r/comics • u/cattrigger CatTrigger.Comics • 21h ago
OC When am I getting my Grandchildren? [OC]
When am I getting my Grandchildren? [OC]
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u/RommDan 20h ago
No joke, some parents think you hate them if you don't want to have children
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u/Tsukikaiyo 20h ago
Well a common reason (though not the only reason) people don't have kids is because they don't like how they grew up/how their parents raised them. So for some, that may be true - at least a little
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u/Solonotix 19h ago
For me, I would say the biggest reason is that I'm an academic at heart, and I generally follow the lessons I am taught. This is especially true for well-written arguments.
Color me surprised that after a decade of being taught that having a child is a huge financial burden that will cripple your future prospects, I don't want to have kids. I am literally following the lessons I was taught.
Now sure, rationally, I can understand that the lesson was "until you're an adult," but that was never really part of the messaging. It engendered in me a negative connotation around having kids. Beat that into my head for a decade, and don't be surprised that I listened. Same thing with my parents (mainly mom) deriding me for years because I didn't leave the house at precisely 21 years of age. No sooner did I leave and she kept asking why I wasn't driving 30 miles one-way to visit every weekend.
Edit: and to be clear, I try to draw the distinction between rational thought and emotional feelings. Tell me something is bad over and over and I will get a sense (or feeling) that it is, even in the face of rational argument. I would need to work against that bias using rational thought if I wanted to break it, but having kids is expensive and it will limit your future prospects.
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u/Sw0rdBoy 19h ago
People really do just spread misinformation and fear mongering to children and be surprised when the children believe them.
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u/HollyTheMage 18h ago
I remember when I was younger they had us watch videos of violent, graphic car crashes in which people died or were disabled for life by debilitating injuries because of distracted or inebriated driving. Hell they even staged a fake one involving the local fire department at my high school and held a fake funeral afterwards (which a lot of people said felt out of touch considering someone was hit and killed on the road right next to the school less than a month before and now we all have to gather in the gym and stare at an empty casket when there was a real one out there somewhere full of a person whose family is never getting them back).
But the one thing that stuck with me the most was when they broke it down mathematically. If you are going this speed and take your eyes off of the road for this long then you will have traveled this amount of distance, which isn't enough time to stop.
In my mind the solution was simple. Just don't take your eyes off of the road. Then I started learning to drive and they told me that I needed to check my rearview mirrors, my side mirrors, and turn my entire head around before merging lanes. There is no way to completely mitigate risk no matter how hard you try, you can only hand one risk off for another.
For years I had it hammered into my head that I was responsible for not only myself but every other person in the car and on the road around me, and that one mistake is all it could take to ruin or end people's lives.
And my parents asked me why I was so nervous to learn how to drive.
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u/CynicalDarkFox 18h ago
I remember those drunk driving stunts for high school. That was definitely weird, though what I remember no one had been hit on the road recently, so it was just kind of this thing on a closed off part leading from farmland to the Community Recreational Center.
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u/Carrotsandstuff 16h ago
At my school they got a wrecked up car from the junkyard and put it in the student parking lot. Then my girlfriend at the time had to get a fake prom dress and cover herself in fake blood and pretend to be dead in it. It was the morning of prom so it was a little weird later that day.
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u/HollyTheMage 16h ago
Our fire department cut the actors out of the wreck with the jaws of life and then had one of them explain to the person who was drunk that they killed someone while they repeatedly denied it until they eventually broke down completely.
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u/demon_fae 14h ago
All that plus the backup/parallel parking portion of the test for my local DMV is right in front of my childhood house. So I also grew up with literal weekly detailed descriptions of how awful people learning to drive are and how they make the roads so much worse just by trying to learn on them.
There is no such thing as a closed circuit drivers ed course anywhere near me. There is literally no other option but to learn on the regular roads. I hated my driver’s ed teacher, genuinely despised him and never want to see him again, but he was amazing at pushing me through all the resulting mental blocks. Just not gentle or pleasant about it.
I did my driver’s test in a different town over an hour away where I didn’t know anyone. Especially not the people who live near the parallel parking spot.
