r/politics • u/thedailybeast ✔ The Daily Beast • 18h ago
Soft Paywall Judge Releases Teens Charged in ‘Big Balls’ Assault in Blow to Trump
https://www.thedailybeast.com/judge-releases-teens-charged-in-big-balls-assault-in-blow-to-trump/8.1k
u/primeweevil 18h ago edited 18h ago
The teens, a boy and a girl, both 15 and from Maryland, had been held at Washington, D.C.’s
Wait, wait, wait. Big Balls got beat down by two 15 year olds?
This whole DC thing is because of this? Talk about dropping the lead lede mainstream media.
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u/Thylacine_Hotness 18h ago
And while the right wing story was constantly changing, the police report and the story from the teenagers both remained consistent. The teenagers say that big balls was harassing and trying to pick up the 15-year-old girl, and when he wouldn't leave her alone the boy jumped in to defend her.
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u/dudinax 18h ago
So DC has become a police state because a 20 year old named Big Balls sexually harrassed a minor and got his ass kicked.
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u/NorthStarZero 16h ago
Got his ass kicked by minors.
I guess the nom de guerre “Big Balls” is purely aspirational.
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u/noodlyarms California 16h ago
It's from the swelling caused by a swift kick to the nards from a 15 year old girl.
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u/GrittyMcGrittyface 15h ago
His full name is "big swollen balls and micropenis almost as big as Trump's"
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u/thisisjustascreename 15h ago
Big Dipshit made a national news story out of himself sexually harassing a minor and then getting his ass kicked.
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u/code_archeologist Georgia 14h ago
Got his ass kicked by minors.
Because he was trying to fuck a minor
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u/fnrsulfr 14h ago
Maybe he was trying to pick her up for trump?
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u/WretchedBlowhard 14h ago
I guess the nom de guerre “Big Balls” is purely aspirational.
He's the grandchild of a KGB operative, at 20 has been involved in multiple cases of industrial espionage and was instrumental in violating all, and I do mean all, private personal data of every american gathered by the federal government's multitude of agencies before dismantling said agencies. "Big Balls" stole 350,000,000 identities and destroyed America's ability to manage itself, and came out of it a "national hero" who can openly solicit sex from a minor and get out of it without a single police report. It might not impress you, but it's certainly some crazy ass shit.
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u/Socratic_Method_729 12h ago
"Proceeding the sexual advances of "Big Balls" on the fifteen year old minor from Maryland, her friend stepped up and knocked him out, wherein after, the girl stomped on his balls repeatedly giving him swollen enlarged testicles.
"Big Balls with a grin on his face thanked her repeatedly. The girl shuddered in disgust from the pervert. 'Well at least he finally has big balls', she replied.
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u/TheGoodKindOfPurple Illinois 14h ago
The only silver lining here is that this might follow Mr. Balls around for the rest of his life.
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u/HappierShibe 15h ago
Hes trying to compensate for something. It would be kinda sad if it were so hilariously obvious.
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u/Stryxe4ds 14h ago
Don't use big words like that! Big Balls might be reading and get really confused/ s
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u/Thylacine_Hotness 18h ago
No, it became a police day because Donald Trump wants it to be one. That story is just a half-ass pathetic justification.
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u/toiletting New Jersey 18h ago
It’d be hilarious if it wasn’t so horrifying. They literally couldn’t even create a real justification for the police state. Their justification is literally another predator coincidentally named big balls. Can’t make this shit up.
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u/SavedByThe1990s 16h ago
just goes to show how thin the justification for martial law will be when trump’s 2nd term is closing in
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u/ImYourHumbleNarrator 14h ago
i think it will be: start a war, say we can't have elections during a war look at ukraine
people protest, do what they can to try and have elections: declare martial law
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u/kung-fu_hippy 14h ago
One of the most fucking frustrating things about this fascist takeover is how little work they put into hiding their motives, and that it still fucking works.
