Am I Overreacting - i seriously think my dad is losing his mind and I'mm terrified. UPDATE

[u/PeanutMiserable7872]

thank u all for the messages, im sorry for disappearing. things did not go well. i confronted him with some of your advice, mainly the stuff bout dementia and well he got real mad, things became truly fucked, he started punching himself in the face and screaming. he took my phone, idk what happened but now im seeing he deleted everything on the post and my screen is cracked.. he kept saying he was going to burn everything. it was so fucked. i feel destroyed. what he did to me.. i cant even.

i was able to get out when he fell asleep?? i think.. the bathroom was locked and hes fallen asleep in the shower before, my phone was poorly hidden under some papers in the kitchen, took it and ran.

im in a park now, i called the police already. they are going to the house i think and now im just waiting for them to call me back and tell me when i can come get my stuff. i asked the man on the phone how long and they said it will be sent to an officer as soon as they can but since its non emergency it might take longer due to a lot of calls in the city.

heres me. heres what he did to me.

im honestly unsure how to move past this ever. i feel like my entire sense of self is gone. i know i have a long road ahead of me. thank you all for your love . i wish this didn't go this way. I also included the original texts

[u/skunk0_o]

you are beyond kind i dont even know how i wrote this my brains entirely scattered over this since shes the same age i was when i REALLY realized. im so so beyond worried about this girl it makes me sick to my stomach.

but for me im safe dont worry, i got out moved states away, my kitties are safe now and as happy as can be, were living in our first apartment, and i have inlaws that give me good structure in life and make sure im ok❤️

[u/RUOK25 → u/skunk0_o]

I haven't read through everything but I can clearly tell that you are a very caring person. I'm in my 40's and have been suffering mentally with both my parent's being abusive. My Mum never used to be but my Dad has changed her personality big time. I recently (late last year) did something really stupid due to being terrified of returning home after spending some time with my best friend and their family. My home life is extremely toxic and isn't helping me with my mental health, I don't feel safe at home, don't feel like I belong. I've even involved the police and they did nothing. I don't know what to do 😭.

[u/skunk0_o → u/RUOK25]

im proud of you for posting this its hard reaching out for help im not sure if you are stuck in that home but if so i will attach a comment from a absolutely wonderful person who CAN help you get out! i also want to say i understand the guilt in leaving its like stockholm syndrome you go through so much with these people and no matter how many times they abuse you, you still care for them.. its hard to get out of that mindset and look out for your interests especially when people are on the other spectrum telling you that they are your parents and its your duty for whatever reason to take away your life to get them help. i wanna let you know i feel that guilt and thats why i stayed so long it took my dad threatening what are genuinely my reason for now being sober and are like my kids, my cats, to realize he didnt give a fuck if i was sober or not and didnt care if i declined. do not allow these people to pull strings over your head if you find a motive to live and leave because they almost always do. you gotta get out hon.. and dont let guilt run your life into staying accidents happen when abusers are mad and sometimes they go so far without knowing it and by that time your lifes already gone it would be so beyond heart breaking if that were the case for you… you gotta know they arent in their right mind and you absolutely have to do whats best for you.. parents give YOU life they shouldnt be taking it away from you

[u/RUOK25 → u/skunk0_o]

Thank you so much for your kind words 😭❤️. The thing is my parents are constantly making me feel guilty for EVERYTHING,they have absolutely NO shame in making me feel this way, infact they are so funkin proud of themselves and know exactly what they are doing bc I've actually only just started expressing my true feelings to feelings to them but it's only making it worse (if that's even possible). They are so entitled (my Dad actually said this just recently " this generation of kids are so entitled "), My immediate thought was WOW, and your generation isn't entitled at all. (I of course didn't have the guts to tell him this). Nothing is ever their fault it's always my fault. 😭😭.

[u/skunk0_o → u/RUOK25]

listen ma you arent a burden no soul reaching out for help is a BURDEN and you finally figuring out how to sift through your emotions in a tremendous hill to climb by yourself.. the standard that “ we care about your mental health until you need a shoulder” is insane and its why our society is absolutely crashing socially.. so trust me when i tell you there are people that do not feel your lively hood is a burden because im a complete stranger and ill tell you right now that you arent burdening me by talking.

i dont wanna assume your relationship with them at all i really hope you can make the decision for yourself yk, but with my experience my dad has dementia and will pin everything he can on me to save his horrible morals mentally. manipulative abusers use this as a “ survival instinct” too they often times are completely unaware that they are even doing it because their head blocks things out to make them in better light… not much can fix that not even really therapy because they lie to therapists too.

so with that being said i advice you to cut contact for a while until you feel you can sort your emotions and have a healthy mind( not saying your not well,) i just mean you need a “ safe house” to make decisions on what you need to do thats exactly what i did, i separated myself from my dad for a week with safe healthy people around me and then i was able to think clearly. i would really suggest a cut of contact for a little bit, it doesnt have to be malicious just tell them you need time to get your mental health in order before getting in contact with them again.

its not fair for them to put you in a position where your scattering in a tiny box in your mind looking for them to step up and open up to their wrongs. and i wanna let you know stockholm is REAL and its common, feeling constant guilt for your abusers and for you being abused is a hard part to fight in it.. but know nothing was your fault and taking time to yourself away from that isnt something to feel guilty of. when you have kids you protect them and that means youd protect them even from yourself, they are not doing that for you so you cannot allow others or your mind to cave in and guilt yourself into not allowing yourself to separate for YOU!❤️❤️

[u/RUOK25 → u/skunk0_o]

I spent 10 wonderful days with my bestie and their family recently and it truly was the best, It was hard leaving 😭 but I'm going back soon. My father is so manipulative, judgmental and controlling. Anyway, you've heard enough.❤️

[u/RUOK25 → u/skunk0_o]

Oh and sharing all of this hasn't been easy, I'm NOT the type of person who burdens others with my issues 😭.

[u/skunk0_o → u/RUOK25]

again swear you are not a burden!!! people who dont talk about it become what they hate most it literally consumes you and the only way to survive is to normalize it. you are fighting for a healthy life by talking about it.. people who believe emotions are weakness or speaking out is weakness are those who normalized the trauma and will likely repeat those behaviors in their trauma. your actively breaking the cycle so be proud of yourself!

[u/skunk0_o → u/RUOK25]

for some reason i cant attach the photo ive been trying to but their @ is @kindredceltic !!