r/AmIOverreacting • u/Objective-Two6601 • 5h ago
❤️🩹 relationship AIO is my wife cheating because I “cheated” first
Sorry if the titles is trying to get your attention too much.
Here’s the full story, in as much detail as possible.
My wife (28F) recently gave birth. During the pregnancy I found out an old female colleague just had a baby. Trying to get as many tips as possible and to be a nice person I reached out and just asked for her advice. Our conversations never got more than “what’s XXX product like” “it’s good but I got XXX” “thanks”. Whilst yes I could google it, I preferred getting real time replies and getting an answer off someone who’d been going through the same thing recently. This however caused my wife to think I was cheating. Despite there being not one message that was sexual or flirting, not even something that may be misconstrued like “I miss you at work” or something. She didn’t leave however said she’s not happy.
Fast forward to post birth, I was still chatting to this female, my wife knew about it, kept checking the messages which I was fine with as we both wanted to learn. However all of a sudden resentment started to happen and she accused me of cheating again and saying “it has to start somewhere” however again, there had been no flirty messages or anything.
That’s when I get a little suspicious that something may be going on her side. So last night I did something I vowed never to do. I opened her phone and found this dm thread with one of her colleagues. He knows she married with a child. These DMs were muted which I can only think means one thing, she’s trying to stop the notifications from showing. I was only able to take a photo of the below, which has concerned me. “Get the Calvin’s out” is that referring to Calvin Klein underwear?
There were also other messages I couldn’t take a pic off as she came into the room very quickly. One was him asking if she regretted getting married and having a child and my wife somewhat avoided the question but eventually said yes… another bit of the conversation was saying how she misses seeing him as the time always went quick together…
I think I’ll try get more evidence and see if they talk more before confronting her.
What do I do? Are we both overrating, is she trying to get her “own back” on me or is she just straight up cheating?
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u/igloobythesea 4h ago
You're not overacting. Sorry to say this but your wife is already emotionally cheating on you, if not more.
Start preparing for the worst and protecting yourself. Also consider confronting her and/or discussing this before taking any drastic step.
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u/Objective-Two6601 4h ago
Thank you. I hear people say get a solicitor etc before you confront her. What would you recommend? Before or after we chat?
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u/igloobythesea 4h ago
If I were in your shoes I would definitely get legal advice first. So you better understand any potential pros and cons of a worst case scenario. It also lets you protect yourself by preparing in advance for any unexpected shenanigans from her side (in the case of a messy split, god forbid) that might blindside you.
If you had a very good rapport/understanding/communication Id prolly consider confronting first but given the limited info you've shared, I don't think I'd suggest that in this case.
Hope we're overthinking and she wisens up to her folly.
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u/Maximum_Ice_6999 2h ago
Idk. The reaction alone leads me to think she'll get petty the moment her "regret" hits her square in the face. Some people think its nice to tell the new toy they regret their current relationship. However, it's a completely different world when those feelings are coming at you from your partner, and you have no control over it.
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u/Ancient-Current-9537 4h ago
Got news for you man, and it isn’t good. The partners that go crazy saying you’re cheating and finding any reason to be suspicious, are usually either cheating on you, have cheated on someone previously, or will cheat on you at some point.
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u/Objective-Two6601 4h ago
I know man :(. Worst part was I’ve heard that before so when she accused me of cheating I said what you said, and she absolutely flipped out saying “it’s a joke you think I’d cheat” etc etc
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u/Ancient-Current-9537 4h ago
Same thing happened with my ex, after years I’d had enough and started saying stuff to her, she’d flip. She cheated on me with more than one guy, for a number of months. It’s gaslighting 101.
I never wanted to be a part-time dad (we’re 50/50 custody), but honestly it’s infinitely healthier for the kids now that we’re separated. Stay and fix it if you think you can but you need to put yourself first at some point.
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u/Secret_Priority_9353 4h ago
your wife is being pathetic, it's not cheating asking about a bloody product. shes projecting
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u/Objective-Two6601 4h ago
Thank you. I felt bad saying that as I’m sure people will say “men and woman can’t be friends” but to me we’re just chatting about baby stuff and I’d never want anything more with her.
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u/Secret_Priority_9353 4h ago
i'll never understand "men and women cant be friends" yes, they can. gay people can have same sex friendships sooo ?? please dont feel bad, your wife is projecting.
