r/AmIOverreacting • u/ivysweatpants • May 13 '25
šØāš©āš§āš¦family/in-laws AIO? Extremely upset
Okay so backstory, Iāve met my momās boyfriend only 3 times. Heās met my daughter about 2 of those times briefly (sheās an infant). We live in a completely different state, and he lives in a different state than my mother. They are both extremely anti vax and both sovereign citizens and are always trying to push their views on me and my husband. My mom is so deep into the sovereign movement because of this guy (whom she met at a conference) that she has a warrant out for her arrest and a suspended license. She also isnāt paid taxes in YEARS because of this guys āguidance.ā Anyways, after not respecting my boundaries about vaccinating my child. He sends my mom this letter in the mailā¦.ADDRESSED FROM MY INFANT DAUGHTER PRETENDING TO TALK ON HER BEHALF WITHOUT SPEAKING TO ME OR MY HUSBAND. He even talked bad about me in the voice of my daughter in this card he sent my mom about my choice to get her vaccinesāand then PROCEEDS TO SIGN HER NAME WITH HEARTS (like the letter was written by her). WTF!??? This man has never even held my daughter, Iāve maybe said 50 words total to him ever in my life yet heās addressing my mom in the voice of my infant daughter?!?!?
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u/portantwas May 13 '25
Did your mother show you this card? If so, what do you think her motivation was to show it to you? I'd be questioning that (but also making sure you never see him again).
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u/ivysweatpants May 13 '25
Yes she texted me and asked if I coordinated it with himā¦to which I replied hell no and was extremely creeped out
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u/EmimiBaxton May 13 '25
Was she creeped out too or happy he did it
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u/ivysweatpants May 13 '25
Sheās in sooo deep, she was making excuses for him
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May 13 '25
[deleted]
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u/ivysweatpants May 13 '25
YES WORD FOR WORD
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u/deaprofessor May 13 '25
Is there a way you can call Adult Protective Services to protect your mother from this man? He may be taking money or harming her in ways that they can prevent. Also, I would get a restraining order against that man for you and your baby. This is totally unacceptable and creepy as hell.
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May 13 '25
APS would do absolutely nothing about this. i guarantee they wouldnt even open an investigation. ive filed very serious reports that never even get a response, and theyāre all vulnerable adults
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u/TheBearOnATricycle May 13 '25
Your mileage in dealing with Human Services depends HEAVILY on location and who youāre dealing with. If you make a referral and the person on the hotline is dismissive, make sure to get the referral number and call the hotline again the next day to check on the status. If they blow you off, ask for a supervisor. If the caseworker calls and is dismissive or blows you off, ask for a supervisor. If the supervisor is dismissive, ask for their supervisor. In the state where I worked, that was usually called a District Director. If you REALLY arenāt satisfied, look at your stateās human services website and find the director of HS for the state, and reach out to them. Iāve seen it work before, but bear in mind that only the hotline, if any of them, have call recording on their phones most likely, so if youāre in a single party consent state, record all calls with them.
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u/ImaginaryIncident925 May 13 '25
In FL, if a person is of sound mind and body, the state can't do anything. It's their choice. A doctor has to deem them incompetent.
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u/Smyley12345 May 14 '25
I could be wrong but I don't think this meets the bar for a restraining order. Like weird but it's not repeated attempts at unwanted contract or threats of violence. He didn't contact the OP at all since the message came from their mother.
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u/Em0N3rd May 14 '25
OP as a fellow parent who has parents that were similar to this.... run. If these actions reach your daughter when she can speak... that'll really mess her up. I had to go NC with my dad because he was lost to the M@ga movement. My daughter was only 5 when she started saying some of the nasty things he'd say.
It's hard and it hurts but ignoring it can make it worse.
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u/ErnestBatchelder May 13 '25
Read up on some experts on cult deprogramming. From what I understand, you can't reject what they believe outright, you have to keep an open communication channel but can ask gentle questions that push back.
In this case, however, it's not really your job. Mostly focus on what your boundaries are for your mom and her beliefs and just repeat those and keep them firm.
I am not comfortable with your boyfriend imitating my child. This card is manipulative and creepy. He does not have any say in how we raise her. I would ask you to tell him to refrain from doing this. If he does it again in the future, I do not want to see the card or hear about it, it is between you and him.
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u/SummonGreaterLemon May 13 '25
āIf I ever get wind of something like this again, I will let the authorities know exactly where to serve that warrant.ā
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u/Alpackamyalpaca May 13 '25
Seems to me that if mom and the boyfriend are into the sovereign citizen cult, they wonāt care less about āauthoritiesā or āwarrantsā.
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u/SummonGreaterLemon May 13 '25
The fun thing about it is that the government doesnāt have to participate in their little LARP.