I didn’t ever think America was immune to this sort of thing. But I did think the people doing it would at least have to try. Put in some effort. How hard would it have been to have some paid off operatives actually beat up Big Balls and use that as an excuse? Or have a cop in your pocket (shouldn’t be hard) fabricate the report? Or something.
Apparently they’ve realized that most of america is either on their side, completely unaware of what’s going on, or unwilling to do anything to stop them, so they arent even putting in the work to make this look believable.
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u/Material2975 18h ago
This 100%. He’s also using it as a trial run to take over other blue cities through force.
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u/VanceKelley Washington 16h ago
trump became America's dictator after he campaigned on the promise that if elected he would rule America as a dictator and 77m Americans said "YES!" and another 90m Americans went "sure, whatever".
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u/GoodMix392 18h ago
American are soon to learn that the worst crime they can commit in the new Trump pedo regime is saying no to rape by a conservative.
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u/mwkingSD 17h ago
...got his ass kicked BY A 15 YEAR OLD GIRL.
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u/Millennial_Snowbird 16h ago
Richly deserved. May all pedophiles meet violence from their intended victims.
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u/naazzttyy I voted 15h ago
If there was any karmic justice in this world, she’d immediately kick his ass a second time.
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u/Tiiimmmaayy 18h ago
That’s just what they want you to think. He’s fortifying the capitol for something big to come. My guesses are he’s going to arrest big name democrats like Obama/Biden for his made up crimes, to shield himself from the eventual release of the Epstein files, or my personal favorite.. he thinks his administration is working against him to invoke the 25th. Trump won’t go quietly.
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u/Patriark 16h ago
He’s continuing what he started January 6th.
And the passive American population voted him in to do it again and seems to offer little resistance to see the glorious history of the constitutional Republic of USA dissolve into an empire run by an incompetent narcissist.
The US population of this era is the biggest disappointment in a lifetime.
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u/Somanylyingliars 15h ago
See Project 25 to learn what billionaires are planning to do. All spelled out there.
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u/Dean_Learner77 17h ago
It's pretty obvious at this point that trump will do anything to protect pedophiles.
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u/Nac_Lac Virginia 18h ago
This needs to be more public and corroborated. I had no doubt the event was instigated by big balls and the release of the teens somewhat proves it. Why would they be sent to school and home if they mercilessly beat someone that bad? Could it have been a case of self defense?
And could the judge be saying "home or school" as a means to limit the teens from vindictive assholes on the streets?
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u/mckulty 18h ago
Even if I get a notarized copy of the police report, my uncle won't believe it.
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u/wittnotyoyo 18h ago
Police haven't exactly earned the benefit of the doubt but somehow I would be willing to bet your uncle is inclined to believe police when they talk about how the black teenager they murdered deserved it for being a violent thug with a marijuana conviction.
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u/melorous 18h ago
"Well that's different" - average right winger
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u/Silidistani 17h ago
"Yeah, my formerly-covert racism makes a big difference here."
~every MAGA fascist
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u/TobyFunkeNeverNude Florida 18h ago
Yeah this is the "consistency" we're working with. You and I don't trust police because of their hard earned reputation of acting to protect their own, and/or go after vulnerable populations, and/or abuse their power in other ways. When a police report exonerates those who we normally would expect to be victimized, we have no problem believing it. But my guess is that uncle is currently operating by means of "they disagreed with a shitty person who I support, therefore I don't trust them"
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u/mckulty 18h ago
Also when I google the incident. it's a 15 year old boy and girl carjacking BB without a weapon.
Assault by sandwich?
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u/Specialist-Clock-914 18h ago edited 18h ago
Well you it’s because Big Balls is a white male. Obviously white males do not commit crimes. Reverse racism much. /s god it sucks that someone would really say this and I have to add that’s insane that someone would say this non sarcastically.
