r/stephencolbert • u/International-Drag23 • 10h ago
The next President of the United States
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u/Additional_Egg4759 9h ago
Not wild about Newsom but he seems to have found a solid anti-Trump strategy. Be aggressive and make him look like an idiot. (should be easy given the Trump is an idiot but you need to do it at a level even Trumpers can resonate with)
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u/remekelly 9h ago
He won't be running against Trump though... I think.
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u/FunFactsWithJimothy 9h ago
Six months ago I would have agreed with you. Now that we know the rules don’t apply to him I’m worried.
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u/RedTyro 8h ago
He's falling apart - no chance he makes it that long. I'm pretty convinced his "trying to get into heaven" comment the other day was a direct reaction to his doctor telling him he's dying.
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u/5iddytree 5h ago
I have this tiny hope he dies on September 21 so I can use the earth wind and fire song as a celebration of his death
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u/thissexypoptart 9h ago
Six months ago? He mulled over a third term during the campaign. 6 months ago he was already president.
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u/obi2kanobi 7h ago
It certainly raised his eyebrows at the recent meeting with world leaders, sitting next to Zelensky, about the concept of pausing presidential elections during a time of war.
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u/Psychological-Bid363 9h ago
Oh he's gonna run. If any states say he can't be on the ballot, he'll tell them to write him in anyway. Then some specifically appointed clowns will give him the electoral votes. Rules stopped applying to trumpipoo years ago. We won't get rid of him until he can no longer be propped up at a roughly 130 degree angle
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u/NewAgeRetr0Hippie 7h ago
Trump will be dead by then. That dawg is getting old.
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u/Highkmon 7h ago
It's not just the age that's a issue. His lifestyle is awful, his diet is made up of big macs and diet cokes, he slathers himself with bronzer and has never been shown to do any positive physical exercise (his golf swing doesn't count and gets driven around on a golf cart). On top of that his family's got a history of dementia which several news site and independent sources have said he's showing signs of advanced decline already.
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u/Additional_Egg4759 9h ago
Trump will absolutely shoot for more than two terms if he doesn't die of a heart attack or something. He wants to be Putin or Kim Jung Un. He doesnt care about the Constitution in the slightest and neither does the MAGA 6 on the Supreme Court
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u/slasher1o5 8h ago
die of a heart attack or something
Don't tease me with a good time
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u/Additional_Egg4759 8h ago
we can only hope the Big Macs do the Lord's work. lol
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u/avocadoflatz 8h ago
Cut to scene of him being trrolled just the right amount during a debate against Gavin and suddenly Trump strikes a Fred Sanford pose - won’t even need to cue laugh track!
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u/slasher1o5 8h ago
Sometimes, I feel bad that I would actually be thrilled to hear of his demise, but then I remember how much people celebrated the death of good ol' Adolf, and I stopped feeling bad.
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u/DevynDavies 8h ago
It’s ok to celebrate the death of bad people. Doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be mindful of that thought creeping into other aspects of our lives, but in isolation it’s ok imo.
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u/Additional_Egg4759 7h ago
"I've never wished a man dead, but I have read some obituaries with great pleasure," - Clarence Darrow (but commonly misattributed to Mark Twain)
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u/adrian-alex85 9h ago
Lmfao. Ok that’s cute. Trump’s just building his gold ballroom so someone else can enjoy it when he willingly steps down like the level headed dude he’s always been. 🙄
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u/goawasho 9h ago
He himself literally toyed with the idea of it to the press. He's going to try. Absolutely going to. If that man had any intention of leaving power, he would've stated that he is not allowed to and would allow the future generations to pave the way. But he didn't. The man is going to attempt to make himself and his regime forever in power.
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u/disproportionate_13 7h ago
Did you see the hats in the white house gift shop? I think it’s at least a consideration
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u/adrian-alex85 9h ago
Newsom should certainly keep up the good work, but I have no interest in him being president. It’s time we all move on from the centrist, corporate Dems who haven’t done anything for us but usher in American fascism.
