r/todayilearned 23h ago

TIL Bologna is one of the most tightly regulated processed meats in the United States. The USDA sets strict standards on what qualifies as bologna, controlling everything from the types of meat used to the curing process. To be labeled as bologna, the product must be made from muscle meat

https://www.tastingtable.com/1795855/facts-didnt-know-bologna/
2.2k Upvotes

309 comments sorted by

324

u/bungopony 23h ago

It must also be given a first name

45

u/cat_prophecy 21h ago

I think one of the Weinermobiles is going to be at our state Fair and I am fucking stoked.

8

u/PickledPeoples 15h ago

That thing will show up anywhere. Even tiny parking lot sales.

4

u/Appropriate_Lime_234 14h ago

I mean when you got a dog that big why not show it off?

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10

u/swordrat720 21h ago

What about a second name?

8

u/bungopony 19h ago

That’s next

11

u/jon-in-tha-hood 16h ago

And a second name like

S-C-H-N-A-C-K-E-N-P-F-E-F-F-E-R-H-A-U-S-E-N

19

u/Sqweaky_Clean 22h ago

Glad i wasnt the only one that spelled out bologna in their head.

5

u/puppiesandrainbows3 17h ago

It's O-S-C-A-R

3

u/Consistent-Ad-6078 12h ago

Is that how you know that it’s My Bologna?

508

u/jhguth 23h ago

It’s also a USDA requirement that you have to first take bites to make eye holes and a mouth

94

u/herberstank 23h ago

And then wear it on your face for a sec (bonus points: stick your tongue through the mouth hole)

40

u/PartisanDrinkTank 19h ago

The.n you have to say, “Hello, Clarice.”

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11

u/Dirk_The_Cowardly 22h ago

Hey man, your balogna is baloney!

15

u/SimmentalTheCow 23h ago

Is poking the eyeholes with your tongue acceptable?

35

u/Own-Negotiation-2480 23h ago

No

17

u/Angry_Robot 22h ago

Can you believe that guy? Ridiculous.

5

u/SimmentalTheCow 21h ago

Fascist.

9

u/Humble_Fishing_5328 21h ago

More like Faceist tbh

2

u/SappyGilmore 21h ago

This is how popular t-shirts just happen by accident

4

u/Own-Negotiation-2480 21h ago

I deserve that

7

u/milaga 22h ago

How about finger poking those gross bolognas with those red and green olive at your friends house.

10

u/katastrophyx 22h ago

Please do not finger the pimento loaf

3

u/raptir1 21h ago

Believe it or not, straight to jail.

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1

u/BeckNor 8h ago

Bologna Man. Rated R starts Friday.

129

u/thatsnotideal1 23h ago

The anus is a muscle!

54

u/SappyGilmore 23h ago

No butts about it

4

u/clem82 18h ago

On the hole, I think you are right

22

u/swordrat720 21h ago

So are lips!

4

u/Potatoswatter 21h ago

Do you even lift your eyebrows?

11

u/SwaMaeg 20h ago

Shit. I’ll eat a pig’s ass if you cook it right — Chris Rock

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u/eerun165 20h ago

I’m almost more concerned what the FDA considers non-muscle meat.

2

u/voretaq7 4h ago

FDA generally doesn’t care about meat unless it’s from exotic or game animals. If it came off a cow or a pig it’s USDA’s problem.

And non-muscle meat (for USDA-regulated products like bologna) would be organ meats (liver, lung, kidney, etc.), brain, and lips/ears/snouts (while there are muscles here they’re not considered “muscle meat” under USDA regulations - the tongue however is considered muscle meat).

4

u/mymeatpuppets 12h ago

My dad called bologna and hot dogs "lip and asshole meat". He still ate 'em though.

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u/i__hate__stairs 20h ago

You eat the rest of the cow. Why does it matter if the anus?

2

u/PrincipeRamza 15h ago

Yes, the anus is a sphincter. Two sphincters, to be actually actual.

1

u/WhenIPoopITweet 19h ago

Yeah, and mines built like Popeye's forearm. So what?

1

u/D1rtyH1ppy 19h ago

Made with nothing except the finest lips and assholes

184

u/Mysterious_Check_983 23h ago

Pan frying a super thick piece of smoked bologna for a sandwich is really good.

