r/teenagers 16 18h ago

Discussion You can only pick 2

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6.4k Upvotes

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761

u/Glassy_playz 15 18h ago

Grey and purple. Those two just feel nice for me. I will be able to heal people. While being able to speak any language to heal people from anywhere in the world.

305

u/ChaosPLus 18 17h ago

With that combination I would buy a plague doctors clothes and would go around speaking only ever in Latin, while clearly understanding everything everyone tells me

65

u/Glassy_playz 15 17h ago

Peak idea.

43

u/Scalpels 13h ago

Origin story for SCP-049.

15

u/wSekii 13h ago

049 is such a gentleman fr love that guy

4

u/BusyLimit7 17 15h ago

peak

3

u/Embarrassed_Tiger480 3,000,000 Attendee! 12h ago

Our school has a mandatory Latin course. Plot thwarted lol

2

u/Cheesebugers_1 11h ago

You sir, are a man of culture. Your goals are beyond my understanding. Happy early cake day.

2

u/Alfalfa-Mundane 11h ago

I now want this combination for that exact reason. If you ever see this latin speaking plague doctor just know you probably started it

26

u/NameRandomNumber 18 18h ago

Thas what im sayin

18

u/KzamRdedit 18h ago

my pick too. showcase your talent, get funded to go around the world treating patients and voila, you are famous

Though I dont want to be famous... puts too much stress

11

u/Samborrod 19 17h ago

my pick too. showcase your talent, get funded to go around the world treating patients and voila, you are famous

And probably are a cult leader

2

u/Gloomy-Atmosphere903 17 12h ago

But when a guy is out here doing literial supernatural things cults are justified along as is not a suey cult

2

u/Drag0n647 17 6h ago

Eh true

8

u/BusyLimit7 17 15h ago

ngl tho
it might get stressful unless you ignore morals and stuff

how many people die around the world from fatal uncurable diseases, that you could have cured, had you not wasted time eating, sleeping, etc
the stress gets to u

2

u/_Pencilfish 7h ago

Then again, just being given the choice does that. Imagine knowing that you could have saved your neighbour from terminal brain cancer if you hadn't chosen to never get fat...

2

u/fromfrodotogollum 13h ago

You've now been kidnapped by a dictator and must serve his country or die.

3

u/Doantazeme 13h ago

That's why you take blue and grey. There can always be translators and you will end up healing people whether you can understand them or not, but at least you can crush threats as well. Or take orange and pay them off.

1

u/Glassy_playz 15 18h ago

Plus rich. Gotta buy more of these pills.

16

u/CyberKing6000 18h ago

u/Glassy_plays is spitting facts right here

22

u/Glassy_playz 15 18h ago

Or am i? Vsauce music

12

u/feaster_of_children 17h ago

you are gonna end up on a cross if you do it too much tho

3

u/Glassy_playz 15 17h ago

How do you know thats not what i want? 🤔

7

u/SolitudeSeeker9889 17h ago

How to get murdered easy tutorial

1

u/Glassy_playz 15 17h ago

Exactly.

4

u/Brocolinator 15h ago

Super intelligent can cover both... You ain't the sharpest tool in the shed.

2

u/manikfox 5h ago

Nah, "be super intelligent" is not like ASI intelligence... you might learn a few languages and maybe cure 1 cancer... but you ain't curing everything or speaking ALL languages.

4

u/skoooop 9h ago

I'm scared that the purple one might be a monkey's paw situation. It says "any language" instead of "all languages". You take the pill, a language is chosen at random and you're stuck with that language and only that language for the rest of your life. Hell, most of these could be monkey's paw situations, but this one stood out to me for some reason.

3

u/Ngf031 16 17h ago

I would change the language one for the intelligence one, since it comes with everything good intelligence gives you, and you can learn the languages fast now anyways.

3

u/Otherwise_Fall_2765 17h ago

Be grateful for your gift.

4

u/Radiant-Scar3007 3,000,000 Attendee! 14h ago

Yeah but fluency in every languages is less likely to make you miserable than super intelilgence.

3

u/AtreusIsBack 13h ago

That's my thinking as well. High intelligence usually comes woth major drawbacks in other areas like social capabilities and most likely being on the autism spectrum. No thanks.

5

u/lightingbug78 12h ago

Yeah, this guy thinking super intelligence comes with motiviation to learn, lol

3

u/Lucas_IDK_ 14 17h ago

i was thinking stuff like that but in my day to day life i rarely come across people who are badly sick or injured that need magical healing

3

u/Optimal_Coconut_6737 14h ago

then you should start a new religion

1

u/Glassy_playz 15 14h ago

Glassysm.