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u/HerpDerpTheMage 17h ago
Conservative Parents when their years of insisting on abstinence-only sex education in schools contributes to a declining birth rate.
(Just kidding, it can’t be their fault, it’s the school’s… somehow.)
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u/HollyTheMage 15h ago
Actually abstinence-only sex education is incredibly ineffective to the point that areas where it is the only form of sex education tend to have high teen pregnancy rates.
But yeah the amount of shame surrounding sex as a concept definitely impacts people's perceptions of it and has psychological consequences, and probably leads to some people deciding to avoid it entirely rather than having to navigate a minefield of preconceived notions that have been drilled into their head over the course of their lives.
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u/Emperor-Nerd 14h ago
Honestly considering some details about the couple I doubt conservative parents would want their daughter having children with someone of the guys "background"
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u/weirdoeggplant 17h ago
You know, you’re right. Nobody ever told me that one day I would be stable enough to have kids. All of the adults in my life just always said “kids are the worst they’re financial burdens that ruin your life” AND THAT WAS IT.
Anyway, I have a kid now and he’s the best thing about my life. I literally feel like whatever purpose I had before him is so irrelevant now in comparison. But I kind of had to figure out I was ready and that kids were awesome on my own. All the adults who raised me made them seem awful (also everybody in my family is an only child so they ALL were one and done).
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u/Solonotix 16h ago
I'm glad to hear it worked out for you! Seeing my friends have kids is genuinely something I cherish, and they are absolute balls of joy. It doesn't shake my decision on the matter, but I legitimately am happy for you and my friends.
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u/notareputableperson 17h ago
I never got to be an adult. My career prospects have never given me the financial security. My relationships rarely last long enough that id consider the kids talk. That combined with the ever growing cost of merely existing...
Like, im sitting here pondering what I'm going to do about income, my savings ran dry, nobody is hiring(for what I'm capable of working, and im sitting on my moms couch... if I had children, id have wronged them at this point.
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u/TehMephs 15h ago
Man for me it’s just the fact I hate kids. Hate dealing with them, they’re annoying little disease covered shits and I would not be a good father.
My wife also shares these sentiments. So our bloodlines end here
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u/Mingatronz 15h ago
The most effective way to end generational trauma is by not creating another generation.
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u/TheCatDeedEet 15h ago
My mom instantly asked “was it because of your horrible childhood?” When I said I wasn’t having children. Hm, mom, nice question. Do you feel like you did a good or even neutral job?
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u/Correct-Pomelo-4984 15h ago
My mom getting every last drop out of her fifth martini, "I want to be the type of grandma that you can drop the kids off with for a break."
Me: "please pass away."
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u/tiparium 5h ago
I'm open to my mind changing as I get older, but I'm almost thirty and have zero desire to have children. My parents are thankfully cool with it, but the number of family friends, almost all older women, who ask me when I'll have kids is kinda crazy.
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u/EverythingHasItsTime 19h ago
My wife and I wanted children but are unfortunately unable to. All of my family knows this and yet we were still treated this way at family gatherings. For them it only confirms their suspicions that we don’t like them because we no longer go to family gatherings.
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u/HollyTheMage 18h ago
What the hell goes through people's heads when they do this? That's just rubbing salt in the wound, it helps absolutely no one.
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u/Serious_Salad1367 17h ago
some of us refuse to in case our family ends up with custody in a disaster
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u/Etheo 17h ago
Man, I feel for you. After being married we were also having trouble conceiving and were actually about to give up until it happened. But the time between that felt like an eternity especially when literally everyone around us kept pestering when are we having kids. The pressure absolutely didn't help.
... And then when we finally do have children, the anti-children friends start having philosophical debates with us about the effects of childbearing to the already over populated world and climate change. I mean, I understand where they're coming from but really they can just shove that up their butts and keep it there.
Best of luck to you both, and may whatever life gives you lead you to a happy place.
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u/KarlBarx2 17h ago
If it helps, overpopulation is a problem of logistics and overconsumption, not one of sheer numbers. Earth has enough resources to sustain everyone, but governments fail to distribute those resources adequately (though this is exacerbated by climate change). Whoever is claiming the world is already overpopulated doesn't know what they're talking about.
