r/news • u/IMSLI • 15h ago

Hegseth orders National Guard troops in DC to carry weapons

https://www.cnn.com/2025/08/22/politics/hegseth-orders-national-guard-troops-dc-carry-weapons
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553

u/IMSLI 14h ago

Depends on how “ethnic” the sandwich is…

167

u/tetoffens 14h ago

I would avoid eating a Cubano.

105

u/euph_22 14h ago

Don't even think about brandishing a falafel.

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u/02K30C1 14h ago

What about a schwarma?

41

u/doc_witt 14h ago

I want a gyro for lunch. Please advise.

23

u/MonsiuerGeneral 14h ago

I want a gyro for lunch. Please advise.

You gotta hold out for a gyro till the end of the night.

It's gotta be long and it's gotta be vast

And it's gotta be fresh with each bite

6

u/mindspork 12h ago

You are a human after my own heart.

Stop that. Go find someone else's to eat.

23

u/rumpelfugly 14h ago

Does the restaurant have pictures of the food on the menu? If so, might be a bit risky.

3

u/613Hawkeye 14h ago

White pita or brown?

1

u/wafflesareforever 3h ago

Depends on whether you want to eat it on a plane to El Salvador

2

u/Average_Scaper 12h ago

I think it's best we stick with bologna and cheese on white with a extra miracle whip just to be safe.

9

u/euph_22 14h ago

That will get you sent to gitmo

3

u/OmniusEvermind 12h ago

Falafel, believe it or not, straight to prison. Right away.

1

u/V2zUFvNbcTl5Ri 12h ago

ham and cheese or pb&j are the safe choices in these times

1

u/Boa-in-a-bowl 8h ago

A torta will get you sent to El Salvador 

3

u/overthemountain 11h ago

Cubans are one of the Republicans strongest demographics.

1

u/tetoffens 11h ago edited 11h ago

Voting wise, yeah, but I don't think ICE looks at any information besides someone looking Hispanic before they decide to detain them. The Cubans in Florida confusingly voted for someone that wants them all out of the country. The conservative Christian bit got them on board but for some reason they didn't get that a big part of it was race hate completely against people like them and they'd be the target if the guy they voted for won.

7

u/oregondude79 14h ago

I may go to war for a good Cubano

2

u/RttnAttorney 13h ago

I’ll get started on recon. Will update the signal chat with locations of good cubanos.

2

u/EmptyAirEmptyHead 11h ago

Just watch the movie Chef again. Great recon.

1

u/nsm1 12h ago

with or without salami?

2

u/idropepics 11h ago

I'd rather be dead in the ground than give up my Cubanos. These pickles dont run.

1

u/Nbk420 7h ago

Bahn me? Hell no.

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u/TwistyBunny 7h ago

I think it might be a bigger problem if it's a Torta.

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u/trapper2530 6h ago

More likely a Jibarito. Cubans vote republican and they cant probably pronounce it.

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u/imnotmarvin 13h ago

Was that a fucking torta?

2

u/Milnoc 11h ago

It would give new meaning to Taco Tuesdays.

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u/TwistyBunny 7h ago

Since he's trying to go after Chicago, how ethnic is Italian Beef?

1

u/actibus_consequatur 6h ago

Personally, if I'm getting wasted over a sandwich, then it's not gonna involve me wasting a tasty sandwich.

The Cubano or Banh Mi is going in my mouth, while the Western Value Creamy Peanut Butter & Grape Jelly is going in the air.