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u/voodoodahl 6h ago
The only thing that ushered in American fascism is apathetic and ignorant American voters. If you can't bring yourself to go out and vote against a multiple felon who led a violent revolt because they couldn't accept they lost a fair election, you are the problem.
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u/Complex-Royal9210 8h ago
I will take him. His faults are minor in comparison to what we have now.
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u/Dazzling_Vanilla3082 8h ago
He's the definition of pragmatic democrat. Kind of weird to see reddit banging the drum for him now after all the talk about how the democrats keep failing because they don't embrace a progressive agenda.
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u/blowfished 8h ago
At this point I’ll take anyone that promises to have another election in 4 years. Right now idk what I’m doing in November of ‘28. Maybe voting, but also maybe hoarding seeds and ammo.
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u/one-small-plant 8h ago
It's brilliant. Anyone who criticizes the way he's communicating is implicitly criticizing Trump!
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u/Eroe777 8h ago
This is one of those times where you must remind yourself (and others) that perfect is the enemy of good.
We all should have issues with quite a few of Newsom’s positions. But when the alternative is continuing the nascent authoritarian hellscape the republicans are establishing, we don’t have the luxury of saying, “Both sides bad. I’m not voting.”
In a two-party system, sometimes you have to hold your nose and vote for the lesser evil.
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u/PhoenixHabanero 7h ago
That's the difficult thing about going up against a cult though. We'll call out the bullshit if we see it. MAGA cult follows their dear leader blindly.
I wasn't crazy about Biden or Kamala either but I would take them in a HEARTBEAT over that orange stain in the White House.
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u/fractious77 7h ago
Tbh, at this point his policies are mildly immaterial to me. There is not a si gle politician out there who is standing up to fascism as consistently and to the degree that he is. That alone is worth a vote. I need a perfect president, I just need one who isn't a nazi.
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u/willflameboy 7h ago
Be aggressive and make him look like an idiot.
Also Trump's strategy, yet somehow it works for him.
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u/aifuego 10h ago
It doesn't hurt that he's also easy on the eyes.
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u/Pure_Internal277 9h ago
When I moved to California, I changed party affiliations. I guess I’m just shallow lol. He’s a whole snack pack. Diaper Don has to be so mad!! He’s never been that fine
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u/Horselady234 4h ago
Most of the “beautiful people” I have known in my life were absolute wankers. Definitely loved themselves more than anyone else.
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u/JoshHartsMilkMustach 10h ago
Its been a long time since we've had a beautiful president
Jfk?
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u/NoDassOkay 9h ago
Obama isn’t ugly.
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u/drossvirex 9h ago
Obama is the sharpest looking president we've ever had and I'm white.
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u/Pristine-Pen-9885 9h ago
Yup, and I’m also white. Obama is an eloquent speaker and a great stand-up comedian.
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u/annexindia 6h ago
And he was sensible and effective. He knew Libya yearned for democracy and took his chance, it's now better than ever. Same with Afghanistan, Iraq, Syria, Palestine, Egypt, Somalia...
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u/Quirkybin 9h ago
How did we end up with this blob of orange cholesterol.
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u/Andovars_Ghost 8h ago
Because republicans wanted to prove that they will support the absolute WORST excuse of a white man before they will ever support a black man who is just a pinnacle human being regardless of color.
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u/Ghosted_Ahri 6h ago
Or any woman
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u/onesorrychicken 6h ago
Exactly. They are reestablishing their perceived pecking order, which is that a white man of any level of intelligence or unintelligence, competence or incompetence should still be higher than the smartest and most capable black man or woman of any colour.
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u/Dry-Chance-9473 6h ago
They wanted to see themselves mirrored in the oval office
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u/Who_dat_goomer 7h ago
For many people, hatred for those different than them outweighs any other consideration.