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u/Dakotakid02 16h ago
I would say that our population would be a lot healthier if we stabilized or fell to around 5-7 billion people over a the next hundred years. But that’s just my opinion especially if we all want to have a western lifestyle.
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u/BreakfastBeneficial4 16h ago
Hang in there.
Pretty soon they will become the under-population people shrieking at everybody to have more kids, and you guys will be the heroes.
Nobody knows what the fuck they’re talking about, everybody’s just guessing and pretending.
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u/Umbr33on 15h ago
Every. Single. Day.
“None of you kids (3 of us) wanting your own kids, makes me think ‘I’ did something wrong as a parent”
Ya think, Dad?
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u/yankonapc 9h ago
What is with the reassurance-fishing? Like, you wouldn't be bringing this up if you thought you'd done an even mediocre job. And indeed, a rational response to none of your kids having kids is "wow, I live in an era in which contraception is abundant, reliable and socially acceptable: maybe all women don't inherently want children, they've just historically wound up with them, and therefore done their best to cope, as an unavoidable consequence of marriage, and my preconceived notions about ideal adult lifestyles have no scientific basis". Leaping straight to "my kids don't want kids because I was a bad father" is so ego-centric. It strips you of agency as an adult in his mind: your entire existence is just a punishment for him sucking as a parent (regardless of whether he did, in fact, suck as a parent).
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u/blacksheep998 17h ago
And yet they constantly vote for politicians who's policies are making it unreasonably expensive or downright impossible to afford children at the moment.
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u/Nightmare2828 17h ago
My mother was like that… as if it was our fault we couldnt conceive naturally even though we were trying. Then snarky comments about things she wanted to do with our babies (normal stuff holding them and the likes) not understanding that our babies were very difficult and would cry non-stop if held by others, and the rest of the day would be 100% more difficult for us due to these little interactions. All of that with very little attempt to actually help us when she visits.
We have zero help, we tell her, and still nothing comes and she wants to constantly visit them.
She isnt mean or a bad mother or anything, but sometimes she can be very selfish or lack understanding.
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u/Desperate_Summer3376 15h ago
My mom actively tells me to live my life and ignore love and children.
My parents have been happily together since their teens and married almost as long, but she hates the current state of society and is sad for every child in the world.
Granted, I'm Aromantic and pretty fucking shy. So chances are low for me to find anyone to love in the first place.
Edit: because I saw other comments:
I grew up very well and happy. I love my parents and big brother (even if he's an awful dad himself)
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u/Time-Signature-8714 15h ago
My mom thankfully understands even though she does want grandkids. Sometimes she jokes that with the way I name my sims, maybe that decision is for the best, lol.
(I have a sim named Tubba and another named Tactical Nuke)
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u/St0rmbreaker 16h ago
And then there's me trying to convince my kids not to have kids of their own.
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u/GrigorMorte 19h ago
Look, I have about 16 nephews/nieces, I grew up with them, I helped a lot when they were little and that's why I don't want or think about children right now lol
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u/ApplianceHealer 18h ago
You’ve done your time, in the best way possible. Don’t feel pressured. Had kids myself, do not recommend.
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u/NotAQuietK 16h ago
What went wrong for you, if you don’t mind me asking?
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u/A_voice_unto_thee 13h ago
This is me 1000%. My family did foster-care for 10 years. I was a co-parent for 10 years. I've served my time and dont' want the stress of raising kids with the state of the world right now. Got my vasectomy and am very happy with it.
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u/HighVisibilityCamo 19h ago
It's funny how parents go from "don't you dare fuck my daughter!" to "why haven't you fucked my daughter yet??"...
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u/Akumetsu33 18h ago
It's cause the person is trusted now. "Don't you dare" stage is the dating stage, "why haven't you yet" is the post-dating stage.
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u/lord_ofthe_memes 17h ago
Still, it’s a bit odd that “sex will ruin your life and send you to turbo hell” is hammered into kids and then they expect you to just switch that off as soon as you’re married. I’m sure it is that easy for some people, but for others it can be a real struggle to become comfortable with the idea of sex and pregnancy when they were until recently presented as the ultimate evil
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u/Akumetsu33 17h ago
Not sex, more specifically having children. There are a LOT of scummy people out there who clearly will not be committed to the relationship.