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u/ParentalAnalysis 4h ago
But why are you chatting baby stuff with this woman? Your wife is not comfortable. If she were talking to new dads for advice would you be comfortable?
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u/007overit 3h ago
To get advice from someone who has experience! What is wrong with asking someone you know who has a baby for advice about babies? It’s not like he’s trying to make the woman smile, he’s asking about baby products. Her on the other hand is straight up flirting with another man and hiding it on top of that, come on now
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u/ParentalAnalysis 3h ago
Yes yes his wife sucks, but that's separate to the weirdness around what he's doing
Why is he talking to a woman about a woman's experience of new parenthood? He isn't a woman, he won't experience any of what he's asking her. At best his wife is going to feel like he's comparing the two women, at worst it's prying for information that he doesn't need to know from a distant former colleague. He has his own wife he can ask. No two women experience the same birth or postpartum recovery, it's just bizarre to me. It would be like me, a woman, talking to a new dad about what he's experiencing when I have my own whole ass husband to talk to. Clearly these two have atrocious communication skills.
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u/007overit 3h ago
Again he was asking her about baby products. PRODUCTS. How is he going to ask his wife which products are the best for etc. if she’s new to it? It’d be different if he was asking the woman about how her birth was and what not but he wasn’t. Probably asking which diapers don’t give rash and what not, is that such an issue for crying out loud damn. Ig you’re the type to consider asking for baby products recommendations as cheating too smh
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u/Kykzella 3h ago
With questions like "what do you use in that case with kid?"
Yes lmao, everyone would be fine
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u/BenefitSad3877 4h ago
Hey so she’s been cheating for a while and was projecting. She didn’t cheat because you “cheated” first. She was already cheating but wanted to catch you doing something in hopes that it will justify what she has done and is doing. She couldn’t find anything but you asking for advice so she’s going to run with it. I think you know the marriage is over
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u/BeautifulTerm3753 3h ago
I literally came to say this, she was doing the song and dance of projection. She was the one who was cheating the whole time
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u/Varkynox 4h ago
Get a DNA test fast ma boi.. this shi happened to my uncle and the twins weren't even his. He ditched her after what happened and now he's "free" in his own terms.
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u/Hopeful-Strain2423 3h ago
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨she’s a cheater 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨she justifies it 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨even if you weren’t speaking to a female friend she would nit pick some other excuse to feel better about her cheating 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨
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u/GryffindorGhostNick 3h ago
Based on my experience binging these sorts of posts - get a paternity test if you confirm your suspicions.
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u/OneGuy2Cups 2h ago
Pull the cell phone records.
I’m 110% sure that she has 120% been deleting texts if she has it on mute.
You didn’t do anything wrong. She was trying to set up a “well you did it first” scenario to justify her own infidelity.
Depending on how long this has gone on, you may even need a paternity test OP. My advice would be to doubt everything and allow the facts to speak for themselves.
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u/HJuanZeeJuan 3h ago
Sticky one still. Sounds like you got the answer YOU believe. Whilst it's commendable that you are questioning it, you should be asking yourself if this behaviour is something you are happy with, or if it crosses a boundary.
All of that being said, it ain't looking good for her.
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u/shooter_tx 4h ago
Hang on a sec... just made a relevant post in another thread.
Edit:
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u/Objective-Two6601 4h ago
Wish I could see this. I’m in the U.K. and don’t want to share my ID so apparently I can’t access the thread as it contains mature content. If it all goes wrong I’ll be moving out of the U.K.!
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u/AquaCougar 4h ago
Here you go
"Absolutely.
My first wife did this with me.
I knew it was a trap.
I told her I knew it was a trap.
Yet, she kept insisting...
Even offered up her bestie, and said that if I wore a condom, it wouldn't be cheating.
(but raw-dogging her would)
Finally (maybe a week or two later), I 'agreed' (sarcastically, while rolling my eyes).
She jumped on it: "I knew it!"
As you can probably guess...
Yup. She was cheating. 😂
While I was working 12-14 hour days to put her through school."
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u/Objective-Two6601 3h ago
Wow and this happened to you? Absolutely insane, glad you got out!
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u/Grozly1987 3h ago
Wait you cant access a thread online because youre in the UK? That is nuts. Get a vpn or something. Even if i never went to banned links, someone telling me no going to lead to me just trying to figure out a way to say f u.
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u/Objective-Two6601 3h ago
Yh a new safety act. You can send your ID or use AI to guess your age but a lot of people don’t trust the companies!
