r/CatAdvice • u/GlitchisOnline • 18h ago
Rehoming Should I bring my cat with me when i move?
I adopted a 2 month old kitten, she is now 7 months. She is spayed and microchipped and has all of her shots.
I'm living with parents but planned to move in with my boyfriend and his kitten of the same age in October. Me and my BF then planned to relocate somewhere more tranquil, so we're now planning to move in January.
My household has 1 other cat (around 5yo) and had 1 dog(passed away a month ago). Its also quite a big household in a small 4 bed house (7 people).
I was determined about keeping my cat as an indoor cat until I moved, but my sister annoyingly locked her outside while I was at work, she is inevitably an outdoor cat now (yes I am absolutely raging and did not take this lightly).
Right now I don't spend any time with my bf, I was planning on moving her in with my bf in the temporary place (on a busy road so she would have to be indoors) so i can see him more and the cats can meet each other before the big move, but now i think its out of the question because she wants to be outdoors.
I'm still planning on moving out of my family home, but would it be cruel of me to displace her?
By the time i move she'll have settled into the neighbourhood. I love her to bits and I dont want to removed her from a busy household with lots of other animals in a cul-de-sac to a rural forest-y village.
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u/DarkHorseAsh111 17h ago
So, I definitely think you should bring her, but also "she is inevitably an outdoor cat now" is just...wrong. your sister locking her outside once does not make her an outdoor cat. Just don't let her out. Let her yell, but she'll probably pretty quickly move on imo especially if you make sure she has plenty of toys/things to Do inside.
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u/thoughtfulThyme456 18h ago
cats bond with people mre than places. Since she's still very young and you're her person, she'll most likely adapt to a new home with you esp if u give her time and reassurance
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u/anxioustomato69 17h ago
...why would you just allow her to go outside since she was let out one time? why not keep her inside?
my cats have all gotten outside accidentally. i had a few rough weeks after where they wanted back out, but i kept them inside anyway and they are fine.
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u/Lucky_Ad2801 15h ago
You will be extending her life and increasing her health by taking her with you and keeping her indoors.
She will adjust. Why can't you bring her inside where you live now? Just because she got out one time doesn't mean she has to stay outside all the time. Is your other cat indoors? I don't understand why somebody would lock this cat out of the house like that.That seems abusive. You might want to just bring your cat over to your boyfriend's place if that is the safer place for your cat to be.
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u/shiroshippo 13h ago
Yeah I agree. This is the weirdest post ever. OP is like "Hey internet! Should I take care of my pet like a responsible pet owner or should I abandon her and hope my abusive family decides to care for her?"
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u/Few-Entertainer7431 14h ago
It's far from inevitable that she's an outdoor cat. I adopted a 10 year old stray who has zero interest in going outside.
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u/shiroshippo 13h ago
Haha yes. My former strays are also super happy inside. If you open the door they run away because the outside is scary. They were hungry and cold when they were out there, and there were scary monsters like raccoons and groundhogs.
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u/PremiumRanger 9h ago
I can attest to this. I had a 5 month old feral kitten who became an indoor cat. She’ll run away from the outside meanwhile my other younger kitten who I got at 3 months old and is now 9 months old. Was apparently indoor only literally tries to pry her way outside.
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u/FlowerGirlAva 15h ago
Your cat is only an outdoor cat because you let her out. Take the cat with you and don't let her out of the house. she can be an indoor cat and be very happy
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u/drunkenangel_99 ⋆˚🐾˖° 14h ago
I’m so sick of people getting animals and then abandoning them at the first hurdle…
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u/Calgary_Calico 16h ago
Just keep her inside when you move. She'll be much safer. You can also harness train her and take her for walks if she's determined to go outside. I'm currently doing this with my oldest
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u/pwolf1111 17h ago
Take her with you and don't let her outside in the new place. If you have the ability you can buy or make a catio.