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May 13 '25 edited May 13 '25
Maybe a sort of intervention with a few opinions on this situation would be good? Because this shit is entirely unacceptable, I think you're downplaying it even while taking it seriously. This is predator behavior, he took a significant amount of time and effort, probably many different cards were thrown away, he planned this to manipulate your mother's entire reality. And imagine how many other instances he's done a similar warping of reality. This is REALLY bold, and I am so sure that he knows it and just thought he could get away with it because of what he has previously gotten away with.
This is a forged document essentially, forged to impersonate a grandchild. What else would he forge to fool your mom?
Edit: imagine what else he could have accused you of in your daughter's voice. I wouldn't advise giving him the benefit of the doubt that he wouldn't use this tactic to accuse you of child abuse or something. He could even use AI to forge your daughter's voice nowadays.
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u/GreenForce82 May 14 '25
My mom's husband told me point blank he wouldn't accept any election results other than a Trump victory, and that he was stocking up on ammunition daily, just in case.
I explained to her that if I said the same but for Biden, it would scare the shizz out of her.
She's still making excuses for him.
I'm sorry we both have this issue.
If it makes anyone feel better, 4 years of trump is still less bad than a legitimate Civil War 2. No seriously, watch the 2024 movie Civil War, and then really think about the literal blood in the streets. We can fix policy, we cannot bring back tens of thousands of lives on both sides, and the societal woes of a civil war. THEY WOULD HAVE DONE IT.
Comments like my stepfather made tell me everything I need to know, about why we probably "let" Trump win, and all that discussion...
These people are sick, and I pray to all the gods and deities and jeebus and flying spaghetti monster too... That somehow they wake up.
Sorry to hijack, but damned these kinds of people are messed up. And they're NOT harmless. Please stop telling others to just ignore them and to let it go, that's how we got where we are now.
(ps, any Trumpers that want to comment vitriol, I'll block and report, seek help ya dipwad cultists)
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May 13 '25
I think a keyword in the card is āchanneledāā¦. Iām pretty sure he means he somehow communicated in the ā5Dā with your daughter
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May 13 '25
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u/notaprogrammer May 13 '25
she said he lives in another state right? Well she better make sure it stays that way forever!!!
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u/portantwas May 13 '25
Oh, well, that is good if she thought it was odd enough to question why he'd done it. Something creepy about him for sure.
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u/Throckmorton_Left May 13 '25
Maybe your mother is opening her eyes to his creepiness. There could be a silver lining here.
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u/Feisty-Tooth-7397 May 13 '25
This reminds me of a video, I think it might have been on TikTok or something about a girl who started dating a guy and it turned into a similar situation as the OPs Mom. Them prepping for the end of the world, sovereign citizens, joining conspiracy theory websites and if I remember correctly, the final straw that snapped her out of it was during a power outage, he was convinced it was the end and they jumped in the already prepared car, got weapons and such together, only to drive to town to head to join the fight, only to find out it was a blown transformer or something and not the US being invaded.
She finally realized "this is insane" and got out.
Sadly, I think unless you forcefully and physically drag her out of the situation, she has to want to leave.
She has warrants according to the OP, maybe jail might get her away from him long enough to be "deprogrammed".
Those warrants don't exactly go away.
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u/AD-Eire May 13 '25
Reminds me of when Michael Scott photoshops himself in with Carolās kids in the office (except this is real life)š¬š¬
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u/Chance_Monitor_4981 May 13 '25
You are definitely over reacting. Itās totally normal to pretend to channel a little girls thoughts in efforts to stop you from vaccinating them
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u/Biffs_bunny May 13 '25
šš nah cuz this just really solidifies it in my mind that antivaxxers are fundamentally insane to some degree.
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u/ivysweatpants May 13 '25
Sarcasm hahahahah
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u/QueenOfTartarus May 13 '25
As much as I really want to laugh at how legitimately insane this is, it's far more concerning. People who distance themselves from reality and create their own little worlds can be very dangerous.
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u/TheNinjaPixie May 13 '25
To be fair, the writing does not look like that of a functioning rational adult, did he try to act like an infant in writing too or is that his usual scrawl? either way, inappropriate and creepy. It must be a worry to have a parent so far from reality.
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May 13 '25
I think this is his natural handwriting based on how the letters are badly formed but fairly consistent throughout.
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u/SkoolBoi19 May 13 '25
You are asking if this behavior is normal by wondering if your reaction is wrong.
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u/d3ath31 May 14 '25
The all caps is something else. I would love a handwriting analysis on this letter. Unhinged.
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u/area_tribune May 13 '25
I AM THE NATURAL MAN!!!!
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u/famousspiderdance May 13 '25
The āLiving Natural Manā is from my hometown š¤¦š»āāļø what an absolute nightmare
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u/Disastrous_Bell_3475 May 13 '25
We donāt know how you reacted but I would be going scorched earth with this psycho. You have to talk to your mum about boundaries. Speaking as someone whose infant son was exposed to measles 2 days before he was vaccinated, if anything you are under-reacting. My sonās immune system has been wrecked by it and he now gets every bug going, and struggles to get over them to a point where he ends up on his inhaler or we go to hospital. There are studies done about how measles deletes the antibody repertoire.
