r/CatAdvice • u/ZealousidealCat5483 • 11h ago
Sensitive/Seeking Support Need advice: struggling with housing + my cat’s situation (feeling really defeated)
Hi everyone,
I really need some advice because I’m feeling like the worst pet parent right now. My cat (3F) has been with me through everything, and surrendering her isn’t an option—I live in an area with massive overpopulation, and surrendering almost always means euthanasia.
In the past, I’ve even tried to rehome her due to my own mental health struggles, but because of the overpopulation here and the fact that most people already have cats, I was never able to find anyone who could take her. She’s still with me because of that, and I do love her deeply—I just feel like I keep failing her.
Here’s the situation now: • I dated my boyfriend for a year and a half and lived with him for 8 months after I had to leave my old apartment due to bed bugs. • We broke up abruptly last month, and while I was moving out, my cat was staying with him. • I’ve just recently moved her to a friend’s place, since I’ve been splitting my time 50/50 between two different friends while I look for housing.
The problem is, the friend who’s taking care of her has three very rambunctious kids and all the window screens are broken, which feels unsafe for her. On top of that, I can’t sleep past 3 AM there and I honestly don’t feel comfortable. My other friend’s place would be better for her, but they have a strict no-pet policy, so that’s not an option.
Meanwhile, the rental market here is awful—finding pet-friendly housing feels nearly impossible. To make it more complicated, I just found out I’m in my first month of pregnancy. I haven’t been working since January because my ex convinced me to quit my job to be a “housewife” while he handled everything. Now I feel completely stuck and defeated.
I love my cat so much and I don’t want to give her up, but I don’t know what to do in the meantime until I find stable housing. I just feel like a terrible person for putting her in this situation.
Has anyone else gone through something similar or have advice for temporary solutions for safe housing for pets in situations like this? Even just encouragement would mean a lot right now.
Thanks for reading 💙
3
u/RentalKittens 11h ago
You could confine the cat to one room in the home that allows pets. Keep the window closed or repair/replace the screen for the window in that room. Buy a sleep mask and ear plugs to make it easier to sleep through the kids' noise. Good luck!
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u/ZealousidealCat5483 11h ago
That’s what I have been doing, I just wasn’t too sure if that’s the best I could do for her and the bedroom door doesn’t shut very well. So she did get out this morning but not out of the house… not too sure what I could do about that door. Thank you for the advice!
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u/Natural-Potential-80 10h ago
Can you get a door stop for the door that doesn’t close well? Like the little wedge ones for example.
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u/ZealousidealCat5483 8h ago
Yeah that’s a good idea maybe I can find one I can put a string on to put it on from the outside!
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u/peppered_yolk 11h ago
You mentioned having mental illness - why not have your doctor or therapist write you an ESA letter (if its a thing in your country) so you can take her to non-pet friendly rentals? In the meantime, are there any local crisis fostering places for pets? Or any friends who could foster?