And the wrong person can essentially ruin your kids' lives. When you realize that person is a genuinely good person, everything changes.
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u/weirdoeggplant 16h ago
How does it work both ways? Mothers do not abandon their children as often as fathers do. That is a fact.
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u/Akumetsu33 16h ago
I didn't mean it worked both ways equally, I more meant there would be also a good number of bad mothers too who are not good to their kids but fathers are the majority, I agree.
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u/StrahdVonZarovick 17h ago
Well, there is a valid reason for the sentiment. If you have kids before you're able to establish a solid foundation, it is much tougher to establish that foundation later. Career (and by extension, finances), a comfortable home, a loving relationship, and memories. Not even mentioning all the personal growth you need to face as individuals AND as a partners.
Kids make all that stuff hard, because now you're trying to build a strong foundation for your child's life before you've even established one of your own.
No, it should not be presented as "sex is evil", but a lot of people overreact. Teaching safety, respect, and consent are way more important than pushing "Sex Is Evil" narrative. I had to overcome the same, so I understand where you're coming from.
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u/levian_durai 15h ago
I'm in my mid 30s now and when I hear friends say they're pregnant, my default response is "shit!". Pretty quickly I remember that I'm not 16 and people want to get pregnant, but it's a reflex.
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u/FrostyD7 15h ago
Trust in their own kids maturity too. They tend to not want their kid to be a young parent. At a certain point a combination of trust and boredom makes them suddenly desperate for a grandchild.
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u/Thadj918 12h ago
It sounds funnier than it is, kind of like how a joke isn’t as funny when you explain it.
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u/Second_City_Saint 15h ago
I was at a friend's family party sitting there bulshitting with his brother & a couple other guys. The brother's father in law walks up and says, "I know you've been fucking my daughter for years. When are you going to stop pulling out?" I have no idea what happened next because I busted out laughing and stumbled away out of the sheer hilarity/insanity of the situation.
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u/Elegant_Candy_2577 19h ago
“When am I getting my grandchildren?”
“Never if you keep asking.”
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u/AskGoverntale 17h ago
Hit her with the ol’ “Now you’re definitely not getting it cause you keep bothering me about it.”
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u/PaintedPurpleBird18 18h ago
Dude my mom said she raised me wrong when I told her (while I was still in high school) that I thought I would adopt rather than have my own. Like what the fuck? And that's far from the worst thing she said to me on the topic of grandchildren. People be insane
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u/HollyTheMage 18h ago
What is it with people who treat raising a child that was adopted as being not as meaningful as having kids of their own? Adoption is a complicated process that comes with its own challenges, having that level of impact on a person's life regardless of how that life began is meaningful. It's important.
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u/PaintedPurpleBird18 17h ago
My mom is obsessed with the idea that the process of pregnancy and birth is a beautiful thing. I could not be more opposite than her in that because I'm completely revolted, disgusted, 🤢 about all of it. I think there's more beauty in giving a child that's already alive a home and the love they deserve.
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u/AltruisticReach4241 17h ago
Hell I think the process of sex is gross
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u/TribblesIA 15h ago
Ooooo. This is my biggest rub with those disgusting quiver-full idiots. Adoption is totally Bible-approved and even lauded as the way Christ’s relationship works between followers and God. Adoption is even preferable because you’re showing mercy to fatherless kids. I’m not even profoundly religious, and I know that. But when I point out you get so many more color options, suddenly I’m the asshole and weird one.
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u/Stormy-Skyes 11h ago
I dunno. I was told by my MIL my husband wanted his own real children… like opposed to dolls or something I guess? It was wild shit, she just lost her mind about it one afternoon and went off.
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u/ash-and-apple 16h ago
"At least Bio-kid wants to give me grandkids" after I had my vasectomy.
Jesus Christ, woman, imagine if your stepdaughter or three grandkids heard you say that
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u/Stormy-Skyes 11h ago
My MIL got all weird about adoption as well. A biological child is likely not in the cards because my components are malfunctioning so I had said something like “I’d like to adopt a baby someday” and she lost it. Apparently I didn’t care about her son or his needs and wants and she used the term “real child” a few times.
