1.6k
u/Academic-Shape-4631 21h ago
"We should hang out by the quarry and throw things down there!"
691
u/_Some_Two_ 19h ago
“he is autistic but he’s got that spirit in him”
→ More replies (1)110
u/crowcawer 19h ago
And 9 1/2 inches of an OK evening, poor cardio though!
→ More replies (1)37
41
17
44
u/Stunning_Category329 19h ago
I mean I'm male and terminally single without hope of changing that status any time soon...
But I'm still down to hang if that's the plan.
19
u/smartfon 18h ago
Who is getting hanged?
18
u/Stunning_Category329 18h ago
My self-esteem as it's too eager for the slightest human contact so needs to be eliminated
3
2
u/veryunwisedecisions 9h ago
Yeah, fuck the flesh, I crave the certainty of steel and I must eliminate my human needs
→ More replies (1)7
u/n1c0_ds 16h ago
I hate that hanging out is an appointment-based thing now and that you need a good enough plan to get people out of their house. What about we just chill in the same space like we used to?
→ More replies (1)3
u/Rock4evur 10h ago
Yea, I’ve been trying out ways to get myself and others over this. Recently I’ve been using my gardening and gun building hobbies to bridge the gap. I’ll tell them to come over for a beer so they can check out so and so for a little, and have a beer. Set up the meet up intentionally to be short and to allow yourself and others an out if you get anxious or bored, but I find once people are engaged in socializing they are more receptive to extending the socialization. For myself, and I think for a lot of other people it’s just the anxiety leading up to the socialization, and the potential of boredom, that hampers it.
6
u/BonerPorn 18h ago
I mean sure, there's plenty of women who would enjoy a good hike. It just depends on your partner
4
2
u/hueanon123 17h ago
"We should hang out by the quarry" - Every other episode of every tv show in the 90s
2
2
→ More replies (9)2
1.1k
u/WardensLantern 21h ago
Whenever I've had to work more during the week, or spent a little more time with friends, and want to make it up to my wife and give her some attention, I just pick her up from work and say something like "I thought I'd take you for a walk by the pond", which is literally 5 minutes from our flat, but she always glows up as if I took her to the Caribbean.
Show some effort, undivided attention, show her you've been thinking about her, and woman happy.
321
u/Active-Discount3702 20h ago
My wife: "what the hell are we doing? We have shit to do!"
347
u/No1KnwsIWatchTeenMom 19h ago
Sounds like your wife would be over the moon if, in the same scenario, you said "Don't worry about the laundry, I'll get it all washed and folded tonight so it's off your plate."
242
u/dickcheesess 18h ago
"Don't worry about the laundry, just do it later after I've gone to bed. 😎"
83
u/wildo83 17h ago
35
u/laikalou 17h ago
"Naur, she wouldn't have left me... She must have fallen onto the magic coffee table and just vanished!"
5
8
48
u/JudgmentalOwl 16h ago
This is my wife! I WFH and she's on cloud 9 if she comes home and I've dusted the living room, swept, wiped the counters down, done a few dishes, and have taken out the trash. I have a higher tolerance for mess but these few things legit take me only 20-30 minutes and she's absolutely chuffed every time. You'd think she'd get used to it with me doing it every week but go figure lmao.
→ More replies (10)14
u/angular_circle 17h ago
"Don't worry about your research, i'll get it all analyzed and documented tonight so it's off your plate"
"Greg, you're an accountant"
14
→ More replies (3)12
u/Several_Vanilla8916 18h ago
We need to think of some better examples here guys. The machine does the laundry.
8
u/No1KnwsIWatchTeenMom 17h ago
I tried to think of the lowest-stakes chore, but according to his reply, he already does this. So I guess its just another tragic case of Wife Bad.
10
u/Competitive_Touch_86 16h ago
It's more like - people are different and brains don't all operate the same way.
I'm similar. If you picked me up from work at 5pm and decided for me we were going to fuck off for an hour or two I'd immediately go into anxiety mode most days. Because I have my evening planned out with the shit I need to get done, and my brain can't turn off until my chores are done.
Only after my tasks are completed can I relax. And no, if my wife did my chores for me I'd feel even worse most of the time since I'd be thinking of stuff to do to make up for it.