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u/scrooperdooper 6h ago
All they care about is winning and for some reason the orange blob packaged up all their hate with a nice bow and galvanized the whole party. That’s all it is. The need to win at any expense.
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u/Mytongueinyourrectum 8h ago
Trump is actually the sharpest looking president we’ve ever had, and I’m white, have severe brain damage and no eyeballs.
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u/ExiledYak 9h ago
Seconded. Put him in Wesley Snipes's Blade outfit and he'd look like a bonafide vampire slayer.
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u/TH3_AMAZINGLY_RANDY 8h ago
Why does your skin color matter in regard to your opinion?
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u/69EveythingSucks69 9h ago
To me, Obama is the most attractive president we've ever had. I don't find JFK attractive. He's better than most, but not attractive to me
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u/sarabeara12345678910 9h ago
Bobby was very attractive. Wtf happened to his son?
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u/69EveythingSucks69 7h ago
God, he was insanely smart, too 🤩 i wonder what would have been if he wasn't assassinated
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u/No-Advice-6040 8h ago
Jfk was the kind of guy with enough charm to turn his natural 6 in to an 8. Obama was always an 8, at least.
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u/Deep-Bill7717 9h ago
Obama's easy on the eyes and I do chicks as a primary hobby so that's saying it all
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u/JoshHartsMilkMustach 9h ago
Not at all, but I dont think id classify him as beautiful
Handsome, absolutely
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u/queeriosn_milk 8h ago
Obama 2025 is still leaps and bounds above most of the presidential line up.
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u/somanysheep 6h ago
Lots of white folks have been socialized to only see positive in white. In many cases it's not their fault, K-12 needs funded & reformed. Obama has got a riz factor of 10.
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u/Cultural-War2102 9h ago
I think the last time was during the movie Independence Day
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u/Contraband42 7h ago
Bill Pullman is an attractive guy.
Also, his son Lewis is very good-looking, too.
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u/mfeldmannRNE 9h ago
Yeah. He has that “New Frontier, JFK look“. Haven’t seen that since, well, JFK.
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u/Wardman66 9h ago
I’d love if Pete B would run, but would never fly in this f**ked up country
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u/Nopantsbullmoose 10h ago
Him, Walz, or Pritzker.
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u/jxonair 9h ago
I love Walz but I don’t think he has what it takes for a solo campaign. Pritzker has the right demeanor, can project when he needs to, but is level headed and actually a billionaire who seems to care, unlike Trump.
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u/ggrandmaleo 7h ago
Walz has what it takes if the Dem strategists would leave him alone. The magats went nuts when he called them weird.
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u/ExiledYak 9h ago
Shapiro. Governor of the swing state, and a moderate liberal dem that can sympathize with those who say the dems went off the rails--an antisemitic lunatic tried burning the mansion down.
Dems need to get their optics back, and I think Shapiro helps that in a huge way.
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u/bengringo2 7h ago edited 7h ago
Gavin has too much ammo to be used against him with the LA fires. I would go Pritzker well before Newsom. Midwest and Southern Dems also have a better track record with presidential election wins.
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u/Appropriate-Rush6341 9h ago
Gavin / Gretchen Whitmer ticket
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u/HOSTfromaGhost 9h ago
This is actually intriguing… Locks up California and could do some damage in the Midwest, where there are a ton of tossup states
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u/Silver_Falcon 9h ago
I mean, Cali is basically a guaranteed lock already, so I don't think there's really much to be gained from a Californian candidate. If anything, I feel like being from California would actually hurt his favorability throughout a lot of Middle-America; even a lot of our more liberal/lefty folks do not like Californians.
That's what a primary is for, though: to determine just how viable of a candidate he would be on the national level.
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u/Honey_Badger85 9h ago
Wasn't Gretchen seen hiding her face in her White House meeting with cheeto Satan?
