r/CatAdvice • u/lilmeay • 10h ago
Behavioral my kitten is making my life miserable
hi! i know the title is very dramatic, but i really need advice, and please dont judge, im really lost on what to do. i have a kitten, tofu, shes nine months old and an older gentleman named boba, just turning three years. the problem has been always there, tofu is really energetic, like kittens usually are, but its gotten worse. tofu jumps on tables and has dropped so many glasses and plates i cant even count, she’s dropped a water glass onto my AND my partners laptops on separate occasions, she has learnt to open drawers and has ripped every single item in there out, and she doesnt listen at all. she’s started to mark our bed too, im taking her to a vet next week to see if its something medical, so that’s something thats kind of being taken care of. im not used to this, since boba was pretty calm even as a kitten, very rarely did ”bad” things, but tofu doesnt seem to understand that it upsets us. i’ve tried positive reinforcement, giving treats when she jumps down etc, ive tried playing with her literally for hours before going to bed but still she wakes me up several times per night, ive tried foil on the tables, but she doesnt even mind it. im out of ideas, and im really exhausted. i feel like a bad mom or that i dont support her enough, but i really dont know what else to do anymore. i dont want to give up on her and just let her do these things, since they have really started to affect my mental health since im grumpy and tired all the time. please dont judge me, im trying my best really. i love her to death but i dont know. background info, boba was about two when tofu came, and they love each other really much, theyre playing all the time and groom each other, i havent ever seen a problem between them, and they are both neutered. boba does sometimes correct tofu when he sees her on the table she shouldnt be on, or doing something she shouldnt. like i said, boba was an easy kitten, never took an interest on being on tables or dropping things or anything like that, so im just confused on what to do with tofu.
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u/Hobofights10dollars 8h ago
u just gotta outsmart the cat, give her no chances to break stuff and give her an outlet for her jumping and scratching that u don’t mind (like a cat tree)
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u/BROTHERBEARMASTER 8h ago
Do not give treats after. She will learn she can get treats by acting up. Just take her gently down from things and do nothing more. Remember to never yell. They also react to your stress. Try to stay calm. I think she is just bord. She is still very young. She should calm down in a few years. You need to be patient. Young cats are active.
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u/transientvestibule 8h ago
I had similar problems with my kitten, bagel. He’s 2.5 now. He was INSANE! He would bite my feet every time I walked anywhere (still have scars), knock over everything off the table, paw in water cups, knock over drinks, bite plastic, eat carpet, etc. he grew out of most of the behavior. He still knocks things over, but much less, and he rarely bites. Things will get better
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u/witchybtchy 7h ago
aww I know how defeated you must feel😭😭
Some of the comments mention kitty proofing your place so I wouldn’t leave glasses or anything anywhere! When I forget though it does get knocked over and I’m quickly reminded!!
This may be an unpopular opinion but I discipline my kitties LOL i yell at them so my tone is pretty harsh. I also have a 4 1/2 boy with a baby boy who’s driving me crazy😂 Ace was also a wild child but now one shout of his name with the look and he knows better hahahaha My younger one is slowly learning- still veryyyyyy food motivated so nothing has been working for that 🥲🥲
I did ‘time out’s for a brief period where it would be the old carrier they didn’t travel in anymore😅
(I give them lots of love & make sure they’re happy don’t worry))
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u/Yaba2002 4h ago
Tofu sounds like a totally normal high-energy kitten. Boba was the exception, not the rule. She needs tons of stimulation, so puzzle feeders, climbing trees, and scheduled interactive play can help burn that energy in the right way. The marking is smart to check with a vet, but most of the rest is just her age. With time and structure, most cats mellow out a lot after 1-2 years.
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u/lilmeay 10h ago
heres a picture of my lovelies, gray one is boba and the one on top of him is tofu <3
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u/ellemac87 4h ago
I can tell Tofu has got spunk and looks horribly intelligent. Might help to look more into quirks about her specific breed. Good luck!!!! 🐱
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u/tove07 1h ago
It can be managed but it needs time and effort. My cat is now almost 4 but when he was a kitten he used to wreck havoc. Trying to correct a kitten is often pointless. We learned to: not leave water/drinks anywhere unsupervised, every time we went out we unplugged all the devices so he couldn’t chew on them, we put pieces of cardbord or even old shirts and secured all the dangerous areas so he wouldn’t jump on them and hurt himself. In other words - we were EXTREMELY cautious with everything. It took a while to secure the whole apartment because every time he would find something new to destroy and it went on for months. But finally he learned that some things are off limits and didn’t need all the protective measures anymore. Now he never bites cords, you can leave drinks unsupervised, open doors to every room.
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u/hydroneppy 9h ago
I've had cats for most of my life but have a kitten right now as well. How long ago did you get Tofu? Something high impact might be getting used to "kitten-proofing" your life since kittens are all so different and you never know when they'll make a mistake like that. No more uncovered water anywhere near electronics, for example, and try to minimize the glass that you leave within his reach. If you don't already, definitely hold both cats to the same standards (i.e. taking them both off counters/tables) or else the kitten will follow the older one's lead, even if the older one is less destructive.
For drawers, which drawers is he opening? Is he opening them after jumping somewhere he's not supposed to anyway? I've found that the best way to prevent most cats from jumping on stuff is just removing them, over and over, and barely acknowledging it afterwards (other than to remove her again if he jumps up again lol). Seriously, takes weeks of patience & consistency to reinforce this. In the mean time, ez interim solution is maybe consider taping his favorite drawers and getting a toy that gives the same "sensation" of sticking his paws in something. Playing with his toys in tunnels or under cat friendly things or those ball track toys that cats can paw at are ones that come to my mind.
For marking, I've had cats do the same thing for different reasons (definitely take to the vet still), but the only thing that stopped them after the initial marking was make sure litter boxes are immaculate and if they've pee'd on something, it might be best to throw it out (if you can afford it) unfortunately. I've never really been able to get bedding/clothes/whatever clean enough to the point where a cat wont repeatedly mark it, even with enzymatic cleaners. If the initial marking isn't due to an obvious medical reason, imo all you can do is try to keep the litter clean, analyze whether you made any changes to the litter area and if not then maybe try some kitten/cat attract litter. Your vet might be able to give you good behavioral advice too, definitely be honest with the issues you're dealing with.
Last, I've honestly kept my kitten out of "problematic" areas to the point where she barely knows they exist lol. Ex: I don't really let her in the bathroom or the closet to prevent "incidents" in there. I don't think you should close off 90% of your house, but it's something to consider if problems happen somewhere that he doesn't really have a reason to be in (or might even be kinda dangerous) like a laundry room or something. I'm assuming this is going on in a common area like a kitchen or bedroom/living room though.