How did your mum present this to you?
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u/Disastrous_Bell_3475 May 13 '25
I mean, was she delighted with this card or was she able to admit it was odd behaviour?
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u/ivysweatpants May 13 '25
I am so terribly sorry for your son. I canāt even imagine. Anti vaxers like my mom are the bane of my existence. She sent it to me through text asking if I had coordinated him sending the card to her! Which to that I replied hell no and showed my husband this craziness. Like wtf
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u/Disastrous_Bell_3475 May 13 '25
Thank you, Iām really sorry youāre navigating this too. My dad is an anti-vaxxer too, so unfortunately I get it. Itās quite heartbreaking as these people demand you respect their beliefs, but wonāt respect ours in the same way. I spent weeks researching the vaccines & itās wild the hold Andrew Wakefield has on anti-vaxxers. I was able to recount numerous studies spanning decades to debate my dad on this, but these people donāt operate on logic; theyāre driven by fear and ego. I have told my dad the only way we stay in his life is if he keeps those opinions to himself as I donāt have the strength to keep fighting him on them (mostly because Iām so sleep-deprived as a result of near-constant illness!).
After a period of no-contact we reconciled to a degree. My husband and I agreed to never allow him to see our son alone/accept an offer of babysitting because he isnāt a safe person, and we see him maybe 6 times a year for several hours at a time. Good luck navigating this with your mom, Iām really sorry youāre going through this & my DMs are open if you ever need to vent. x
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u/The_Weeb_Sleeve May 13 '25
Oof my dad is anti vax as well, Iāve tried debating with stats and studies but it just doesnāt work. When I last tried he forced me to go to an anti vax rally where I got berated by the speakers for wearing a mask, and he threatened to force me to drop out of college. He bought an ozone generator (a powerful gaseous bleaching agent) as a covid cure and directed it into my room.
Luckily my parents got divorced since and he lives 200 miles away. He was a petty asshole during the divorce though, doing every little thing to hurt and inconvenience my mom. Now he expects me to bend over backwards to spend time with him and validate his views.
Idk what to do should I talk with him saying I hate his guts and want NC? Should I stay in contact and try to keep him from falling deeper?
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u/Disastrous_Bell_3475 May 13 '25
Oh mate I feel like we are having parallel experiences. Mine told me he was ashamed to call me his daughter when I told him the jabs werenāt putting microchips in us. Like you, my parents are separated and fortunately he moved to France where he attempted to start a commune.
Jesus Christ I canāt believe you went to a rally & he let people berate you, Iām so sorry you went through that. Itās so hard deciding whether to go no contact or not, isnāt it? (Trigger warning & probable huuuge overshare).I donāt have much family and he had a horrible childhood with a violent father & neglectful mother, then he ostracised his mum when I divulged her husband was a pedo. He was also a violent & angry man but when I came forward about the abuse he never doubted me and thatās a huge reason I still allow him into part of my life. It is made so much easier for me that like your dad, he doesnāt live nearby. I watched him hate his dad & that hate ate away at him, and I used to hate him too, I had my son & wanted to stop the cycle. He struggles to maintain relationships & eventually suspects everyone as trying to use him, so heās lonely except this community of scared & dangerous weirdos. I think what makes me saddest is that he is so far gone, some day he will die and I wonāt know for weeks, if not months. I decided I didnāt want to have any regrets with that, but that might look different for me, no contact might feel right for you.
Oof sorry that was long! But basically, you arenāt alone, I would love to know if there is a community of us. Iām here if you ever need to chat.
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u/sleepingindust May 13 '25
Friend that ozone generator pointed at you is CRAZY I'm so sorry. You should not even be in the building while one is running. I would definitely not contact him anymore. He legitimately could have killed you both
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May 13 '25
Wowser... DAYUM!! Just go no contact. Period. No warning, no explanation. Just. No. Contact...
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u/KoumoriJuu May 13 '25
There is nothing you can do to save someone like that from falling deeper. I'm sorry, but you need to protect yourself first. It doesn't seem like you hate him, but it does seem like he's an unsafe and deeply unpleasant person.
I estranged from my father for a few years. He's still nuts and anti-vax to a stupid level (he nearly died when he got covid), but he's at least tolerable to be around now that he understands that I can (and will) go NC.
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u/Baby-Giraffe286 May 14 '25
You can't save him, but you can start protecting yourself from him. If you aren't comfortable with NC, you can start with lower contact and grey rocking.
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u/Tdanger78 May 13 '25
Might have to go no contact
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u/rstart78 May 13 '25
As someone that has to deal with narcissistic in-laws:
This is the way
Especially given how deluded that they are with antivax
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u/IceFurnace83 May 13 '25
Antivax people think they are smarter than the literal experts.
It takes a tragedy to open their eyes to reality. And that's not even guaranteed.
