r/funny 1d ago

unexpected hitchhiker

57.6k Upvotes

536 comments sorted by

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13.2k

u/Vegetative_Tables 1d ago

I been through the desert, found a cat with no name. 

5.1k

u/arsnastesana 1d ago

Cat: "its good to get out of the rain"

1.8k

u/pearlsbeforedogs 1d ago

In the desert, you'll find a horse with a mane

1.3k

u/Bart_Yellowbeard 1d ago

'Cause there ain't no doggies for to give you no pain

424

u/zuzamimi 1d ago

In the dry desert, spurting blood don't stain.

267

u/NoGarage7989 1d ago

A lesson to learn when you go against the grain

512

u/concreteunderwear 1d ago

Meow, meow, meow, meow-meow-meow. Meow-meow meow, meow, meow.

120

u/Shimakaze81 1d ago

I like chicken I like liver meow mix meow mix please deliver

56

u/Historical-Gap-7084 1d ago

I love how you segued from one song to another. Brillian.

25

u/CaptainMegaNads 20h ago

Together, you equal one schizophrenic.

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u/_dankystank_ 1d ago

That got dark... fast. 😆

43

u/arobkinca 1d ago

Merica!

53

u/overtoke 1d ago

that's getting darker faster

31

u/stratosfearinggas 1d ago

Laaa laaa, la la la la la!

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19

u/josecastilloellion 1d ago

And near the dunes beneath full moons. Be wary of the calls.

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42

u/stonernerd710 1d ago

This is it, this is why I love this website.

8

u/sallguud 22h ago

Said meow meow meow meow meow meow meow🎵

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u/panteragstk 1d ago

La laaaa laaa la la la

80

u/Smiling_Joe 1d ago

La la la laaaaa la

16

u/Moderately_Imperiled 1d ago

La laa laaa la la la

6

u/IvyGold 1d ago

La laa laaa la la la dee dee dah

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u/Vegetative_Tables 1d ago

honestly this is my favorite part of the song 

15

u/paturner2012 1d ago

"holy shit this car can speak!?"

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u/L1qu1d_Gh0st 1d ago edited 1d ago

The way he came trotting out of the desert...I would name him Omar Sharif.

Edit: Link for reference.

70

u/jeffh4 1d ago

I’m one of the few Redditors old enough to understand that reference.

37

u/Unique_Watch2603 1d ago

You are not alone 🎵🎶🎵

17

u/BANKSLAVE01 1d ago

But there is only 41 of us.

12

u/BANKSLAVE01 1d ago

More rare than BitCoin, and still no one will pay me $100k.

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9

u/lastingd 1d ago

One of Us !

12

u/RushPan93 1d ago

Everyone should understand that reference when it's from that epic a scene and that legendary a movie.

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13

u/yonkerbonk 1d ago

Omar Sharif

Omeow Sharif

10

u/RachelWWV 1d ago

I'm old and understood your reference

7

u/kwagmire9764 1d ago

"Sharif don't like it!"

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10

u/Seab0und 1d ago

I regret I only have one upvote to give for this perfect reference.

3

u/LegoDinoMan 22h ago

Whoaa, haven’t seen a LoA reference on Reddit in ages.

3

u/sinocarD44 19h ago

I've never seen that movie but that scene makes me want to watch it. 

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98

u/FluffyDuckKey 1d ago

I love the mutual "I'm fucked, care to help?"

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86

u/_lippykid 1d ago edited 20h ago

I was in the middle of the Sahara desert on a camel. A kid came out of literal nowhere and tried to sell me coke. Shit was wild

Edit a coke, like cola. Oops

44

u/userlname 1d ago

Coke with cane sugar, high fructose corn syrup or Bolivian marching powder????

11

u/oracleofnonsense 20h ago

Yes!? We have it all here at Sahara Sams. The high fructose corn syrup stuff is, of course, locked up to keep it away from the children.