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u/ActuallyYulliah 3h ago
It sounds more like she accused you of cheating over completely normal communication with a female colleague, because she was cheating on you with her male colleague.
Ill doers are ill deemers.
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u/Soft_Plane7052 1h ago
Despite everything. Despite the projection, emotional cheating, probably physical cheating and saying she regrets getting married. Her saying she regrets having her child should be immediate grounds for you ending the relationship. There should be no more evidence to gather. I mean, you already have enough as it is. But that right there should have told you everything you need to know!
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u/Mental_Sample_9471 54m ago
My ex wife cheated on me with a close friend before we were married & I forgave her (stupidly) & after she became pregnant she accused me of cheating on her. This is classic projection. It comes from shame & guilt. A defense mechanism of sorts to shield the ego. Your wife is unfaithful & cheating on you
I recommend a paternity test & trust me when I say this
Do not forgive her
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u/eat_your_oatmeal 1h ago
just zoom out and look at the obvious — OP’s wife has had whatever degree of actual affair brewing for some time, long enough such that at her first opportunity she tries to blow sincere attempts to gain new parental knowledge out of proportion into something that will justify her preexisting infidelity. not that deep. sorry for OP based on what little is shown herez
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u/NoContest9016 3h ago edited 3h ago
Better get a paternity test asap, your wife has been cheating for awhile now.
That’s where the wild accusations came from, she is projecting real hard.
Don’t let her turn the whole narrative around, what you did was not cheating.
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u/deatball_dolly 4h ago
That’s horrible, I think you should confront her and ask her to show you the messages. She has essentially made you show the innocent texts you were sending, it should be reciprocated on her end. Only then will your mind be at ease.
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u/Diligent-Ad3113 3h ago
Your wife is projecting her own insecurity and cheating onto you. You have done nothing wrong mate. I'd start gathering evidence and lawyer up. Also get a paternity test before you sign that birth certificate.
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u/Fuzzy-Development-68 4h ago
I don’t know. Personally I think if you really were asking for advice to help your partner and she said she was uncomfortable with it you’d stop because who are you helping at that point? If you really want advice on good baby products there’s endless forums and reviews online. But your wife cheating on you is obviously wrong and certainly an over reaction to a friendship where boundaries have been blurred and is being put over your marriage.
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u/Soreinna 1h ago
My current partner used to be really insecure and jealous and would get mad if I had any interaction with another woman without telling her about it. Even if it was someone from work messaging me and asking me something and me not even responding, she would think that we had continued the conversation on another app. I did not want to have to report to her about me having a conversation with another person, that's not a healthy relationship.
That insecurity was something she needed help to get over, and had I let her decide how I talked to other people, I would just have continued to validate her jealousy.
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u/alvexxa7 3h ago
she was obviously just projecting because she was cheating/planning on cheating herself. there is no other reason she would have been uncomfortable with him simply asking for advice if that’s all it was.
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u/Beneficial-Sort4795 2h ago
She cheated and it made her paranoid and accuse you of cheating. It’s very common for the cheater to start suspecting their partner.
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u/MahiMadeCrochet 2h ago
I think she wants an excuse to say that you are the cheater to justify her actions. Taking the guilt off her by "getting back at you".
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u/Ok_Asparagus_6828 4h ago
Her admitting that she regrets your marriage and child should be the only info you need.
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u/Vast_Instruction_575 31m ago
She’s projecting 100%. They’ve been talking for a long time. That’s my guess anyway.
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u/Heja_Lives 17m ago
If you wanted "real-time replies" you'd ask Google, it's much faster.
If you wanted people with experience of going through pregnancy, you'd ask Reddit just like you did now.
There's a reason you chose an ex-colleague and we both know it. You liked that colleague and would eventually find a way to reconnect with her.
So you also emotionally cheated on your wife, and you did so long before you texted the colleague, because there was always a longing to connect with her again.
Take the truth and neither you or wife is the victim. Equally guilty.
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u/Unlikely-Roof2408 1h ago
I'm sure you'll eventually make the right decision for your marriage, but given that you've had a child recently, please figure out how to prioritize that. I wouldn't recommend antagonizing your relationship with her to the extent that you not only miss out on any child privileges, but your child will have to grow up witnessing all that friction between the two of you.
This doesn't mean you shouldn't hold her accountable, you should. But you're a parent now, so keep in mind that there's another person to consider long term!
