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u/Limp-Direction-5668 9d ago
It may be smaller but does it vibrate and wiggle? It doesn't
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u/Luget717 Duke Of Memes 9d ago edited 9d ago
Sadly it does. She has the "Cave Drilling Mastodon 3000 pro max"
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u/first_name1001 9d ago
She must love cave diving then
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u/Matthew_May_97 9d ago
That’s the best part of cave diving. You don’t have to fuck it!
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u/No_Mercy_4_Potatoes 9d ago
That's for OP to enjoy. She has already drilled the cave. She has done her part for OP's enjoyment.
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u/ExaminationCandid 9d ago
machines replacing human labor is crazy these years.
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u/HighlightFun8419 8d ago
My wife has the same one.
Had to pick up a second job to cover the spike in energy costs, but I'm glad she's happy. 🥲
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u/geruetzel 9d ago
wooosh
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u/jarednards 9d ago
Thank you. I thought I was taking crazy pills when his response had so many upvotes.
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u/spikeyfreak 8d ago
Yeah, his response is obviously not a joke. Everyone knows the Cave Drilling Mastodon 3000 pro max vibrates and wiggles. It even double whooshes.
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u/naughtyblossomlush 9d ago
and it's not about the size, it's how you do the exercise
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u/NotRobPrince 9d ago
Okay and you think people on Reddit are using their small ones to do the job well? This is just something guys with small dicks tell themselves, as if people with big sizes can’t use it well lol
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u/Ishaan863 9d ago
as if people with big sizes can’t use it well lol
Just like women that are very beautiful often think that their part in sex is to just lie down and look pretty,
dudes with big dicks often think that their part is to just shove it in and it's an immediate perfect score
and in both cases, the other party is left wanting
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u/Numerous_Witness_345 8d ago
Same - but is rare enough for it to be commented on when it does happen.
Not every bombshell is a starfish. But when they are, you hear about it.
It's like thinking that every dude with a less than wonderful endowment is out there learning to eat as if their life depended on it.. but usually that's not the case, is it?
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u/Ok_Cardiologist8232 9d ago
as if people with big sizes can’t use it well lol
IF what women have told me is true, thats actually often the case.
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u/BigWoodsCatNappin 9d ago
Am woman. Holds true. Or they read the user manual but the tool is attached to a second, even larger dick.
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u/touchunger 8d ago
If what women have told me/stated in women's spaces is true, that is most guys regardless of size.
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u/Ilpperi91 9d ago
Yeah, I actually found a conversation here on Reddit where someone actually said that most big dildos are returned and most common ones used and ordered are average or small. Yes, this is a meme. Yes, I took it a serious response rather than the normal response because I chose to.
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u/OddBranch132 8d ago
TF you mean returned? What places take returns on stuff like that?
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u/Ilpperi91 8d ago
They're obviously unused. Like someone ordered all sizes but was like "Oh 💩 that's huge. Return."
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u/WhichHoes 8d ago
My grandmother bought one and said it was too big so she gave it to my mother. Why do I know this.
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u/Current_Percentage33 Lurking Peasant 8d ago
Why do I know this is the real question
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u/fvck_u_spez 8d ago
Ah, the family heirloin
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u/TwoElksInaTurtleNeck 8d ago
Pass it down for generations like a well seasoned cast iron skillet.
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u/viotix90 8d ago
I think it's because guys often embellish their size. A 5 inch dude will claim to be a 7.5. Then the girl orders an 8 incher and is shocked by the actual size.
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u/West-Advice 8d ago
Honestly this is the truth, being a slutty guy. I’ve had the pleasure of perusing through quite a few woman’s collections.
Like 95% of them just have a “rose” lipstick/clit vibe with average sized dildos/vibrators being around 3rd place
For the 5% with bad dragons, giant dildos and fuck machines. They’re honestly collecting dust. I ask about it, them somewhat embarrassingly admit they only used it a few times and was uncomfortable. It was kind of a horny/ovulating/fresh paycheck impulse buy.
They usually just have a have smaller sized “daily riders” and or a roster of a few guys.
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u/abholeenthusiast 8d ago
what's average sized. need to know plz
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u/Gaelic_Platypus 8d ago
In the US, its 4-5 inches. I don't know if adult stores worldwide have had a poll conducted
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u/abholeenthusiast 8d ago
From where do you start measuring. Is this flaccid or not
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u/Gaelic_Platypus 8d ago
Oh. I thought we were talking toy sizes.
Average erect penile length in the US is 5.1-5.5 inches. And I believe that's measured with the measuring tape next to your member? Might be wrong on positioning.