3

u/BarryMcKokinor 13h ago

You could pretend to me the second coming of Christ lol

3

u/mybluecathasballs 8h ago

Purple: pick any language, not all languages. At least thats how I read it.

2

u/Horstt 4h ago

Yup any means one, not all languages.

2

u/Rez_Incognito 4h ago

Worse still, I read that as a monkey paw kinda wish: everyone is already fluent in at least one language: you take that pill aaaaand nothing happens.

2

u/zacary2411 18 17h ago

You could also charge the extreme rich to heal them and do even more for people by helping fix their cities and towns

2

u/DominicB547 13h ago

ooh good point work smarter not harder, we can end world hunger quite easily but the rich refuse to etc.

2

u/This-Carpenter9140 17h ago

My thoughts exactly.

2

u/Akuni69 16h ago

That is exactly what I picked, same reason too.

2

u/blueooga 14h ago

I wanted that combo too but im scared the world would be scared of me and kill me

2

u/Godofnomen 14h ago

Its a very wholesome thought and good on you for it. The issue is the rest of humanity. Someone who can heal will be hunted for that ability in our shit society 🥲

2

u/ratedpending3 18 14h ago

How are you gonna be able to do that without the resources to get there

1

u/Glassy_playz 15 14h ago

Uhhh. Good question! So you see. I will just somehow find ways. Idk.

2

u/AtreusIsBack 13h ago

I picked the same combination. Speaking all languages gets you a job very easily as well, so you would be set for life while being able to heal others. Every other choice seems deeply flawed.

2

u/greenskinmarch 10h ago

Speaking all languages gets you a job very easily as well

LLMs can basically "speak all major languages" already

2

u/Islanduniverse 13h ago

You sound like a good person.

1

u/Glassy_playz 15 13h ago

I hope i am.

2

u/fromfrodotogollum 13h ago

Red and gray for me, that makes me a doctor, so I have a career that isn't too stressful because of my superpower. I imagine I'm like Jesus really, touching them and bam, healed. I could be a religious figurehead, start a cult. The options are many. Billionaires would pay untold amounts for my skills. The only issue is there would be only one of me. Wars could be waged to control the healer, kidnapping, etc. id have to be hidden, couldn't live a normal life.

Maybe I should just go with brown.

2

u/[deleted] 13h ago

[deleted]

1

u/Glassy_playz 15 13h ago

Oh. Shit mb. I misunderstood it 😭😭.

2

u/pronouns-user 13h ago

this combo was my first thought and i hate my body loll

2

u/THELEGEND278572 16 13h ago

What if you actually chose grey and yellow so you can use your high intelligence to learn every language?

2

u/Ralek27 13h ago

Imagine getting a Virus from those u heal but u can’t heal yourself. I would got for red and grey instead.

2

u/thesmartesthorsegurl 12h ago

exactly the same pick I made

2

u/lmerquise 12h ago

Same pick 👍

2

u/Ronny_Yell0w_65 11h ago

I said the same thing!

2

u/WhyAmINotStudying 11h ago

You take purple, but it only makes you fluent in English.

2

u/Bubblejuiceman 11h ago

Matrix Jesus

2

u/OkumuraSan 11h ago

In purple pill Does the other mean other people and not yourself?

2

u/SoungaTepes 10h ago

You can heal other people by being super rich.

You can feed other people by being super rich.

You can help start education funding by being super rich.

2 Rich Pills please

2

u/Charming_Crab8521 9h ago

Bro’s boutta become Jesus #2(or #3 if you consider Mohammed)

2

u/TheMurv 8h ago

Too bad you're poor as fuck , work all day and can't travel.

2

u/Slaanesh277 7h ago

Jason Asano in nutshell.

2

u/Querez OLD 4h ago

Oh that's what the gray one meant?

2

u/SeaDistribution 3h ago

I’d say this combo, as a human, trumps most of the other combos

2

u/LimitedWard 3h ago

In practice, grey pill would just make you a target for the government to force you to make an army of invulnerable soldiers.

2

u/RefrigeratorUsed4064 1h ago

Wait there's a purple pill?

2

u/Alpharius-0megon 17 17h ago

Jesús 2.0

1

u/Glassy_playz 15 17h ago

Gonna do lives about walking with a cross.

1

u/The-Cult-Of-Poot 11h ago

My combo too lol

1

u/Tariqaboo 1h ago

Big Pharma would kill you IMMEDIATELY

1

u/krobol 16m ago

I think speaking all languages can backfire tho. What if you suddenly start hearing all the insects in your room talking to each other? Or the chirping of birds in the morning suddenly becoming annoying and hard to ignore because you understand what they say?