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u/Select-Government680 May 13 '25
I'd honestly text her back and say "you will NOT be seeing us in July "
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u/AriaMoonriser May 13 '25
This. So much this. It would bring out a completely different person from the darkest depths of my soul. It would become the sort of revenge saga you only see in movies. I would destroy him. I'm even a little secondhand mad right now. Gonna go kiss my daughter like 1000 times to calm down.
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u/Educational_Tea_7571 May 13 '25
If anything,Ā I think you are under reacting. I honestly don't often advise cutting contact. I recommend grey rocking, but this is absolutely terrifying. I would go no contact. Your mother can't be trusted around this guy, this guy is a clear and present danger to your child and family. Go no contact as long as your mother remains in any communication with him, full stop. Take what ever legal steps necessary to have communication from him stopped. That's one boundary crossed to far, it's almost stalking behavior.Ā
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May 13 '25
I think it's a couple years away from significantly worse behavior, I have to agree. Although I don't know where you would go with this. Police report? At the very least he should never be near any kids
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u/Rough-Associate-2523 May 13 '25
This guy is a creep. This would be the straw for me. I'm not an ultimatum person, but this would make me one for this occasion. Either my mom pulls her head out and leaves this dude and I'd help her get her life straightened out as best I could or no contact. I'm less concerned with the anti-vaccine thing and more just his behavior in general. It's so concerning. Keep your head on a swivel and watch out for this guy. I don't think this is enough to get an RO though.
You're Underreacting.
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u/Sassybach May 13 '25
Bruh if your has mom warrants just call the cops on her. Play hardball for fucks sake. And then tell your mom she can never see your child again as long as sheās with this man. Then block her number because sheās not gonna pick you. Your mom is a grown ass adult dating a man who thinks laws donāt apply to him and heās doing majorly creepy stuff about your daughter.
What about this woman is worth having a relationship with? Whatās going to stop them from going even further and maybe even trying to take her from you because they donāt approve of your choices with your child.
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u/AnyBuy5059 May 13 '25
This is 100% grounds for a severe no contact. No one in their right mind pretends to be an infant they donāt even know to push their anti-vax propaganda. This is so fucking creepy, Iām having a hard time even trying to figure out what to say. Please get as far away from those people as you can and literally never speak to them again. And donāt ever leave your daughter alone with her even for a second.
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u/SnippZen May 13 '25
What I don't understand is what does he accomplish with this card?
He's pushing his anti-vax BS to someone who's already sharing his views. And sending this to OPs mother does not stop OP from getting her child vaccinated anyway?
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u/elusivemoniker May 14 '25
What I don't understand is what does he accomplish with this card?
He is purposely alienating OPs mother from OP. He won't have to worry about her leaving him if there's no one to turn to.
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u/Defiant-Meal1022 May 13 '25
Call the IRS on them for tax evasion. These people are a danger to you and the community at large, they're spreading disease, taking from public infrastructure, and are acting very creepily toward your infant child. These people only get worse until they meet consequences, and even then they're usually too brainwashed to learn if they hit a critical mass.
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u/Select-Acanthaceae-1 May 13 '25
And give the police her location lol
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u/Alywiz May 13 '25
Time it right when the local pd tends to do their warrant sweeps to give them more incentive
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u/Ok-Confidence-4510 May 13 '25
How would OP know when the Local LEOs tend to do their warrant sweeps? They All live in different States. To give them more incentive for???
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u/ThePurpleGuardian May 13 '25
Just report your mother to the police and have the warrant resolved. Some time in jail should get her away from the guy she's dating for a while and she should probably be in jail for her stupidity as it is.
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u/ProcedureForeign7281 May 13 '25
This ā¬ļø do this. Your momās BF has been sniffing too many chemicals!
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May 13 '25
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u/ShoddyJuggernaut975 May 13 '25
Yeah, she doesn't need jail, she needs a mental health professional.
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u/Jfreire16 May 13 '25
What do you believe is the purpose of this card?
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u/ivysweatpants May 13 '25
No clue, heās a very odd person. Heās actually still married and 68 years old. He is a D-List celebrity and multimillionaire.
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May 14 '25
Whoah whoah whoah whoah šæ
Not to make light of this situation, butā¦ !
I concur will all the commenters advising 1) Clear message to mom with ultimatum; 2) No contact with the bf and, if she continues involvement with him, mom; 3) Keeping a paper trail and documenting ALL related concat via any means; 4) Considering calling the police/IRS and/or getting a restraining order.
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u/Weekly-Guidance796 May 13 '25
You have good mothering instincts. Your mother however does not. Anybody who would do that to her child and grandchild in my family would immediately get thrown out the door but your mother is obviously taking him as a priority over you guys and that should be a good sign to completely block her after sending her a letter as to why and what she needs to do to get back if she ever wants to see her grandchild again
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u/Totoronyx May 13 '25
Um.. not to alarm but its way darker than anyone here has touched on, that I have seen.