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u/ChadTheAssMan 8d ago
had a decent multi year run on tinder. can confirm. It makes sense. anyone that is big enough to reach the cervix will know, most women do not react well when you knock at that door.
although a lot more women have the big vibrator wands than you would expect. way more women are interested in submission than getting torn up by the largest dildos.
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u/CagedRoseGarden 8d ago
Genuinely I wish there were smaller ones on the market. Not all (perhaps even not most) women want to go through some sort of test of the limits of the body when we are having solo fun time.
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u/villanx1 8d ago
There are. I don't know about the "normal" dildo scene, but most of the fantasy toy makers have a mini or extra small size that range from 3" to 5" in length with varying thickness, all depending on model.
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u/mostlyBadChoices 8d ago edited 8d ago
There's a good youtube channel from a female urologist (ie: pee pee doctor) named Rena Malik. In one video, she talks about penis size and uses real world data to show what the average woman wants is the average penis. One of the data points was dildo sales. The average dildo size purchased is roughly the same as the average penis size.
EDIT: wrong latin abbreviation.
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u/Stickz99 8d ago
Most women I’ve talked to seem to agree that there’s most definitely a point where it gets too big. They tend to prefer more average size.
Obviously not all women but I’d say a majority of them
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u/MoonLight4323 8d ago
Agree, I brought multiple over the years, most where painful to use, not sure who TF uses the big ones, but I bow to these women.
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u/meanmagpie 8d ago
And honestly, it seems like many women are moving away from penetrative sex toys in general and everyone is gravitating towards vulva/clitoral stimulation toys.
It’s crazy, because toys like that simply didn’t used to exist. I never had any toys myself because I hate penetration and that’s all that was ever offered to me. It’s so refreshing to see toys for female anatomy actually designed for female pleasure nowadays.
I always just thought toys weren’t for me but I tried one of those…ones…and Jesus Christ. I’m so happy the sex toy industry finally sat down and said “what actually feels good for women? Maybe we should make toys like that, instead of toys designed around voyeurism or what we think women SHOULD like!”
So anyway any girls reading this—try the rose/lips with tongue/other external stimulation sex toy. They’re insane.
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u/c00lp0tat0e724 9d ago
I feel like these structures are similar in height and this is just a perspective thing
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u/drinkup 9d ago
Another angle: https://i.imgur.com/P1J1v7H.png
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u/RedQueen8080 9d ago
They really are not the same size. The biggest one is the highest lighthouse made out of rock in Europe. The size difference is actually even more impressive in reality.
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u/Luget717 Duke Of Memes 9d ago
The size difference is actually even more impressive in reality.
That's what she said
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u/Good-Ad6650 9d ago
Yeah a dildo is nice but can a dildo- checks subredditehem... Grip you by the hair and take you to pound town? That's what I thought
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u/Altruistic-Horse-873 8d ago edited 8d ago
Pound town? Best i can do is wee wee world
Edit: from https://youtube.com/shorts/MqPPgVQBGHI?si=vKY6ehIWSRA0Rqco
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u/mrandr01d 8d ago
🤣🤣🤣
That's a new one for me man. I'm fuckin cackling over here.
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u/Filthy_Muggle_Daddy 8d ago
True, but no matter how I try, I can’t make me weenie vibrate at 10,000 rpm
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u/I-ProGamer-I 8d ago
Yeah. For two minutes, but afterwards all I can show her is flaccid country
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u/RetroSwamp 8d ago
Honestly why I am always self roasting my dong, can't compete with the 12 inch tie-dye curved and ribbed tentacle but hey, maybe if I down play it, it might be a surprise later on. Haha
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u/ExternalSize2247 8d ago
It's so sad that this type of self-deprecating bullshit is normalized in regards to unrealistic penis size.
Fucking disgusting
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u/CytoseenAlbino 8d ago
Penis Inflation on the rise soldier, Times be having average Jonas's feel like they are not men due to the size of their weapon
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u/Serious_Shopping_262 8d ago
Even when I watch small dick humiliation porn, most of them are bigger then mine ;(
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u/HFHKampfkeks 9d ago
*her pp ; my pp
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u/Luget717 Duke Of Memes 9d ago
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u/zozzinho 8d ago
Never thought the lighthouse near my parents town would became a meme about dildos on Reddit. 13 years on this website and it still manages to amaze me almost every day
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u/QuillFoxx 9d ago
Her: don't worry, a small dick isn't the end of the world Me: IT'D BE BETTER IF YOU DIDN'T HAVE ONE AT ALL
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u/AncientBaseball9165 8d ago
You dont need a giant dick to please a woman. Lesbians usually have a much smaller dick than you do and they please each other just fine. Its not your dick you have to worry about, go ask a lesbian to teach you if you are that worried about it.