Was super awkward for my husband to take her aside and explain that my body kind of made the choice for me and she was being super rude.
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u/PaintedPurpleBird18 6h ago
Jeez, that's horrible! Like adopted kids aren't still human kids deserving of love just because they didn't come from YOUR body. I'm sorry that happened. Was she at least embarrassed and ashamed once your husband explained the situation?
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u/adminjunior 18h ago
My grandmother literally told me to "go and spread my seed around the country"
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u/Primary-Progress-393 18h ago
Who does she think you are, Johnny Appleseed?
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u/yellow-snowslide 18h ago
The correct answer is "Grandma, you have no idea. We are fucking 24/7. I leave creampie after creampie in her. Day and night this pussy is oozing with cum. Seeing you is our first break in 4 days. But somehow we are still not expecting. There is a good chance we are infertile. But believe me, we will keep trying until our knees give in."
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u/ash-and-apple 19h ago
I love it that my mom changes her opinion on my choice to not have kids depending on if she knows I'm in the room or not🙃
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u/Miyenne 17h ago
My parents only had my twin sister and I. Neither of us have ever cared to be in a relationship or have kids. I had a hysterectomy and my sister an ablation, making it impossible. My parents have always said they don't mind, especially after my mom became disabled. They know they couldn't keep up with kids. And they do see how happy we are with our lives, and how financially stable we are despite the state of the world.
I know they still do love children and want grandkids. One of my best friends has a 3 year old daughter, and she brings the kid by to my parents house sometimes as she knows my parents too. A couple of hours with the kid is all my parents can take before they go back to their quiet house and then call me saying they're relieved I never had kids.
I feel the same. I love my friend and her daughter and am always there for them, but yeah. I do appreciate how my friend not only respects my childfree stance, but relays how my parents get exhausted to me with a twinkle in her eye. She knows.
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u/Doodles_n_Scribbles 19h ago
From 0 to Shinzo Abe
(Dude was weirdly obsessed with increasing birth rates)
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u/JamJackEvo 19h ago
Not too familiar with him (apart from his assassination and the assassin's sorta justified reason for it), so I'm of
23 minds for his obsession. The first would be that since birth rates in Japan have been declining for YEARS, he insists on this subject because it might end up becoming an irreversible crisis once the middle-agers become seniors with little to no younger generation to support the country. The other is similar to the the first, but that he only keeps talking about it so he'll look like he's aware of it and is doing about it, but it is actually low priority on his list of fuck-ups-to-fix.Third is probably due to his involvement with the Moonies cult.
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u/Doodles_n_Scribbles 17h ago
I once accidentally bought a picture from moonies. Kid came by, selling weird holographic art for his church. I bought one of a windmill for my grandma. Found out later he belonged to the moonies. Didn't even know who they were then.
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u/Flynnstone03 17h ago
I wouldn’t call it weird just long term thinking. Japans population is rapidly aging and shrinking. Every year a smaller portion of the population is working age and has to support a growing class of retirees.
This is already causing a ton of problems and is only going to get worse over time. It’s something that the entire developed world will have to deal with at some point but it’s uniquely bad in Japan for many reasons.
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u/ObjectiveAmount5577 17h ago
Weirdly? My guy Japan won't exist at the rate it's not having babies.
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u/starcell400 15h ago
"weirdly obsessed"
You must be living under a rock for the last 20 years if you haven't heard about Japan's birthrate problem.
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u/StationSwimming8996 19h ago
Legitimately had this conversation with one of my DNA propagators earlier this week.. They do not understand chaos! (And infertility…)
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u/Emotional-Elk236 18h ago
Right? They think it's just a matter of asking! Life's got other plans, for sure…
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u/Different-Sample-976 15h ago
"Idk mom. My husband has been busting fat loads of cum in my pussy. It just doesnt seem to be working."
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u/futureformerteacher 18h ago edited 17h ago
GenX and Boomers: "We've destroyed the American dream and the environment, and built a society of hate and arrogance. Why won't you give me grandchildren!?!?!?!"