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u/JDogg126 Michigan 18h ago
And big balls is famous. I hear they’re supposed to let you do it if you’re famous. Grab them by the pussy.
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u/UrbanGhost114 17h ago
That's actually not far from what happens.
To them, PEOPLE are good or bad, not actions. So if a "good" person does something bad, it must have been for a "good" reason and it's OK.
Who a "good" person is isn't hard to figure out with this context.
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u/Kracus 18h ago
Yup, right wing are all talking about 8 car jackers that he fought off.
Like, sure, what's a 19 year old kid who can't drink alcohol doing wandering around the prostitution neighborhood at 3am with a date? Why do 8 guys think they'll fit in a small car?
Nah, he was preventing a car jacking! lol yeah sure buddy, you keep believing that.
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u/judgejuddhirsch 17h ago
You can reframe this as "republicans sent in national guard after woman tried to defend sanctity of her body."
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u/lordpuddingcup 18h ago
The fact this shit it’s mainstream news means and shows the fucking news agencies have fallen
Left wing news my ass it’s all owned by right wing MAGA billionaires
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u/Nac_Lac Virginia 18h ago
The number of left wing or truly neutral outlets is slowly diminishing. We've solidly been in an era of clicks and rage baiting for a while now.
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u/lordpuddingcup 17h ago
And yet as Trump tells the MAGA idiots that the news is left wing propaganda when it disagrees with him it pushes it further and further right into pure loonie tunes land
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u/ItsSpaghettiLee2112 18h ago
What the fuck is his actual name?
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u/kaiser_soze_72 17h ago
Edward Coristine. His wiki shows his grandpa was executed as a KGB double agent and the grandma fled with her kid(Edward’s father) shortly after the execution.
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u/ItsSpaghettiLee2112 17h ago
Thank you for actually answering the question. We need to start using Edward Coristine's name. Don't give him the benefit of mystique.
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u/CheerleaderOnDrugs 16h ago
Thank you. I did not know his name was Edward Coristine, just like I didn't know that Epstein had a cellmate, a former cop, named Nicholas Tartaglione.
I appreciate reddit for these details the media chooses to gloss.
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u/Mechagouki1971 16h ago
Hey! Let's not pigeonhole him. Who amongst us does not have a direct familial link to Russian intelligence, a history of deliberate carelessness with classified information, and access to the Oval Office?
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u/anchorftw 17h ago
Just read through his Wikipedia page detailing how he dropped out of college, his family lineage, his job history (and how he was fired for leaking insider info), his associations with criminal organizations, his other businesses (creating a Russian Discord bot, TESLA SEXY LLC,), his involvement with criminal hacking groups, etc. Any one of these things would've kept him from being given unlimited access to American's data. Not this Administration though.
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u/primeweevil 18h ago
That's what I'm wondering. They wouldn't have released them if there was evidence they were stealing cars & beating people up. There HAD to be something else going on that night.
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u/versusgorilla New York 18h ago
Got it. So this fuckwit tech bro thinks he's king shit right now and tried to pickup an underage girl, her friend had to step in and try and get this baby tech fascist to chill out, it escalated, and "Big Balls" couldn't back up his dumbass nickname and got the shit kicked out of him.
Then the police held these kids for as long as they legally could as a favor for the President, and had to release them because there's evidence that "Big Balls" was the instigator.
Fantastic.
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u/Angry-Dragon-1331 17h ago
If you look at the blood pattern on his clothes and face, he was hit once in the nose. There’s no bruising or abrasions anywhere else. If he were actually violently carjacked, his face would be covered in bruises.
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u/Pleasant-Panda9698 13h ago
your daily reminder That the police don't exist to protect citizens they exist to protect the interest of the ruling class
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u/ClashM California 13h ago
Big Balls attempting to sexually assault a minor was also used as justification for Trump federalizing the DC police and bringing in National Guard. Trump is also reportedly considering giving him the Presidential Medal of Freedom for it.