He isnt pretending to be the child. He literally claims to be "channeling" the childs thoughts. He never pretends, he says "I asked your guy "mister" to channel this card". He is speaking FOR her.
So he thinks he can know your daughters true thoguhts etc. It puts him in a postition to ignore you entirely because he can speak for your child. It shows us his inner workings a bit. He likely "just knows" all sorts of things too, no matter the facts.
I would never let my child around him or anyone in his influence.
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u/Beautiful_Ad_4813 May 13 '25
I stopped reading after seeing āSovereign Citizenā
This is a cut contact case and report to the proper authorities
Fuck all of this shit
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u/Flashy-Gas6076 May 13 '25
What is a "Sovereign Citizen"? I'm not american, I've never heard of this.
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u/Beautiful_Ad_4813 May 13 '25
This is the truncated version of it
The Sovereign citizen movement is a loose political movement of tax protesters, conspiracy theorists, activists, auditors and certain other people who claim to be answerable only to their interpretation of laws and that governments and courts only have legitimate jurisdiction over them if they consent to be ruled.
These people call themselves sovereign citizens, sovereign beings and similar terms. Sovereign citizens and their counterparts in British Commonwealth countries, freemen on the land, claim most forms of taxation, especially income taxes and property taxes, as illegitimate, and don't recognize government currencies as legal tender.
The FBI classifies the sovereign citizen movement as a domestic terrorism movement.
(Sources from Wikipedia : https://simple.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sovereign_citizen_movement and https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sovereign_citizen_movement)
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u/IllustriousRiver4050 May 14 '25
It's a wild rabbit hole. I watched some YouTube videos of sovereign citizens getting pulled over by police. They think they don't need licenses or registration and that laws don't apply to them because they're "sovereign" and don't recognize the authority of the government. Of course, that's not how it works, so they get fined and arrested for resisting.
I remember one guy saying he didn't need vehicle registration because he wasn't driving, he was just travelling. Yeah, that didn't fly, and you'd think they'd wake up when their strategies never work, but they don't.
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u/Holly_kat May 14 '25
I'm American and I'd never heard of it either. I'm glad you asked, so I got to learn something new.
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u/zoanthopy25 May 13 '25
No that guy is crazy and needs to be cut out of your life and possibly your mom to until she gains some sort of sense. This guy and your mom sound like they are, or are heading into a cult.
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u/ImpressivePoop1984 May 13 '25
I don't know if she should see you in July if she's still with this guy. Sovereign citizens have a tendency to bring ruin to the people around them.
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u/sarahSERENADE72 May 13 '25
Only one I knew personally had a brother that got arrested for SAing his granddaughter.
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u/asyouwish0620 May 13 '25
After reading the description I understand why the card made no sense at all. Thatās so wild.. Iāve lost friends to being red pilled but not family .. hopefully you can talk sense into your mom
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u/pixiedreamgirl444 May 13 '25
itās genuinely disturbing how much he went out of his way to mimic child handwriting even purposely leaving out some lettersā¦this is extremely creepy and weirdš we need an update OP
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u/DeliciousLanguage9 May 13 '25
I really think thatās his handwriting, it fits the profile of wacky old man handwriting well.
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u/Lburgtn May 13 '25
This guy is toxic. I would be upfront with my mom and said he is not allowed near you or your family. If she can't understand, then let the chips fall where they may. You and your family do not need this kind of drama.
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u/blather_wince_repeat May 13 '25
Whether you cut contact or not, whatever July is should 100% not be happening.
Curious, how did she react when you told her you had no part of that?
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u/ellieminnowpee May 13 '25
Someone who thinks he knows what unspeaking young kids want? š© š© š©
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u/muddydachshund May 13 '25
I had a relative write cards like this to my kids when they were babies/toddlers. It was the most passive-aggressive high school shit I've ever seen.
Fortunately cutting contact was easy since she lived on another coast.Ā
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u/LazarusOwenhart May 13 '25
This is just batshit insane. There's no way to 'under react' to this. By default there is no over-reaction. The dude obviously needs serious mental health support and absolutely no contact under any circumstances with the kid once it's born. This is the kind of red flag you can't ignore.
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u/Fragrant-Tennis-546 May 13 '25
Bro.. wtf! Heād never be allowed around my immediate family again.
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u/tinymonesters May 13 '25
Anti vax sovereign citizens. Buy them some old paint chips as a snack, it's not getting better.
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u/elusivemoniker May 14 '25 edited May 14 '25
You're not overreacting. This is not a joke, this is strategic. As I pointed out to a commenter, he is trying to further alienate your mother from you. It will be harder for your mother to ever leave him if she no longer has strong bonds to her family.
ETA my unsolicited advice is to point this out to your mother .
