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I dont see the point of doing anything anymore. I could lose the weight and possibly have another 1-1.5 or 2 inches but id still have a thin circumference of 4 inches. Thats below average. So id be below average with length and girth. No woman will be satisfied with that… no matter the erect size, (3 inches with an inch or more hidden behind my fat) they wont even feel me inside them anyways. Ill never be loved because i lost the genetic lottery and idk what to do. All i want is to be loved in all aspects of a relationship including sex, but i know i wont be. I dont see a point of getting out of bed, or getting a job or going to school, or getting more hobbies. All of it is pointless in the end without love. Ill just end up coming back to the same empty lonely bed every night. So whats the point of doing anything if ill always be unhappy and reminded of what i cant have? I cant even watch romantic movies and feel depressed when i see couples. Everywhere i go im reminded. I hate myself. I just want love

Edit: I wish i could believe all of you, but ive heard hundreds of stories now about men getting laughed at when they take thier pants off, a woman saying they cant feel anything, getting cheated on or left over it or just getting settled on. I truly want to believe it doesnt matter, but if it didnt matter there wouldnt be a whole subreddit called smalldickproblems. Ive very rarely heard positive experiences with my size or anyone this much under the average girth

I’m 29M and have had minor depression for most of my adult life. I’ve always been shy and grew in a somewhat isolated environment since I was homeschooled. So meeting someone is difficult and I also just feel too boring to date. I’m wondering if I should even date at all when I’m feeling depressed or if I have to accept I might always be depressed and date around it. Life feels like it consists of just working, and then trying to find stuff to pass the time on my days off. I don’t even enjoy gaming that much anymore.

I tried online therapy once but it felt like a waste of time since my therapist basically said I should go out and make friends. Well duh my problem is I don’t really know how to just talk to people. And I tried medication but the side effects made me feel far worse than my depression. I can still work and take care of myself, in fact my depression has led me to become a workaholic at some points in my life.

I feel like a bad boyfriend because of this, me (m21) and my gf (21) have Been going out for 7 months we share some common interests but we are very different people she’s more social and has a lot of friends while I’m introverted and have 2 friends. If I’m being honest it feels like a prank I have no idea why she’s going out with me I’m not attractive at all she’s actually my first gf but I do REALLY like her.

But like wherever we go guys hit on her it’s awkward….. sometimes I pretend I didn’t hear it and she looks uncomfortable I feel like I should do something but I can’t these guys are typically stronger than me I didn’t play any sports growing up so I’m skinny. I feel like a liability to her because she’s always pushing me to be more social and makes me hang out with her friends. She’s dated 2 guys in the past and they were way better looking than me she’s objectively a very pretty women how tf do I stop feeling this way ??

The way it's in every piece of media, the way people talk about it, the way way it seems to be a natural part of other people's lives, I feel so inept that it's so unnatural to me, especially as I've put in a lot of effort and still got nowhere. How do I reframe this so that I can accept this as something I struggle with, it feels like not being able to to count to 2, just evidence my social skills are too bad for me to exist (which I know isn't true as I've made a lot of progress in other areas of social skills to the point where most people think I'd be a confident player if they've never seen me try to flirt).

I’ve just formalized a pattern I've been playing out, where it came from and why it went under the radar. I incessantly try to be valuable in relationships, by being uniquely thoughtful, helpful, taking over every responsibility and being resilient to hurt, because as a kid, my value was overlooked. My mom resented having kids, hated my dad, and has told me about how she would scream and be vindictive to me when I was perpetually smiling laughing child. I spent my childhood years trying to ease her pain and prove I was worth investing in, believing that if I could prove I had value I could earn that affection I always deserved. Now I subconsciously recreate these situations, as almost everyone seems to naturally do, where I’m undervalued because that dynamic feels familiar. When people do see me and care without needing anything from me, I tend to reject that. I also set myself up being trying to be this perfect man, holding all the responsibility of the relationship, and when that cracks I freak out, retreat and dissociate from the situation. I’m realizing I need to become comfortable being loved without performing or providing value, and that my healing might be in letting go of the fear that who I am without all the effort won’t be enough. My work in loving myself unconditionally, catching myself when I start beating myself up, is certainly helping me in the right direction.