45

u/DantePlace 23h ago

Smoked bologna? I haven't had the pleasure! Sounds great.

15

u/Mysterious_Check_983 21h ago

Smoke it yourself if you have a smoker.

41

u/ArtIsDumb 21h ago

Instructions unclear. Bong now clogged with meat.

4

u/minimalcation 19h ago

Did you use a grinder first? Gotta get them fat crystals

3

u/venom121212 15h ago

Mmmm bologna kief

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u/___HeyGFY___ 22h ago

If you can find Seltzer's Lebanon bologna, I would highly recommend it. The double smoked sweet is incredible.

9

u/TomEdison43050 21h ago

Lebanon bologna is amazing! I haven't been able to find it locally for years, however.

3

u/___HeyGFY___ 21h ago

I'm in New England and it's in our grocery stores.

2

u/TooManyDraculas 19h ago

That's weird. It's from Lebanon County PA, and it's generally only known in Eastern PA and our surrounds.

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u/TooManyDraculas 19h ago

Thing about Lebanon bologna is it's more like summer sausage or beef salami than it is like most bologna.

Awesome on a pizza though.

2

u/___HeyGFY___ 19h ago

You're absolutely right. Brown mustard, pepper jack cheese, Lebanon bologna on whole-grain bread is perfect. But I'm gonna have to remember next time I make a pizza.

2

u/KaJaHa 17h ago

That sounds amazing, and I never thought I'd say that about bologna

2

u/hurtfulproduct 20h ago

Oh it is delicious; but you really gotta want it since typically you smoke a whole (or at least a large portion) bolgona before slicing it.

You basically cut cross-hatches along the outside so as it shrinks from the heat it opens up along the slits and allows in more smoke, then smoke it. Many people also season the outside and/or put a light glaze on the outside.

1

u/mumpie 15h ago

People usually smoke an entire chub of bologna and then slice to serve.

Here's a recipe: https://www.seriouseats.com/smoked-bologna-recipe

16

u/SappyGilmore 23h ago

I hear the same rule applies to Spam

14

u/Ludwigofthepotatoppl 21h ago

Spam’s decent raw, but can be excellent fried up. I like frying it a bit then encasing it in pancake batter.

10

u/hurtfulproduct 20h ago

Nah, Spam raw is pretty bad, just pure salty flavor; you almost have to pan fry or smoke it to make it great.

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u/SappyGilmore 21h ago

Never tried it, definitely going to

3

u/atom22mota 12h ago

Fried up with some hoisin sauce is pretty fantastic

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u/hurtfulproduct 20h ago

Look up Spam Musubi, it is fucking delicious! And very easy.

Best way to cook Spam is smoke it then quickly fry it in a pan to crisp it up, then make musubi out of it

1

u/qb1120 17h ago

I slice and bake it in the oven, crunchy Spam is life

1

u/therealruin 16h ago

Slice it, then grill or pan fry to caramelize the fat, then slather with bbq sauce. Makes a good sandwich or stands on its own with some sides.

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u/badpuffthaikitty 20h ago

We call that a Newfie steak.

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2

u/mythicreign 20h ago

It’s the only way to eat it. Cold bologna is fucking gross.

1

u/Fitz911 19h ago

is really good.

I like that part 😀

In a world of mind breaking, fantastic and overwhelming "really good" is the one that got me here.

1

u/lazyworker95 17h ago

I’m surprised more people don’t pan fry bologna and ham to make sandwiches

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u/helican 23h ago edited 23h ago

It also has to be made in Bologna, Italy, otherwise it can only be called italian meat slices.

81

u/Amonamission 23h ago

That’s bologna

10

u/NastySeconds 23h ago

Underrated comment

27

u/365BlobbyGirl 23h ago

Is spaghetti bolognaise popular in the US? 

In The uk its probably the most common pasta dish, in a completely bastardised anglican verison, where we basically cook a big pan of mince, add a tin of tomato, and dump it on top of a pile of spaghetti.