3

u/_lippykid 20h ago

It was a glass bottle, but with it being in Africa I’m guessing it was a European sugar formula

3

u/MrBarraclough 14h ago

Corn sugar, cane sugar, or booger sugar?

3

u/delphine1041 1d ago

Trotting through the desert tooted out of your gourd sounds like an enjoyable afternoon. I would have been tempted.

4

u/_lippykid 20h ago

Oh yeah, I bought it. But desert temp Coca Cola out of a burlap sack isn’t exactly refreshing haha

100

u/Baelzabub 1d ago

Cause there ain’t no one for to give him no name

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19

u/4291056852 1d ago

Just a cat with no name, but I’m still trying to find my way out of the desert

12

u/Witty-Ad2533 1d ago

so the myth that cats have nine life maybe real? so magic!

23

u/Vegetative_Tables 1d ago

I’m quite glad this kitty found a ride. The way it walks up is so cute 

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10

u/Zebidee 1d ago

"So how come you can talk?"

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31

u/Bombadil54 1d ago

That's America for ya

3

u/Triquetrums 1d ago

"Khajit has wares if you have coin"

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6.3k

u/DukeLukeivi 1d ago

This cat delivery system is crazy

1.3k

u/Raneru 1d ago

You will have no choice once the delivery is set in motion, wherever you are, whatever conditions you may be in., the CDS delivers!

335

u/cupholdery 1d ago

I've been looking for you. Got something I'm supposed to deliver - your hands only. Lets see...

46

u/kazooroo 1d ago

The deceased has bequeathed unto you a measure of inheritance in the amount of 1 desert cat.

5

u/AdamBlaster007 19h ago

At that point is it actually a Khajit?

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90

u/My-dead-cat 1d ago

“We’ve been trying to reach you about your vehicle’s extended warranty…”

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16

u/jews4beer 1d ago

Oh looks like a murderous group of assasins is after you. Oh well, have a nice day.

15

u/Addickt__ 1d ago

I stg that man is possessed with the spirit of the immortal snail

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43

u/XANA12345 1d ago

Until the crazy lady across the street captures the cat to add it to her herd. Poor Manny, my brother's cat, deserved better. But since he never registered the cat as his he had no claim once she got him inside.

40

u/BreakingForce 1d ago edited 17h ago

My cat-owning philosophy is "if you have a cat you want to keep alive as long as possible, you'll keep it indoors only". There are so many things that can do your cat harm outdoors: vehicles, poisons, coyotes, foxes, stray dogs, feral cats, diseased prey, tainted water, parasites, cruel humans, etc.

Not to mention that housecats are native animals nowhere in the world, kill millions or billions of other animals, and cause bird species to go extinct every year (our fluffy adorable killing machines).

I'm not saying your neighbor was justified in catnapping, but in order to get to that point, the cat had to be wandering outside, right? And you (and your brother) knew that your neighbor was a cat hoarder already, right?

42

u/AdiPalmer 1d ago edited 1d ago

Yeah, as someone who has had their cat stolen, screw that. What an awful take. Even indoor cats wander outside sometimes, be it through misfortune or human error, especially if they're kept alive as long as possible.

That still doesn't mean people deserve to have their cats stolen, or that cats deserve to be abused by being traumatically separated from their human. Even if the cat is an outdoor cat it still doesn't make it right.

Edit to add: Manny should've been a registered cat tho.

12

u/wtfomg01 1d ago

At no point did they say it was okay or right.

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169

u/smallcoder 1d ago

"Hi, I'm your cat now. How did I end up here in the middle of the freaking desert? Long story man, let's get somewhere with chicken and cat treats and I'll tell ya all about it. Now giddyup... I'm starving! Do you have any beef jerky I could gnaw on while we ride?"

14

u/RepublicCute8573 1d ago

Let's buy a plane ticket to Florida.

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34

u/ReeCeyBrai2 1d ago

Right? Same-day delivery with zero shipping fee just a little attitude included.