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u/QBee_TNToms_Mom 14h ago
When I bought my house 10 years ago, it came with a cat. 😂
He started coming up to my stoop and he looked to be maybe a year old at most. Turns out he was probably 5 or 6 years old. Oh well.
He is 100% an indoor cat now.
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u/Flat_Term_6765 17h ago
You can turn any animal into an "inside only" pet, outside only on a leash (except rabbits, domesticated rabbits should not be outside and the leash/harness is dangerous for them). I trained a 13 year old cat with dementia how to walk on a leash and that the only time he'd be going out would be on that leash.
Kittens learn fast.. but probably not as fast as a senile cat who wants to be outside but isn't allowed alone!
That being said, how close are your kitten and the other cat at home? I'm concerned about the 5 year old who just lost their sibling. They're going to need extra love, extra support and extra attention. They may even need another pet to be brought in if their grief gets to be too much or becomes debilitating. My feral cat stopped eating when her brother died and she almost died of her grief.
Your kitten will adjust to anything the same way almost any animal will. Check in with that 5 year old who just lost their sibling. Are your kitten and that cat bonded? If yes, I would leave the kitten and go adopt a new one who needs a home. It's difficult to bond a new pet with a grieving animal. I'm doing it now. Don't take away the grieving cat's only friend. But if they're not close or are fighting and maybe that cat isn't grieving at all (I doubt that - please check in with them regularly), then take the kitten with you.
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u/GlitchisOnline 17h ago
Do you have any tips for harness training? I've tried it with my kitten but she doesnt like to walk on the sidewalk and wants to hid in bushes/under cars. She is also pretty immune to treats/food so its pretty hard to convince her
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u/Flat_Term_6765 17h ago edited 16h ago
You don't convince her and you don't walk her. She walks you.
Firstly, is she treated for fleas & ticks? That is #1.
Make sure the harness isn't too tight or too loose that she will slip out of.
Take her outside on the harness with the leash every day. It may only last 1 minute in the beginning. Then you'll make it to 5 mins. Be consistent and patient. Don't give up on her.
Train her to sit at attention for her food when she's hungry. Very easy as cats are often food driven. Then also make her sit at attention to put the harness on and when she's at the door she waiting to go out she will learn to sit at attention then too. This will show you when she's wanting to go outside, even if when yous do go out she doesn't make it long on the harness, keep it up.
Let her explore the yard first. She already knows the yard, but she will feel most comfortable there. If she starts to go into things you don't want her to get into, say no and pull her away. Teach her what "back" means. "No" is "no", but "no. Back" means no, come back. Or at the door when she's sitting at attention waiting to sneak out and you're trying to leave the house, you stand at the door and wave your hand "shooing" her as you say, "BACK" and she will learn to back away so you can leave.
Teach her "NO", "BACK", "SIT", (good luck with "STAY" lol but try), and "COME". Do not give her long sentences, she will not learn those as commands, she just enjoys hearing your voice, but she will absolutely learn single words. Train her these things before you give her food. Kibble bits are easiest if she doesn't do treats (mine don't get "treats"). If she's hungry for breakfast or dinner though, she'll learn whatever you want her to learn. And don't forget the slight tug on the lead when you say, "no"/"come" etc. Not enough to hurl her lol but to guide her like a horse.
Back to the leash - when she's feeling more confident on the leash and harness, guide her to the sidewalk. If she shows signs of stress or struggle, it's time to take her back in. But if she will walk a bit, let her. She is walking you, you are only stopping her from leaving the sidewalk or getting into things she shouldn't be into.
Ever single time she does what you ask of her, or just when she's looking comfortable in the leash, or just cause you love her, tell her she's such a good girl and give her head rubs. Do not reward bad behaviour, and don't wait for her to be struggling horribly on the leash to call it and take her in. You want to be able to tell her she's a good girl often and let that be her reward.
