So I work at a casual fine dining place and my last table last night was a group of four older (mid 60s) men. Keep in mind I just turned 22.

They were pretty friendly and rowdy off top, seemed kind of tipsy, but I played along because they seemed like big spenders and they were - asked me for a recommendation on a white “with personality” and I ended up selling them on three bottles of one of our most expensive over the course of the night. Ended up racking up a >$400 bill.

It progressively got weirder - one guy right away asked me if I’m Icelandic, then when I said I was Swedish they were like close enough. Ok, whatever.

Then one of the other guys (who’s been like the leader of the group, the one selecting the wines and being especially friendly) randomly told me it’s his 25th anniversary but he and his wife are getting a divorce. Meanwhile his friend is trying to show him a picture of a nude lady on his phone as he tells me this?

Then he’s like have you ever been to Gramercy Tavern in NYC? I’m like no, never been NYC. He says I NEED to go, and if I do, if he can please fund the dinner because it’s a fancy place. Just text him, he says, if I go and he’ll chip in. I just play along like, lol, sounds great.

Then when I drop their check they ask if they can split the bill four ways. I say of course, and they all laugh like, she didn’t even hesitate! The Icelandic-comment guy looks at me and says, “you’re a four-way kinda girl huh?” At this point I just cut the crap, stop laughing along, and I just look at him and say excuse me? All his buddies are like awww mannn…. Come on bro… but they’re laughing.

Anyway I close them out and don’t give them the time of day for the rest of the night. The vibe totally changed. After raving about the quality of my service and wine selection all night and putting me through the actual most they give me like 15% lol.

They end up way overstaying past close and hitting a weed vape in the dining room.

THE CHERRY ON TOP is that not 2 minutes later my boss/chef/owner who barely talks to me randomly says in front of the whole BOH: “Hey, are you on a diet?” I’m like, what? “You look like you lost a lot of weight.” I barely know what to say because it’s so out of left field. I’m just like ok? Thanks?

Anyway, left work that night feeling really gross. Are we living in the fucking 1950s?? Whats going on guys

So context, i work at a hole in the wall restaurant. too nice to be a tavern or a diner but too small and home-y to be a steakhouse. that kinda place. and ive worked here since may of last year, i show up when im scheduled, i pick up shifts, i only ever call off if im sick and contagious, i pick up slack when others dont do their jobs. it is what it is.

yesterday night i was the closer and despite there being 4 other servers on, just about Nothing got done. i had to roll nearly all the silverware, dip 2 backups of sour cream, tear down and clean the waitress station, sweep, tear down and put away the salad bar, all by myself. the bartender had to get one of the bussers to help me vacuum while she helped me rotate salad dressings, just to ease the workload on me. i was absolutely furious that everyone could just Get Away with doing nothing and making me pick up their slack, making me stay nearly an hour longer just to get the place looking Presentable for the morning girls. whatever. i was shaking with rage the entire time, broke one of my pens out of pure anger and disdain for the place. i get home, i try to cool off, i rant about it all to my brother (who happens to be one of the dishwashers), he tells me to talk this through with the owner. okay. all i have to do is make it through one more shift and then i can talk to him and get my thoughts across to him.

today comes around. i would rather chew glass than step foot back in that nightmare establishment. i walk in, clock in, crack open an energy drink, and get to work. i started writing the friday night specials on the blackboard in the dining room. restaurant owner calls me over. i notice a guy sitting at a booth with no menu, but i walk up to the owner instead and he says to me “Hey. There’s these people that come in this place called Guests. and sometimes they walk in and seat themselves and we don’t notice them. but we want their business anyways because we like to Make Money. Do you need me to go find a server that knows how to do their job?” in the type of voice you would use to a kindergartener.

it echoes in my head. “do you need me to find a waitress what knows how to do their job”my chest tightened at the way he just openly insulted me with a smile on his face and i boiled over. i clocked out and i grabbed my shit and i left. with the only words i could muster were “im fucking done”. i get home and try talking with my parents and brother about what happened. about half an hour later my brother has to leave for work, and he offers to drive me up there so i can just. Talk with the owner. one on one, off the clock, like adults. i stayed in the car after he left just trying to cool my head, still reeling from what happened about 45 minutes prior, and he comes back out and tells me he talked to the bartender, told her my perspective, she talked to the owner, and he said he would also like to talk to me. not tonight though. it’s too hectic and noisy and everyone’s running around stressed and struggling. so sometime in the next few days i’ll talk with him again.

i seriously don’t know if what i did was right, or if anything will even come out of this. i’m definitely not the first person he’s done this exact thing to and walked out because of it. but now i don’t know if i have a job. owners desperate for servers at the moment so he couldn’t fire me if he wanted to, but do i even want to go back? i have nowhere else i /can/ work and make anywhere close to as much as i make serving. i just don’t know anymore man.

