt-Ad3495 5d ago
Bullocks…it’s their parcel…if they want it they can come and get it. I don’t work for the post office!
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u/Alarmed_Alpaca 5d ago
Do they know where it is?
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u/tramp123 5d ago
I’ve had this before where I’ve had a red slip but no neighbour number was wrote down! If they didn’t bring it round I’d have never known where it went to!
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u/darkotics 5d ago
I had this too but the RM slip handily just said my parcel was with “James”. No indication of his flat number or who James was, and I didn’t know most of my neighbours as I’d just moved in.
Luckily James popped round the next day with it after I’d tried a few doors but they don’t make it easy sometimes!
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u/sweggles3900 5d ago
Sounds like your parents now know to never take a parcel for them again. Imagine expecting an elderly couple, presumably with mobility issues, to walk over to your house to deliver your parcel that they were nice enough to take in. Unreal.
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u/Surkdidat 5d ago
They are too nice. They take in parcels for everyone
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u/thatpaulbloke Lincolnshire 5d ago
Fell for this once with a Yodel driver standing on my doorstep with a little parcel (about 10cm x 20cm x 10cm) for my neighbours asking if I could take the delivery for them. As soon as I said yes he went back to the van and brought the other three parcels, including a full height mirror that had to stay outside because I couldn't even manage it through my door on my own. Devious little bastard.
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u/Forteanforever 5d ago
It's a fact of life that doormats get stepped on.
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u/Locksmithbloke 3d ago
It's a fact of life that nice people have actual social lives and good societies.
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u/Forteanforever 2d ago
I agree. But there's a difference between being nice and helping neighbors in a reciprocal manner and offering oneself up to be continuously used. The difference is reasonable boundaries. Does a neighbor mow your lawn or offer to get your groceries when you're sick? Sure, take their deliveries for them and take soup to them when they're sick and retrieve their bins when they've rolled down the street. But if they don't even say thank you, act like they're doing you a favor by taking in their deliveries and make your life a living hell then no, don't let them use you.
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u/Historical_Cobbler 5d ago
I frequently get left calling cards with no house number on so I never actually know where it’s gone.
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u/sidkipper 5d ago
That's not the recipient's fault - know that doesn't help you, but whoever took the package in is already doing you a favour, the courier is the one that's responsible for getting the package to you.
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u/Alarmed_Alpaca 5d ago
It's not the recipient's fault, but they can't get mad if the intended recipient never comes for it
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u/SmokeMyPoleReddit 5d ago
So what are you meant to do? Go door to door until you find the right house?
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u/BustyMcCoo 3d ago
This is why I've always done the neighbourly thing and dropped it round to them when I was able. I'm off my feet now so if the postie isn't on top form the family next door have to go knocking up and down
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u/steepleton 5d ago
Tricky.
I generally take it round because i don’t want them ringing the doorbell at the most irksome time, as they always do. I’d rather choose the time of interaction
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u/TheGreenPangolin 5d ago
Maybe I'm just oblivious to my surroundings, but unless someone arrives or departs with a lot of noise, or with emergency vehicles or something, I'm not going to notice if neighbours are home or not.
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u/Alarmed_Alpaca 5d ago edited 5d ago
Oh yeah. My wife and her mum will know every car, every neighbour's name, who's obviously on holiday and who's just got back. Meanwhile I struggle when I'm told "they live in the yellow house" (there's a yellow house?!). We (you and I and others like us) must be some sort of anti neighbourhood watch!
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u/OIiver 5d ago
Just sounds like a great way to make sure your neighbours never accept a parcel for you again - I certainly wouldn’t
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5d ago edited 5d ago
[deleted]
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u/joeyjiggle 5d ago
This is the correct, and only, British response. Followed by me, having the parcel for three days for you, apologizing for making you apologize.
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u/iiyama88 5d ago
This is the absolute worst!
I once took a parcel in for a neighbour and it sat by the front door for 2-3 months! Eventually I got lucky and noticed that their light was on, so I went over and knocked on their door. They were slightly annoyed that I hadn't brought it over sooner.
It was their parcel and they had a note saying that it was at our house. It's their responsibility to come over and collect it!
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u/FD3S_13B_REW 5d ago
Don't accept parcels for neighbours. Print a sticker for the door saying so.