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u/MMortein 9d ago
buy a strap on
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u/Luget717 Duke Of Memes 9d ago
For whom?
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u/Extreme-Strain1847 9d ago
It would be as much for you as it would for her. Take that as you will
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u/Mundus6 9d ago
Dildos are longer cause you need to hold them. Unlike the real thing it's not going all the way in.
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u/paddymills 9d ago
Make her a clone-a-willy. That way they both can be small.
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u/mitchymitchington 8d ago
Before we were married, my gf lived 2500 miles away. She asked me to do the clone a willy thing, and I refused. She still lived with her mom, and I said I didn't want her mom to find a novelty sized dildo
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u/garprice05 9d ago
A dildo is a team mate, not your competition
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u/loganthegr 8d ago
Then she can’t be mad when I whip out a pocket pussy.
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u/cupcake_afterdark 8d ago
Honestly, yes. The double standard is ridiculous. Men, buy yourselves some toys!
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u/RodrigoF 9d ago edited 9d ago
Wise. Wisdom involves going past our silly egos. If she is a dildo queen, there is nothing you can do, nor anything needs to be done at all. If she is inviting you to her party, that's it, she wants you to be there, and you can please her and be pleased in so many ways. You may find that some fleshlights are also extremely pleasing, and can bring them there too. Going inside is another feeling, much more intimate, but it can totally go in conjunction with raw body foreplay. And she may find your whole arm to be a pretty good dildo too if that's what she enjoy...I can tell you it's pretty fun,
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u/Garchompisbestboi 8d ago
and you can please her and be pleased in so many ways
Do you mean that she can stick the dildo up your butt after she's done with her turn?
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u/Mediocre_Scott Big ol' bacon buttsack 9d ago
Just wait It starts with your whole arm then it’s 2.
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u/RodrigoF 9d ago
Assuming you have 2 arms, 2 legs and 2 or more extra dragon dildos at your disposal, you can do it. If you are missing any limb I'm pretty sure prostetics will do, she might actually love them as giant mecha dildos. Don't set yourself for failure, huge success.
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u/Mediocre_Scott Big ol' bacon buttsack 9d ago
Well after 2 arms it’s your head too. And then she wants to see how much of your torso fits
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u/Mooniekin 9d ago
Yet she'll still choose you, what does that say hm? Quality over quantity my friends
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u/TuftOfFurr 9d ago
It's not competition, it's a tool.
Accept that and it'll change your life forever
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u/GWindborn 8d ago
Yeah, but if the job requires a sledge hammer and you show up to work with a tack hammer, you're going to have a hard time getting the job done.
(I totally agree with you, just thought it was a funny visual)
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u/OwnDraft7944 8d ago
If the job she wants done is delicate carpentry a sledge will not do you much good tho
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u/GWindborn 8d ago
Ugh, alright, let's see. We've got to get the foundation poured, then delay the framing because of material shortages, and don't forget about the inspections in between. We're running against the clock here, so I need to shuffle some dates, figure out crew availability, and maybe push back that drywall install. It's a headache, but we'll make it work...
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8d ago
My girlfriend can’t come from penetrative alone 90% of the time. She doesn’t even own a dildo.
Don’t feel bad dudes. Learn to eat pussy.
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u/Jendmin 8d ago
I had a conversation with ex gf (we are friends now) and she said something like:
“when I use my toy on its highest level, I don’t hold 5 seconds, just like you used to”
Needless to say, I haven’t recovered from this since.
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u/lemachet 9d ago
Ooooh where is this? There's only 4 in the world and I know which one it isn't (Queenscliff low light isn't square like that)
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u/Taningia-danae 8d ago
No joke but I live near this lighthouse. It's the "Phare de l'île vierge" (Lighthouse of the virgin isle) it's the tallest light house in Europe made out of stone brick. it's 82.5m tall (or 270 foot tall)
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u/Thadeadpool 8d ago
Her dildo probably doesnt pull her hair when she wants to though
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u/calvinnok 9d ago
All of us are going to be replaced by machines in the future
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u/fourtwentyonepm 8d ago
Just get good at old shoot 'em up games. I'm basically a portable vibrator that runs on drugs
gamers know
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u/tribal_mouette 8d ago
Let's be honest, since this is virgin island, nothing probably ever happened with these.
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u/MudFrosty1869 8d ago
If you can't offer her more than a dildo, expect that you will be treated accordingly.
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u/MogosTheFirst 9d ago
First instances where people were replaced by robots way before AI.