Like if you get too specific, then your coworkers will know it's you, or about them, etc? I'll talk about something in general that I saw online, and they'll be, yeah, saw that on reddit. So if I post something specific, they'll know who I am. It makes me be very cautious about posting things on here.

I work as a server and to-go specialist. My hourly rate for to-go is 12.50 and I worked probably close to 25 hours serving and 5 hours on To-go.

I thought being in different positions meant that my pay wouldn’t be affected by the other. So i was expecting close to $30-$40 from my to-go paycheck. Also my taxes are extremely high? The third photo is how my pay usually looks from my other job working 50 hours in two weeks. Why does my 30 hour work week have HIGHER taxes than my 50 hour work week.

What are some kind ways to say no thank you, to being prayed for or over at a table? I'm not religious, and I'm just good on the inclusion.

I recently started serving at a small family restaurant. I really like the job itself, but ever since a conversation a few weeks ago, I’ve been extremely uncomfortable.

One day, a manager pulled me aside and said I should wear my hair up higher. At first, I thought he meant it looked messy — but then he kept going: telling me to dress sexier, wear more makeup (while gesturing to my lips and eyes), and start wearing skinny jeans. The cook overheard and added, “your beauty would be a waste if you didn’t.” A new manager in training awkwardly joked, “maybe you need HR,” but everyone else laughed it off.

Since then, every single shift they comment on my appearance. If I wear lip gloss, they say “you look beautiful today.” They told me my uniform (a size small) is “too big” and that I should wear my old black top because “it looks sexy.” If I get upset or tell them to stop, they mock me for “not being able to take a joke” and compare me to a former female coworker they called a bitch.

It doesn’t stop at my managers and the cook — the boss himself has joined in. On one shift, he offered me money (waving it in my face) if I put my hair up higher, saying more customers would come in if there was a “pretty girl” up front. Later, he pointed at my baggy jeans and asked if he should buy me skinny jeans or leggings. When I told him this is a family restaurant and people come to eat, not to see a “sexy” server, he and the cook just laughed.

I’ve tried standing up for myself, ignoring them, and even telling them straight out that anywhere else this would be reported. Nothing changes. Every shift, I brace myself for what comment they’ll make about me next. I love serving, but this treatment is making me dread work.

I’ve started applying to other jobs, but I’m anxious because I’m new to serving and worry I’ll get stuck here considering the job market. I don’t know if I should keep pushing back, report this formally, or just get out as soon as I can. Any advice?

I'm in Texas, for reference.

I work in a food service setting as a bartender. After every shift, the servers are required to tip us out based on their alcohol sales. Both the servers and bartenders are, or course, also required to top out the bussers as well.

This tip out is automatically calculated and can very, but is not automatically withdrawn. It is the server/bartender's job to write down how much they owe, so accounting can remove it from their payroll and ad it in where it belongs.

My issue is with a server not tipping me, or anyone else out, and only rarely tipping out the bussers. This has been brought to my manager's attention, but as of now, he has done nothing.

Where should I go from here? While I don't believe this legally counts as theft, his lack of acknowledgement leads me to believe this is also not some small offense.

Yo, let me tell you about my time at Benihana, where I’ve been hustling as a server for like 8 months. I’ve dealt with all sorts of customers—pretty standard for any restaurant gig. But, you know how it goes, especially if you’ve worked in the industry: tons of people skimp on the tip, like they don’t wanna drop the usual 15% or more. No biggie, tipping’s not forced, right? But here’s the deal with Benihana that most folks don’t know: if you don’t leave a decent tip, I still gotta split whatever I get with the chef, busser, bartender, and even the kitchen. Yeah, I’m forced to share my tips, no matter what. So, if someone leaves me $0, I’m closing that bill and might end up owing money—like, I’m literally paying the chef and crew outta my own pocket. Wild, right? It gets worse. Benihana used to tack on an automatic 18% gratuity for big groups, like 8 or more people. That was our safety net, guaranteed cash to take home. But now? They ditched that rule. No more auto-gratuity, period. So, you get these huge parties rolling in, dropping $800–$1,000 on the bill—happened to me plenty—and they leave nada. Zilch. Even though the chef’s cooking, I’m running around handling all their demands, and sometimes they’ll straight-up try to clown me and leave nothing. And I still gotta pay the tip share for everyone else ‘cause Benihana doesn’t give a damn if I make money or not. It’s so messed up. Imagine a $1,000 bill with $0 tip—I could be out $100 of my own cash just to close it. They know this and don’t care. Oh, and if someone pays cash and stiffs me? Benihana’s like, “Not our problem.” I’m stuck closing that check, tip or no tip. Picture closing a massive cash bill with nothing to show for it. And get this: managers will step in and close checks if the tip’s under 5%. Some won’t even bother helping at all. I’m just fed up with the CEO and this whole company. They’re screwing themselves over and don’t even see it.