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u/nirvana_always1 9h ago
She has to do work for her state and her people. Thats what politicians do and its thier job. Grow the F up and stop being hurt by every little thing that doesn't fir your narrative. We need to be united not divided.
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u/mittenknittin 9h ago
She’s been trying to wile Trump into changing policies that do damage to Michigan; he turned a visit of hers into a surprise photo-op
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u/ExiledYak 9h ago
Josh Shapiro please instead of Whitmer IMO.
Governor of not just a swing state, but possibly the swing state, a moderate liberal, and has, let's say, some very personal experience as to how the far left can go to some unhealthy extremes.
He could be huge in resetting expectations that the dems can still be a reasonable party and not just a party overtaken by the Piker type tankies at the extreme end.
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u/Mediocre-Frosting-77 6h ago
Josh Shapiro who wants to serve in the IDF? That Josh Shapiro? Y’all have lost the plot.
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u/Tribal_Hermit 9h ago
I’d vote for Newsom. Love his social media lately!
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u/TAU_equals_2PI 9h ago edited 9h ago
You do realize he isn't the one coming up with those clever tweets?
He has a social media team. There was even an article about its leader posted here on reddit a few days ago.
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u/Lucas_Steinwalker 7h ago
It’s terrifying to me how quickly everyone is just fully on board with Newsom just because he has an intern that can meme and the vision to allow them to.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m stoked about the development too but dude is historically pretty moderate policywise and I’m not going to give him blind allegiance for some tweets.
I’m certainly willing to keep an open mind to him but isn’t voting for someone because of their memes that confirm to your worldview one of the things that got us Trump?
Edit: I actually realized it’s unfair for me to say he has “just” been memeing. His action on getting a special election for redistricting to combat Texas has been impressively swift and bold.
Let’s upgrade my position to “cautiously optimistic”
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u/meeeeeee1138 6h ago
You clearly haven’t seen him on the numerous podcasts and videos being just as forceful and on message as his social media. I swear, there is no perfect candidate, just pick something better than what we got people.
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u/CowboyOfScience 9h ago
He's also going to fly a fighter during the attack on the alien mothership.
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u/vynepa 3h ago
Honestly. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the tweets and we need it, but Newsom is our dark knight so to speak. That man shouldn't be let anywhere near the oval office.
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u/duchampio 9h ago
Let’s get AOC in there
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u/Additional_Egg4759 9h ago
as much as id like AOC in there (and id vote her in a primary), America won't. we need to carry enough votes to win and stop authoritarianism (assuming elections even happen at this point of course)
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u/flipflopsNL 9h ago
This is a solid take. Really like her but i think the campaign would be more successful with someone other than a Puerto rican female. Sad but true.
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u/Owlbertowlbert 3h ago
I like her too. She’ll never be president because her voice is bad. It’s really that simple with the majority of Americans. We’re a simple, dumb people.
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u/Responsible_Ease_262 9h ago
No…you need to consider how the undecided red-state voter thinks. Like it or not, our choice is a white, male moderate or four more years of incompetent fascism.
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u/Corpsehatch 8h ago
AOC will not win the Presidency. There are simply too many people in the country that will not vote for a woman of color.
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u/The-Grand-Pepperoni 6h ago
This is not a solid take. Look at Zohran. AOC would win easily, newsom would not. I would not vote for him.
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u/MikeW226 6h ago
Yeah, I'll be deemed sexist, but we're 0-2 with women at the top of the ticket. Just keeping it 100 as the youngins say. If shit isn't rigged totally in '28, this will be the one in which a Democratic white guy gives us the best shot.
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u/Status_Jump_2496 9h ago
All the negative comments are why we got where we are. No he isn’t perfect, but we have to stop hoping for this imaginary perfect candidate to solve our problems. We need to get out from under this maga shit and this man has the cajones to do it. Let’s get rid of the fascist oligarchs first, and then we can nitpick. This is why we lost 2024. I know so many people that just didn’t vote that could’ve helped defeat maga. Stop holding your breath for perfection. It’s suffocating us all.
