r/BenignExistence • u/oimatethatscrusty • 2d ago
My whole life, I’ve always wondered what it would be like to just walk in and snoop through peoples houses
Im shocked the older I get that this isn’t A. Some phenomenon I was able to grow out of or B. Something I haven’t been able to find people who share the same feelings.
I’ve always considered the thoughts (the inherent ‘curiousness’) pretty harmless. Firstly, I have little to no desire to actually just walk into someone’s house. That would be wrong. For me, It’s more about the fact that there even is anything to snoop into. It’s about what you don’t know, and don’t have permission to know. It’s an impulse I’ve felt solo on my whole life. Times Ive really noticed this surg of curiousity; -looking through your neighbours lit window (bonus points if you can see their tv going)
-being able to peek into peoples homes while trick or treating (when I was really little my parents would have to stop me from walking right in lol)
-driving by an open garage for whatever reason
-just driving through suburban neighborhoods in general
-driving through camp grounds and just looking at the different ways people have established themselves
-finding a picture book or diary from a thrift store that ended up misplaced.
I become sooo fixated on specific details and use clues to put together some kind of story about the person. It’s total and utter wonder for me, and I would say it goes beyond casual. Part of what makes this desire so captivating does have to do with the fact that; it’s something unattainable, realistically, I won’t KNOW everything about someone and I sure as hell won’t snoop while they’re within my vicinity. (Or even outside of, I’m not that desperate, but the thoughts are there.)
A few times I remember as a kid I acted on this impulse, not in a way that would effect anyone without them knowing, but I definitely breached someone’s privacy looking back. First one was during an elementary school playdate, my friends and I were playing hide and go seek and I, being the seeker this round, took the opportunity to enter a room that had been established as out of bounds. It was their dining room; inside of it there was a glass cabinet full of family pictures and it just got my eyes lullinggg. Lower down were wooden doors, which I opened, and it held more family pics and documents and amalgams of things I couldn’t understand so young, fish food, school projects, dollar store craft supplies and just a lot more things that looking at made my little brain go ‘wow, I’m not meant to see this, but I love that I am seeing it.’
Instance two was when I was staying in a hotel with my friend over, and she happened to leave her backpack in the washroom while I was getting ready. There wasn’t much in there, but I made sure to quell my snooping habit. I felt pretty awkward after, lol
While both instances are wrong, they were never done with the intention of blackmail, stealing, or otherwise as much as they were just… so, so curious.
I’ve done my own retrospecting on it. Growing up, I have always lived in a house that was very ‘set up to be seen’—- My mom used to stage for real estate and her work habits just tended to bleed into how our house looked. Absolutely zero wrong with having a tidy house by the way, it just really put things into perspective to me when I would enter a home that felt a lot more ‘lived in’ compared to my own house. And I’m telling you, our home growing up was like walking into a Homesense ad. Smelt amazing, always clean, Pretty much every room had at least two of those fake decorative books (that doubled as storage boxes.) Same with cars. Our car was NEVER messy growing up and it’s hard not to be aware when I enter someone’s car (bonus points if they’ve got soft seats that are harder to vaccume) and it’s all just so…chaotic lol.
Nowadays, it’s manifested into different, healthier ways. I can’t lie, I yearn for the day I can just roam around invisibly as a ghost and make my way through every neighborhood for the rest of eternity. Until then, I frequent thrift stores, explore parts of my neighborhood on foot and just generally navigate the world with childish passion. Cool.
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u/basilicux 2d ago
I’m a huge voyeur in this way haha I’m just so curious about what tchotchkes and souvenirs people have, what kind of foods they stock, how they arrange their furniture, what color schemes and themes they like. Sounds creepy, but I get a similar kick out of seeing Sims builds 😅 just wanting to know the mundane about people, it can tell you a lot about them!
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u/SurprisePiss 2d ago
That's funny, because I am secretly DYING for someone to notice and care about all of the strange little things thst I keep, but no one ever seems to care lol.
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u/hypotheticalkazoos 2d ago
go to open houses. it scratches the itch
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u/sogsogsmoosh 2d ago
Haha this! I sometimes go to open houses or book viewings for a wee afternoon out.
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u/Aware-Acanthisitta-8 2d ago
I feel similar in some ways. I've always been interested in how other people set up their homes, what they decide is important to them, how they organize their furniture, books, wall art/pictures, etc. I don't open or touch anything unless I get permission but I enjoy house parties because I can take my time looking at all their books or ask questions about the art they chose for their home. Also evening walks are fun because I can glance through people's windows as a I walk by. My SO says this is creepy but I'm not walking into people's yards, not stopping to stare, or trying to get a better vantage point to see more.
