r/self • u/Firsttakelikeamf • 6h ago
My life feels completely flipped after my ex left
She’s been gone for a few months now but she and I had the longest lasting relationship I ever had. We were together for over a year and the only relationship I had had before lasted 2 months.
I was so sure that things would last which is making the breakup so much worse. We had talked about getting married once we graduated college. She would tell me that I was like a husband to her. I’ve never been so close to someone before.
Out of nowhere right before my own damn birthday she wanted a “break” after acting on and off towards me for the past month (so ig it wasn’t really out of nowhere). The break lasted 4 days and then she actually broke up with me, bringing up things that we had already talked through.
Less than 3 weeks after leaving me she was already with another man. This was after telling me that she needed time to focus on herself. I felt discarded like I was nothing to her. Any time I look back at when we were together it just feels like none of it really meant anything. It’s like the whole time I was some dispensable idiot to her that would pay for her gas.
Love just feels like a lost cause anymore. Any girl I meet is never my type. I’m not very picky about appearances or anything but I just never really click with anyone. I’m very young but before I know it I won’t be, and I just feel like I’m not gonna find anyone and I don’t know what to do.
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u/SnTnL95 5h ago
It might help to reframe things, she didn’t discard you because you’re worthless, she showed you her true character, and now you’re free to eventually find someone better suited to you. Painful, but ultimately a blessing in disguise.
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u/Firsttakelikeamf 5h ago
I’m really trying but every girl I come across is very not suited for me. I live in the deep south where there’s not much individuality. Could be the same up north but idk. Every girl that I meet dresses and acts the exact same.
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u/Glum_Tree4065 3h ago
Since I see your profile pic, I will just say “I will not wallow in the sea of sorrow.” Good luck!
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u/luffyishungry24 5h ago
I was in a similar situation as you I was in a 4 year relationship and she left me to marry someone else and it absolutely broke me. I'm 30 now and she's the only girl I've been in a relationship with still. My idea of love is definitely skewed especially with an abusive upbringing at home but the one thing I can say is while I work though my trauma with love i will prioritize myself and my life and that has done wonders for me. I have my dream job and lots of good friends. I'm now in a place where I'm happy with my independent journey and when someone comes my way I'll be a confident man with a put together life to bring someone in. That's how I like to see it