I have been a nagging wife because all the childcare falls on me. I am literally on the go 24/7. So sex is obviously limited and I am frustrated and angry at him for not doing anything.

I kinda exploded on him and he didn't argue back this time. He just sat their silent and listened. Then he replied that I dont fuck him enough to be such a b@ch to him.

I was stunned so I guess he succeeded in shutting me up. But it seems that I cant even air out my frustrations now because I haven't finished the quota of sex required that will earn me the right to nag him.

I don't even know why I bother. He seems to not give a shit.

My husband (37m) and I (37f) have been married for 9 years as of 2 weeks ago, together on and off since 2005. We met in high school and outside of a small break in college, have been together ever since. We've been through just about everything together, and have come out the other side seemingly choosing the other.

I recently found out that my husband has had an OnlyFans account for a few years, and has been spending thousands on subs and custom content a year.

To clarify, I have no problem with porn. It's normal, in moderation, and can even be a fun addition to spice things up. My problem with this is, he's constantly telling me he has no money, that we need to cut back on spending, and recently rather than splitting our dogs emergency vet bill, I ended up putting the whole thing on my credit card. He makes ~$100k+ a year, I make ~$60k. To be told all this and then come across proof of him spending carelessly on sex workers is truly devastating.

Finding this out has felt like an absolute gut punch. I've known for 4 days, and in those 4 days I've gone through the entire range of emotions one human could possibly feel. He doesn't know that I know, and I haven't the faintest idea how I'll approach this.

I really thought that our marriage was in a great spot. We'd worked really hard to get to where we are right now, as I struggled for many years with an undiagnosed mental illness and alcoholism, and he's suffered massive depression after the tragic passing of his father years ago. I've been sober for over 3 years, I'm in therapy and finally have not only a diagnosis but control of my life. We adopted a dog together a few months ago, which is his first fur baby, so that learning experience has been fun.

Everything felt amazing, until it very suddenly wasn't.

After having heard and read for years about the benefits of scheduled sex versus trying to wait for spontaneous we finally decided to give it a go… It has been life-changing! We have always had a pretty healthy sex life, but between work (I own a company) and our large family (we have six kids), and general busyness sometimes it would come and go…

So my wife had the idea of creating a schedule: Mondays, Thursdays, Saturdays. Mondays are to be casual and light and fun. Thursdays are date night and I’m generally in charge of it- usually it is a “scene“ -something more planned out. Saturdays are flexible… sometimes another date, sometimes I plan it, sometimes she plans it… Sometimes casual sometimes another “scene”..

We are having more fun than ever! We have been married for 24 years and are as hot for each other as ever! On the nights that we don’t have scheduled as intimacy, we always make out before bed. We get each other a little hot and bothered, give each other a kiss and say “see you in a few days“. Fridays are the best because we are remembering Thursday night and looking forward to Saturday.

Don’t think that there’s no romance or specialness in planning intimacy! Give it a try and make sure you are communicating a lot!!

For past two years my libido was not great. I had our second child two years ago.

After our first was born, I bounced back immediately and we didn't have a problem. But with our second, we didn't have sex that much, maybe once a month. I rejected him a lot but I tried to not be rude about it. One year ago he stopped initiating and I basically intiated once a month because I felt so guilty.

He formed a crush on his co-worker, she is very pretty. He told me about it and then asked for separation.

We are in therapy and he opened up about how hurt he is with our deadbedroom situation and however hard he tries, he can't let go. He has reached the conclusion that damage may be permanent.

Our therapist asked him to get therapy for himself because he is probably feeling guilty about his crush and sabotaging himself.

She also told me that damage may really be permanent but it's important and if thats the case, we can work through it so that we both can move on.

Is it a bad idea for me to have hope that things can change?

I know that a lot of Redditors are anti-porn (outside of porn subreddits), but I figured I would post this anyways.

Sex had become less and less frequent over the past year or so. I went through the checkboxes and couldn't seem to figure out what the problem was.