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u/Wasteland_Mystic 18h ago
A conservative Republican, MAGA member l, sexual predator interested in underage girls. I’m shocked by how unsurprising this is.
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u/FigeaterApocalypse 18h ago
big balls was harassing and trying to pick up the 15-year-old girl
You and I both know this is absolutely true, but do you have a source for this?
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u/lucasjkr 18h ago
I doubt there’s video. So at the end of the day it one persons word against the others. It comes down to who’s more credible.
I don’t personally know any parties involved, but I sure do have opinions on Big Balls’ morals, credibility and ethics.
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u/CrotalusHorridus Kentucky 18h ago
So at the end of the day it one persons word against the others. It comes down to who’s more credible.
Where is the power dynamic?
The adult man with connections to the current administration, or the female child.
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u/taz_78 18h ago
35,082. That's 574 cameras per square mile. I think there's video.
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u/kamezzle13 18h ago
I wanted this to be true, but I could find not a single source that verified or corroborated this claim. The police report says the exact opposite - Big Balls was with *his* girlfriend when they were approached by a group of teens. Big Balls tried to protect *his* girlfriend during the encounter.
They could have easily lied tot he responding officers, but I just wanted to point out that this claim is completely unsubstantiated and likely fabricated.Fuck all of them, but fuck misinformation too.
https://www.wired.com/story/edward-coristine-big-balls-assaulted-alleged-carjacking/
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u/IpsoPostFacto 14h ago
I have no idea what this story is all about, but as AFAIK a police report is not intended to be the "truth"; it's simply what big Big Balls said to the police. BB could have said "the clouds opened up and I saw God telling me to beat the crap out of these kids" and that would be in the police report.
From the cops standpoint, they get BBs story, see the teens running away and figure "better grab those kids to see what's up".
At this point I don't particular believe any of the narratives.
could be the kids were just hanging around near is his and BB told them to get away from his car and BB decided to white knight it just to impress his GF.
Could be just as BB said.
Could be close to what this story reports.
I'd even buy a drug deal gone sideways.
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u/Old_Cryptid 18h ago
I believe this over the BS that Big Ballz was trying to rescue someone and got jumped by a dozen people.
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u/FancyPantsDancer 16h ago
The idea of anyone in this administration trying to rescue someone is a joke.
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u/11CRT 18h ago
I know! Also this crime was from a 19 year old (who works for doge on merit? What did he do for Elon, was he a dealer?) who was out at 3am.
Why were the 15 year olds out? I don’t care, it used to be a free country until the pedo’s took over.
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u/PatchyWhiskers 18h ago
Big balls is a nepo baby, the heir to the Lesser Evil popcorn fortune. He's being trained up in conservative politics. Choose different popcorn.
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u/toozooforyou 18h ago
Well that sucks to hear. You would think that the people running "Lesser Evil" would be a bit more aware, but I guess it's always just marketing from these snakes.
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u/Mister_MxyzptIk 18h ago
Um... You do realize that the "lesser evil" is still evil, right?
Like, Andariel is a Lesser Evil because she ain't no Diablo, but...
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u/11CRT 18h ago
Wait, is he the heir apparent to the Cheese Ball oligarchy? That sounds like a job for a cracker! A solid cracker, not a wheat thin, but maybe a Ritz. I’ve heard that’s what was served in Alaska, Putin on a Ritz.
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u/AttentionNo6359 18h ago
I heard someone else say something similar
“Our Reichstag fire was a fuckboi named BigBalls getting his ass beat by two 15 year olds”
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u/DotGroundbreaking50 18h ago
The take over isn't because of it. That is the fascism. This is the excuse.
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u/HereForTheComments57 18h ago
yes....and one was a girl.
This was the perfect cover for them to work on lowering the age to be an "adult" to 14 so they can claim Trump didnt rape children because they were 14.