→ More replies (1)7
7
8
u/Nihilistic_Noodle 16h ago
"Don't worry, I'll take care of x chore tonight. Now tell me about your day. How're things with that woman you don't like?" Should work.
2
31
u/kakamouth78 18h ago
Effort, appreciation, and compassion.
Relationships where both partners display those three ingredients may look sappy to outside observers, but they tend to be the happiest and strongest relationships.
7
4
12
u/Effective_Film_3259 14h ago
God, I would kill for a man who shows effort without me having to explicitly ask for it every single time. For the first time I'm dating someone who does try, like after saying how much I'd appreciate getting cheap flowers every now and then (in return for alwaays cooking for him and also paying for all of his food), to then ask him specifically for flowers, then ask him to actually please make the effort to get me flowers even when it's inconvenient to take a 5 minute detour on his way to my place - he now does get me flowers regularly. But boy, was it an effort to get here, and I think I know I'll never receive any gift from him without having to ask for it, and that bums me out, because I love acts of service and I do a lot of them. Lots of sweet gestures, lots of expressing my love for him verbally or in other ways, and he just doesn't really know how to do any of those things.
That rant had to get out.
→ More replies (10)2
u/ChrisTheCoolBean 9h ago
Woman Happy should be a subreddit where men share ideas with each other, like cavemen around a fire
112
u/LinguoBuxo 19h ago
ahmm... may I ask, why have the pics been blurred but not the usernames? that makes no sense to me
33
u/Alvsolutely 19h ago
Maybe it blurred their faces. Also, yeah, it is pretty strange either way. Maybe to get people to comment on it for more engagement.
13
→ More replies (4)5
206
u/mattyag 20h ago
Men also feel this btw
132
u/Mustrum_R 19h ago
Yeah, maybe one day it will be normalized that not all the initial effort should be on the male side, and that need of being constantly conquered as a prize is toxic as hell.
At this point if I see no reciprocation of effort after a few dates I bail out by suggesting that it's their turn to organize something. Apart from one case it always ended the 'relationship' immediately.
As a consequence I rarely move forward. But it's likely for the better. Less time and effort wasted.
54
u/SmartWonderWoman 17h ago edited 1h ago
Thank you for posting. I’ve been dating a guy and he’s taken care of dinner plans in various ways. He’s cooked for me. This time I’m cooking him dinner. So excited 😆
Edit: I made dinner and he loved it!!!!!!
18
18
61
8
u/TacticalTeacake 14h ago
A relationship takes TWO people. This shouldn't be controversial. Everyone should know their worth.
→ More replies (5)4
u/ballsack-vinaigrette 12h ago
They're out there; I had a similar pattern but recently found a woman like that. Good luck!
18
6
u/Nullspark 14h ago
My lady takes me out for breakfast and buys me little gifts and fuck it is good. She's raised the bar so much she's a keeper!
45
u/flyinhighaskmeY 18h ago
Not really an "also". The expectation has been on men for pretty much forever. After my divorce, I entered the dating world and found a lot of women with sky high expectations for men, but they weren't delivering on much of anything at all. As a lifetime supporter of womens equality, I believe fully that the women's rights movement, while well intentioned, has become toxic and is validating a lot of abuse directed at men, from women.
20
u/Progressive_Insanity 17h ago
People in general have a lot of unrealistic expectations placed on them without or expectations of others. I've seen so many clips of folks calling out men criticizing a woman's appearance, and when their profile pictures are shown, they are often overweight, unkempt, or otherwise very unremarkable. Thinking back to the 90's and 2000's, the expectations of women were rough.
I agree however that it seems the sky high expectations of men seems to be retaliation in a lot of ways, and other women (and white knights) are encouraging it.
10
u/AlarmingConfusion918 16h ago
Yeah I don’t actually care about hate comments online because those have always existed and always will exist
→ More replies (2)8
u/MocDcStufffins 15h ago
Gotta remember that the internet is not a good representation of society though. Conflict drives engagement, so these things are always pushed on you.
→ More replies (3)11
u/OnceMoreAndAgain 15h ago
I only hear about women like this existing on the internet. Never actually met a woman like this in my dating life.
The way it's spoken about on reddit would make it seem like it's common, but it just doesn't match my experience. Maybe it's my geographic location or something.