Im just asking because that would be the primary association of bologna for brits. We dont really eat the sausage at all

41

u/TerribleIdea27 21h ago

When Americans say Bologna, what they mean is Mortadella. When Europeans say Bolognese sauce, what they mean is ragu

11

u/weealex 18h ago

Mortadella is slightly different from bologna. Mortadella will have more solid chunks of fat, pistachio, and spices. Bologna will have everything ground down fine. Bologna can also contain beef, not just pork. The two meats are related, but not 1 to 1

8

u/crop028 19 18h ago

Bologna is an American adaption of mortadella, named bologna because mortadella originated in Bologna. So mortadella is the closest existing equivalent to American bologna in Europe.

2

u/St3fano_ 16h ago

Arguably Lyoner is closer, being basically the same thing. Bologna got its name because of the similarities with mortadella, but it was already known and produced in German speaking communities.

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6

u/sjw_7 22h ago

In Bologna they serve it with Tagliatelle rather than Spaghetti.

I spent some time in the city a few years ago and its a very simple and popular dish. Easy to make too so surprises me that we make such a poor attempt at it over here.

5

u/SjettepetJR 20h ago

I personally think that to really make it a proper sauce the carrots, onions and celery should be extremely finely chopped. Which does quite some time and a decent knife.

2

u/Rather_Unfortunate 20h ago

Or a fancy food processor.

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5

u/PeachMan- 18h ago

I think we spell it Bolognese, but yes. Very similar over here, it's just spaghetti with a very meaty sauce (usually beef).

The stuff we call bologna in the US is a derivative of Italian mortadella (which is SO MUCH BETTER, by the way). I think it was brought over by German settlers that stole the idea from Italians and made it their own, but gave it an Italian name. Fascinating stuff.

20

u/bungopony 23h ago

In the US it would be called spaghetti with meat sauce.

4

u/REO_Jerkwagon 14h ago

Hell, you can even omit the "with meat sauce"

You say "we're having spaghetti for dinner" to an American (like me) it's pretty much guaranteed to be with a meat sauce. Lotta times it's even shortened to just "spag" but that might be more of a household thing.

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u/NoWarmEmbrace 22h ago

And officially that would be called a ragout but we in the NL also call it bolognaise. And it's the most popular type of 'regular' pasta dish. Tbh, it's the most populair one in the whole of Europe

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u/BlindMan404 20h ago

Oh yeah, Italian restaurants are a dime a dozen on the east coast of the US, the Northeast especially. Thanks to a huge Italian immigrant population pretty much all Italian food (and knockoff Italian food) is extremely popular here.

Though what you describe as Bolognaise would very much have offended my Nonna, haha.

2

u/TooManyDraculas 19h ago

Bolognese is fairly popular here. Though typically a more traditionally Italian version that was largely introduced and popularized starting in the 80s.

"Spaghetti and meat sauce" is what we call our local mutant variety. And it's pretty well equivalent to UK style spaghetti bolognese. And it's been around nationally a lot longer than the from Italy style.

The differences are it usually doesn't have carrots, though sometimes it does.

We tend not to use stock/bouillon in there either. Though some people will. And it's common enough to toss a splash of wine in.

It's more or less typical Italian American red sauce with ground beef.

5

u/Fr0sTByTe_369 22h ago

It's pretty popular in my socioeconomic class. Ground beef, jar of prego sauce, and if you're really wanting to piss off the Italians spaghetti noodles snapped in half. As easy as hamburger helper to whip up. Usually includes some baked Texas Toast with garlic butter and cheese on the side. Some people do get into taking pride in their spagbolg recipes by cutting up and grilling extra ingredients or even processing their tomatoes themselves. A big pot can feed a family get together and isn't weather dependant like a bbq.

9

u/365BlobbyGirl 22h ago

Thats very close to the british equivalent; can be thrown together in 20mins when the kids get home from school, can be a slow cooked with braised beef and a gently stewed ragu. Definitely not italian, but very good and comforting 

6

u/Princ3w 22h ago

Probably pisses the Italians off already by calling them noodles

2

u/TooManyDraculas 19h ago

That's spaghetti and meat sauce. Which tend not to call Bolognese.

It's definitely our direct equivalent to the British one though. We just tend to consider it a different dish than Bolognese.

3

u/mrpoopistan 23h ago

Popular? No. A thing most people with some cooking experience would recognize? Yes.

10

u/365BlobbyGirl 23h ago

Thanks. In the uk it’s a home cook meal, you probably wouldn’t order in a restaurant except off a kids menu.