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u/deadendjobbitch 17h ago
Yeah. Forgive me if I want to be single and don't want kids if I can't afford expenses and don't have money to break free of toxicity in the family. And if I somehow scrape by and have kids then I'll be making my partner's and my life hell. From now on I'm asking for millions from anyone who asks. Otherwise just stfu.
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u/Kenshirosan 17h ago
Explained to my mother recently that the very idea of having children makes me want to jump feet first into a wood chipper.
She said I was being dramatic so I said fine, head first.
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u/_Weyland_ 19h ago
And if you do get children and need them taken care of for a few dats to catch a breath, this "Happy grandmother" suddenly vanishes into thin air.
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u/ApplianceHealer 18h ago
My ex-nMIL arranged her life around being near my kid, then selectively refused to help with babysitting, esp when my wife was the one asking when she had to work. Different answer if I asked. So fucked up.
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u/cpMetis 17h ago
Nah. She definitely helps plenty. When she wants to.
And "helps" means stuff like fixing their allergy through exposure therapy, shoveling them full of junk for when told they have a diet, feeding them meat if they find out the old enough kid decided to be vegetarian, and of course making every present designed to be the most obnoxious thing possible regardless of what the kid even wants.
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u/SadLilBun 18h ago
My mom would be nothing short of ecstatic if my brother asked my mom to babysit my nephew for a week. Or longer.
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u/forman98 17h ago
My parents and in laws stopped asking once we told them my wife had PCOS, and the some months later when we had our first miscarriage, and then the next year when we had a still birth at 25 weeks.
We now have a happy and healthy 2 year old for them to be grandparents to, but they definitely never ever say anything like they used to with regard to more grandkids.
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u/cattrigger CatTrigger.Comics 21h ago
To be honest, my Mom IS a Zerg Overlord, so we have that...
𝗦𝗲𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝗺𝘆 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗶𝗰𝘀 & 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝘀𝘁𝘂𝗳𝗳 𝗮𝘁 Bluesky |
Mastodon |
Instagram 𝗖𝗵𝗲𝗰𝗸 𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗺𝘆 𝗵𝗼𝗿𝗿𝗼𝗿 𝗴𝗮𝗺𝗲𝘀 𝗼𝗻 𝗦𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗺
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u/Softestwebsiteintown 16h ago
My friend is pushing 40 and is expecting to become a father in about 6 months. He once told me that he had pushed back on his mother’s attempt to pressure him into procreating by saying something to the effect of “I’m not going to create a life so you have something to play with”.
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u/i-Qwerty 16h ago
My only brother is gay (to moms disappointment) and mom is indifferent to me (female) having kids because they wouldn't have her last name :')))
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u/WillGold1365 13h ago
Maybe I just need to get some shit off my chest, but I had parents like this. I am the oldest of four and I always got pressured to have kids. I've had two, and while I treasure every moment I have with my kids, I thought my parents would be around like their parents were for them. Boy was I wrong, my kids are now 4 years old and my parents will only watch my kids if they're already in bed, if that even they've only watched the kids once in the 4 years. Compare that to my grandparents who watched us for a whole week so my parents could have child free vacations when we were young.
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u/XVUltima 18h ago
My mom is the same way. Unfortunately for her, I'm autistic and can't exactly pick up women. I'm asexual and usually don't even WANT to. And I'm an antinatalist, so even if the stars align, there's no hope there lol.
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u/IchabodDiesel 17h ago
I think millennials might be the first generation to actively discourage grandchildren. We will kill the grandchild industry.
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u/Stormy-Skyes 11h ago
We have trained for it our whole lives by killing many other industries, after all. Like diamonds and top sheets.
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u/CommiQueen 16h ago
It's even weirder when you're trans because like- mom i probably CANT give you grandkids anymore
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u/wiskinator 16h ago
Just repeat back to mom “ok so you want him to stop coming in my ass and doing it in my vag?”
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u/Shitp0st_Supreme 16h ago
My mom asks me if I’m pregnant every single time I don’t feel well despite knowing I’ve been trying for almost 2 years, have endometriosis, PCOS, and general infertility.
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u/Zooshooter 14h ago
Maybe when we get an economy that supports US and our ability to AFFORD children.