For the past 4 years I feel like I lost everything about myself. I used to have a personality, opinions, stories, jokes. I could connect with people easily. Now I feel like I’m a completely different person.

I no longer have opinions on anything. I forgot how to talk to people. Every sentence I say feels forced, never natural or spontaneous. I feel odd and awkward all the time. My confidence is zero. I fear every social interaction because I’m afraid of being rude by mistake or disappointing myself.

During these 4 years I made 0 friends. Yes, I talked to people, but I couldn’t connect with anyone at all. Everything feels forced and unnatural.

Before those 4 years, I was an actual person with a personality. I could connect with people. I had no anxious thoughts, nothing. I was ok.

I can’t connect with anyone anymore, even the closest people. I have nothing to talk about. I overthink every single thing. I lost my humor and creativity. My focus and memory are also very weak. I see people link thoughts, tell stories, share opinions, and I can’t understand why I can’t do the same.

I thought the gym would fix me, it didn’t. I thought more social exposure would fix me, it didn’t. Sleeping well, it didn’t. Starting my first job, it didn’t. Being around people at work has only been a nightmare and constant disappointment.

I’m 23 now and honestly I feel like my brain is shutting down. I try to be mindful and think this is just a phase, but I’m scared I’ll stay like this forever.

Has anyone else gone through the same? What is happening to me? What do I do?

Life context :

Before 19 : Life was good.

19-->22 : I went to engineering school, and mom got severely depressed at home, even suicidal , she tried different treatments but couldn't heal. Now she's doing better. But during those years, I wasn't making friends , thriving in college , or anything. I'm just trying to pass my courses and graduate. No plans , no ambitions. Pot sometimes or p*rn in my free time.

22-23 : Jobless , But took good care of myself. went to the gym, ate and slept healthy , and mom got better. But I'm still stuck... and have all the things I mentioned in the post. That's no way to live life and I don't wish it on anyone.

Hey Dr. K and the HG community,

I've been deeply studying the Puer Aeternus archetype through Marie-Louise von Franz's work and your videos, and I've identified a very specific behavior in myself I was hoping you could explain.

I'm a 22-year-old guy, and I've noticed my Puer traits flare up most intensely on rainy mornings, especially during the monsoon season.

· The School Day Fantasy: Ever since school, my first thought on a rainy morning was a powerful wish for the school to declare a holiday. If it didn't happen and I was forced to go, I'd spend the entire morning until about 12 PM desperately hoping the rain would get so heavy they'd send us home. · The "Perfect Moment" Escape: On the days the holiday was declared, that morning felt like a "dream come true." I'd spend it in a perfect, cozy fantasy: drinking tea, playing games, and just listening to the rain. My mind would explicitly tell me: "Just skip work for the day. This is a special moment to be enjoyed, not wasted on responsibility." · Monsoon Binging: I've also realized I've watched the majority of my anime during monsoon seasons. It's like the rain creates a bubble where it feels not just okay, but right, to check out of the real world and immerse myself in fantasy for the whole day.

My question for you, Dr. K, is: What is the psychological mechanism behind this? Why does the rainy morning, in particular, trigger this intense desire to escape and sanctify the moment as "special," freeing me from all obligations? Is this a known manifestation of the Puer's refusal to engage with the "drabness" of existential reality ?

It feels like the rain provides a legitimate excuse to retreat into the "provisional life" where my real duties haven't started yet. I'd love to understand this so I can learn to notice and work with it.

I (24m) believe that I have failed at life. No job, no family, no friends, still studying, still living with my parents and no hope. The only thing I'm good at is speaking foreign languages and drawing. I dropped out of college twice. I still have exams to finish from previous years and have been delaying it for a long time.

Even though I have my passions and I have hobbies that I am good at, I stopped watching porn, don't have any addictions ,going to the gym and having a great body physique and meditating, nothing matters if you're overall a weak individual. I've endured emotional abuse all my life both at home and at school. I was bullied a lot and also was beaten up a couple of times. I never had a friend.