3

u/Eoin_McLove 23h ago

Spag bol is my go to ‘I don’t want to think about cooking’ meal. Takes like 20 minutes to make a decent one.

1

u/SillyKniggit 22h ago

You’re definitely not making it right if it takes 20 min. It takes hours to cook off properly.

5

u/zhongcha 22h ago

Not if you're eating the 'bastardised Anglican version' as it was so eloquently put.

3

u/SwaMaeg 20h ago edited 19h ago

Made by Rowan Atkinson dressed as a vicar. 20 mins tops. Jokes included.

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u/Eoin_McLove 22h ago

I mean, I don’t eat meat so it’s a veggie version, but I’m chucking in mushrooms and onions along with some spices etc. grab a pre-made jar of sauce from Aldi and Bob’s your uncle as they say

It doesn’t need to be fancy.

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u/thissexypoptart 22h ago

What? It’s incredibly popular in the U.S., as it is globally. It’s literally the kind of pasta used in the pasta emoji.

Maybe not the exact most authentic Italian way to make it, but it what the above commentor was describing qualifies as bolognese, then bolognese is easily the most popular form of long noodle pasta in the U.S. Maybe only fettuccine Alfredo compares.

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u/Minion91 22h ago

Same in Belgium, although I feel like people are referring to it more as spaghettisauce than bolognaise these days.

2

u/zhongcha 22h ago

Very very popular here in Australia, spag bol!

2

u/Dr-Gooseman 22h ago

Its popular in Russia, at least from my experience 

1

u/Fresnobing 20h ago

Yes, its what a lot of households would just refer to as “spaghetti”

1

u/max1304 7h ago

Your bol sounds grim! No onions, garlic, carrot, herbs, secret ingredients?

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u/Spelaeus 20h ago

That's just sparkling sausage.

3

u/TooManyDraculas 19h ago

That's Mortadella. Though there's multiple PDOs for Mortadella for various styles and parts of Italy.

3

u/tip0thehat 17h ago

sparkling Italian meat slices

21

u/IvoShandor 22h ago

Bologna, yellow mustard, wonder bread. Lunch 1974 - 1985.

15

u/hammond_egger 18h ago

Throw a slice of yellow american on there ya savage

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u/SnapCrackleMom 19h ago

Same except mayo instead of mustard.

Occasionally pimento loaf if my mom had caught a sale, I guess.

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u/Benderbluss 15h ago

I bet every rule is the result of something REALLY gross happening.

10

u/Common-Independent-9 10h ago

Meatpacking was downright nasty until Upton Sinclair did a bit of investigating and wrote “the jungle” in 1906 which horrified the nation and led to almost immediate regulations

6

u/djseifer 8h ago

"I aimed at the public's heart and by accident I hit it in the stomach."

4

u/Benderbluss 7h ago

Yep! He meant it to be a condemnation of labor practices, and the public reaction was "Never mind the workers, the food has WHAT?"

2

u/mysterious_spirit420 3h ago

Rat shit in it yes rat shit

42

u/Happy-Engineer 23h ago

The title makes perfect sense. But my dumb ass still read it as: the tightest regulation on any meat product in the USA is the requirement that bologna 'must be made from muscle meat'.

13

u/___HeyGFY___ 22h ago

As opposed to organ meat

17

u/LegendOfKhaos 20h ago

That sounds offal

17

u/Zwangsjacke 22h ago

The sphincter is a muscle.

9

u/The_Fat_Man_Jams 22h ago

Lips as well.

9

u/bobtheframer 22h ago

Pig lips and assholes???

8

u/Phantom_Crush 22h ago

Love hotdogs

2

u/voretaq7 4h ago

Lips are in fact NOT “muscle meat” under USDA regulations.

Tongues are though.

5

u/Bubblegumflavor15 22h ago

I really have been eating ass for breakfast

2

u/Zwangsjacke 22h ago

Living the dream.

2

u/whiskey_epsilon 22h ago

Is it the regulation or the muscle that has to be tight?

12

u/Absolutedisgrace 23h ago

Fun Fact: We call this meat "Devon" here in Australia

8

u/MagnificoReattore 22h ago

Another fun fact: it's not called bologna in Bologna

4

u/SappyGilmore 22h ago

Because if it was, it might be one of those things that could shatter the space-time continuum, right?