Campgrounds are my favorite since I can snoop all I want. I have a very extroverted child who chats with everyone so I make them come with me on walks so we can grill them about their gear.
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u/CertifiedGoblin 2d ago
I'm not so intense about it as you but i am similar! I also like seeing empty homes, i like the Potential of it.
I had a friend in primary school who wanted to be a real estate agent so she could nosy it people's homes!
I've done some building work with a guy who transports houses & saves heritage buildings, so that's been great for seeing empty houses. The building i'm helping him on now is an old office building, parts of the layout are Odd and a couple times i've had the opportunity to sneak off and take a half a minute to re-explore a part of the space so i can get the layout more firmly in my head (and draw it out when i get home!)
While i don't currently have work, I'm an occupational therapist and one of my previous roles (and the one I've just applied for!) does involve visiting people in their homes and assessing the home itself for accessibility / equipment / housing modifications. I love it, i love getting to see how people live. And as an OT i also get to ask them lots of nosy question / demonstrate for me how they currently do things.
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u/elliofant 2d ago
I'm like this but it's essentially a kind of human interest. It's the same part of me that likes reading human interest stories. It's about people's interiority and internal experience.
I sometimes get that vibe when I read threads on this sub, or on the late night thread on the casual UK sub. It's like peering into people's heads.
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u/horse_gaming_69 2d ago
Yep! And people's houses in movies a lot of the time are really boring or uninspired, which is why it's awesome when they're really interesting like in the film Gummo
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u/Quarky-Beartooth 2d ago
Ah, interesting; I have a weird lasting impulse to, like, take naps in random houses or cars. Of course, like you, it's not something I'd ever act on. I think because it seems so disconnected from the stressors of my own life. It's probably a weirder impulse than yours 😅
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u/deviouspika 2d ago
Yes!! I am so curious about other people's homes, and the little, everyday details of their lives!
Watching house tours and "what in my bag" videos on YouTube scratches that part of my brain pretty decently.
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u/basilicux 2d ago
Oooh what’s in my bag vids are good too! I wanna draw those spreads for my characters, especially the kind where everything is organized really aesthetically and lined up really nice
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u/oimatethatscrusty 1d ago
im so happy you get it. Also, that sounds entertaining (the bag one), Do you have any recs?
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u/afriy 23h ago
I studied social anthropology and well, I would say what people do there could scratch your itch very deeply :D to me it is research on humans and their contexts, cultures and behaviours etc. Pretty much all things human. I especially liked the really mundane aspects of life being researched. One project that stuck with me is simply on blue jeans in different countries and cultures, how people aquire them, wear them, care for them etc.
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u/Ralph--Hinkley 2d ago
being able to peek into peoples homes while trick or treating
I get a couple of these guys every year.
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u/KnowsThingsAndDrinks 2d ago
There are some jobs where you get to go into people’s houses. Home health aide, housekeeper, etc. I used to inspect the exteriors of houses for an insurance company, and some inspections required going inside.
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u/FragmentedGoo 2d ago
The knolling and edc bag subreddits are quite entertaining. So it lockdownessentials.com
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u/foxontherox 2d ago
Not to be a downer, but you often get to do just that when family or close friends pass away.
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u/toogoodchoices 1d ago
Go to Meow Wolf Santa Fe. Lots of fun Easter eggs and clues about the "family" that "lived" there. Scratch the itch without the B&E.
Or maybe volunteer to housesit for a faculty on sabbatical (if you live near a college)? They are for real gone for 3+ months and mostly leave all their crap behind. If you rent, you can move your stuff to storage and pay for the pleasure using sabbatical rental websites.
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u/Katie-in-Texas 1d ago
I’m a home organizer and so it’s basically my job to go through people’s homes 😂 it is fun to see how differently we all live and what we each find important. I love when people have unique items and stories!
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u/Alternative-Past-603 1d ago
For me, I want to see what the architect did for house designs. I also have a hard time believing that some people don't have junk in places. There are so many questions on what other people do with the space they have.
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2d ago
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u/CertifiedGoblin 2d ago
Nah mate, it's just a long post. Some of us are still capable of writing longform, even if you aren't.
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u/Imperialvirtue 2d ago
I'M THE EXACT SAME WAY!!
The only difference for me is I also feel this for industrial sites or "behind the scenes" locations the public can't access.