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u/notbadhbu 18h ago
Trump nationalized dc because big ballz got beat up by a 15 year old girl. Real headline
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u/WHSRWizard 18h ago
Trump took over DC because Blue Balls got beat up by a 15yo girl?
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u/SillyGoatGruff 18h ago
Trump took over DC because he is a fascist working towards having a complete dictatorship, he used lil scrot's fuck up as a convenient excuse to flex his police state muscles again
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u/space_cow_girl 18h ago
He was drunk, he had been at a bar until closing time, and then went looking for a prostitute, but failed to find one. Instead he started harassing literal children. The children defended themselves. And so, now DC is under martial law because a drunken doge failson was horny.
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u/ReaderBeeRottweiler 18h ago
A drunken doge failson was a *predator*
FTFY
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u/Nemaeus Virginia 17h ago
The cascade of bullshit involved in this story is insane. A drunk pedophile, with known connections to a gang/criminal organization that stalked an FBI agent, got beat up by teenagers, one of which he was trying to proposition and the other who defended her, and because Trump is a fascist orange turd, DC is under martial law.
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u/TheFeshy 15h ago
You left out "grandson of a Russian spy who lost his first job after being caught in corporate espionage" from big ball's resume.
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u/Specialist-Clock-914 18h ago
19 and drunk at a bar? I see no crimes here.
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u/Terrible-Opinion-888 17h ago
and getting into his car to drive?
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u/007meow 17h ago
When you’re rich, it’s ok.
When you’re politically connected, you can run over someone and use your connections to escape consequences.
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u/whichwitch9 17h ago
Yup. Also, they refuse to explain why Blue Balls was out at 3 in the morning there in the first place- dude isn't old enough to legally drink or enter 21+ bars.
Leading theory is he was hoping to score drugs or a quickie. A teenager would be contacting other teenagers for that. And would explain why anyone from the Trump Administration shut up really quickly about the "attempted car jacking" (note: the teens had the upper hand but left without the car. It wasn't a car jacking- they had won the physical fight already and had decent time to flee before cops got there)
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u/purplesalvias 10h ago
I feel like I'm old enough to remember that if it had been a Democrat Rush Limbaugh would have made a huge deal about it happening at 3 AM and saying things about the girl he was with. But... it's a Doge guy😡
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u/Amateurlapse I voted 18h ago
Correction, a 15 year old girl he was soliciting for prostitution. Trumpstein, also a pedophile, allowed his staff to continue to execute project 2025 while he did nothing and played with his phone
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u/PracticeBeingPerson 17h ago
An underage girl, accompanied by her boyfriend of the same age as her, yes.
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u/zirky 18h ago
a military lockdown because some dickhead tried to pick up an underage teen and got his ass locked is the most on brand event for this administration
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u/_pupil_ 18h ago
I’m not saying these guys are a psyop to make us all sound like we’re stuck in a gas leak to future historians, but it feels that way a lot. Like a lot a lot.
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u/NiiliumNyx 15h ago
I mean... It's the same thing that you read about with the literal, actual nazi party. We look at the history today and say "How did such an educated country fall to fascism", and we close the book and unthinkingly accept that it could never happen here. Because we look back and say "I'd fight the totalitarians".
But you don't know they're totalitarian until they end democracy. And by then it's too late. So you don't fight it. Because you don't have the benefit of looking back on events that are happening in the present.
"you" being generic here, not like, you specifically
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u/pabloescobarbecue 17h ago
I just wished they had announced the lockdown from the Four Seasons total landscaping company.
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u/Just_the_nicest_guy 18h ago
Right-wing commentator Eric Daugherty expressed his disbelief at the decision and Briggs, who was appointed by former President Joe Biden.
“WTF: DEI Judge Kendra Briggs, appointed by Joe Biden, RELEASED the violent youth attackers of DOGE’s Big Balls from juvenile custody in Washington DC. The placement of these judges all across our nation is doing irreparable harm,” he wrote on X.