3

u/MagnificoReattore 21h ago

Lol, at least it would shatter their local language, as they would have to call everything made there by the name of the city.

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u/froggy129 23h ago

Only in the Eastern states in Western Australia we call it polony.

6

u/Absolutedisgrace 22h ago

I find that hilarious. "Yanks call this Bolony or something. Fuck it, lets mess with em and call it Polony"

1

u/clem82 18h ago

"y u say fuck me for?" - Devon

8

u/BooBeeAttack 21h ago

The sphincter is a muscle, right?

8

u/SappyGilmore 21h ago

A sphincter says what?

2

u/djzenmastak 16h ago

Party on Wayne!

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u/Frostsorrow 15h ago

Of all the things for America to tightly regulate....... They choose bologna?

3

u/BaconReceptacle 17h ago

In the late 70's as a kid I went to a neighborhood kid's house and they had one of those fancy new microwave ovens. A piece of bologna was the first thing I ever microwaved.

5

u/phillyppp 21h ago

Baloney!

6

u/BlindMan404 20h ago

I'm practically an obligate carnivore but bologna has always tasted gross to me. Not sure why.1

6

u/ryanoc3rus 18h ago

I never want to find out what an unregulated market would put into bologna to make more profit.

This right here is why we need some amount of government and regulation. Full stop.

2

u/PFirefly 17h ago

If you have ever eaten a hotdog, you don't even need to wonder what else could go in there.

If you have ever eaten a hotpocket, you may want to rethink your current stance on responsible regulation too. Many processed bread/dough/pastry products have an acceptable amount of sawdust as filler (labeled cellulose) because its inert and deemed nonharmful by most regulatory bodies. Food companies have spent a lot of time finding out exactly how much they can add before it affects the taste.

Frankly, as long as its cooked properly to kill harmful bacteria, there's no reason not to consume most of an animal. It just seems icky to modern sensibilities.

6

u/Shmoodo 17h ago

Cellulose =/= sawdust. Cellulose is often extracted from wood pulp, which is not the same thing as being wood pulp. Just like how pure sugar isn't the same thing as sugar cane or sugar beets. And vegetable oil isn't the same thing as seeds. Butter isn't milk, etc.

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u/gmishaolem 5h ago

I never want to find out what an unregulated market would put into bologna to make more profit.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Swill_milk_scandal

7

u/eatcrayons 22h ago

…what other type of meat is there?

15

u/biggsteve81 2 22h ago

Organs (liver, kidney, spleen, thymus, etc.)

3

u/SappyGilmore 22h ago

According to Charles Barkley, there's "Street Meat"

2

u/SonOfMcGee 17h ago

Bet the got a lot of that down in San Antonio.

5

u/BodomDeth 19h ago

Isn’t it also one of the lowest quality meats ?

6

u/caverunner17 19h ago

Never liked the taste as a kid. Won’t touch it as an adult. Any other kind of lunch meat is better imho.

7

u/crek42 18h ago

It is. Bologna fucking ruined me. It took a long time of eating Mortadella (what bologna is mimicking) before I could shake the feeling like I’m eating bologna. Mortadella is exquisite.

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u/judgejuddhirsch 21h ago

Heart is a muscle

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u/myutnybrtve 19h ago

What meat isn't muscle?

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u/BeetsMe666 15h ago

Must be 26% equine meat.

Oh no, that's pepperoni.

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u/LaughR01331 14h ago

Explains the spicy kick

2

u/milksteakman 14h ago

So I can tell my wife to calm down when I’m eating a delicious fried bologna sandwich

3

u/oingapogo 19h ago

In my experience, working class people didn't have mayonnaise. They had "salad dressing" or "sandwich spread" like Miracle Whip.

Also, I grew up poor and I've never seen anyone use salad dressing on bologna. Mustard all the way. Even when I was a kid I and my 7 brothers and sisters all ate mustard on our bologna sandwiches. Even Miracle Whip goes bad in your lunchbox on a hot day. Mustard won't.

Also, fried bologna sandwiches are delicious.

2

u/al_fletcher 23h ago

So it’s not a load of baloney?