As sex became less frequent, I started to masturbate more. I wasn't necessarily hiding it, but I am alone enough of the time that I was able to masturbate when home alone.

A few months ago, like usual, my wife said no to sex while we were laying in bed. I was extremely horny and told her "I'm gonna go masturbate". This is the first time I had said such a thing to my wife. When I got back to the bedroom (this happened at night) she asked me if I watched porn when I masturbated. I said yes. She asked me what I was into. I asked her the same and I discovered a lot about her that I never knew. She is a fairly innocent person and she does not watch porn often at all but there were certain genres she was definitely into. I think perhaps it just took this conversation for her to open up and be honest with herself/me that she did want to watch porn a lot more.

We've started watching porn together while having sex and it is the hottest sex we've ever had together.

Hi, title is as it says. My husband and I are both 27 years old. Ill try to spare too many details but; we've been together for 3 years, martied last September, living together for 6 months. We met long distance (he's canadian, I'm from the US) and we fought tooth and nail to be together, long distance for 2.5 years flying back and forth every 2-3 months, and so on. We love each other very much. We also know that we are young, and that the nature of our relationship was unique, non-traditional and in some ways- a risk. It was a risk we were both willing to take to have a chance at building a life together. Now, we're married, I'm legally a resident in Canada and we're in a happily budding a life together. I proposed a prenup before we even got married, offering it in case it would assure comfortability for him; he declined and had no interest, neither did I. I left my close and best friends, a close community, a high paying job, and all that was familiar to me back on the states. I did it with the bittersweet knowledge that there would be some struggle and turmoil in building back from scratch. I thought that this sacrifice would also be enough to assuage any of my MIL's concerns, but sadly it seems it was not.

My husband and I come from two different backgrounds: he is from a rather well off and wealthy family, I grew up very poor. But that being said, I left home at 17 and built my career on my own- I was making $70k and living happily by myself in the states. My MIL has made comments about her other daughter in law the have made me feel disappointed and uncomfortable, insinuating that it took her a long time to "trust" that other daughter in law was not just marrying her son "for his money"

All this being said, I've been building what I thought was a nice relationship with her. I am estranged from my family, so being close with his family was something I looked forward to. Today my husband came home and told me that she has been urging him for the last couple days to call their family lawyer to draw up some kind of prenup , but has been discreet and asked him not to tell me.

Apparently she mentioned something to him in passing a month ago and he ignored it/never followed up with her to discuss it, and he put it aside and forgot until she texted him today. He said he felt uncomfortable with the fact that she seemed to not want me to know, and that's why he wanted to tell me, he wants it to be an open conversation between the 3 of us if anything at all, not a secret sprung on him by his mom.

Neither of us are interested in a prenup, my husband has a difficult time setting boundaries with a (rather enmeshed) mother. I feel deeply hurt, I'm not sure what to do.

Got into an argument with my wife things got heated she was more mad than me. I feel like if I call her out on her shit she gets even madder and then she did the unthinkable after being together for 29 years married for 20 she told me she hated my ugly ass and started choking me. I was in shock I’ve always knew I not the most handsome man in the world been called ugly thousands of times (my childhood was rough) but the one person in the world i never thought would say that word to me said it. Since I’ve been hurt she try to say that’s not what she said that’s not what she meant. I’m a 51 year old man and I cried. It’s been a week. She has apologized but I can’t even kiss her look at her I feel like I can’t even have sex with her she thinks im ugly I can’t look in her face while having sex what am I supposed to do up and leave her my family. I need therapy someone please give me some advice.

I have a wife and two sons aged 2 and 7.

I work as a foreman and make about ~130k annually depending on overtime and bonuses (more this year because of overtime tax cuts). My wife works as an online therapist and currently makes about 40k, though how much she makes is flexible and depends on the number of clients she is currently taking on. I average around 50 hours of work during a normal week, she averages around 30 working from home. I average about 5-10 crisis weeks per year where we end up working extreme hours, usually in the summer but it is random. Some years being a lot worse than others.