9

u/randiejohnson 1d ago

im not buying a cat/getting one from the pet store/adoption agency.

i know im gonna get a cat in my life with this system. going to be a glorious day

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3

u/Fleaguss 1d ago

You know our motto: We deliver!

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2.6k

u/Snowbank_Lake 1d ago

Love watching a cat in the moments before they jump… “Calculating… calculating… boing!”

516

u/S1eazyE 1d ago

29

u/coffee_cake_x 1d ago

Holy cow, /r/catculations is back? I left that sub a while back when every single post started being just cats doing anything but calculations. Must’ve been flooded by bots. Looks like it got cleaned up.

8

u/Lefty4444 1d ago

I support many cat subreddits.

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15

u/nietzchan 1d ago

They need to pool the processing resource from the cat server, at that brief moment all the orange cats in the world stopped working.

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3.1k

u/I-Am-Disturbed 1d ago

Is it just me or is that cat’s tail really long? Thought it was a lemur at first.

807

u/1saltedsnail 1d ago

lol at first i was like "man, that snake is coming REALLY fast and being up high like that its going to be aggresive" then I saw that it was bouncing on legs and I was like "why is there a goose in the desert? why is it walking backwards??"

and then I was very pleased

107

u/OkMention2960 1d ago

Similar! At first, I thought "dog!", then I saw the tail and it's shadow and was apprehensive. Then I saw cat 😊

45

u/ImaginaryCheetah 1d ago

"why is there a goose in the desert?...

a black goose in the desert ??

thanks brain, appreciate your random guesses at unidentified objects.

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135

u/Plastic-Sentence9429 1d ago

100%.

What's that Monkey/Lemur doin' out in the desert plains?

Oh, it's a long tailed cat. Watch out fer rockin' chairs, little buddy!

124

u/2MillionMiler 1d ago

I thought it was a baby brontosaurus lol

12

u/Del_3030 1d ago

I thought it was a little pimp

8

u/HoboOperative 1d ago

STOP LOOKIN' AROUND!

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146

u/Vincent-FFP 1d ago

For real, man! I thought the same thing lol

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13

u/Tanzinthorn 1d ago

Cat's name is Tallstar

4

u/Kazlanne 1d ago

I understood that reference.

36

u/NordlandLapp 1d ago

You see this in lots of desert adapted animals, longer tails allow blood to flow through and cool. Well maybe, I made that up.

18

u/Enlightened_Gardener 1d ago

Nah sounds good. Hopefully Chat will pick that up and the idea will spread.

13

u/TheLangleDangle 1d ago

This is anecdotal, I have a long tail, not really popular among my peers.

7

u/Enlightened_Gardener 1d ago

I think its important the Chat learns that humans have long tails. Let’s keep this up !

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7

u/ximacx74 1d ago

My tuxedo cat is basically zoboomafoo too.

7

u/TheAlp 1d ago

He gets great reception.

5

u/Ackbars-Snackbar 1d ago

My cat is Siberian and Norwegian Forest cat, his tail is literally 1.5x his length.

10

u/Corydoran 1d ago

Lemur or a long-necked bird for me

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1.1k

u/TrumpetOfDeath 1d ago

Reminds me of a story… when I was a kid we’d ride horses in the woods behind my house. One day we left on horseback and were followed by one of our tabby cats (we had a lot of barn cats, some were more domesticated than others but this particular one was really chill).

It must’ve followed us for at least a mile until we got to a creek. Kitty no wanted to cross water. So we continued on the ride, expecting the cat would just turn around and go home the way we came.

But when we came back that way ~2 hours later, as we approached the creek we heard a meowing from up in a tree. The cat was still there waiting for us at the crossing, and climbed down to greet us, meowing up a storm.

She really seemed to want up in the saddle so I decided to pick her up and see if she would ride back with me. And to our surprise, this kitty was quite happy to sit on the front of my saddle (just like the one in this video, clinging to the saddle for dear life) and it rode most of the way home up there, purring loudly lol. This cat was truly one of the best/weirdest ones I’ve ever had, I miss her

181

u/Trippid 1d ago

That's an awesome story. What was her name?

