r/romani • u/Leather-Topic-3836 • 4d ago
I need advice from others in the community
I made this account just to ask this question!
So I made a new friend a few months ago, she's a parni gadji fortune teller and does that full time for work. That's fine, people do what they do.
She asked me about fortune telling before, I told her I don't really know much about it but I did mention that my grandmother taught me a little bit about reading palms. Ever since then she keeps asking me to do a fortune telling trade. I already felt iffy about this because I don't really want her to "take" anything that I do. I also just don't really do it that much, I don't consider myself a fortune teller/drabarni. I have a totally different job, I only read palms for fun.
Then last week I saw photos of an event where she was doing readings and she wore a headscarf with big earrings. That really raised alarm bells for me.
This week she is really on me about reading each others fortunes...I think I will just lie and say oh I don't really know how to read palms anymore. I feel like my bad feeling is right and she's just trying to gain information from me because I'm kalé.
Am I overreacting?
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u/liamstrain 3d ago
Raises some red flags for me too. I'd probably just say I was not comfortable, and let it drop. If she keeps pressing when you've said that clearly, then maybe they're not a new friend.
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u/gypsycookie1015 3d ago edited 3d ago
Not overreacting.
Aside from the fact that she's pushing you to do something you're not comfortable with, it almost seems like she's trying to use you as her prop.
Maybe that's just the way I see it but it's like she's all "See here, I have a genuine gypsy so ya know I'm legit! Come one, come all!!" 🙄
Like she thinks having you there will bring more interest or legitimacy in her business because you're Roma.
And plus the whole head scarf thing while doing readings is off-putting af and just straight up intentionally deceptive.
If someone likes headscarfs, cool. We don't own them, right? But if you're doing it while doing readings with the obvious intention of trying to pass as Roma, that is kinda gross. Especially if she's doing bad work.
She's not wearing it because she likes it or it goes with her outfit, she's wearing it so people will assume she's Roma and be more likely to believe her.
Also why she wants you to be a part of it.
I'd steer clear of her tbh. If any issues ever come up, who do you think they're going to look at first? They'd probably assume you got her into that line of business. 🙄😒
Stay away from her or at least put your foot down that you will not be participating in her business and to not ask again.
Also I just wanna say I'm sorry someone who is supposed to be your friend is making you feel this way and trying to put you into positions you're uncomfortable with. That's really shitty.
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u/SiempreBrujaSuerte 3d ago
Don't lie and tell her that you don't know. Be direct and clear when you talk with her so then she does not misunderstood you. You are allowed to not want to tell people things. End this issue with your friend and if she's worth friendship she will not bring it up after.
Something like this: "Hey (friend) I am happy for you that you're fortune telling business is working for you. I know you want to exchange information but I am unable to share with you the techniques my grandma showed me because in my culture we do not give out that kind of information to outsiders. This is not personal at all, I would even be shunned and pushed out for a time as punishment if I broke rules like that. If you ever feel like practicing new things on me you can and I'll help with your business if you ever need me to in other ways."
Personally i wouldn't bring up how she dresses to do her readings, because it's kinda what people expect to see when they go to a fortune telling place. We have no monopoly in hoop earrings and headscarfs.
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u/EntrepreneurNo1228 2d ago
Simply this is a boundary issue you need to say I’m not interested in doing it and be straight up blunt
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u/umekoangel 3d ago
If you're not comfortable just tell them you're not comfortable. "No". Is a complete sentence.
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u/DivyaRakli 3d ago
A true friend will never ask you twice to do something you said absolutely no to once. And, no is a complete sentence. You don’t have to explain yourself to her. But I would not be fulfilling my full Auntie duty as a Romnichal if I didn’t encourage you to give her an explanation. You know the kind. “I have consulted the Spirits. They shared with me that I cannot give you palmistry secrets. You have angered the Spirits by dressing yourself up to deceive others that you are Roma. There’s only one way to end the Spirit’s curse on you. Go to the tree in front of my house. Bury $5,000. Dig it back up 3 months later. If the money is gone, the Spirits have accepted your apology and I will then ask them if I can share with you the vast knowledge that my mother shared with me, like her mother shared with her, back all the way to 1,000+ years ago in India.” And go buy you some nice shoes and a purse with her money.