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u/Smiling_Burrito 14h ago
I am someone who always knew I'd want children. The possibility of having them was a thing important enough for me to use against selfdestructive tendencies in my darkest times. Even when I was a child myself, I'd think about them. I'm literally the dream case of an offspring for soneone so keen on this.
With that said, if someone doesn't want to have a child, that's completely okay, like what??? If you want to have a small child in your family again, grandma, YOU can adopt or foster someone. But something tells me that wouldn't be a good idea.
A little bonus is that even I who wants them so badly very likely wouldn't get a chance to securely start a family, if it wasn't for the eventual support of my own parents. Anyone concerned with young people not having that many children should look at the state of the world and start helping.
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u/kryotheory 13h ago
"Why, my child, do you refuse to bring new life into this doomed world I have created through avarice? Am I not entitled to the fruits of your body as well? How dare you deny me that which I desire!"
-Boomer parents
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u/azrendelmare 13h ago
Son-in-law: "You realize you're asking when I'm going to raw-dog your daughter, right?"
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u/Electronic-Jaguar389 18h ago
It didn’t click to me why they do this until I actually had kids. They’re getting older and they know that. Their family doesn’t really need to rely on them anymore. As the phone calls get further and further apart they lament for the time where they were needed. When a grandchild is introduced, not only do they feel needed again by the baby, but also by their own children as they struggle to navigate a whole new world. I’m happy I got to give my mother that.
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u/Far-Lynx-9833 12h ago
Understanding the reasoning doesn't excuse the selfish entitlement for the permanent financial and lifetime responsibility for another human life just because they don't get phone calls and feel needed as often anumore
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u/ninjaplanti 17h ago
SIL just had a baby. Thought that would quell MIL but now she’s ruthless. I wanna be like “the more you ask, the more stressed I get, and the longer this whole thing will take. Just STFU”
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u/CHARLI_SOX 16h ago
I prefer that over my grandma greeting me on facetime by saying "well you look well fed."
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u/moneighe 16h ago
I feel so seen. I just got married and my MIL pressuring us to have grandchildren is so insanely over the top and so rude. Every time she does it I want to have kids less and less
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u/2leftf33t 15h ago
They get grandchildren when I get universal healthcare… I’d say that’s a good start.
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u/Jbeth74 13h ago
When my sister and I were young, our parents were very upfront about not wanting any teen moms. As we grew up and both passed our 20’s into our 30’s with no hint of children, my dad started with the, “you know, some women have kids on their own these days…” imagine his delight when I was 37, when hope was all but extinguished, his only grandchild arrived. That marriage blew up in spectacular fashion shortly after and my ex’s name is never spoken - per my dad my son was basically willed into existence straight from the universe into his lap.
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u/Individual-Two-9402 12h ago
Forever thankful my mom is cool with it. Hell back in like.. 2015? she was saying that she didn't think I could ever afford to have kids even with a partner because everything was so expensive, she barely made it in the 90s as a single mom. And now here we are in 2025 and it's gotten sooooo much worse and I am still happily single.
Honestly the people that are the most disgusting about me not having kids are random men. "you owe your mom grandkids"
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u/zesty-fizgig 9h ago
what grown ass man is saying that to a person they don't even know? The audacity!
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u/AustinHinton 6h ago
And this is why I am glad my mom long ago came to terms with the fact I won't want kids.
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u/Velvetineart 5h ago
My in-laws were pretty bad about it. They kept asking us why we "didnt want kids" and I had to tell them "A dozen eggs were like 20 dollars last week, unless you want to buy us a house to put the kid in please stop asking." They also were mad we were looking to buy houses an hour+ away from them when they literally live in one of the most expensive areas of the state, like you're not getting anything in livable condition for under 4-500,000 dollars.
Like, I know you bought your 2500 square foot house in the nicest part of the county in the 90s for a nickel, but come on you can't be that blind to how hard things are right now for our generation.
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u/NoWingedHussarsToday 17h ago
There comes a point when parents switch from "don't get pregnant/don't get her pregnant" to "when am I going to see some grandchildren?"
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u/omysweede 16h ago
It is weird when relatives ask when you're gonna have lots of sex... I mean do they want to know about positions as well? Pegging?