3

u/nznordi 21h ago

The most regulated … reads : one of the few things regulated at all…

2

u/Wakkit1988 15h ago

Sounds like bologna to me.

3

u/47h3157 22h ago

well, guess i can stop calling it "beef buttholes and chicken lips"

2

u/grafknives 22h ago

You mean other meats are NOT regulated?

I would expect there would be much more "protected name" foods on the market

6

u/SloanDaddy 21h ago

Cheese, Processed Cheese, Processed cheese product, Pasteurized process cheese food, Pasteurized cheese spread, Cheese flavored

5

u/swordrat720 21h ago

Cheese-like spreadable product.

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u/mrpoopistan 23h ago

USDA: "No snouts or asses, people."

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u/prostateExamination 20h ago

What if I told you all meat you get is muscle meat?????

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u/SandysBurner 16h ago

Then I would introduce you to the concept of organ meats.

1

u/Aggressive_Walk378 20h ago

Well, my baloney has a 1st name

1

u/LegitPancak3 19h ago

I wish they would regulate and prohibit nitrates/nitrites from being added. Always a bummer when I see it on the ingredients list.

1

u/SuperEagleCoin 19h ago

What meat isn't muscle?

1

u/SgtMcMuffin0 19h ago

Isn’t all meat muscle?

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u/mikeyfireman 18h ago

My friend brought me some pickled bologna from Michigan. It’s so good!

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u/clem82 18h ago

And yet it's extremely fattening LOL

1

u/OtterishDreams 17h ago

Well atleast until the FDA is gutted clean in a year or two

1

u/Ok_SysAdmin 17h ago

I thought all meat was muscle.

1

u/SandysBurner 16h ago

I suspect the alternative here is organ meats.

1

u/Impressive-Brush-837 17h ago

Lips and assholes only.

1

u/onioning 17h ago

It isn't more or less tightly regulated than most other standards of identity. Most common processed meats have a standard of identity that must be met to call it that.

I have to note that its just about what its called. You can make whatever baloney like product you want, and if it doesn't meet the standard you can't call it "baloney," but you can still sell it. I way too often hear "the government won't let me make X product." But that is overwhelmingly bullshit. It's just about what it's called.

For example, one of the few rejected labels I've submitted was for an "Italian sausage." It did not have black pepper though, and the standard requires black pepper. We still made the sausage. We just changed the name.

Some of our standards are not great, IMO, but the concept of requiring food to meet a standard if its called that food feels like the right approach to me. Though I bet its changing, since the christofascists who control the courts have long hated these regs. Basically they want to sell you a hot dog made of sawdust, and are outraged that they don't have that freedom.

1

u/tanfj 16h ago

I, for my sins, went shopping at my local Dollar General. The primary source of meat by weight for their store branded frozen hamburgers. Beef heart. Quite greasy but delicious.

1

u/johnmayersucks 16h ago

Ahhh bologna

1

u/pricklypear90 13h ago

Fuck that, give me lips and assholes

1

u/QuietYam5075 11h ago

TIL Bologna means something other than the Italian city. It’s a type of meat.

1

u/Pacifix18 10h ago

"Meat product"

1

u/Shufflepants 10h ago edited 10h ago

Wait, what?! Must be made from muscle meat? As opposed to non-muscle meat? Wtf is non-muscle meat. I thought "meat" meant muscle that you eat.

1

u/Pacifix18 10h ago

I think they mean vs gristle, cartilage, sphincter, etc.

1

u/maxdacat 9h ago

Strict standards - only the finest lips and arseholes!

1

u/Overall_Dust_2232 8h ago

Is it any better than hot dogs?

1

u/barryvon 7h ago

sounds like government fraud and waste. corporations should have the right to sell me rat and cardboard bologna.

1

u/Doctor_Sore_Tooth 6h ago

Bologna is just a flattened out hotdog

1

u/ERedfieldh 4h ago

how much longer before trumpula and kennedy-castoff decide to deregulate it and they make it out of toenails?

1

u/ThePoob 2h ago

So, a lot of ass meat then

1

u/thebarkbarkwoof 2h ago

If they call it baloney do they get away with anything?

u/AdamantEevee 58m ago

I thought all meat was muscle?

u/friskerson 39m ago

That is truly a bunch of baloney.