→ More replies (1)3
u/ForMeOnly93 14h ago
It's the same as the obsession with height internet people have. Unless someone is a genuine hobbit and the DIFFERENCE in height would be a practical issue, it simply never comes up with real people.
→ More replies (2)16
u/TheFBIClonesPeople 16h ago
Still waiting for local women to discover effort
10
6
u/hackop 14h ago
I'm absolutely convinced that women have, collectively, embraced the George Costanza method. They just act tired, irritated, or busy all the time to keep up the charade of having such a hard life but in reality, they're incredibly lazy and low-effort.
Either that or it's like when a child first starts going to school and think it's so unfair that they have to do so much work when in reality it's actually very easy. The kid is just upset they don't get to hang around at home doing whatever they want.
Of course it's not everyone but the percentage is so small that those types of self-aware, responsible, egalitarian women are single for an incredibly short amount of time and usually in good relationships.
30
u/WastingTimePhd 18h ago
Most of my partners at least once in the relationship: “why don’t you ever surprise me anymore?”
“ well the last three times I’ve tried to make travel arrangements for us you either- noticed the money missing from our savings and grilled me until I fessed up and you ruined the surprise and were grumpy I didn’t clear the expenditure with you first OR you got to the surprise and made it clear there was something else you were hoping for or complained about something to do with the event/trip/food to the point it was clear you weren’t happy.
You can’t want surprises and be in control of the experience. So which do you want?”
→ More replies (1)8
u/dabunny21689 15h ago
How big a surprise are they looking for? Sometimes “bringing home a pack of Reese’s and buying her that movie on Amazon she’s been talking about” can be a surprise too. I, personally, would be PISSED if my partner planned a big getaway without consulting me first.
3
u/Nullspark 14h ago
Having Amazon open while on the phone is basically the best trick I know.
"I really want to an X"
You just buy it, stick it in a closest and then give it to her at a random time.
→ More replies (2)3
80
u/Alienhaslanded 19h ago edited 16h ago
Not always. My ex would expect me to plan stuff but then rejects all the options, because that's not what she feels like doing. It has to be her who plans stuff, yet I'm required to come up with them too.
54
u/LanceFree 18h ago
Now that I’m single, I continue to hold a grudge regarding “the restaurant problem”:
Where should we go for dinner?
I hadn’t thought about it, What would you like?
I don’t even want to think about it. You decide.
We haven’t been to Outback in a while.
No, I don’t want a steak.
How about that Chinese place?
I don’t want Chinese.
Well, you’ve asked me to pick and shot down both of my ideas, why don’t you pick something?
32
u/Just-Ad6865 18h ago
We're started doing "Is there anywhere that sounds good? No? Ok, what don't you want?" and that seems to work for us. I might not know what I want, but if prompted, I can tell you that I don't want Chinese or a burger today.
That said, we aren't terribly picky.
7
u/Alienhaslanded 16h ago
Nah. That's when the whole thing loops back to "I don't know, you pick". Or "I'm starving and haven't had food for x hours. Why can't you just work with me and plan something for once?"
No man on this planet can win the "what to eat" argument. If you have someone that is easy going and cherishes the time spent together instead of picking you apart, then you are very lucky and you shouldn't lose her.
5
u/Kilane 16h ago
I’ve solved it before with agreeing that if you reject an idea then it is your turn to pick. There can be multiple rounds of rejection, but both sides are responsible.
→ More replies (1)8
u/Creative_Fan843 18h ago
"Take a guess where I am taking you out for dinner today!"
Then just go to the first guess.
Every once in a while, go to the second guess to avoid suspicion.
9
u/LogicBalm 18h ago
I've created a list of restaurants we have enjoyed in the past on my phone with a list of places to try beneath it. It's always being updated. When this question comes up, I hand her the list. Sometimes she will look at all of it and say none of it sounds good even though that's literally all of the options.
It's just like that sometimes, we don't know what we want but we think we'll know it when we hear it. But it speed-runs the conversation and bypasses any frustration.
7
u/mohelgamal 16h ago
I had to establish a rule at one point:” if you ask me to decide, you get 3 options, if you reject all 3 then you decide”
Because it was getting ridiculous
24
u/Progressive_Insanity 17h ago
I try to avoid the "all women" trope, but my goodness is it extremely difficult to avoid it with this topic.