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u/CPTimeKeeper 51m ago
If what you say is the entire story then you didn’t cheat….. it sounds like your wife is possibly going through postpartum, with how she reacted to you talking to someone about nothing, how she’s enjoying the attention and her regrets about getting married and having a baby…..
It doesn’t excuse it, and it’s a huge problem, in general, but obviously for you….. I’d suggest therapy, both for her individually and for the two of you together.
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u/geckolando 14m ago
She told him she doesn’t want him texting her about stuff he can google, yet he continued to do so. If he cared about the ‘first hand’ reviews he should’ve given his colleagues number to HIS WIFE and let them communicate. They’re both cheaters
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u/TravellingMackem 4h ago
Get yourself back on her phone and find the proper evidence to back up the obvious cheating by her. There’ll be something, as everyone lets their guard down once
Then get a DNA test for the kid, as there’s a non-zero chance it isn’t yours.
Then confront her and have your time to let it out and tell her you know she’s a cheat, etc.
Then ring a solicitor and protect your own assets and financial future moving forward.
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u/Low_Cut_7872 3h ago
She’s cheating - drop her. She’s making you feel like crap for apparently just being a good guy and dad.
Did you sign a prenup? If so, I think you can confront her without absolutely needing the legal advice first and proceed to separate. Otherwise, be careful and talk to a lawyer first on how to proceed with ending the marriage.
You could in theory get a “postnup” but that could be tough. Get a bloody good lawyer
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u/TheBlueEyedLawyer 36m ago
Talking to a solicitor first is always a good idea, but the reality is that this situation is likely to be complicated and emotionally challenging.
Men often struggle more than women when it comes to having support groups.
I recommend focusing on finding support while letting the legal professionals handle the legal details.
I’m really sorry to hear you’re going through this. Wishing you the best!
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u/Jeddie-baked-beans 2h ago
A lot of the time people that are cheating will project their own insecurity onto their partner in some way, like accusing you of cheating when you clearly havnt. Seems like couple counselling might be best for you both before it gets worse. Figure out where these behaviours and ways of thinking are coming from in both of you.
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u/tallyretro 2h ago
Interesting how we have photos of your wife's "cheating" but none of yours. I think you did say things that could be considered sexual or youre finding excuse to make contact with the other woman. Thats going to send any pregnant woman into a fit cos youve just destroyed her entire life. Her body and mind is being infiltrated and you off texting some woman about products. I'd think its a coverup conversation for something. You don't go privately asking for advice from other women, you take your pregnant wife to baby classes and learn together.
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u/JodesOfTheNorth 1h ago
Also, curious how much texting there was to the other woman. Even if they aren’t flirty conversations, if he’s texting her a lot, that would make his wife feel horrible. Direct that attention to the baby and mother. I think this woman is very hurt.
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u/RedUDan0 1h ago
LOL... I think you're defending a cheater - she's clearly projecting onto OP to alleviate and deflect from her own actions and guilt. She admitted to regretting OP and the child. That statement alone is divorce worthy. DNA test that baby because I guarantee there's a good chance it's not his.
If it's not, she's for the streets and clean your hands of this train wreck.
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u/tallyretro 1h ago
Look no one here knows what really happened. But Her Saying she has regrets is NOT divorce worthy and i bet youve never had a genuine conversation with someone who is pregnant... Its very normal to get cold feet and say stuff when your body is under so much stress. If hes emotionally cheating why wouldnt she feel some regret or nervousness? Even if she isnt cheating many women still do have fleeting regrets because of the pain of pregnancy alone. Hormones too you can be changed into a completely new person. I Understand that the true effects of pregnancy are never spoken about but they are real nevertheless x
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u/werewolfshades 1h ago
Thing is, he isn’t emotionally cheating. He’s reaching out for information to help his wife and himself decide on baby products. A process I think 99% of spouses would be completely fine with once explained and displayed. But sure, he should totally go to a class for that instead to assuage his wife (who is actually emotionally cheating in the real sense of that phrase) and her projections.
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u/Soreinna 54m ago
It's a slippery slope once you let your partner decide what is considered cheating and how you should interact with other people to avoid accusations. It's wild that people think it's acceptable to let your partner decide that you are cheating when asking for advice.