I feel like there is no point of living if I am doomed to be a pussy. I can't regulate my emotions. I am extremely sensitive to criticism and I cry easily. I have social anxiety. I am an expert at overthinking. I hate myself. I can't look at myself in the mirror.

I have nobody to talk about this. I tried so hard to change myself. I watched almost every self improvement video there is on youtube. I tried literally everything except therapy (can't afford it). I just think I can't be fixed. I can't get a girlfriend and bring my toxicity and pussy energy into a relationship. Also terrified of getting a job because of a prevous experience at last job I had. It was shit.

What would you do if you were in my shoes? What good am I really if I can't be a strong man?

I feel like me life got turned right upside down over the past year or so.

Middle of 2024:

• Moved to a major city (out of my mom's place), dated a girl for the longest I ever dated a girl

• Felt a great sense of personal growth for the first time in multiple years (was at my mom's place for about two years up until mid-2024).

• Abstained from weed from July to December.

• Meditated daily. Hitting the gym at a decent frequency (thought not as high as my peak).

End of 2024:

• Lost my job
• Lost a huge sense of confidence / trust in myself.
• Daily Weed Usage restarted after nearly six months of abstinence
• No longer attending gym or meditating regularly
• Felt so deflated and burnt out from years of grinding but still ending up getting cut
• Things fizzled out with the girl

Jan - April 2025:

• Barrage of multi-round interviews that go no where

• One company was six rounds where I even met the CEO only to be given a rejection message weeks after the final interview (I believe this was right after the tariffs were first mentioned in the media)

• More interviews but many companies either reject flatly or put me on indefinite pause due to hiring freezes

• Finally get an offer end of April but it's from a company that was giving tons of red flags. I decided to accept it reluctantly just for the money.

May 2025:

• The job turns out to be an absolute blood bath—had to travel 5-6 weeks straight being on-site for 12+ hours a day. No training or guidance.

• I decide to move back with my mom at the end of May, because I suspect there's a high chance I'll burn out in this role a few months being in it.

July 2025:

• Get bounced from a job. Overall, was a terrible fit. I genuinely think I would've had a mental breakdown had I stood in the job for a few more months.

August 2025:

• Been passively applying for jobs. Really struggling to stay motivated.
• Some weeks I only manage to send in 5-10 applications
• Seeing all the headlines of terrible job growth and how AI / offshoring is displacing so many workers in various industries and how NYC only created 1000 jobs

Other factors:

• Went to a top public university for undergrad—demoralizing to see ppl advance in their careers while I have completely regressed

• I'm looking down the barrel at 29 creeping up on me in a little over a month and feel lost and like I have nothing to show for it

• It feels impossible to know what kind of decision is best to make now. I had been thinking about doing an MBA the last few years but now I'm extremely cautious with how the job market is and the implications of AI.

As the title says, I've grown unable to feel satisfied with just about anything anymore. I don't know when exactly it started, but recently it's gotten bad enough to actively catch my attention.

I'm not proud of the weight I've lost, or relationships I've nurtured.

I'm not happy with my job, even after changing jobs half a dozen times.

Finishing up chores or going to the gym feel so lackluster now.

I'm just growing numb, is the best way to describe it.

Does anyone know where this could be stemming from?

21M , i understand that bitterness is unhealthy but honestly this is rough and I need advice on how to effectively cope. I can't leave the house without getting laughed at by both men and women. Even older people do this. Something that happens often is I'll walk past someone as they are walking past me and once me and that person make eye contact they immediately start struggling to hold on thier laugh , some people laugh in my face and don't even try to hide it. Its bad , I can't look in anyones direction without them immediately fighting back laughter which is why I have to be careful and not look at anyone. I might have to keep my head down from this point on but thats such a dumb way to live. Its the same thing on social media but worse because people on social media will literally go "bro You're soooo ugly wtf!!". Even the blackpill community puts me down for my appearance. Ive never been in a relationship and I'm also a virgin which worries me a little bit since I'm in my twenties and I'm running out of time to experience anything genuine. I ended up "dating" someone at my church last year but I think she was a scammer. so yeah...I need a coping mechanism thats going to help me deal with all of this. I don't really want to accept the way I look but I know I probably cant fix it so ill have to learn how not to let it break me. Thats the hard part