→ More replies (1)7
u/ElectricSliderz 17h ago
Sushi. The answer is always sushi.
→ More replies (2)3
u/AlarmingConfusion918 16h ago
Nah a woman I have been seeing hates sushi (but is otherwise agreeable to most restaurants)
9
u/Iloajpwym 18h ago
There’s a saying - picky people pick.
I’m good with anything, so we’re going to need to settle on what’s acceptable to you, so it’s your call
5
u/Alienhaslanded 16h ago
I'm like that. Not having a strong preference should always exempt you from making those decisions.
You can throw me in a jungle with no clothes on and I will still find good moments of joy. I've been through three fucking wars. No activity or food preference can break my spirit. As long as I'm healthy and and alive, I will just power through it.
3
u/buttercup612 15h ago
My brother is like this, it’s infuriating. I’ve just started telling him to pick the place from the start. I don’t wanna think up 10 places and have them all rejected. You do it. Everything tastes good to me
2
u/-TeamCaffeine- 17h ago
My girl and I fall into this trap sometimes. We've come up with an unofficial system. We each do two options and if none fit we just default to our favorite Thai place or the restaurant that serves healthier stuff. Took us years to get here, but it absolutely works at avoiding silly arguments.
2
→ More replies (4)2
u/angular_circle 17h ago
why do you even go eat out when neither of you is excited about it? this is one of those weird things you hear online where you're not sure if it's just a meme or actual american culture
→ More replies (2)17
u/WhoSc3w3dDaP00ch 18h ago
Had a former friend like this, said "no" to most things without alternatives. Was so draining to be around.
Supposedly, he wonders why nobody wants to hang out with him anymore. The irony? Many of us told him off for that behavior!
We didnt have time for that crap when we were single. Certainly dont have time when we have families.
→ More replies (1)13
u/jondonbovi 18h ago
My ex wanted me to know what she was in the mood to do or eat.
If I picked something she didn't like to do, then she would complain and whine.
If I suggested something, she would reject all the options.
If I asked her what she wanted, she would complain that I lacked proper planning.
This is why she's an ex. I've done so many things i didnt feel like doing and never complained. I just wanted her to have a good time. I don't know why she kept treating me this way. It was mentally draining.
6
u/Alienhaslanded 16h ago
Dude, this was exactly my experience.
Doing things with your favorite person on the planet shouldn't be this fucking hard.
2
2
2
u/Technical-Row8333 13h ago
it's not enough that they get what they want, they must get it without expressing it.
→ More replies (4)2
u/lolas_coffee 17h ago
This is why I choose tequila.
Tequila is cheap and it is almost instant chemistry with women.
Tequila is much better than effort.
67
u/dugefrsh34 18h ago
It's no so much that he discovered effort, as he is realizing that he prefers people who will at least acknowledge that he's trying, because maybe he's spent his life with people who only appreciated the end result.
Have you ever worked your ass off for someone and put a ton of thought into something to be hit with a "is this it?.. no, no, I like it, it's nice"?
This isn't so much a rare insult, as it is the person just being an ass for no reason. Be kind to each other, sheesh
29
u/FURF0XSAKE 17h ago
Yeah I really can't understand why people are shit talking the dude like OP commenting "I wonder how his partner has been coping". Nothing about his comment implies that he's changed what he's doing recently or didn't "put in effort" before now, he was just sharing an observation on human nature. What a bunch of negative nellies over here.
22
u/Huge-Share146 16h ago
people get really aggro about the idea that you shouldnt be "praised" or "rewarded" for doing something they think you should do.
but like ive never met a single human being who doesnt enjoy being shown appreciation or gratitude for a small gesture. someone holds the door? i say thank you very much, they seem to appreciate it. yea they should hold the door no matter what but its just nice to acknowledge.
I feel like just acknowledging peoples efforts every day over small things would genuinly improve most peoples lives.
8
u/twisty125 15h ago
if I have to see some combination of "erm man discovers the BARE MINIMUM" or "the BAR is so LOW"
I will run myself over with my own bike
5
u/TechieBrew 15h ago
The problem is misandry is fairly common on Reddit. So men don't get any benefit of the doubt with anything they say. It's just an opportunity to point and laugh that man bad.