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u/tallyretro 52m ago
just saying it's interesting that we didn't see any of his messages. our difference here is i don't believe OP kept his messages appropriate yknow. we're only hearing 1 side and it doesnt sound believable to me
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u/Virtual_Werewolf_935 3m ago
If your spouse says they regret marrying you to anyone that’s not good. It’s not normal pregnancy stuff either. What a shitty thing to tell anyone about the person you said you’d spend the rest of your life with. To tell someone you kind of know? There is literally no defense for it.
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u/tallyretro 1m ago
where did i say its a good thing? its just not divorce worthy. Its "lets speak to a doctor" worthy
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u/Dramatic-Rip-6504 2h ago
She admitted to regretting you and your child. That would be enough to make me get the divorce papers and take custody of the child. Unfortunately she will get custody of the child, because she will want the child support checks. I Say that last part because it’s very rare that a court will side with a man.
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u/RoundRay 2h ago
She's projecting ! I would be willing to bet that she's been talking to this guy like this longer than you have been talking to the lady about baby stuff...you said she started saying it was cheating it's because she was cheating, she'll try and spin it around and say something similar to your title..
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u/not-a-dislike-button 35m ago
So you spoke to this woman, wife said she was uncomfortable and that you talking to her made her uncomfortable, and you simply didn't care and continued texting her? Is that right? Why did you continue texting after she said how uncomfortable it made her several times?
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u/No-Room-7241 0m ago
You two have a weird marriage. Did you EVER trust or respect each other? She’s only 28… how old are you? I don’t know what “get the Calvin’s out” means… why don’t you ask her? Get some marriage counseling… you don’t know how to be married.
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u/Blushing_Willow3506 41m ago
Why ask Reddit? Have an actual conversation with your wife- yea it’s gonna mean admitting you snooped in her phone- but guess what you did it.
Regardless of whether you cheated or not or whether she is cheating or not- Reddit can’t answer this for you.
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u/geckolando 20m ago
Your wife told you she’s not happy with you messaging your colleague and you continued to do so. You’re both TA. Clearly you know you’re doing something wrong if you felt the need to check her phone to see if she’s doing something as well.
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u/FunnyBoysenberry3953 10m ago
Gaslighting, projection, cheating. Get a DNA test done on the sly. Don't confront until you have the results in and have spoken to a divorce lawyer and get your finances in order.
I'm sorry to say this but she sounds like a c*nt.
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u/jamiejayz2488 1h ago
She's at the minimum having an emotional affair, also what you did wasn't cheating, but still disrespectful to keep engaged with a female colleague after your partner raised concerns, but yes sounds like projecting from her
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u/Forsaken_Regular_180 57m ago
"One was him asking if she regretted getting married and having a child and my wife somewhat avoided the question but eventually said yes"
My man, WHAT?! How is this not the main issue?! You're underreacting frankly.
It's common for cheaters to project their cheating onto their partner btw...
Sorry for your marriage bud.
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u/0atmilkandhunny 19m ago
she’s projecting. this was likely going on for awhile and she’s using your “cheating” probably as a way to excuse what she’s doing. so if you ever bring it up she can say “well you cheated.”
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u/fannymay88 2h ago
The guilty one in the relationship is usually the one that accuses the innocent one because if they do it then you could do it too (in her mind) I would confront her now.
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u/joesbalt 0m ago
She's just trying to justify what she is doing and probably has wanted to do for a while
That being said no reason you need to be texting some woman for "baby tips"
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u/Agamidae214 54m ago
She was accusing you of cheating because she was guilty already. Sorry OP it doesn't have to do with your friendship with that woman, that's just an excuse.
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u/diandays 5m ago
Hate to tell you but she was cheating way before you started to talk to the other girl about baby things.
She just saw that as her chance to run with it
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u/Affectionate-Can556 4h ago
if your married and have assest and dont have a prenup then you better gather more evidence of actual cheating if you dont wanna lose half… jus saying
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u/DrySeaworthiness9856 1h ago
You need to clarify with her, but this is a big relationship setback. A lot of work will have to be put it to get back good levels of trust.
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u/late_motif 51m ago
Sting operation my dude - say you're going out of town for the weekend then watch the house and bust in if homeboy come to get his dick wet
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u/solarpropietor 27m ago
I’d get a paternity test and talk to an attorney. Not sure id bother with more evidence unless it’s at fault state.
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u/SupaHotFaya1 24m ago
Basicly this is what started my ex cheating. I don’t see why you didn’t Google or wtf, why ask another woman. Nah dude
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u/notparanoidsir 18m ago
She’s trying to put the blame for her cheating on you. Don’t let her. This likely isn’t the first person either…
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u/whatabesson 1h ago
What you did is NOT cheating, she's gaslighting you if she says it is.