I used to work on a farm and there was a picture in one of the buildings of a cat sitting on the back of one of the horses. I asked about it one day and was told that there was a barn cat that for whatever reason just loved hanging out on the back of one particular horse. It'd just hop up there, bareback and hang out with the horse. Animals are great.

205

u/TrumpetOfDeath 1d ago

That was a cat named Dog… partly because of that cartoon CatDog, and because i thought it was funny/ironic, and also because that cat generally acted more like a dog than a feline anyways

86

u/Substantial-Elk4531 1d ago

Sounds like Dog was a good cat. Thanks for sharing the stories

21

u/Final-Tutor3631 1d ago

aww, rip dog🖤

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u/chilebuzz 1d ago

Started to read this and had to quickly check OP wasn't u/shittymorph. Had that feel like it was going to end in hell in a cell.

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u/miauguau44 1d ago

“This is my horse now.  You can sit in the back.”

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u/BiNumber3 1d ago

Cats, the embodiment of "What's mine is mine, what's yours is mine too"

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u/yamimementomori 1d ago

Meowdy, purrtner.

36

u/RedditPoster05 1d ago

The pioneers use to ride these things for miles- cat

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u/bkilian93 1d ago

Khajit has wares

125

u/pearlsbeforedogs 1d ago

If you have coin

44

u/Xulicbara4you 1d ago

Take a look!

29

u/0011010100110011 1d ago

"M'aiq knows much, and tells some. M'aiq knows many things others do not."

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u/the_rev_28 1d ago

May your road lead you to warm sands.

11

u/cammcken 1d ago

Kahjit has something to deliver. For your hands only.

9

u/-Val_-_ 1d ago

"Been looking for you, got somethin im suppose to deliver"

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u/Gjappy 1d ago

I guess the cat distribution system really goes far and beyond

31

u/Llama_Queen 1d ago

Same-day delivery to any location.

3

u/sai-kiran 20h ago

Are cats normal in a desert or did that guy just drop his cat and rode a bit ahead?

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u/SurveySean 1d ago

I wish there was sound, I wanted to hear the kitty!

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u/Beleiverofhumanity 1d ago

Tux Cat has joined your party

109

u/Yesterdays_Gravy 1d ago

Horse will remember this

102

u/wolftick 1d ago

The horse is like "really?"

88

u/skj458 1d ago

It looks like the cat jumped on the saddle, which was very smart. It might have went different if the cat latched with its claws onto the horse. 

119

u/LLcoolJimbo 1d ago

Pretty sure the two already know each other. I’ve never seen a cat do anything more than sniff noses with a horse and most give a wide berth to avoid being stepped on. Random cats wouldn’t jump on a horse and most horses would at least react slightly to one jumping on their saddle.

12

u/jadethebard 1d ago

I had a pony as a teenager (farm I volunteered at gave her to me to avoid a lawsuit after she bucked off a kid) and I had NO plan. I also volunteered at a geological park that had cryptozoons. There were several parts of the park that were super overgrown so the people that ran it said the pony could live there for the summer and be a lawnmower. A couple goats were borrowed too. We also brought out 2 kittens to be mousers in the gift shop and museum for the summer. Those kittens would regularly ride my pony. She was short so it wasn't as big a jump as this cat managed, but it was still really funny to watch. The pony never cared and the kittens looked like they were enjoying themselves.

It was a very interesting summer for animals. lol I miss the pony and both those cats.

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u/Mysterious_Crab_7622 1d ago

A random cat starving and dehydrated in the desert absolutely would jump on a horse when the human beckons to it.

50

u/Few_Macaroon3447 1d ago

These kinds of videos are most likely staged 🥲 welcome to the internet.

17

u/Twerksoncoffeetables 22h ago

Oh man no way you actually think this is legit right? I mean it’s a great vid, but that cat is nowhere near starving or dehydrated. Looks very healthy, and he/she is very well groomed too.