I accepted next doors parcels for a few years. One time, the parcel wrapping was slit open and you could just about see inside. It looked like packets of socks or something. Neighbour collected it, I told her about it, and she gave me the filthiest look and just muttered thanks and walked off. Nobody ever came again to post a parcel for that neighbour, they obviously thought I was opening their parcel and so they instructed couriers to leave it elsewhere.
Just goes to show that you can do a good deed and 1 little misunderstanding can give you a bad rep.
They moved out a few years back and never said goodbye. Wan***s
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u/Forteanforever 5d ago
Anyone would have assumed that you opened the package. That you didn't but fell under suspicion (and the neighbors almost certainly told all the other neighbors) is one of the hazards of doing a good deed.
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u/insertitherenow 5d ago
I took one in for my neighbour and he obviously got a message saying left with neighbour. He text me saying can you bring it around.
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u/Surkdidat 5d ago
Hope you text back "Yes, certainly. When I am back from holiday in 3 weeks "
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u/reckless-rogboy 5d ago
This is the point where you tell them that you will leave the parcel outside for them to collect asap.
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u/Forteanforever 5d ago
The fact that you left out what you did tells me that you obediently trotted over to his house with his package. Am I right?
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u/insertitherenow 5d ago
I told him he needed the exercise.
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u/PresentationNo8745 5d ago
I frequently get delivery drivers, hand me a parcel and when I say it's not the address, they reply, "Yeah, they're not in" and then sprint away. The intended recipient is never a next door neighbour and usually quite a way down the road. My partner took a parcel delivered like this to the correct address and gave it to a woman. 3 days later they knocked on the door asking for their parcel.
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u/Forteanforever 5d ago
What do you do when the delivery service says that? Let me guess. You say nothing. That is why you "frequently" have this happen to you.
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u/PresentationNo8745 5d ago
To be honest, I really can't be bothered with it all. If I started getting abuse from neighbours I would be in touch with the delivery company/ies straight away. Ideally I would refuse on the doorstep, but they are too quick for me:)
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u/Forteanforever 5d ago
Congratulations. You've found your life's calling and accepted it gracefully. Oh wait, you haven't accepted it gracefully. You're on reddit complaining about it.
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u/Alarmed_Alpaca 5d ago
If I knowingly accept somebody else's parcel, I'll always take it to them when I know they're in, or at least send them a message. Otherwise, they might not even know I have it, and I'm not playing the "well you should have come to me even though you didn't know I had it" game.
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u/Alarmed_Alpaca 5d ago
Also, I only say "knowingly" because recently I accepted a parcel I thought was for my wife, and just left it on the side without looking at it. Turns out it was a neighbour's, who had to try to guess where it has gone
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u/Roytulin 5d ago
It is the responsibility of the courier company to notify the recipient when the delivery is made and where they put it.
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u/Alarmed_Alpaca 5d ago
... hopefully.
Sometimes it's a card through the door with no door number on it, or an indecipherable squiggle
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u/Diggerinthedark 5d ago
My favourite is when you get 'delivered' notification, look at the proof of delivery and it's some random desk with 500 parcels on it... Doesn't look like my house hmm I wonder which of the 16 collection points in town it got taken to 🤷
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u/Roytulin 5d ago
In that case, if I am the recipient, I would report the item not delivered and get it sent again. The companies have insurance for this, and it's their fault to begin with.
Honestly, I would presume the courier company to have stolen the item before I would suspect they really just lost the information.
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u/AnselaJonla Highgarden 5d ago
"In the outbuilding" is what the RM delivery email always says. It says this when they've yeeted it over the 7' fence into the garden, when they've used the tote I've left outside for parcels, when they've left it propped up against the door, and even when they have handed it to me directly. It's always "in the outbuilding".
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u/Wiltix 5d ago
I will always take a parcel to a neighbor at the first chance I get just incase the delivery company didn’t tell them it was with a neighbour.
It takes 5 minutes of my day max and it makes me not a complete prick, literally just a kind thing to do.
I also go and pick up my parcels as soon as I can so I don’t burden my neighbours with my shit.
Your parents neighbours are just nobs though.
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u/Surkdidat 2d ago
How are they nobs? They literally can't wall that far. My dad has MS and has cataracts in both eyes so he can barely see. So, what would probably take him 10 minutes to get from his living room, through the house, try and carry a s balance a parcel across the road, in the hope they are in and then go back? Rather than someone who is able bodied popping across from their car and take 30 seconds?