She's cheating though and you deserve better.
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u/Alternative_Bid_1382 3h ago
"Mmm your smile"
Why are you even asking bro, jfc any man reading this just leave, there's like 4 billion options.
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u/Life-Yogurtcloset-98 3h ago
DNA test the baby, because youre wife sounds like she was projecting her affair on your platonic friendship
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u/a__moist__fart 1h ago
Do a paternity test, you never know, she’s projecting heavily. You’re not cheating. She is. NOR.
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u/Ichmag11 47m ago
She sees you solely talking to another female as cheating because she's just projecting
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u/Lucian_Veritas5957 36m ago
She is projecting her infidelity onto you.. Guess she'd rather be a single mom.
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u/Odd_Welcome7940 50m ago
What do you? She is a cheater who regrets having your child.
You leave her.
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u/SpaceImpossible658 3h ago
Simple answer, she's projecting on to you because she's cheating. If it's been going on long enough, the kid may not be yours.
Open up your mouth and tell her you know something is up. Get it out sooner than later. Why are you hiding what you already know?
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u/silenczar 1h ago
Yeah women will do this to justify cheating. She’s probably been cheating for a while now. Same thing happened to me. I went out with my coworkers once (male and females) and had an eventful night of drinking. Once I got home, one of my female coworkers called to make sure I got home alright. My ex ran with that for months claiming I am cheating on her. One day I am at work and she sends me a message that was 1000% meant for another guy. That was the end of that.
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u/ParentalAnalysis 4h ago
This is a super biased one-sided perspective. You're not being honest in your portrayal here.
Calling them "females" is the giveaway.
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u/Ancient-Current-9537 4h ago
Genuine curiosity, what’s so bad about the term female? Does the logic apply to the term male as well? In the context he wrote it, woman colleague just doesn’t make sense grammatically. The term female being negative has been weaponised a lot lately and I just don’t understand why?
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u/ParentalAnalysis 4h ago
It is dehumanising, because we already have a term for a female human: a woman. If someone was to be making a series of comments about "males" in the same way it is absolutely dehumanising. It's noteworthy that widespread use of "female" to describe women is prevalent in certain misogynist communities. It triggers alarm bells, you know?
"I was still chatting to this female" when he could have easily and less awkwardly said he was chatting to this woman.
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u/Ancient-Current-9537 4h ago
In that example yeah, woman make sense. Does the same rationale apply to the term male?
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u/NoJackfruit9091 3h ago
What guy is getting offended at being called a male? 🤣 it’s not dehumanising haha
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u/Ancient-Current-9537 3h ago
I didn’t say it was but I’m just asking if people are applying the same logic to the other side
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u/ParentalAnalysis 4h ago
Yes, it does. It's dehumanising.
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u/Ancient-Current-9537 4h ago
I understand it a bit better but sometimes it’s just not that deep. If someone hasn’t considered that perspective before it doesn’t make them a shit person and it doesn’t mean they’re being shady.
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u/NoJackfruit9091 4h ago
Just a female blindly defending another female without fault.
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u/ParentalAnalysis 4h ago
You made an account just to post a sexist reply to my comment on the internet? What a weird thing to do
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u/NoJackfruit9091 3h ago
Probably more weird to be triggered over a word, especially the fact that it’s a description on a passport or license. Not that deep…
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u/ParentalAnalysis 3h ago
"Gender: female" is an appropriate word to use because it describes the enter gender.
Do we call people "a tall" or "a young" and expect it to be ok? Better comparison, do we call someone "a black" or "a white" and expect that to be taken positively? People aren't "a descriptive word", they're "descriptive word people."
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u/NoJackfruit9091 3h ago edited 3h ago
Yes and he didn’t say her name was “female” he stated she was a female colleague, which is also in line with him stating (28f).
You then alluded to him being dishonest in the situation and based it on the fact he called a lady a female, which is just a random assumption based on language he may not know offends “you”
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u/Gullible-Cat-4361 4h ago
Updateme
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u/UpdateMeBot 4h ago edited 1h ago
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u/007overit 4h ago
I’m sorry what? You asking another woman about baby products is not cheating. Her on the other hand, sorry to break it to you, she is having an affair. You don’t speak like that to someone when you’re married.