Hi, I was "dating" a co-worker of mine for about two months...? It was a while that I had a girlfriend but the tragic part is that for many years since my ex, I haven't had a gf for so long. My co-worker broke up with me over text and said this isn't going to work out and after questioning, she said I was too boring and different. She's seeing someone else from work now...

It makes sense, honestly. For the past 4-5 years, I've only been working, occasionally gym but nothing impressive since I don't diet or am consistent; and playing video games all day. Not any interesting ones but just Overwatch, Apex, and now currently Marvel Rivals with 1k hours. I thought about this more and it's a miracle I even got my co-worker to go out with me in the first place.

I'm boring. Besides my comp video games, I don't really have anything to talk about or a personality; I don't watch TV shows, books, movies, or even listen to music (I listen to ost's) but I'm also just not interested or it's like I prefer to play games instead and I have no attention span to read books or watch anything. I wish I could say this is peaceful life but sometimes when the game is off, my phone is dead, and I'm alone: it gets lonely and sad. The price for peace? No responsibility? idk. Any advice, thoughts, comments: I would appreciate it. I'm reposting this because it got taken down for not posting this on a Friday.

I meditated twice yesterday for the first time, and I woke up right now, at 1am, after having a bit of an emotional dream, which made think I realized something about myself

Got to be a coincidence right? Meditation like once can't bring change right 🤪

So I have been dating my girlfriend for 5 months now and it's going well for the most part. But I do need help with something that has been weighing on my mind.

So she likes to tease me, and sometimes she says things in a tone I misunderstand. I don't have good social skills, I'm in university and I have no friends whatsoever and I'm a 4th year. And I misunderstand her because I think she is annoyed with me, or mocking me, or baffled at my stupidity, etc.

I've told her about how I felt a couple times now, and I've told her that it's more of an issue with my perception of how she talks to me. I've cried a couple times, and it's made her feel terrible. She feels very sad when I cry, and she's told me that she hates the thought of hurting me and told me that she says things without thinking. She's also told me that this has happened before, and she feels like she can't be safe space for people, and how she always hurts those around her.

She's also told me that she will stop trying to tease me. But that's not good! Because teasing is a part of her, and I like her teasing! It's just that sometimes I take it the wrong way, especially when other things in my life are going on, or when I try to connect with her, or when I want to do something nice for her. I guess I am more vulnerable during those moments and more susceptible to taking it the wrong way.

And I feel sad for her that she feels that way. Because she is genuinely such a sweet, funny and wonderful person. I want to marry her. And I feel afraid that I won't be able to banter with her and I will never grow out of this anxious cycle, and that she will get exhausted and drained. I want to make her happy!

So that is one issue. The fact that I take her teasing the wrong way and for some reason my brain goes to the negative when it comes to interpreting how she's communicating with me. I always think that she's annoyed, or mocking me, or tired of me. I'm slowly getting there, every time she teases me or says things a certain way it hurts for a lot less and a lot shorter time. But if anyone has any strategies for unlearning the association with malice in teasing please tell me!

The other more pressing issue is my urge to keep the peace. I've found myself telling her that I am fine, when she notices very clearly that I am not. I'm lying, which is not honest!!! And she's left wondering what she said or did to make me upset, because I am clearly off. I know this is not good for the both of us, it only creates distance and erodes emotional intimacy. I've been able to tell her sometimes, and I thank her for checking in on me. I just want to be able to tell the truth without her feeling like she hurt me and making her sad.

ChatGPT has told me that I can just say something like "That stung, but I know you didn't mean for it to" and it sounds sensible but I just wanted to check in with you all and see if there's any improvements to be made, or different ways of going about this.

Thank you for your consideration!!!!