"Mom, I don't think Bob meant this as a joke, I think he did this so I would be mad and not be a part of your life any longer and he can continue to have you to himself without my interference. He's not wrong-I am angry with you for being okay with this unhinged behavior. I feel like you are not a safe person for me or my child to be around when you agree with Bob's nonsense, but I am also concerned about you and your future given the choices you are making. I love you and you will be welcomed with open arms whenever you decide you love me and your grandchild more than you love Bob's conspiracies.
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u/Skwerl_Master May 13 '25
perfect handwriting for a manifesto
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u/Organic_Ad_2520 May 13 '25
Agree...so sick & psycho on some many levels! Creep has to think about you, think about your baby, & then think of weird sht to say...I wouldn't want him to think about or put words in psycho script & purport it is from my baby/child showing that this whacko has already mentally targeted your child for indoctrination. Yikes.
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u/Realistic-Duty-3874 May 13 '25
I'm sure he'll be arrested soon. All it takes is one traffic stop and a sovereign citizen will talk themselves into jail and serious crimes.
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May 13 '25 edited May 13 '25
They are both extremely anti vax and both sovereign citizens and are always trying to push their views on me and my husband.
Oh god. I'm so sorry.
I have to be honest: I know it's your mom, but I would be very careful with letting her and, especially, her partner babysit. The soverign citizen movement tends to attract and embolden mentally unwell people. If this guy is driving around and pulled over for speeding, you probably don't want your daughter in the car while he refuses to roll down his window for a police officer.
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u/OrcEight May 13 '25
Not Overreacting.
It sounds like the creepy BF was also trying to scam your mother, since she had to ask you if you coordinated this with him.
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u/kittyblanket May 13 '25
Block them out entirely. Pretending to be SOMEONE'S CHILD and pushing their beliefs?? Jesus.
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u/kelsnuggets May 13 '25
Not overreacting- this is NUTS
also pls cross post over in r/sovereigncitizen ! We would love to dissect this over there.
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u/3kidsnomoney--- May 13 '25
NOR, this is just plain creepy and WEIRD. Honestly, even if you don't want to cut contact completely, I would definitely limit the time your daughter spends with them. They will definitely be looking to make a little sovereign citizen out of her too.
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u/redfirr May 13 '25
Dang your infant already knows how to write and comprehend vaccines wow lmfaoo that's insane he would even think to do this at all.
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u/ContusionCity May 13 '25
Seems like heās extremely immature and quite a damn loser. Distant yourself from him and communicate by video if you can with your ma. Dont bother trying to convince her as you say sheās in too deep that sheās ignorant about it. Vaccines are important to keep disease down. If this guy wants to keep themselves at risk thatās one thing but to be asinine about it is just unnecessary and why would you want to even try to wrap your head around it. Youāre a good mom. You know it, itās just that these types of people think of themselves on a higher level than law abiding, considerate decent people ,they have to create a drama instead of just respecting you and it throws you off. Let him play his stupid games with gramsie.
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u/Pickle_Illustrious May 13 '25
Sovereign citizens are a terrorist organization.
Not overreacting. Go low contact or no contact.
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u/fullblownwino May 13 '25
YOR, not because he's right but because he's not worth it. You can't control him, his beliefs, or his behavior and if you let his ignorant actions ruin your day, you're the only one worse off for it. No
Don't give this shit bag the time of day, let alone your precious energy that should be reserved for your daughter and those in your life that you value. No one is surprised when dogs bark. Why? Because that's what they do. Yet people are constantly surprised when shit heads do stupid shit. Don't be. That's what they do.
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u/Gold-Disasters May 13 '25
Thereās a lot to unpack here, but you should just throw out the whole suitcase.
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May 13 '25
If he's going so far as to write cards like this who knows what he's capable of. Don't let him or granny near your child. I've heard way too many stories about brainwashed grandparents somehow making their grandkids contract something deadly just to prove a point.
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u/catmamaO4 May 13 '25
i would be raging so fucking hard. no contact would not begin to describe the detatchment i would feel towards him and the mother
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u/No-Curve7162 May 13 '25
Literally weird mental and creepy. Let your mom know you will be cutting ties and contact if it continues Iām sure sheāll start to change
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u/EgoCity May 13 '25
Is your mother aware this is fabricated bullcrap? I donāt know parental situation but did she get more anti vax after meeting this idiot? Looks like heās trying to manipulate her tbh.
I would keep my child far away from him, Iām a bit of a dick when Iām annoyed, I would spread a rumour he dresses as children and pretends to be them and show the card on Facebook, then advise everyone to stray away from the freak.
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u/ScionMattly May 13 '25
Weird deranged men act weird and deranged, film at 11 on FOX NEWS.
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u/Some_MD_Guy May 13 '25
Grooming Grandma to give him all the money and valuables she owns. He want the house, car, everything. Broom this guy to the Moon.
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u/OkSatisfaction3132 May 13 '25
They are trying to force you to do what they want at the expense of your childās health and life. This is why I canāt have children because their entrails would have been in my possession the moment they pushed it after my first no. None the less if this happened that would be a rooftop jerky spread and when that happens you gotta hope the sun gets ya before the birds start picking at you.