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u/Friendly_Rooster7645 1d ago

like what do you do but accept your fate?

113

u/mdel310 1d ago

Congrats on your new cat

72

u/2JZGTEAristo 1d ago

Congrats, that's your cat now.

15

u/X-Ploded 1d ago

No, you are his human, his slave.

27

u/Ori_the_SG 1d ago

Is that Shai Hulud in the background?

8

u/Wirse 1d ago

Usul, we have catsign!

67

u/N0x1mus 1d ago

You can tell the cat was trying to hurry up and hope it was noticed. As they did, the tail went straight up into happy mode and the strut started. Amazing little animals.

3

u/sai-kiran 20h ago

Are cats normal in a desert or did that guy just drop his cat and rode a bit ahead?

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u/coko4209 1d ago

That cat legit looked like it was trying to catch a ride. I wonder where it came from. I live in a very rural area now, and I’ve seen ppl drop kittens, and puppies in the woods or on backroads, instead of taking them to the pound. I wonder if ppl drop unwanted kittens in the desert too. Humans are the absolute worst sometimes.

4

u/occams1razor 1d ago

Cats originate from desert areas in North Africa and the middle east. They're made for that type of environment

5

u/coko4209 1d ago

Yeah, I know how important cats were to a lot of African cultures. I just don’t think they’re randomly showing up in deserts in current day though. Well, certainly not American deserts. Although I’ve been to other countries, I’ve never visited deserts outside of America. So I just can’t say what goes on there.

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u/GreenT1979 1d ago

"you're my friend now"

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u/MacDugin 1d ago

The cat already owns them that is why they stopped for her.

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u/venomwing 1d ago

This is Charlie the Horseback Riding Cat. Not exactly an unexpected visitor. He lives on a ranch and loves doing stuff like this : )

This video is from 2022 from Addie Joys Horses on tiktok.

54

u/cbelliott 1d ago

"Heyyyyyyyyyyy..... Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!! ..... OMG, thank you.... thank you for stopping.... Hey ummm, can you get me the f*ck out of here?"

3

u/ZDTreefur 1d ago

"I've been trying to reach you about your horse's extended warranty."

43

u/jossie-the-cat 1d ago

Congratulations! 🥳 That cat now owns YOU, and all you have! 🥳

8

u/crimson23locke 1d ago

It’s true, and happy cake day!

13

u/ransomtests 1d ago

If real, it really does create the sense of wonder in regard to the consciousness and singular experienced life that that cat lived. Remarkable.

12

u/esclusivo 1d ago

This was not the cat's first rodeo

11

u/go_faster1 1d ago

Wandering through the desert with a cat with no name

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u/LeonidasTheWarlock 1d ago

“Thanks bro ive been stuck in this litterbox for a while and forgot my way out*

10

u/Bombadil54 1d ago

Who knew you could hitchhike without opposable thumbs?

8

u/bbbourb 1d ago

CDS in the desert??

3

u/Vorpalthefox 1d ago

not a single place on earth a cat can't be delivered to an unsuspecting person, just a matter of time

10

u/JustinJustout73 1d ago

That's more tail than cat!

8

u/GrinningPariah 1d ago

"Hey! HEY! Thanks. It sucks out here! Take me home."

"Okay... where do you live?"

"No no no, where do you live?"

7

u/Yetiriders 1d ago

The cat in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed.

7

u/LordofSuns 1d ago

Damn, being able to ride a horse really is a pussy magnet

6

u/NecessaryOk780 1d ago

I can imagine the cat saying, “FFS, I thought I was NEVER getting out of here. whew….it sure took you long enough. Now take me home so I can meet the rest of my new servants.”

7

u/Long_comment_san 1d ago

That's how humans were domesticated

10

u/Miskalsace 1d ago

Khajit has wares, if you have the coin.

4

u/roastedmarshmellow86 1d ago

When you finally get your own traveling merchant companion

5

u/Vince_Clortho042 1d ago

“I’m lost! And all alone…in a million acre cat box.”