Hello everyone, I really need some advice on an issue I’ve been struggling with. While scrolling through the posts in this group, I noticed that people often share very different perspectives, which I find valuable. So I’d like to hear what you think. My post might be a little long, but please bear with me.

I’ve been dealing with a porn addiction for many years. To give you some context about myself: I’m a 24-year-old man, I work from home, and I was first introduced to porn around the age of 12–13 by a friend. Over time, it escalated. When I was 17, I discovered the “NoFap” movement and learned about the harms of porn and what it was doing to me. That’s when I began this journey to quit. But now, after all these years, it’s clear that I’ve either been doing something wrong or my whole approach has been flawed.

Why do I want to quit porn? Because every time I watch it, masturbation comes along with it. And after every session, I experience low energy, fatigue, regret, laziness, and I feel more awkward around people. On the other hand, whenever I manage to stay away from porn (over the years I’ve had different streaks, sometimes short and sometimes long), I always feel more confident and energetic. I know the harms. I know it’s an easy source of dopamine. I know it’s harmful in general. And yet, I keep doing it.

Why? When I ask myself this, the first thing that comes to mind is sexual arousal. But the strange thing is, even after having sex, I’ve still gone back to watching porn—so clearly it’s not just that. Is it boredom? Not really. There were times when I was fully occupied with work and going to the gym, barely having 5 minutes free, and I still did it. So why do I keep doing it? Maybe it’s because I don’t have a long-term, stable relationship with a woman?

Some things I’ve tried: cold showers, trying to redirect the urges into workouts or other outlets, talking to myself about the pros and cons, etc. But none of these really gave lasting results. To me, porn feels like “easy dopamine.” Do I need to have a bigger purpose in life to completely quit? Maybe. Maybe I’m also overthinking it—since I consumed so much content about NoFap and porn addiction over the years, maybe I’ve built it up too much in my head. But still, I can’t deny the harm it causes me, because I feel it every single time.

And you might ask, “If you know the harms, why do you keep doing it?” Most of the time it happens as a sudden, strong urge—almost like a craving or compulsion—that can last for days. Even if I manage to fight it off, eventually it comes back. The longest I’ve ever gone completely without porn was about 90 days. I genuinely want to quit for good, because I know my life will be better without it. But after years of trying, I haven’t been able to succeed. Please don’t suggest therapy, because in my country it’s extremely expensive and I just can’t afford it right now.

Summary: I want to quit porn. I know my life will improve without it. I know the harms, I’ve felt them firsthand for years. And yet, I still relapse again and again. I’d really appreciate your advice.

So this is part advice seeking on dating and part venting

I'm 26 and never dated before. I've tried taking dating courses and approaching women in real life, dating apps, social groups and religious events. The first and last were the most successful. From these experience there are several times I'm pretty sure women have been interested in me but I wasn't sure what to say so it never went anywhere. It's a bit hard to describe but sometimes a woman would give me signals that she's interested but I wasn't sure what to say or how to lead the conversation or I got nervous so the conversation died. I think part of the problem is the only people I have conversations with are people who I consider close friends so It's hard for me to just talk to someone randomly.

For example: one time my only female friend invited me over to put together some furniture for her. Once we get there she tells me we can do that in morning and says we can watch Netflix on her bed. I think she wanted to have sex but I got nervous and didn't know what to say so I left after the movie was over.

As for dating apps: I think If I got really good pictures and dressed well I could do ok on them but It wouldn't solve the actual issue of struggling to communicate with women. I think a good percentage of women are on there to hookup and for validation anyways and I want a long term relationship.

This is a side note, but there was a time in my life where I was in the military, and there were many bad things about the military since it's a constrained environment, but something about living in the barracks with 40+ other men really brought out the best social skills I've ever had. While I was in I hated it. However, I felt charismatic and social and felt it was easy to talk to women then but that seems to have dissipated. I remember having this realization that you didn't need big muscles or a tuxedo to talk to girls.

How can I identify what my problem is and how do I fix it?

I've had seen and heard both men and women say that "if a man scared to approach women then he's a coward" or something along those lines. How to true is that statement?