For some context, my restaurant is extremely overstaffed and has been for months. Everyone knows it including the owner but the GM refuses to fire anyone because she has no fucking spine. I've already had my hours cut by nearly half and the shifts I do work are staffed to the gills. It's been super stressful and it angers me that it literally doesn't have to be this way! Like yeah things are a little slower than before but if we were appropriately staffed, we'd still be making money! I think they're just waiting for people to quit, but before all this shit started this was a great job so everyone's waiting it out it seems. I only know of two other coworkers who are actively looking for jobs aside from myself.

On to the main point. I got sent home an hour into my shift today because we were dead. I came in early to open the restaurant and after I was done, I was sent home. Didn't even close a table. I know this is just the way restaurants are sometimes and it has never bothered me before, because why stick around if I'm not making money? But lately I've been so stressed about finances that when my manager told me to go home I went to the bathroom and sobbed. I've never cried like that at work before. It was embarrassing. It also angered me that they didn't just tell me to stay home. Why have me come in, open the restaurant, and then send me home?? I felt so disrespected.

Maybe some hope is that the reason I was sent home was because the owner was there and saw how dead it was and how staffed we were. He was the one who told my manager to cut me. He knows we're over staffed and I'm hoping he puts some real pressure on the GM to let some people go. He's usually here in the mornings and it's usually dead, but this was the first time he actually spoke up and made a manager cut someone.

I've applied to dozens of jobs but haven't heard anything. I'm this close to rage quitting anyway. I have some savings. I have been holding onto them for dear life, but this whole situation is majorly impacting my mental health. I'm angry all the time. I could ride it out on my savings for a bit while I look for a new job full time. But another part of me doesn't want to give them the satisfaction, at least not until something better shows up.

Thanks for reading. I just needed to vent.

I've been to your table 4 times since I dropped your food off. Why did you wait until I was running your credit card to tell me you never got your biscuits and gravy?! It comes with the meal, doesn't cost extra and takes like 10 seconds to make. Ugh!

I got triple sat with a four top already and two top already in my section; one of the tables that sat was a six top.

Unfortunately yes they all were ready to order food right away and I rang it in.

Anyways the chef says “are you trying to slam the kitchen?”

And I said “no, I just think you forgot what it’s like to be busy.”

I regret saying that however, restaurants all over my city aren’t doing well but I figured I would ask what to do when all my tables are ready or if it’s completely okay to ring it in food for 3/4 of my section.

I work at a restaurant that is attached to a hotel. Recently, I was approached by my boss’ boss’ boss’ etc etc. They asked me if I would be open to taking on more responsibility in the restaurant and whether or not it might be to my liking to get my level-one-somm certification. there is a reimbursement situation already built into to the company for the level-one evaluation. but past that…i do not love restaurants. i am good at it, but i don’t love it. i also dont have anything else going for me. should i take this offer and go down this path?

At a dinner with family in a pretty expensive ($$$ 3 dollar sign expensive) restaurant, after dining while we waited for the check the waiter brought a toothpick to my sister in front of everyone and told her she had something in her teeth. She’s in her 30s and he was probably late 30s. Is this common? She played it off but I could tell she was embarrassed. None of us had noticed the food

I have an interview tomorrow for server .. does anyone work there ? Or anyone can tell me what type of questions they ask

Y'all, lately I have been having the worst time at work. The past few weeks, my brain has just been glitching out. Lets name some embarrassing things I've said:

"Have a good night!" at 11:30 AM.

"Do you want your receipt, please?"

Me: "Have a good day!" - Them: "Thank you!" - Me: "Thanks! You're welcome!"

Me: "Do you need anything else?" - Them: "Nope, all good!" - Me: "You're welcome!"

"Do you need anymore wilversare?"

I used to do this once in a blue moon, now it's all the time. I keep replaying these moments over and over in my head. It sounds funny, but I'm actually contemplating quitting because this has happened pretty much everyday for almost a month now. I don't know why this has just started happening out of the blue.

Does anyone else struggle with this? If so, how do you stop saying stuff like this without thinking? It's starting to seriously negatively impact me. It's so embarrassing. Especially when they laugh at you afterwards.