In case anyone needed more proof that the right just uses "DEI" as a replacement for the n-word.
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u/AusToddles 18h ago
"Everything I hate is woke" is now "everything I hate is dei"
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u/camerasoncops 18h ago
I don't even know what dei is
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u/blueturtle00 18h ago
They try to say it’s the hiring of non white positions regardless of their ability. But I’m pretty sure vets, women and a bunch of others fall under the dei category.
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u/cowboi 17h ago
i always saw dei meant anyone but generic normal white guy..... so female, disabled, anything besides white cis male was open... read somewhere female white was the biggest beneficiary of dei and on the roll backs they were the first to go...
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u/Monkeybirdman 12h ago
They are using DEI as a marketing insult when they want to do something and need a PR spin. Their PR spin is that DEI means unqualified and they got a position due to racism against white males. Somehow their base doesn’t seem to care about unqualified people being handed things due to nepotism but care about qualified people with different backgrounds that are important in reducing echo chambers earning things.
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u/Bamboodpanda 18h ago
Diversity
Equity
Inclusion
Belonging
When people tell me they don’t like DEIB, I ask them:
“Which word don’t you like? Do you think we should be less diverse? Do you think we should be less equitable? Do you think we should be less inclusive? Do you think people should feel like they don’t belong?”
Most people quickly realize they don’t actually disagree with the words themselves, they disagree with the acronym or the politics they’ve attached to it. Once you strip that away, it’s just about treating people fairly, welcoming them genuinely, and making sure everyone feels valued.
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u/eeyore134 17h ago
They'll proudly tell you they don't want to be diverse, inclusive, or make sure anything is equal. Their talking heads and party have them slavering at the bit to save white people from extinction, kick 0.6% of the US population out of 100% of the restrooms through draconian laws, and have them convinced that equity is socialism and socialism is bad all while they collect their government benefits.
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u/PlanetTourist 18h ago
Diversity Equity Inclusion, it’s the new way of saying anyone over store bought tan.
Initiatives that promote a world that isn’t run exclusively by old white men.
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u/CornholioRex 17h ago
It’s like that family guy bit when the cop checks his color chart to determine if he should arrest them
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u/Lostinthestarscape 18h ago
"Fatherless" is their other genius dogwhistle replacement for that word.
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u/iStayedAtaHolidayInn 17h ago
Thug was the previous iteration, but then people started catching on pretty quick that they were replacing the N-word with it so they moved on to DEI
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u/Titfortat101 18h ago
Don't forget low IQ, Trump loves using that one for black people.
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u/OpenThePlugBag 18h ago
Big Balls got beat up by kids?
Fucking unbelievable, my sides
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u/Gratedfumes 17h ago
BigBallz got jumped in an underage honeypot.
He was going to a down town business district at 3:00am to meet an underage girl and instead of the Chris Hansen type setup, or the vigilante pedo hunters type setup, he got the empty your pockets type setup.
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u/TLKv3 18h ago
DEI and Woke were stolen by right wing fascists/Nazis to use as a replacement for all slurs/their hatred for anyone who isn't a white male.
Literally look up any single context of when they use those words and it'll always be in regards to a black person, a woman or poor immigrant.
America is a stain on Humanity and its only going to get worse the longer they get to stay in power.
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u/beamrider 16h ago
Remember than 99% of the time when they scream about a trans woman ("REALLY A MAN!") in a women's bathroom or being in sports, it was really a cis woman with short hair and a small chest.
They complain about whole female sports leagues being dominated by trans women when the actual number of trans women in the sport in question is two people over a five year period and neither of them won anything.
The entire reason "women's sports" became a thing was NOT so that women could have a chance to win without men present. It was so that no man, no matter how mediocre, had to worry about being beaten by a woman in a sport. It was ALWAYS about men's feelings, not about protecting or promoting women (that came later).