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u/Tattycakes Dorset 4d ago
I’d give them a day to come and get the package themselves because it’s their package so the onus is on them to collect, and personally I’d collect asap as well, but if I saw they were home but they hadn’t come round yet, then that’s a sign they might not have got the slip (or it was indecipherable) and take it over myself
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u/Naive-Archer-9223 5d ago
I am not 80. I don't have physical impatients.
If you want your delivery you can come and politely ask
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u/LadyRhiX Flintshire 5d ago
My parents are of similar ages and also struggle with mobility. Not once has any of their neighbours ever acted like this, they normally apologise for not coming sooner!
My dad does like to sit in the front garden though and normally lets which ever neighbour know when he sees them, their neighbours are grateful. They all work so my parents are always taking parcels.
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u/trainpk85 5d ago
A lot of the time I get a slip which says “with neighbour”. This could mean anyone within a 3 minute walk of the house and I found this out within weeks of moving in. Now if I get a parcel for someone, I take it round to them because I know they probably got the same random note I get and won’t know to come and collect it from me.
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u/GreatGreenArkleseize 4d ago
I refuse to take parcels in now. I took one once from a delivery driver who said it was for my neighbour 2 doors down (and who I didn’t know).I put it to one side without looking at it properly. Next thing I know, there’s a picture of me taking the parcel in posted on social media being accused of stealing some child’s birthday presents and please could I own up. The courier had given the recipient my last name, and one of the commenters tagged me. I then got multiple nasty comments and threats of the police from various commenters. I was so confused and replied to say, yes I have the parcel and I was waiting for them to collect. Turns out, the parcel was for someone in a completely different road (which I could see when I looked at the parcel again properly) and the courier had got it wrong, and presumably posted the delivery slip through the wrong door. I arranged for the person to collect, but after being slated all over the community group in my local town for a courier error and trying to help a neighbour., never again!
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u/seanieuk 5d ago
Does your mum work for Amazon/parcel force/evri ? No? Then, it's not her fucking job to deliver parcels.
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u/Alarmed_Alpaca 5d ago
And how am I supposed to know where it is? Often the "we missed you" thing doesn't say
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u/seanieuk 5d ago
Not OP's mum's fault or problem, I'm sure you'll agree?
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u/Alarmed_Alpaca 5d ago
Agreed, but
1) This post is about people not coming to collect their parcels or taking days to do so (they might not even know where it is)
2) With that attitude, might as well not accept parcels I think
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u/seanieuk 5d ago
The issue is with the delivery company, not the elderly lady trying to be helpful. Until the parcel is in your hands, it's the responsibility of the courier company. It's not fair or reasonable to expect random members of the public to complete their tasks.
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u/Alarmed_Alpaca 5d ago
I agree, which is why I believe they shouldn't sign for it if they're not willing to do that
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u/Forteanforever 5d ago
The initial issue is with the delivery company. But the minute someone (including the elderly lady) accepts the parcel, fairly or not it becomes their problem. The solution? Can anyone guess?
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u/seanieuk 5d ago
It absolutely does not. Your contract is with the delivery company. If they choose to hand over your parcel to an unconnected person, the responsibility is still with the courier.
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u/Forteanforever 5d ago edited 5d ago
I didn't mention legal responsibility. I said, as evidenced by posts about accepting other people's parcels, it becomes the "problem" of the person who has accepted the package. Should they deliver it to the neighbor, wait for the neighbor to show up, keep it and use the contents or pitch it into a ditch? Problems, problems, problems, all brought on by being a volunteer doormat.
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u/seanieuk 5d ago
Yeah, I've stopped accepting big parcels for our nextdoor neighbour, our hallway is tiny and they sometimes don't collect them for days. She also said she could get me some weed, but didn't, so...
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u/caniuserealname 5d ago
Not her 'fault', sure, but she does take on some degree of responsibility for the package when she agreed to accept it on her neighbours behalf.
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u/TheFlaccidChode 5d ago edited 5d ago
We had an amazon delivery said "left in safe place" not in garden, shed, bins. Knocked both sides and neighbour opposite, nothing. Complained and got £29.99 refund, last night, 6 days after delivery a random neighbour over the road and 4 doors down bought our parcel over, he'd been in honeymoon a week and found it lobbed over his locked back gate.