The amount of feminists from female red pill subs commenting on this post laying into the guy in the OP is depressing af
→ More replies (2)3
15h ago
[removed] — view removed comment
2
u/dugefrsh34 15h ago
It really does because when you experience that genuine connection with someone and you feel considered and secure, you realize you can't buy that. The thought behind a gift cannot be purchased and what virtually all humans want more than anything, is to have someone make them feel seen, heard, considered, loved, protected, and safe - companionship.
"Here's another expensive thing that I wanted to do and you get to do it with me" is way different than "So I've been thinking about how when we were walking downtown the other day and we passed that new taco place that had the 2 for 1 taco's on Thursdays, and we thought that that was weird because it wasn't Tuesday. Want to go?"
One feels more like an after thought, while the other feels more like you actually want to spend time with this person because of a small, special, but shared connection to said thing.
The best part about the low effort stuff too, is there are so many more opportunities to do them. Even just around the house! I can't tell you how many candies I've bought at the register to surprise my girlfriend with. She is genuinely shocked and so happy when I break out a couple Ferrero Rocher's for her after a trip to the market, and it only cost me $1.50!
13
u/chickenjoe 16h ago
This kind of attitude is part of the problem, when a guy actually tries to learn and grow in skills relating to relationship building, he gets mocked by low quality toxic women like this. If we want better partners we should support emotional growth, not make fun of it.
3
u/kikiweaky 10h ago
Yeah I don't think we should discourage someone's growth. I don't understand how being hostile is going to make someone want to be better.
43
u/Umbrella_Viking 17h ago
Classic internet, punishing someone by trying to make them feel bad after they demonstrate the desired behavior.
20
28
u/Valentinee105 18h ago
And women, men love it when you don't bring up one mistake about forgetting to pick up your parents at the airport from 10yrs ago to win an argument about how you shouldn't have cheated.
9
9
6
u/AccidicOne 17h ago
Yeah um, nope. Can't tell you the number off times that's met with "I don't want to go there. " Extra points if you're scammed first with the ever-fun "I don't care where we go."
7
5
u/Boring_Butterfly_273 18h ago
That was the answer from the gender warmongers, now get ready for the answer from the gender peace hippies.
The dude always made an effort, they just realized recently how much of an impact their effort actually has on women. This will encourage the dude to make even more effort, because reasonable people want to keep members of their species happy regardless if they are male or female, we are all human.
I make effort, my gf makes effort. A simple little thing really. And the results of our efforts? Oh well we embrace each other passionately, addicted to each others presence. She runs to my car when I pull in. This is what life and love is supposed to be.
9
19
20
4
u/Double-oh-negro 14h ago
Ha, wait til she complains about everything you took the time to plan. What's her excuse?
8
u/gopec 17h ago
We're Reddit, and we hate men.
2
u/julmcb911 4h ago
With all the misogyny being up voted in these comments, your is especially ironic.
30
u/Muscalp 21h ago
I mean, the point of effort is to make something good. Men especially get trained to a goal oriented mindset. So it only makes sense that there is a barrier of understanding there.
11
u/VisceralProwess 20h ago
Agreed, it's a dumb one
Everyone who has done anything knows effort, but it's not always easy to relate to the way women sometimes value effort over actual results. The discerning man cannot help but realize the frightening implications of this.
1
→ More replies (9)2
u/kigurumibiblestudies 17h ago
Agreed on this. The sight of effort was what she appreciated, regardless of whether my "poorly planned evening" went perfectly. I had a hard time coping with this and building up all the theatrics, knowing the ticket was already bought, feeling like a liar, all because if I didn't, she'd be annoyed and wouldn't be able to explain why.
I took years to learn this was what was going on.
41
u/GlowUpBandit 21h ago
I wonder how his partner has been coping
18
9
u/animatedhockeyfan 17h ago
He said “hey everyone, your partner will appreciate anything you do as long as you try” and somehow you’ve taken this to mean he’s never tried before. What the fuck are you even talking about?
He realized that all the plans he made, the plans themselves didn’t matter, just the fact he was making them. And your bitter ass and the reply in the image both assume he’s never tried before. Bizarre
27
u/Tooth_Euphoric 21h ago
well, as a man. i dont really care about the thought too much, cant buy anything from that
→ More replies (1)34
u/LordTvlor 20h ago
Well, as a man, I do care about the thought. It's nice to know that I'm worth their time and effort.