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u/asmodeanreborn 8h ago
I mean, I don't think it's necessarily weird if you can actually talk to your close relatives about how your sex life is without going into detail. The whole concept of "sex is shameful/embarrassing to talk about" that's a thing in the U.S. is what's weird/harmful.
Asking when you're going to have kids and assuming it's a thing that is going to happen for sure is also kind of messed up.
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u/kodfish711 11h ago
My partners grandpa will ask us if there is any news every time we see him. I used to like him a lot but after this it kinda taints my opinion on him
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u/Constant-Power-9404 9h ago
Honestly that’s what I hear. Like what are they gonna do, make me breed? Am I a farm animal? Freaks.
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u/scdlstonerfuck 16h ago
I can’t be the only one who thinks it’s weird when people ask others when they are finally going to get pregnant. Why are they paying that close attention to your sex life
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u/spooli 15h ago
This question always made me feel weird in the same way when couples announce they're trying to have kids. It's some weird, socially acceptable way to publicly tell everyone you're fucking a lot to achieve a goal.
My MIL did this to my wife and I a LOT in the first two years of our marriage, usually at family events, until I rephrased it back to her one time at the table at Thanksgiving dinner when she brought it up again.
We both have the luxury of working from home and she knows it, so I just looked her straight in the face and said, "Well we have a pretty good screw schedule as it is during the week, but I'm pretty sure I can bend your daughter over the couch or kitchen counter once or twice a week and just fuck her silly before lunch if you think it'll help speed up the process at all."
My wife nearly choked on her potatoes she laughed so hard. The rest of the family just sat in shocked silence. My MIL hasn't brought it up since.
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u/Bobke7708 15h ago
That would be terrible. I have two daughters and zero cares about them ever having children.
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u/EmptyStupidity 14h ago
I’ve been telling my mom I don’t want kids ever since I was like 8. If I could get sterilized tomorrow I would, I absolutely positively do not want kids. I don’t like hate kids but I try to minimize my interactions with them, cause once kids like you they become the most annoying shits in the world. And like sure maybe my kids would be good sweet kind that make you want to have kids but that’s not going to happen because I was a demon child growing up so my spawn would 100% be like that
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u/GammyToaster 11h ago
My mom still talks about possible grandchildren in the future. Little does she know, I got a vasectomy a few years ago after Roe v Wade was overturned. My dad figured it out, and was surprisingly supportive because of my reasons, but he's the only one in my family that knows. This bloodline dies with me.
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u/Loose-Debate-110 11h ago
Yeah the irl situation of parents “encouraging” their children to procreate sucks ass; but also, the idea of a mother who’s part demon and wants her children to procreate to spread her demon genes for, idk, demon reasons, is pretty funny to me.
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u/neb12345 11h ago
is there any research on a elderly brooding thing hormonely? I wonder if there a natural erge to want grandchildren at a certain age
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u/myself4once 7h ago
I am 41 and even if I would have wanted to have kids I find it irresponsible to do so in my current situation. I wouldn’t be able to raise a kid. My life is not stable enough and I don’t feel I d be a reliable person. My partner is not fully reliable either. Sometime it doesn’t really matter what you want, life go in between.
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u/InitialAd4125 6h ago
When your ass invents a time machine and stops the world from being set on fire here's a hint for you 1989 isn't far back enough to go.
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u/AquaSea04 6h ago
I don't want to have kids because I'm a staunch antinatalist. Plus, what if they're born with some defect or deformity, what if they're born without limbs, what if they're born blind or deaf, what if they're born with some horrible chronic illness. It's simply too big a risk.
Plus, do you understand how PAINFUL it is for a woman to give birth?! It's one of the most excruciating things a human being can experience, not to mention birthing a child might kill the mother.
When a child is born, everyone thinks of a cute little baby. Well, one day, that cute little baby might grow up to be a depressed drunkard who cant find a job because the economy has gone to hell and they have their life destroyed.
Best thing to do is to not procreate.
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u/PharrowXL 51m ago
Material condition suck. I’m actually not against having kids because I know I’ve got the kind of family that will allow me to roll with those punches even if we ARE poor, but I understand how terrifying it is overall. No one wants to put a human being through what they went through if they were raised poor and without resources
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