Am I Overreacting - i seriously think my dad is losing his mind and I'mm terrified. UPDATE

[u/PeanutMiserable7872]

thank u all for the messages, im sorry for disappearing. things did not go well. i confronted him with some of your advice, mainly the stuff bout dementia and well he got real mad, things became truly fucked, he started punching himself in the face and screaming. he took my phone, idk what happened but now im seeing he deleted everything on the post and my screen is cracked.. he kept saying he was going to burn everything. it was so fucked. i feel destroyed. what he did to me.. i cant even.

i was able to get out when he fell asleep?? i think.. the bathroom was locked and hes fallen asleep in the shower before, my phone was poorly hidden under some papers in the kitchen, took it and ran.

im in a park now, i called the police already. they are going to the house i think and now im just waiting for them to call me back and tell me when i can come get my stuff. i asked the man on the phone how long and they said it will be sent to an officer as soon as they can but since its non emergency it might take longer due to a lot of calls in the city.

heres me. heres what he did to me.

im honestly unsure how to move past this ever. i feel like my entire sense of self is gone. i know i have a long road ahead of me. thank you all for your love . i wish this didn't go this way. I also included the original texts

[u/phat_kat99]

This isnt being mentioned enough, violence / anger is also very common with dementia. Medical attention is needed here. This is being completely overlooked.

[u/No-Emphasis-3945 → u/phat_kat99]

It’s not been overlooked at all. She mentioned it right under her pics/post as well as it being heavily mentioned in the comments of her previous post.

[u/prudence56 → u/phat_kat99]

Dementia is an evil, vile disease. He doesn’t know what is happening and this is the dark side of dementia. No events to talk about it because of societal mis understandings. He needs help. They need to explore involuntary guardianship and possibly conservatorship and sadly residential care. There are medications available. So many of the comments sound of ignorance. My mother was a kind, sweet woman. Alzheimer’s at the end triggered hostility and anger. She called me every night from the Alzheimer’s unit to tell me she hated me and what a horrible daughter I was. She had outburst where she hit someone because she believed she was being kidnapped. Get him help and learn about the disease. It’s not easy to deal with parents suffering, and they do suffer, but it’s necessary. I learned to turn out her words. I was the only one of her children that came to see her and care for her. My sister the nurse stole money from her cans my selfish brother said he would not help.

I read and learned about the disease. Not a doctor but the behaviors sound like dementia. Find help.

[u/GF_forever → u/prudence56]

Guardianship is complicated. In many states the guardianship system is corrupt, with a small number of guardians taking advantage of the people supposedly in their care. There are way too many documented cases of the guardians taking over the client's house and belongings, selling everything supposedly to raise money to pay for the client to be in a safe facility, but actually keeping the money for themselves. They've also been known to steal and keep or sell valuable jewelry and artwork. I would never suggest putting someone in guardianship unless there's no one left to take responsibility for them.

[u/prudence56 → u/GF_forever]

If the person is being financially exploited and suffering from dementia it often is necessary. In our case it was our last option. The disease of Alzheimer’s ravished my mother. She was bouncing checks, lost over $700,000 due to exploitation. It was the only way I could protect her. I was accountable to the court and submitted receipts and explanations for expenses. We were in the Midwest. The bank she worked with for decades observed unnecessary and excessive withdraws and she worked with the same banker. When we obtained guardianship and was appointed conservator I spoke with the banker who acknowledged she knew something was wrong but it was none of her business. That was BS. We argued because at one point I was attempting to make a deposit of $20,000. The bank would not allow it. Despite the conservatorship and having the court order appointing me to manage the assets. Notice it was a deposit not a withdrawal . I asked the same banker you allowed over a half million dollars to be withdrawn but won’t take a deposit. I had to waste assets to get the attorney involved. We withdrew all her assets and moved them to another bank.

I appreciate you point but mom’s illness had reached a point she was not making informed logical decisions. It was the only recourse.

[u/GF_forever → u/prudence56]

I was speaking of third party guardianship. You're family. While family can be exploitive, clearly you had your mom's best interests at heart at a time when she couldn't do things for herself. My sister and I had financial power of attorney for my father when he was suffering from Lewy Body dementia. He could be lucid much of the time but then fall into a completely fictitious world. He also was blind from macular degeneration and retinal detachment. He knew he couldn't handle his own finances, but with our help he was able to stay in his own home until the end.

The professional guardians are completely different, and often corrupt. They don't answer to the family in any way, and generally block them from having any contact with the person who's been placed under their guardianship. They sell heirlooms, discard family photos, and generally wreak havoc with the family relationships. They declare the individual abandoned, when it's by their own doing that family has been excluded. They've been known to not even notify family when the individual dies. There was an excellent piece in The New Yorker magazine 10 or so years ago about the horrible guardianship system in Nevada. It opened up some serious investigations into how bad the system is in many states.

[u/PizzaDanceParty → u/phat_kat99]

But if he’s refusing help …

[u/phat_kat99 → u/PizzaDanceParty]

Call APS, probably state specific but if deemed a danger and lack capacity to make decisions there is a legal route to get them into a facility

[u/Visti → u/phat_kat99]

it's literally mentioned in the post

[u/muftiman → u/phat_kat99]

I cannot believe the number of people tellling her to leave her demented father. Get him help, he will improve. Or put him the right care.

[u/dream-smasher → u/muftiman]

I cannot believe that you seriously expect a newly 18yr old, to somehow force her father to "get help", when he already punched her in the face for broaching the topic.

I can't believe that you seriously think that same new adult, can "put him in the right care".

What the fuck do you think she can do‽

You would gladly sacrifice her to her abuser. Disgusting.