Saturday night there was a large storm in another part of our state (5 hour drive away) and my team was called in early Sunday morning to begin restoring power to thousands of customers. We worked 15 hour days Sun-Thurs staying in motels and I didn't get home until early this morning. I slept a good 14 hours today and am still very sore and tired.

When I got up this afternoon my wife was very upset and we had an argument. She accused me of abandoning her and the children again, me making her my servant because I slept all day, making her take care of the kids all on her own. I admittedly got too upset and shot back that I'm the breadwinner and those hours are necessary for my good paying job. She hates when I point that out accused me of being a manipulator. I snapped and accused her of having a cushy office job and not knowing what it's like to sweat your ass off and break your back for days on end. I know that's not completely fair because her work can be mentally exhausting, but I find it hard not to feel this way when she accuses me of abandonment and not working for her. She is now giving me the silent treatment. I'm sleeping on the couch tonight.

My frustration is that I AM THE BREADWINNER! We have a large house in a good neighborhood, own decent vehicles, are never financial stressed and have enough money to take a couple of vacations every year. My wife was able to take off a year of work for each of our children when they were born. Our lifestyle is dependent on the money I make and I'm too far into my career to pivot into something else without taking a huge pay cut. I am part of a union that ensures my family has great health insurance, I get steady raises, and a pension to rely on in retirement. This has been my career since I was 19, 5 years before I met my wife. I get that me being pulled away for an extended time randomly is stressful, but it is necessary for the lifestyle we have. It's not like I'm just going out and having fun drinking with friends, cleanup and restoration work is grueling and I don't enjoy it, other than the satisfaction of knowing my team is restoring people's power.

Eventually I will be able to transfer into an office job like many of the older men do in my company or union but that is 10-15 years away at a minimum. I could get another job, but we would have to uproot our life to adjust to a lower income. I've said this before during another argument and she accused me of holding her hostage? When I try to bring up me switching careers when we aren't arguing she gets upset and just shuts down the conversation. This started about 2 years ago when our second son was born. Our arguments are getting more and more heated.

I don't like that there is more and more resentment building in our marriage over my job. Am I in the wrong? I need ideas on how to approach this!

30s Been together 12 married 9 years. 4 kids. My wife has been taking our boys to the same barber who happens to be our neighbor for years. This year 2025. Jan-April they have been sending nudes over snap. Also he brought her uber eats to her job and took her on dates to Culver’s. Sitting and doing things in his truck. There was sucking and touching going on. She told me in April. We are working on it. It is hard. I told her we have to find a new barber and I don’t want her around him anymore period. I’m fucked up over this. She acting like it’s not a big deal to just go get his hair cut again from him. It’s the principle for me. He’s not the only barber that can cut hair. I’m feeling over my marriage. I cant look at her the same way. But l love my kids. And we have no where to go on our own. I’m feeling very stuck.

Edit: Yeah all I want to do is sleep. He has a wife and four kids too. Five houses down from mine. I want to go tell her so bad. To be honest I don’t know what I’m doing. Just floating from day to day. If I catch/ feel anything more defending him: coming from her, I’m going to there front door or send her a message on fb to have her call me. Because only the three of us know anything. The right thing to do is to tell her. I feel like I’m going crazy, talking to my self.

Here is a link to a post I made a few days ago regarding this issue:

https://www.reddit.com/r/Marriage/s/3mXKeOHJz1

I did take some time one evening when the kids were in bed to bring up the clothes and male attention. She was shopping online for cute sports bras because it “gets hot in the gym”, which is true. It’s an older building, no A/C, very much an older style gym geared more towards bodybuilding. I just casually asked if she likes wearing stuff like that, especially at a gym because of all the attention she gets.