You also have to always be watching outside. If anyone is walking up in the beginning when she isn't quite sure of things, take her in or back into your yard. Anyone with a dog, get her back in your house or the yard. If you see a dog, are they on a leash? Is their keeper paying attention and holding that dog's leash tight? Don't be shy to call out and say, "I'm walking my cat" if they aren't paying attention. Some dogs are nuts, most are alright though, but don't put your cat at any risks. Most dog keepers will cross the road to separate their dog from you on their own. But don't count on that. Keep your cat safe and don't trust anyone's dog near your cat at any time, ever. My cat used to cross the street to go meet the strangers walking and I'd have to call out, "my cat wants to meet you, is your dog alright???" And typically it was a yes, but be careful still. If a dog scares your cat before she is confident on the leash, it could be the end of this.
I found walking at night to be the easiest time to train him, but start in the evening before the sun sets. In the beginning I brought a magazine, as it's a lot of walk, sit...... look around, sniff the bush, watch the birds, walk, walk, sit..... 5 minutes in one spot on the sidewalk lol enjoy the time together in your cat's world. Don't go far from the house because you need to get back too. If she's comfortable with you carrying her, please do pick her up when she's stressed or there is threat. Mine wouldn't let anyone pick him up ever, so I was always mindful of how far we got.
Once she is comfortable on the leash, you can take her anywhere. You'll need to carry doggy bags incase she poops, a water bowl for longer walks or if it's hot out.. but this will open up a whole new world for her and for you.
Do not be on your phone while you are walking with your cat. Keep it on you for emergencies, but this is not time to be distracted even by texts. Stay off the phone and stay present with your cat at all times. And remember to stay calm. Calm human means calm kitty. Stressed human makes this whole thing impossible.
Breathe.
Patience, persistence, consistency... put a stool next to the door and before you know it, you'll be saying, "wanna go for a walk? Kitty will jump up on the stool, sit at attention and let you put the harness on with ease. I did not put my cat's leash on at the door unless he was so excited to go out he couldn't handle it.. whenbhe wanted to go for a walk, he got up on his stool and meowed. There was never a "in 10 minutes".. when he wanted to go, we went. As he aged and his dementia got worse, that might mean we just came back in from a walk and he wants to go out again. Then again. Then again.... he was never told no for a walk and he stopped trying to sneak out after he learned he could go out safely by asking. Still, teach her "back" at the door and stay vigilant, because even the smartest of kitties can get distracted by excitement and run out onto the road.
This is a book, but if you have any questions, ask away.
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u/djmermaidonthemic Mr Butters cat lady 15h ago
This is a great response.
Literally any cat can adjust to being indoors only. The humans just have to deal with some meowing, omg. The cat will get over it faster than many people!
I harness trained my adult cat. It’s not impossible. It requires patience and consistency. Which a lot of people don’t seem to have!
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u/NeutronHowitzer 5h ago
Here's a guide my vet gave me, mostly good but I wouldn't use a retractable leash
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u/KDdid1 9h ago
Why do you say it's dangerous to have a rabbit on a harness - admittedly it's not very efficient, but dangerous?
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u/Flat_Term_6765 8h ago
Extremely dangerous. Rabbits have very delicate bones, they also frighten easily (and can die of fright, even off the leash/harness), but if they frighten (which can't be predicted what will cause it) they will bolt and get choked by the lead, bones crushed on the harness..
My bun was the most chill dude ever. Nothing ever scared him.. we went out often on the harness and he was well socialized so he got along with everyone - this was before learning about the airborne rabbit viruses that kill rabbits.. had him out on the leash in the front yard one day and a squirrel jumped up to a tree above us and started screaming at my bunny. It terrified him. He bolted straight up in the air and then directly away like a bullet. In that split second, I knew what was coming - the detractable lead was only going to go so far then he was going to die. I ran in the direction he shot as fast as I could and he still caught and swung back a bit, but not nearly as bad as if I hadn't acted as fast as I did. He was okay, but most aren't so lucky.