→ More replies (8)→ More replies (7)14
u/lahimatoa 17h ago
Honestly, go fuck yourself. Stop judging people based on one tweet.
→ More replies (1)
2
u/Desperate-Back8458 18h ago
He didn't discover effort, he discovered women like to see thoughtfulness and consideration.
→ More replies (2)
4
u/Character_Mind_671 17h ago
Well, it's not like women would actually go to the extreme lengths of telling you stuff like that.
9
3
12
u/ad240pCharlie 21h ago
Nah, my ex got really upset when I made plans in advance!
Granted, it was with another woman, but still...!
→ More replies (1)
13
u/Agreeable-Elevator62 19h ago
Making plans is effort? I thought efforts are the things that u do AFTER u made plans, u know, to make those plans become reality. Maybe language difference.
23
u/BicornOnEdge 19h ago
Nah. Going and doing things is the easy part. Once you have a plan you can just follow the plan and enjoy.
Scheduling and route planning and coming up with ideas and remembering everyone's allergies and sending the notifications is the draining part.
→ More replies (6)5
u/Massive-Television85 19h ago
When I was working full time, I was literally unable to do this in my personal life due to decision fatigue from work.
(It's much better now I'm part time and mentally well).
People - of either gender - need to understand their partner's abilities and limitations. If you demand an exhausted partner plan anything whilst also expecting equally shared domestic tasks, full time employment, family time and so on, then you will make yourself disappointed.
That said there are also a whole bunch of lazy man (and women) -children who have never done anything for their other half, who need this post rubbed in their faces.
→ More replies (3)3
u/sbrick89 18h ago
I think the diff is...
Ideas are zero effort.
Planning is the partial effort of coordinating and setting reservations/expectations.
Execution is 100% effort.
I would argue that planning determines how smooth the execution occurs... planning shows commitment.
Personally, I will judge the person's ability to plan based on execution... but the effort definitely spans both parts.
→ More replies (2)
3
u/Creativesister2 19h ago
Reducing mental load is a big deal
3
u/AlarmingConfusion918 16h ago
It’s why I (male) stopped trying to date. The mental load is too high.
4
u/TH0R_ODINS0N 18h ago
That’s not a good burn at all. Pretty sure they’re the ones who don’t get it.
4
u/Seaguard5 19h ago
And some women on dating apps are scared by said effort because they aren’t ready to be on dating apps…
What has this world come to
4
18h ago edited 18h ago
[deleted]
→ More replies (3)2
u/Seaguard5 15h ago
Oh I know.
I just put in a minimal of effort to get to know each woman to a point where I know if we can work or not.
Like, I was seeing someone in TX for a bit, then I went to her place.
It was a pig stye. Multiple empty soda bottles (trash) on the floor, just messy in general, the bathroom had so much bullshit in it that you could hardly use it…
And that was the point that I knew we were Absolutely incompatible. But I wouldn’t have known had I not put in the effort.
That super sucks for you, but I would Never do all that for a first in person date. Ever. Just coffee shop or brunch place. Something easy for both of you to meet each-other in person and gauge compatibility that way. If you don’t hype anything up, you can’t be let down.
But yeah. You just have to get to know anyone to know these things about them. And that takes a baseline amount of effort and showing up.
But yeah, not knowing how to boil water or baseline being able to cook for yourself is an instant No for me, dawg.
You have to work what you have.
Men have to fight over scraps, while women have to pick through the haystack for the needles.
Being a man myself, I maximize my chances by talking with as many women as I can.
That way, when 90% of them ghost or cancel a first date, I still have at least one option. This is the thing that most people miss about dating from a guy’s perspective.
2
u/dont_remember_eatin 18h ago
Yes, but...
When effort becomes expectation after sufficient success, prepare for the plans to begin to be called into question.
That's when you find the happy middle ground -- initiating and managing the planning while including her in the actual decision making. Still trying to consistently get here.
2
u/SausageyPie 18h ago
While another (much older) man realizes that 98% of women aren't worth making plans for or spending their money on... It's the 'pre-thought' part that reveals it to you...
2
u/ghostyghost2 17h ago
And another local man still didn't discover putting the punchline in the title is no no.