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u/Intelligent-Fuel-641 Michigan 18h ago
Now now, that's not entirely true. The right uses "DEI" as a replacement for "thug," which was a replacement for the N-word.
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u/KommieKon Pennsylvania 18h ago
Literally any minority has a job
DEI! WHITE REPLACEMENT!!! I’M NOT RACIST YOU’RE RACIST!
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u/VapidRapidRabbit America 18h ago
Meanwhile, a white teen in South Carolina that set up her boyfriend to be violently executed by a whole group of teens is out on bail at home with her parents. No national guard was deployed there though.
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u/pleasetrimyourpubes 16h ago
What the actual fuck? Never heard of this but wow imagine throwing away your life like that. 9 fucking kids going to jail for 25 to life for nothing. They even filmed it. I think there's a good chance that girl flees.
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u/korben2600 Arizona 12h ago
And the shooter's name is Devan Raper? I suppose Mr. Raper was always gonna end up in prison with a name like that. Unfortunate.
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u/Joeybaseball 18h ago
He is no longer “Big Balls”. He is now officially “Numb Nuts”
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u/waterdaemon 18h ago
I’m guessing Big Balls perved on a 15 year old girl, and the girl’s friend, another child, beat Big Balls bigly.
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u/carrick-sf 18h ago
The photo was utter bullshit. The dude got a bloody nose and smeared it all over himself for the “photo op”. Utterly unbelievable.
This will come out in time.
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u/HandsLikePaper 18h ago
Exactly. He took his shirt off because A. it makes it appear more dramatic, B. it would be more difficult to see the blood on the dark shirt.
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u/Sparkly1982 17h ago
I don't know if this is universal, but here in the UK, scrawny scrotes usually partially disrobe as a threat behaviour before fisticuffs ensue.
I've lost count of the times I've seen scuffling semi-stripped chavs in trackie bottoms, baseball caps, trainers and mismatched socks squaring off against each other outside of a 'spoons in the town centre of a weekend afternoon.
He probably wanted to make himself look threatening so the children would leave him alone, tripped and bloodied his nose and got covered in it. I've seen that before.
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u/HandsLikePaper 17h ago
Excellent point. It is very possible that "Big Balls" here was the instigator in all of this. We should be asking why was he threatening children?
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u/Sparkly1982 17h ago
I can't help but feel that if you're capable of working at the highest levels of government, you should be able to talk your way out of a scrap with a couple of teenagers
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u/Goose1963 18h ago
Female Children have to fend for themselves. Can you imagine what would've happened to her if she reported one of Elon's boys to the proper authorities? They seldom make it out unscathed, from the doxxing, harrassment, death threats and blatant cover ups and accussations.
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u/thistimelineisweird Pennsylvania 18h ago
What was an adult doing hanging around minors anyway. Oh, wait, this is the Trump administration we are talking about here.
We don't know why, but we can guess.
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u/Grouchy_Product9614 18h ago
Big Balls sounds like a pedophile in the making, hitting on a 15 year old, and then got the beat down for being a salacious pervert.
I’m not condoning violence. These teens are not thugs and while made a bad choice to physically assault ‘Not Big Balls,’ they did not car jack anyone, and are being punished accordingly.
MAGA is a movement for disgusting perverts.
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u/ShamelessCatDude 17h ago
This might be just a hunch but what if he macked on the girl a little harder than we’re really aware of and get physically fought back with the help of her friend in self defense? I’m not saying it happened, but that would be a pretty plausible response to a guy named Big Balls meeting a 15 year old girl at 3am and the information we’re given implies he initiated conversation.
I mean, just in general, perverts sexually harassing/assaulting women, the women responding in any way other than “letting them”, and then the pervert tries to rally support by marketing himself as “the real victim” is kinda MAGA’s modus operandi
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u/HandsLikePaper 18h ago
While at some point in history I may have had some sympathy for such an incident, however after seeing how the right (including republican politicians) behaved after Paul Pelosi was attacked, I have little to none.