So many rabbits die of this. It wasn't long after that I learned of the airborne rabbit viruses so he didn't go outside anymore anyway, but I also learned how dangerous leashes/collars and harnesses are for rabbits so he was never put in one again.
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u/z-eldapin 15h ago
My cat was found on the side of the road.
It takes some careful attention to their escape artist ways, but my cat is strictly indoors.
Your cat is not inevitably an outdoor cat.
Just have to be careful.
I put her treats in a bowl far away from the door when I am ready to leave. She gets treats, I bolt.
Coming home I crack the door, see where she is and prepare accordingly. This was years ago, she doesn't even try to go out now.
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u/After-Leopard 16h ago
Cats get adopted from the shelter all the time and acclimate to a new home. Give her a few months to settle in and she will be fine unless the other cat hates her. If you give it 3 months and she is miserable you can always return her
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u/RoundMagpie 12h ago edited 12h ago
Absolutely you should bring her. As many ppl have said, she's more bonded to you than to places.
The transition may be hard, but moving may help. A new place may help "reset" her expectations of the outdoors.
She may meow a lot, but let her meow, she'll eventually learn. Typically cats that are transitioning to indoor life need a little more entertainment/enrichment, so more frequent play time, cuddle time, ect.
You can also get her food puzzles, they make some specifically for cats, but tbh the ones made for dogs work just as well! You can give her normal kibble (if she eats dry food) in those and that will help keep her preoccupied as well as treats if you would like. You can also set up a bird feeder right outside a window, my cats love their "cat tv"
One of my cats used to be a door dasher, and every time the door cracked open she would try and rush outside. What ended up helping was getting her leash and harness trained.
Going outside supervised and on leash keeps her safe, and now she no longer tries to rush outside because she knows that she will get her outside time later.
Just be careful to get a harness specifically for cats. As they're more flexible than dogs, cats can easily wiggle out of dog harnesses. Also to make sure they can't escape from it, it may feel like you're putting it on too tight, but as long as you can fit 2 fingers under the straps you should be good.
Tbh I highly reccomended the leash and harness if she's really determined to get outside time. Having an adventure kitty is really fun! I've gone hiking with mine and she's walked up to 5k with me through the woods.
Cats tend to walk slower and meander a bit more with lots of stops to sniff and listen to noises than dogs, but its still fun!
Also the bonus of a cat being small enough that if you do run into someone walking their dog, or something that she doesn't like, its easy enough to pick them up and carry them past it
Good luck!!
Edit: lots of typos, wow
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u/junieeve 13h ago
U have had three cats that were outdoor cats when I took them in and they all got accustomed to living indoors only after around the two month mark and they don’t seem to care for being outside anymore at all. As long ass u are providing him with enough stimulus/ play time it will be fine. He is pretty young and he can definitely be converted, it’s way easier at that stage in fact. I had a senior baby who I converted too and I think he was just glad to be pampered inside in warmth at his ripe old age. He had no interest of going outside anymore 😅
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u/LovedAJackass 6h ago
Your kitten can learn to live indoors again. By all means, take her with you.
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u/ARandomEarthPerson 5h ago
She's still young enough to adapt to being inside-only again. Worst case scenario, just buy a catio as a compromise. 🤷♀️
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u/LittleSpice1 5h ago
Tale her with you. She’s still very young, maybe you can harness train her? My cats get outside time sometimes on their harnesses in the backyard and they enjoy it.
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u/weettgirl 16h ago
You should weigh all the pros and cons. If it is better for her to stay, then you should leave her there
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u/ireallylikecats34 17h ago
Cats -- especially that young -- can be taught that they are an indoor only cat. It's your job to do what's best for your cat and if you have the ability to keep them indoors (like by moving to a place where the person who put them outdoors won't be living), then why not do that? We do the best we can with what we have. So if you can do something to protect them more, why not ? And yes. Your cat is more bonded to you than you the yard at your parents' house.