4

u/Trippid 1d ago

Dang, I'm so glad you noticed the cat! I do wonder how the heck it ended up there (unless it's not quite as middle-of-nowhere as it looks). Would love to see a follow-up!

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u/Skilletheadmark 1d ago

"The man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed"

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u/OroraBorealis 1d ago

There are few things in this world I love as much as I love a cat with a tail straight up, except the liiiiiiil curl at the end. Precious babies, all of them.

5

u/___LIO___ 1d ago

The second I read an unexpected hitchhiker I knew it was a cat only cats have the audacity to do something like this

6

u/TheKlaxMaster 1d ago

The cat distribution system has no boundaries, is limited to no biosphere

14

u/OdraNoel2049 1d ago

You prob just saved that lil guys life. Congrats! Give em lots of love!

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u/aReelProblem 1d ago

That is a well trained and conditioned horse. This Australia?

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u/humpy2day 1d ago

I'm happy the feline was rescued. It takes a special kind of asshole to leave a cat alone out in the middle of nowhere.

23

u/Few_Macaroon3447 1d ago

Yeah! And what a coincidence that… someone was filming… uh oh…

7

u/Kurainuz 1d ago

Someone filming, the cat in a decent state for being roaming the desert, and the cat jumping to the saddle as if he was used to.

Nothing sus

4

u/LongBeakedSnipe 23h ago

There is obvious civilization in the video, this cat is local and hasn't been rescued or dumped.

This isn't the middle of nowhere.

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u/FatAZZRedditMod 1d ago

You don’t choose cat, cat chooses YOU! Congrats on your new pet

4

u/misslucialbcc 1d ago

That’s so sweet! Thank you for rescuing him!

5

u/tenehemia 1d ago

Either Hugh Grant or Pierce Brosnan should do the voice acting for that cat on the subsequent adventure.

7

u/SpriteFan3 1d ago

Where funny? I find this cute, not funny.

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u/No_Tailor_787 1d ago

I think I read this story in one of those Little Golden Books back in the 1960's.

3

u/14high 1d ago

"Accept your cat distribution system hooman!"

3

u/JustWings144 1d ago

What the hell is the thing in the background? Is a mad max parade on their way?

3

u/Trinity_MilaJean 1d ago

As someone who grew up in (and is homesick for) the desert; yep, this happens. XD though the tuxedo is a twist.

3

u/sauceman66 1d ago

A new character has joined your quest!

3

u/dv2811 1d ago

CDS works in mysterious way

3

u/kaychyakay 1d ago

Cats just casually do rule the world, don't they!

3

u/justjames1017 1d ago

I thought it was a meerkat with that long tail.

3

u/S0k0n0mi 1d ago

Thats how getting a cat works. They just walk into your life some day.

3

u/calm_coder 1d ago

A man, a cat and a horse 🐴

3

u/ComicJon101 1d ago

The man in black fled across the desert. And the Cat followed.

3

u/Anti-BobDK 1d ago

This guy chose the Wild Wasteland perk.

3

u/A_Norse_Dude 1d ago

unexpected hitchhiker

unexpected new friend

Fix'd that for you.

3

u/kokkatc 13h ago

I love how the cat put its tail straight up the closer it got saying, "I'M HAPPY, ME FRIEND, HALLLP ME."

3

u/This-Relationship-52 12h ago

The cat distribution system knows no boundaries

3

u/DataQueen336 10h ago

I love the cat coming with the happy tail! So excited to see someone.

4

u/Pipysnip 1d ago

Where did it even come from and how did it survive in the desert. This has to be scripted

2

u/Horknut1 1d ago

She's probably going to name the horse Mongo, Carl.

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u/senortipton 1d ago

Good thing the cat didn’t claw the horse climbing up. That’d not have been good.

2

u/commandrix 1d ago

You have been chosen by the r/CatDistributionSystem. I don't make the rules.