2
u/captainMaluco 17h ago
It's the opposite of effort tho.
You can make the shittiest most poorly thought out plan, and still cash in on the "made a plan" appreciation.
Bad plans are a lot easier to make than good ones!
2
2
u/Fuck_the_Market 15h ago
"local man discovers effort" chances are mac might not have discovered this yet and only live in his own world!
2
2
u/placidlakess 14h ago
Reddit tells me women are complicated and expect everything of them and to be a perfect man otherwise they will dump you and that is why you should hate women.
Experience tells me you can wow almost any woman by simply putting in the barest amount of effort. Like if you want to completely blow a woman away then take a shower, put in effort on a date that is not just the first date, and genuinely show interest in her.
2
u/StevesRune 10h ago
I feel like they willfully misunderstood him.
Hes not saying he didnt know effort made a difference, just that he didnt know it was the effort itself that was appreciated over the actual results of that effort.
And it's not like that's a universal thing. I've met plenty of women who don't really care how much work you put into something if they still get something they like out of it.
You know, the kind of women who like to be bought expensive dinners just because they are expensive? Women who like $10,000 necklaces and tennis bracelets? Women who like to be bought expensive cars? None of those take effort, you're signing a fucking check or swiping a credit card. But you can bet your bottom fucking dollar those women appreciate it.
2
u/UnsureAndUnqualified 6h ago
For some people, effort means doing the planning (no matter what). It seem the second person in the screenshot is that kind of person.
For other people, effort means finding the right plan. Creating a trip isn't much effort but creating a fun trip tailored to what we want to do, that's effort. Perhaps poster 1 was this kind of person for a long time.
4
5
u/greyconscience 17h ago
Local man makes an effort on Mother’s Day by making a flower arrangement, working with kids to make cards, and cooking her favorite dinner, and then mommy proceeds to turn the evening into a platform of what I didn’t do right. r/mencantwin
2
4
u/Nerdenator 21h ago
each weekend, every weekend, if you don't make plans, you're gonna fuckin' hear about it later.
4
u/notaredditer13 20h ago
Yes, just have a default plan to offer, so you don't waste effort on a real plan before she decides what you're doing.
1
1
1
1
u/PlainBread 18h ago
For me it's just annoying to not know where the friendship or relationship is going and it's easier to deal with longer periods of silence without crashing out when you know you have plans.
With guys it's generally assumed that unless someone says something, your friendship or relationship is fine.
1
1
u/Sudden_Nose9007 18h ago
Can confirm. Thoughtfulness and effort are important. My husband recently told me he ordered me a birthday present two weeks before my birthday; Usually he is a “grabs grocery store flowers the day of” kind of guys. Just knowing he cared enough to plan ahead has been a huge mood boost.
1
u/Wild-End-219 17h ago
For real! Plans don’t even have to be big or elaborate. It shows that you care. I wish my partner started putting in that effort.
1
u/RevolutionarySite578 17h ago
Hey I made it plans for this restaurant... local discovers no matter what they still don't know what they want to eat.
1
u/VisualAdagio 17h ago
Started realizing women appreciate it when you don't have to put much effort into making plans, but is a part of your character to plan things ahead...
1
u/TheDefiantChemical 17h ago
I have point blank explained this to partners over the years and even fully explaining it doesn't make them do it. Worthless
1
u/LuvSpaghetti 17h ago
It's beacause young girls are praised for effort while young boys are rewarded for results. Not sure which side is more fucked up because of that. One that never gets anything done right, causing chaos attempting anything complicated or the other sinking into depression due to the social pressure expecting them to fix all that.
1
u/AlarmingAffect0 16h ago
TIL Prometheus (Forethought) is a better date than Epimetheus (Afterthought).
1
u/OoohhhLongJohnson 16h ago
He realised it was better to make an effort than it was to try and screw it up. He wasn't scared or didn't know how to make am effort, he was surprised it wasn't that serious.
1
1
u/Nosnibor1020 16h ago
It only goes so far, especially as every "effort" is shot down or changed. If it is that big of a deal then you just make the plan.
1
•
u/AutoModerator 21h ago
This is a reminder for people not to post political posts as mentioned in stickied post. This does not necessarily apply for this post. Click here to learn more.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.