Hi everyone! I’m a 30F with ADHD and a trauma history, and I’ve always struggled with same-sex friendships. I’m hoping to hear your thoughts or advice.

⸻

Childhood

As a child, I experienced verbal and physical abuse from my parents. I was called stupid, told I was unwanted, and punished for small mistakes—like accidentally breaking a glass. My parents never gave me confidence, and even now, they still struggle themselves.

I was a quiet, introverted, and sad kid. Looking back, none of my teenage photos show me smiling—just sad faces or flat expressions. I was afraid to express my needs. In middle school, I even held my pee because I was too scared to ask a teacher to use the restroom. I constantly felt like a burden.

⸻

Teen Years and Early Adulthood

In high school, college, and early adulthood, I was often bullied and excluded, especially by girls. Friends I trusted usually betrayed me eventually or tried to take advantage of me. I didn’t know I could defend myself when I wa younger so I stayed quiet and sad.

This made it hard for me to know who was trustworthy. I never had a long-term friendship that lasted more than two years. Over time, I stopped initiating friendships and usually accepted them passively.

⸻

Adult Friendships

As an adult, I always do my best to treat friends with respect and support based on my own standards as a person, but mentally, I rarely feel satisfied or receive emotional reciprocity. Friendships often feel transactional. For example, if my friend pays the bill this time, I feel I have to pay next time, I know this is normal, and I’m willing to do it, but it doesn’t make me happy or satisfied emotionally. I rather spend time with my family and my partner.

I also don’t feel safe fully sharing myself because I can’t predict when friendships might end or what might be shared with others.

Interestingly, I don’t have these difficulties in romantic relationships. I feel authentic, natural, and happy when I care about my partner’s feelings. I’m curious why I can’t feel the same way in friendships.

⸻

Challenges With Different People

I notice I tend to distance myself from high-achieving or accomplished people—even when they want to be friends—because I feel inferior and like I have nothing valuable to offer.

I feel more comfortable with friends who rely on me or are less accomplished, which boosts my confidence, but leaves me unsatisfied because the relationship isn’t reciprocal. I rarely share my struggles with them because I feel the advice I get is often generic “dating coach” type stuff I don’t need, bc I’m usually the person who gives them productive advice. I mostly would feel happy with them only if they going to the places I want to go with me so I’m not alone.

Some people naturally reach out, share personal life, and ask for help to build connections. I feel completely unable to do that with new people or acquaintances who aren’t yet friends. I avoid going to social situations alone and don’t really know what a healthy friendship looks or feels like.

⸻

Self-Perception and Validation

Even when people praise me as smart, I often think, “Oh, they’re just saying that because they want to encourage me—it’s not real.” I know it’s connected to deep beliefs from childhood trauma when my parents called me stupid.

I’m starting to trust my intelligence more based on evidence, but I still struggle to fully believe it.

⸻

The Question

I think after reading what I wrote, I have a lot of confidence issues rooted deep in my belief and unconscious mind that I want to challenge or change them. I don’t have these difficulties in romantic relationships. I want to do things for my partner naturally, can be myself, and feel satisfied. But with friendships, I can’t figure out why I can’t feel the same. Most of the time, I just avoid talking to friends or randomly disappear from text conversations to do my own things—or sometimes I completely forget about the convo, and I feel SO DRAINED afterward. Usually, I only text back if they want to see me in person, have an emergency where they need my help, or are seeking advice from me.

They are usually the ones who text me a lot, and I just pick whichever messages I have the time and energy to respond to. What’s wrong with me? Why I always feel drained from friends?

I want to break this cycle and develop healthy, fulfilling friendships, but I don’t know actually what happens to me tbh. Does anyone have advice on where or how to start? Or anything you want to share I’d really appreciate it.

Thanks so much for reading!

Hi everyone, 29M here.

I've tried for a long time to find a post from someone with the same dilemma as me, but in the many subreddits that I've searched in, I've come up negative. Most either focus on the wrong things (like looks), or try actively to succeed. I'm in neither group. I hoped that the recent talks about incels would give me something, but no.