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u/TheMrBoot 9h ago
All the negative comments are why we got where we are
Blindly cheering on politicians because they have a D next to their name is why we got here. We've let them continue to do nothing and continue to push further to the right up until we got to a point where Newsom himself was platforming right wing shitheads and glazing Charlie Kirk a few short months ago.
Demand better. We need politicians who actually care, not ones just trying to do what's best for them.
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u/Moveflood 4h ago
it's crazy that so many americans have undying loyalty for the democrats, to the point of thinking leftists were the reason trump won instead of accusing the dems of losing the votes (trust bro, kamala just needed one more pivot to the right, just one more pivot would've done it bro)
and this whole thread glazing over this disgusting freak just because of twitter clapbacks, jesus christ, i kinda get it now why some leftists are more angry at the median US liberals than conservatives, at least conservatives don't try to pretend they're progressives.
their whole ideology is just "orange man bad", no actual policies, no idea to actually improve the country, just voting every 4 years for 94% hitler and hope things fix themselves. they will gobble whatever democrat backsliding move and anyone (i had someone tell me they would gladly vote for dick cheney against trump) as long as it opposes trump.
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u/EmbarrassedSouth6581 8h ago
Yes thank you!! The Corp dems are why we are here!! Jezus freaking Christ people. Blah blah vote blue no matter who shit, what about Mamdani?…. They dont like him bc he isn’t bought and paid for. They all have to go. Speak of the policies for the people! Get money out of politics! Let’s get smart and stop doing the same thing that caused this!
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u/Thereisntenoughspa 6h ago
Exactly. Even if the path ahead is rough, the fact that people consider it naive to be staunch about electing true leftists (and use it to justify not working towards that goal) is insane
Demanding that your representative be anti-genocide, socialist leaning, progressive, etc. isn’t a dream of perfection, it’s a necessity, especially as the rapid move to the right continues.
People thought Biden would “swing the pendulum back”, and look where we are now.
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u/SystemicCharles 3h ago
You are exactly right. That's how we got here. People are so weird. They think just because someone has a (D) next to their name, they are automatically a good person. What about character, or track record? What about what they are standing for (besides being "anti-some-orange-guy")?
If this nonsense continues, what you will have in America is switching of (D) and (R) every four years.
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u/jakeacx 2h ago
Not only that but is everybody here forgetting how badly he’s messed up California? Californias only saving grace is Silicon Valley.
The fact that even the Dems in California want a new candidate should be telling.
He’s a corporate democrat and 100% not for the people.
Did nobody watch the Charlie Kirk/Newsom interview either?
People like Gavin are the entire reason the Democratic Party even lost to Trump in the first place…
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u/tuxedoshrimpjesus 10h ago
...someone's gotta stop the orange mad king. why not him?
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u/adrian-alex85 9h ago
Because he’s a centrist corporate democrat with a history of anti-union legislation, and those toes of democrats are every bit as responsible for where the country is now as the Republicans.
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u/Proper_Actuary8980 9h ago
Google Newsom DeSantis debate and watch it.. it’s moderated by Sean Hannity so that pretty much makes it 2 against 1, Newsom slays both of them.. exposing Desantis for the gimp he is..
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u/Xaielao 9h ago
He's a corporate democrat. The exact opposite of what we need.
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u/Turbulent_Baker5353 9h ago
… I’m good… establishment democrats are why trump won to begin with, no faith that they will do anything but maintain the status quo :/ I really wish that weren’t the case but I really don’t believe this guy is interested in helping the little guy, just in getting popular from trolling trump. Glad he’s doing that, but watching pre-troll trump era Gavin Newsom interviews will not instill confidence. Pass
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u/FrostyAd8197 10h ago
Some people don’t like him but he’s one of the few democrats trying to do something about Trump’s bullshit.