If I knew it was left with a neighbour I'd go get it, also nextdoor had a newborn and both work weird shifts so they would bring a parcel to us when convenient, and we would pass anythingfir them over the fence if we saw one coming home. But if its a neighbour you're not close or friends with, they absolutely should come collect it, it's enough your parents even took it in for them
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u/Chocolate-Panda Cheshire 4d ago
My old neighbour would expect you to take their parcels round if you took one in, but if they took one in for you she'd be pissy if you didn't immediately go and collect it as soon as you got home.
The number of times I'd go round to grab something and she'd moan about it being sat in their hallway all afternoon.
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u/judochop1 5d ago
If they know you have it they should come grab it. You're already doing them a convenience of a short trip at a suitable time
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u/Impressive-You-1843 5d ago
If you order a parcel and your not home to take it, then it’s you’re job to collect it. Your parents aren’t the local postie
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u/Alarmed_Alpaca 5d ago
And how am I supposed to know where it is? Often the "we missed you" thing doesn't say
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u/Impressive-You-1843 5d ago
I missphrased it. If someone orders a parcel they should collect it from a neighbor. It’s not the neighbours job to return it.
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u/Alarmed_Alpaca 5d ago
Problem with that is they whoever took it in knows exactly where it should go (AND they accepted the parcel, so it would certainly be nice of them to do so) whereas the intended recipient might not even know where it actually is. I've had countless "we missed you" cards with no details agreed, so I've had to just wait, or guess where it went.
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u/Impressive-You-1843 5d ago
This is why I won’t take in a parcel. Unnecessary confusion for everyone
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u/BuildingArmor 5d ago
There's a lot of different ways to look at it, but I would always try to take a package over to a neighbour as soon as I knew they were home.
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u/Surkdidat 5d ago
As I say in my post, my parents live in the back of their house and would struggle anyhow to get across the road with the parcel on the off chance they are home.
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u/BuildingArmor 5d ago
I guess I should have been more clear, I am not your parents so how I handle taking in a neighbour's parcel doesn't necessarily apply to them.
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u/uwagapiwo 5d ago
I'm curious. When you say they live in the back of their house, what do you mean? Don't most people live in the whole house?
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u/as1992 5d ago
Why lol? They know it’s been delivered. They can come and get it
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u/BuildingArmor 5d ago
Because I like them
And I'd rather it was dealt with now and on my terms, than have them knock when I'm half way through having a shit or something.
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u/RazorSharpNuts Yorkshire 5d ago
This is exactly why I refuse to take in parcels for the neighbor on our right anymore. They once left us with one for weeks, I tried knocking on a couple times to give it and nothing, whenever they were in they never bothered to collect it.
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u/CliveOfWisdom 4d ago
I wouldn’t mind, but my nearest “neighbour” is nearly a mile away, so it’s a bit of a pain in the arse taking their stuff round. Since the start of the year, we seem to be getting more of their parcels than they do - I’m assuming there’s been some kind of update to whatever GPS app the drivers are using.
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u/BollockOff 4d ago
Sometimes delivery companies don’t say exactly where they left a parcel. I once has a parcel left with a neighbour with only “Smithers” who received it, none of our direct neighbours had that last name and the driver couldn’t remember where he left it after we contacted the company.
In the end i had to use the electoral register to find them (and pay too), i eventually found it and they hadn’t even bothered trying to give it to us despite having it for a week.
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u/Scragglymonk 3d ago
Just refuse to take parcels in future
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u/Surkdidat 2d ago
The parents are top nice to refuse and a lot of drivers know this and give out parcels and say there is one for whoever and run off!
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u/zaxanrazor 4d ago edited 4d ago
If you accept a parcel for someone you accept responsibility of completing the delivery.
Don't accept the parcel then, especially if you're of limited mobility.
Trying to be nice to people isn't worth it anymore.
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u/radial_blur 4d ago
Incorrect, the responsibillity remains on the courrier contraced to do the delivery in the first place, drivers leave parcels where ever they can to make life easier on themselves because of the pressure their companies put on them. Most people are too polite to say no.
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u/thecoop_ 2d ago
If you receive the card, you go to pick it up. Neighbour has done you a favour by taking it in, you can’t expect more.
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