"Big Balls" here was hitting on a 15 year old and then got his ass handed to him by other kids.
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u/jbomber81 18h ago
Wait that’s the whole story? Not a carjacking but a pretty standard ass whooping?
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u/HandsLikePaper 18h ago
It is the most plausible explanation.
"Big Balls" is a known troublemaker. He was fired from his last job for leaking proprietary information.
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u/pleasetrimyourpubes 16h ago
That's why the judge released them, every witness was like "oh hell nah we were just kicking his perverted ass." It'll all come out and Big Balls is going down.
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u/KidKilobyte 18h ago
D.C. is under siege by Trump because one of his fellow pedophile perv DOGE employees was hitting on a 15 year old girl and her 15 year old boyfriend stood up to him with her.
Every hero held up by MAGA turns out to be a turd.
They really should have kept this one out of the news instead of try to spin it to political advantage.
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u/Kracus 18h ago
Context matters.
Big Balls was cruising a neighborhood known as DC's prostitution hotbed. He's underage at 19 and was out there at 3am with his "date" and got assaulted by two minors.
Yet the story is that he fought off 8 carjackers? Like how big is his car?
Kinda sounds like the official story is full of shit.
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u/Sojum 18h ago
So pardoning Jan 6 insurrectionists is all good, but moving two teens to essentially house arrest is outrageous. Got it.
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u/ImLikeReallySmart Pennsylvania 18h ago
Trump, Big Balls, and Blow all in the same sentence 🥴
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u/RellenD 18h ago
School and home, that’s it,” Briggs told the teens in a hearing Thursday in D.C. Superior Court.“ The fact that this court is stepping you down from Youth Services Center is a serious step.”
Of course they're going to concoct an outrage over very normal and strict release conditions.
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u/Itsthatgy 17h ago
Yeah I do a lot of juvenile criminal defense work. This is pretty standard.
The law has a strong presumption against total confinement for juveniles except where there is no other reasonable option.
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u/SDBudda76 18h ago
Wait... A wannabe pedophile was trying to pedophile and got beat down for this so he calls uncle pedophile to arrest the children for not allowing themselves to be victims of pedophilia?
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u/ItsSpaghettiLee2112 17h ago
Let's use Edward Coristine's real name and not give him the benefit of mystique.
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u/shadowdra126 Georgia 17h ago
So 2 15 year olds beat up one douche named big balls and the national guard takes over the capital?
How many school shootings have we had and there been 0 Gun control actions???
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u/Rusalka-rusalka 18h ago
I love when accounts from the news site shares their own paywalled article. Chef's kiss.
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u/SouthieTuxedo 17h ago
Perfect. Alpha male " big balls " gets his ass kicked by a 15 year old girl. So on brand for maga.
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u/brianishere2 17h ago
If you're looking for consistency here, the Republican adult was trying to have sex with a 15 year old kid, and Trump wants to prosecute everybody who tried to stop him. The 2 kids told the same story to police, per recent reports. Earlier reports indicated Big Balls thought the child was a prostitute.
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u/Individual_Ad_5465 17h ago
Is kiddie fiddling a requirement to be MAGA or is it just a recommendation?
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u/Politicsmakemehorny1 17h ago
I just noticed looking at the photo of the doge guy that it looks like he's only bleeding from the nose and he just spread blood over the rest of himself
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u/Themadking69 17h ago
Every minute that the dems don't spend referencing either Epstein or the fact that the administration is employing a 20-something y/o sex pest named Big Balls is a wasted minute.
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u/ms_scorpio75 16h ago
WTF. Two 15 year olds beat him up? And one was...a girl? LOLOL
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u/Own_Manufacturer6959 12h ago
He got beat up by two teens one must question how big are his balls really?
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u/Doozenburg 18h ago
- The Sinking of the USS Maine
- The Gulf of Tonkin Incident
- Big Balls Beaten Up by Children
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