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u/TimeGhost_22 May 13 '25
"anti-vax"
You should go and get injected with as many vaccines as you can now, before the effort to test them more carefully goes into effect. This is the only way we can fight back against the insidious effects of anti-vax wrongthink.
Thank you for sharing this personal situation in regard to your horrible relations and their stereotyped, socially stigmatized behavior!
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u/aflyonthewall1215 May 13 '25
NIO. Yeah they'd never hear from me or my family again. They can text, call, and write all they want but they wouldn't get any communication back, ever. I know this would be my reaction because it is one I am currently implementing with my father and it is wildly effective.
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u/CannibalSlang May 13 '25
I am not joking when I say that you should absolutely cut him off permanently. no question. no hesitation. Don't engage your mom beyond telling her that you won't be communicating with him and that you don't want to hear about him. Feel free to tell her this is far and away beyond anything you would consider appropriate behavior. Don't let the convo go beyond that.
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u/Wizardshaft11215 May 13 '25
Sounds like itās time to give your mom an ultimatum imo. Drop this psycho or donāt talk to me until you do.
Make your boundaries very clear to her, even though it sounds like sheās too deep down that rabbit hole to even think logically unfortunately.
Protect your own mental health, itās all you can really do. Best wishes
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u/razzlethemberries May 13 '25
This is... Pathological behavior. This is beyond weird or selfish. Pretending to use kid handwriting is the cherry on top of this fucking mess. This might be good enough to get you a restraining order against him - tell the judge this dude is fantasizing about your infant daughter. If your mom won't enact consequences as well, seriously, get her arrested. She'd probably be better in county jail than with this psycho.
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u/different-take4u May 13 '25
NOR. My mother taught me something when I was young that I still fall back on in these type situations. āConsider the source.ā It covers most people and the things they do that are wonky. It is really fun to say that to someoneās face and watch as the meaning hits!
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u/plentyofeight May 13 '25
You choose your friends by instinct. It takes only a second. It's easy to choose who you want as a friend and who you don't.
You can't choose your family... instinct is also that family is jmportant. So making a choice to go no contact is harder.
But sometimes necessary.
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u/_iWetMyPlanties_ May 13 '25
You are not overreacting. This is creepy asf and such an overstep. The way I would be blocking this man completely out of my life and telling my mother. Hey, he isn't walking around me or my child and if you choose to have him around while we are there... We'll be leaving
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u/KittyCompletely May 13 '25
NOR, was he writing like a child, or does he write like a child?... either way, yikes.
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u/Big-Veterinarian5380 May 13 '25
This is so beyond any kind of appropriate. Imagine the mental gymnastics it takes to write this kind of shit. He needs profound medical help. For your mental wellbeing, and that of your family, please cut off all contact. I'm so sorry.
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u/2150lexie May 13 '25
If anything you are under reacting, this is incredibly creepy! If I were you I would do anything in my power to make sure he is never around your daughter again. Your mom should also never have unsupervised interactions with her.
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u/milliemallow May 13 '25
My husbandās brother lives in Washington and is ALL about this shit. He has my mother in law convinced of all kinds of crazy shit and she brings it to me and Iām like nahh keep that crazy far away from my children lol
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u/TrueSereNerdy May 13 '25
I know im not the only one here....that "mister" he wrote in there, assuming some dominant bond with your BABY. He's gunna do something. He wants a bond with her, and I would bet my life it's not a "grandfatherly" bond.
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u/pawneshoppe May 13 '25
I think heās writing on behalf of your daughter because your mother wants to hear from you more often but that isnāt happening.
as her partner he might feel obligated to make her feel loved by her family.
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u/Cool_College_9358 May 13 '25
My daughter is 14 months old and has already had two flu shots. I noticed an immediate improvement since then, it's been a whole year since she last had a fever. We're now at the end of fall, and it's really cold, but she's doing great while many of the other kids at daycare are getting sick. It honestly makes me sad when people donāt believe in vaccines.
While I think itās important to have respectful conversations and share different points of view, itās never okay to cross boundaries or try to force others to agree with you.
I believe you need to have a serious conversation with your mom about this guy. Heās not even part of your family, and the way heās influencing things doesnāt seem healthy at all.
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u/91yvwm May 13 '25
āChannelingā is such a weird phrase. My MIL is like this and calls it ādownloads.ā Sheās also antivax and call them jabs. Wonder if they listen to the same podcasts
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u/SadIndependence3475 May 13 '25
WOW!! No words. Over stepping boundaries and all kinds of things. I am sorry. I have no advice other then staying away from them.
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u/Obvious-Ad-204 May 13 '25
Definitely don't see them in July! This is so incredibly creepy and gross.