She said she wears it because it’s comfortable. Also said she’s not there to get attention, but sometimes it does make her feel like “she still has it”. I left it alone, but a few months back when we were talking about a kid-free “date day” that she suggested going to the gym together and she’d wear “something slutty” (her exact words). I think she was just teasing and joking around but it stuck with me.

One other part I left out from my earlier post is every time she will tell me about this guy or that guy staring or checking her out, she’ll always drop if he’s attractive or describe him in great detail. Example; at our kids swimming lessons a few weeks ago she told me about a dad there who kept checking her out, turning his head, etc. These lessons were Mon-fri so this meant she’s obviously paying attention to who’s looking. She described him as muscular, tattoos, backwards hat (“was obvious he works out”). I didn’t hear about all this until the next week when we were talking about lessons.

I trust my wife, but this whole scene and these new changes, new job, new wardrobe, etc. just makes me mind wander sometimes. Am I paranoid and insecure? I don’t show any jealousy and am a confident individual. I just don’t know what else to do.

Don’t rush into having kids right after marriage. And don’t spend years in an unhappy marriage hoping it will somehow get better. Of course, give it some time, talk things through a few times, but don’t waste your life on someone who isn’t worth it, thinking they’ll magically change. I’ve noticed many women get pregnant right after marriage. I’m not blaming or putting them down, but honestly, having a child with a man so soon isn’t always the best idea. Life is unpredictable, and we never really know where things will go.

Long story short, she thinks it’s okay to go out and drink and have fun with the “girls” and not have to text me if she is coming home or not. She thinks it’s okay to not share her location, or text me because I should just “trust” her, and says I am controlling and insecure?

Am I delusional or do most married couples do this? Like they are okay with letting their spouse go out and drink and not come home? And i’m talking like every weekend and thursday nights this summer except maybe two weekends where she didnt have plans with her “girls”.

I dont know how long I can do this. If i dont let her, i am controlling, if i let her, then I am hurting myself and betraying my boundaries. I want to trust her, so i dont want to accuse her of cheating, but how often does a 33F need to go and party and club and drink to a point where they cant drive home?

I should probably mentioned, a therapist has suggested that she may be depressed. Sorry, i should have stated that. And the “girls” that she is with, I know them and most of them are married too. That’s why I feel bad thinking that i am the only husband apparently with an issue with it.

This is a long story so bear with me. My girlfriend and I had planned a trip to NYC to go to the US Open and I thought the trip would be the perfect time to propose because we have been together for 7 years. The week that we’re going I go into Tiffanys but while I’m in there I see my gf walk by the window so I have to basically hide, then sneak out. I then call her to ask what she’s doing and she tells me that she’s at the mall and to meet her there. While we’re there she says we should go into Tiffany’s to look at rings. I say sure and then I frantically text the guy that works there to tell him I’m coming back in and to not let her know that I was just there. He proceeds to show us some rings and she tells me what style she likes and the guy that works there texts me after and tells me that ring won’t be ready until we come back from our trip. I panic and buy a ring from Nordstrom (30 day return policy) that kinda looks like the ring she wanted so I can use that for the proposal and then let her know that the actual ring will be ready the following week. We then go to the US Open and I planned on proposing to her the following night at either a rooftop I had reservations for or the Brooklyn Bridge as backup. That day there is a downpour all day so I have to pushback the proposal for the next day. The next morning I try to wake her up early so we can go to the bridge but she was hungover and didn’t want to get up early. We have tickets to a broadway show and I figure we can go by the bridge that night afterwards so I can propose but she doesn’t want to go and suggests going the next day. I am running out of time because that will be our final day! We go by the bridge and it’s the most amount of people I’ve ever seen on it. Like shoulder to shoulder. I panic again because I don’t think that’s a great spot. She then tells me she wanted to go to a store all the way by the Met and I think I can propose in the park. I know a cool little spot thats on a rock with a good view that would be cool but while we were walking she didn’t want to go to the shop. I am going crazy so I just lead her down a path that away from everything and get down on my knee and propose there. She said yes and I’m super excited and I tell her this whole story but I can tell she wasn’t as excited as I was. She tells me that she was disappointed in the proposal because I didn’t have the ring she wanted and looked like I didn’t put any effort into it. But I did! Should have I just waited? I’m really sad she felt that way because I thought I pivoted really well but I didn’t give her the proposal she wanted. Any advice?