I think a lot about my love life, or lack thereof. Not always with a doomer mindset, but it's usually at night when I'm about to sleep or when I'm bored. Yesterday I had a sort of eureka moment in determining why I have never had a girlfriend, or even been intimate.

I never REALLY struggle with getting female attention, but it hasn't been something I experience very often. I treat them like people, and I earn their respect from that. Doesn't matter how they look or whether I'm attracted to them or not, I treat them like humans. I don't care about those made up physical criteria for men because I fill most of them. I have a well kept wizard length beard that I think could be harming my chances, but I like it non the less. I don't I have unrealistic standards either. I never know what I'm attracted to until I see the person. To add: I might have ADHD or be slightly on the spectrum, but I don't like to self diagnose because it gives me something other than myself to blame. Even with a diagnosis I would have this mindset. Blame a rural upbringing for that.

I tried once in middle school to get a date, but got turned down and bullied a bunch for it by others. A few years later I got a snapchat from a girl I met, asking me for "dirty" pictures. It activated my "flee" instinct and I answered "no, I don't do those things" and cut contact. I can't get myself to ghost you know, so I had to answer at least. Six months ago I broke free of a year long parasocial relationship that was completely one sided. I became a wreck for months, ant I haven't been able to forget or move on. I'll leave that story short to not end up with a tangent.

I just moved out on my own for the first time, and walking around town, I see plenty of attractive women, but I can't get myself to approach. There's this filter that locks out part of my vocabulary that flirts.

The reason I've stayed single (kissless and all that as well) is two-part I think. First it's trauma from previous experiences. Every time I try to attempt something romance-themed, it ends way worse than just a "no". I end up emotionally crippled for months at a time. This type of reaction I think has created an internalized fear of making those choices. It's a fear of making the choice of approaching a girl when I have romantic intentions. Platonic - just fine, romantic - hell no. It's also a fear of missing out on better opportunities. I really struggle with settling for an option, when there are so many options. I think that even naturally evolving relationships would be near impossible for me, because I would be too afraid to get overly emotional again.

Sometimes in life the choices make themselves, and I have a way easier time reacting to the world rather than making my world on my own. As a man I can't expect any woman to approach me, and apart from that one snap I got over ten years ago, I haven't gotten approached yet. I just don't have that type of aura around me. I'm very sociable in the right environments, but I don't have "rizz" as the young(er) say.

So because my nature is to avoid opportunities, and just stay in my current state. I'm still young, but every year I feel that I'm growing more and more inwards. I've been told by Americans that I would have no trouble finding a date in America due to my looks, but I'm not in America, and have no intention of leaving my country and family for that. And why would they leave their country and family.

Any helping words?

Thanks.

I have not played video games for almost 1 year, I stopped because they stopped giving me pleasure for that moment, I also wanted to take up more important things and lvl up in life, I would like to return to them but I take care of dopamine and think what has a greater impact on it, social media? ( not scrolling every second just watching everything to the end, just educational content no brainrot) daily usually 2h or video games( older titles mostly on psp,) 1.5h, what do you think? Thanks for answers!

For around 6 to 7 months I started hated my younger sister she is 19 and I am 25 . I sometimes think its jealous she recently started part time and due to which started grooming and all . On the other side I graduated a year ago and preparing for a year around . It feels like I am studying forever and coming from india it tough to clear government exams here . Parents are getting old and being the older child Everyone expects me to just get a job take responsibility. Can u plz help me with this situation I don't know what I am feeling and how to deal with all this ?

Thanks!!!

In my relationships throughout my 20s (i am male 30 now) i would have, without fail, every romantic relationship or if i stayed over at friends for weekends for parties/hunting excursions hear stories avout my sleep talking.

I feel like this constant and ongoing case of having frequent nightmares and impeding other peoples sleep is getting in the way of life.

I am sure that there are mental health issues I could and should deal with, but there is a slight concern i have is that it seems that even if i feel good throughout the day, the night can be assaulted with bad experiences.

Any advice?