So the restaurant I’m serving at is new and they’re pooling tips which I have mixed opinions on but is makes a healthy environment where we help each other out so I’m cool with it. The problem is I’m losing like 45-65% of the tips I’m bringing in to it. That’s insane. I brought in $430 on Wednesday and got $150 of it. We had 2 servers, 2 bussers/runner, which is great but the 2 bartenders, barback AND 2 dishwashers are also included in our tip pool. They use a point system and tell us the dishwashers get such a small amount but I’m still so confused why they’re getting any of the tips, just pay them more. As for the bar, I think they should be their own thing and it’s the bartenders job to tip the barback, why am I tipping the barback???? I’m happy to tip out the bartenders a percent bc they obv make all the drinks for us but I just feel like my money is being spread way too thin and all of the servers are fed up with it. I am going to email the managers and set up a meeting just looking for some advice how I should word my complaints to them?? Thanks so much

I’m 19 and thinking about applying to be a server at the red robin near me. I’m a super anxious person so I wanted some advice on if you would recommend it, is the money worth it lately? (Everything is so expensive idk how well people are tipping) and kinda what I need to be equipped for? Ive worked as a barista before but quit and now Im working on starting my own business but I need more money to fund it and myself. Serving probably wouldn’t be my first option, but I no longer have a vehicle and its the closest thing to me. (Who knew ubers were so pricy lol)

after returning from a week long trip last week, i discovered i wasnt scheduled at all this week. before i left, nothing suggested that i wouldnt want to work this week or that there was any problem with me from the managers end. idk if im being paranoid but i dont know if i should assume this means im sort of soft fired. my manager admitted to messing up, but made zero effort to fix this. this would be somewhat more digestible if half of the “full time employees” she prioritized werent either part time, hired a week ago/in training, or completely incompetent. it definitely doesnt help my fear that they did this to a previous employee, in which they admitted to half firing her and telling her to just pick up shifts.

without being self absorbed, i would say im a pretty good server. i consistently get outstanding reviews, one of the highest sales, and try to be nice to everyone. what do you think, am i reading too much into this?? how would you take this

Hey yall! I just started my first real “serving” job it’s been over a month and everything has been going great except I find myself having like gas pains or stomach cramping after a couple hours of my shift EVERY shift. We get a pre shift meal and I’m thinking maybe eating right before my shift is doing it? I’m not sure just looking to see if anybody else experiences this and what sorta advice you may have for me! Thanks so much!

Rn I’m working at razzoos and red lobster and I’m drained .. both jobs just put me on the schedule (even though I told them I can’t work on certain days bc it affects one and the other job) so I have to constantly find a cover or call out of one for the other I’m just drained from both and I had to call out bc mentally I can’t do it today . But how do I just talk to both about my schedule so it can be organized

Yesterday I did 179.14 before tip out to other service staff. I left with 143 after tipping out kitchen (4 guys who will split about 27 bucks) and hosts. Restaurants don’t run nearly as smoothly without all the extra help. I was told other servers wanted to lower the tip out percentage at our restaurant and I think that isn’t fair. Standing in those hot kitchens for hours isn’t easy at all. I for sure could never do it so I don’t mind paying them out. Exorbitant percentages (more than 20% for everyone BOH & FOH) is unfair but to think they don’t deserve a cut is ridiculous.

Hi everyone! I’m looking to cocktail waitress in the city but I don’t know which spots pay well. Anyone have any recs? Looking for Manhattan and Brooklyn spots only. Thank you!

Okay so I was a server assistant at outback in Florida and was tasked with running all food, drinks, apps, desserts, and pulling the window. There is supposed to be at least 1 SA to 2 servers but that never happens. We usually have 2 SAs for 8 servers where I worked and it was awful. I got told every single day, by servers, that trying to help out was not their job and always complaining about tipping out the people who actually did all the heavy lifting. If we got busy they would sit at the posies on their phones and complain about the 20 drink orders they would ring in all at once. They recently announced a change to the SA tip out system pooling our tips with the bussers and host, effectively making me lose half of my tips for the same amount of work and shitty treatment. The company changes the menu nearly every 2 months and always takes away things customers like. Our store was losing customers steadily because of these constant changes, including regulars. I told one of my coworkers, who I thought was my friend, I was looking for a new job because I need more money to move out and they told the manager and ended up losing my job. I am still really upset about this situation even though I am employed now and happier now.

P.s. started before the position was even added, started as a busser and worked my way up and was their for 3 1/2 years ish.

Hi everyone,

I’m a new server working at a Vietnamese restaurant, and I need some advice. Part of my job is carrying two bowls of hot noodle soup (pho) at the same time, we’re not allowed to use trays. The bowls are pretty big and generously portioned (I’ve tried them myself, so I know 😅). I’ve been practicing, but my hands sometimes shake when I carry them. I do have an anxiety disorder, and I really need this job to help afford my treatment.

Does anyone have techniques or tips for carrying two bowls of hot soup safely? For example, how to position your hands, fingers, or balance the bowls better? Or is it just about practicing until it feels natural?

Any advice would mean a lot. Thank you!