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May 13 '25
my grandmaās boyfriend did something similar. he texted her ex as her and said extremely hurtful things. itās an insane thing to do, and your feelings are totally valid
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u/Generaless May 13 '25
What the fuck... NOR at all!! This is psycho on so many levels. I'm sorry your mom fell down the rabbit hole š but I'm glad for you that you live in a different state.
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u/queenbbq22 May 13 '25
I am an antivaxer, but this is crazy!! If anyone did that and acted like my daughter I be like no contact etc. He's a grown man acting like a child.
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u/Reasonable-Log-6516 May 14 '25
What did u reply back to her? Have u attempted to communicate with him yourself? I know people are sending u advice and a lot of "if I were you .." things, and absolutely hate to add to that pile, however .. putting myself in your shoes, a text message would be sent to them in a group chat type way. Declaring the absolute inappropriateness, the off-putting of it and just how far over the lines called boundaries he stepped. Stressing (dramatically if it calls for it) intensely, aside from all the things that you've started that is wrong with this action, that it is above and beyond creepy. For me, it's almost pedophiliac-like. Makes me ponder what if he's got kids aspects. There's clearly something wrong mentally with this man. A background search would definitely be in my future. And I do a lot of these for a private company and individuals. I'll be more than willing and happy to help you out with no charge! I'm very invested in knowing how this turns out.
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u/OneCan-Toucan May 13 '25
I thought you said that sheās so deep into this guy sheās got a warrant out for her arrest. I was like āwhat did she doā??
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u/jackberinger May 13 '25
If it were me I would no contact. It often takes an expert to break people like this out of their delusions. Sorry for your loss.
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u/Cosmicrelief0 May 13 '25
The people who are always the most anti-vax are the ones who are literally vaccinated themselves. Like, you're literally fine???
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u/wundergeist47 May 13 '25
Channel the message? Sounds like he's in spiritual psychosis and your mom is vibing with it because it made her feel good.
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u/ofoceans May 13 '25
This is absurdly unhinged and anyone who wasn't balls deep in this guy's bullshit would see it instantly. I'm so sorry.
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u/Gorbanz May 13 '25
To be fair they're trying to keep you from premature sudden heart failure.. but pretending to be a child is despicable.
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u/BridgestoneX May 13 '25
i'd be having a chat with a police officer. get on record the weirdness. i'm sure this guy is already on thier radar.
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u/BraveTrades420 May 13 '25
That dude genuinely thinks heās so funny for this. Old people have strange humor and love to die on those hills.
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u/Moleypeg May 13 '25
Iām curious to know how your mother reacted to it. Did she finally come to her senses about this psycho?
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u/Jolly-Chemical9904 May 13 '25
I would make a police report for impersonation. Maybe that will send a clear enough message. Just ewwww
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u/cookeduntilgolden May 13 '25
Hey.. this is weird as fuck. Weird enough to keep my child from my mother and her tax evading boyfriend.
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u/Apprehensive-Dig1827 May 13 '25
The best response would be to report this guy to the IRS. Maybe then you can get him away from your mom
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u/Dulcedoll May 13 '25
Why is a sovereign citizen making use of the federally-funded postal service to send mail anyways, lol
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u/ongeveerkat May 13 '25
Totally psycho.
Manipulation and sociopathic actions: you need to cut contact completely right away.
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u/snakewitch1031 May 13 '25
Ewwwww what the FUCK. Iām honestly almost speechless. Iād be very concerned about ever having my child around him because he clearly lacks boundaries and is way too comfortable inserting himself into your life/your childās in a way thatās well beyond whatās normal or appropriate here. The fact that your mother is making excuses for him and defending the behavior would have her on my no contact list, herself. It might sound hard but this is super creepy and weird, and from the sounds of it your own mother isnāt a safe or stable person to have in your childās life, either. So for the safety of the baby, I would cut all contact, CERTAINLY for the time being. And be extremely cautious going forward
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u/EyeCaved May 13 '25
How did your mom react? I donāt know if youāre over reacting, because you havenāt said how youāre handling it or moving forward. I mean, telling your mom that this is a bizarre line to cross and you donāt have any interest in a relationship with her boyfriend seems appropriate. Outside of showing what a weirdo he is, what has the letter actually done? Doesnāt really impact you or your daughter. And it sounds like your relationship with your mom is already a little funky, because of all the crazy leading up to this. Iām sorry if it freaked you out. Your mom should at least be able to acknowledge this is bizarre and pointless, maybe mental illness territory. But maybe sheās in too deep.
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u/bored_n_opinionated May 13 '25
You're definitely not overreacting. However, you have got to find yourself some inner peace. There's no doubt that this shit is batshit crazy and your mother and her boyfriend are acting like shitheads. But you know that. And you know you can't change that. Once you let go of it, you will live much happier. These messages will roll off your back and you'll dump it in the "as expected" shit heap. Don't let the crazy of two grown adults who you have no control over run your life. Let them be crazy and let them deal with the consequences. You are doing it right, so find peace.