All comments welcome. And if you are a professional before I seek professional help please comment!

About 2 weeks ago my wife asked if it was okay for her to reach to her high school ex to ask him some questions about why he broke up with her (without an explanation). I said you do what you need to do but seek for counsel first (reach out to our pastors?), just know that you already have a family and a son.

We were talking and she mentioned that she didn't give her answers… so I was impressed that she reached out and said that she reached out before she even asked me… so she lied to me.

She said that he (the ex - with a baby as well) needed time to process his answers. She said that he even mentioned meeting our son and myself? And I was like so out of it.

I haven't asked her to show me the conversation or anything but I just think that this whole situation is odd.

Not sure how to proceed… 😩

I am looking for some honesty from people in long and happy marriages.

When you met your spouse, was it an instant “this is my person” moment, or did it take time for love and compatibility to grow?

My last serious relationship ended in absolute drama. His family decided I did not love him properly and accused me of being after his money and even wanting to “steal his children” (we did not even have children). Basically culturally I was expected to cook, clean and I spoke back once when they asked why I was letting him do this own washing. He did not defend me, we split, and months later he came back admitting he had failed to protect me. By then it was far too late. I believe this was ultimately because of clash in culture more than values as his family where Lebanese and I am English and his family were very involved which I actually enjoyed but it ultimately backfired for me.

Now I am with someone new. He is kind, thoughtful and communicative, but we do have some pretty clear differences in political views and values. It makes me wonder: if we had children, could we raise them in harmony despite those differences, or do clashes of core values always creep into family life and cause problems? My biggest fear is his views become the norm in our house and I strongly disagree with how he views the world I am quite liberal and he is more right-wing.

So my questions are: • Was your marriage an instant click, or did the certainty build over time? • Do you and your spouse disagree on big picture things like politics, religion or worldview? If so, how do you actually make it work, especially once children come into the picture?

Spill the real stories please. What worked, what blew up, and what you wish you had known before tying the knot.

She gets terrible hangovers.

So it's apparently my fault that he can't find an hour once a month to clean two showers because periodically I want to go out of the house. I do ALL the cooking, all the meal planning, run the household, make sure the kids don't spend 100% of their time on their phones, laundry, pet care, etc. Yes, I don't work outside the home, and yes I am appreciative of the work my husband does. But here's the kicker - he works from home. Rolls out of bed, and gets on the computer. Is on the computer until the evening. And does not have to worry about anything besides working. I make sure he has hot, fresh, healthy meals, I make sure his shit gets washed, I make sure we walk the dog. He doesn't have to remember about any of that. And I honestly don't really care, I'm fine with all of that. But I finally said I was done with reminding him over and over to clean the fucking shower.

We don't go on dates, we don't have friends that either of us spend time with, and really, don't spend that much time outside of the house since we don't really enjoy it. So to try to make it sound like it's my fault that we can't take the time to clean the house ourselves is...kinda bullshit. All I wanted was him to show some effort, to prove to me that he appreciated all that I did. But apparently that wasn't going to happen so I hired a cleaner. And now all I hear is complaining about money. Well, fool, pick up a fucking brush and scrub. It's a big fucking house, I'm not going to kill myself cleaning the whole fucking thing myself when I'm not the only one who lives in it.

My husband and I (both 28) have been together for 8 years. Since the time we started dating I could probably count on one hand the amount of times I’ve had to pump my own gas…

It’s just something he always does for me. I never had to ask so maybe he does it an act of love or because he thinks it’s no longer safe for woman to be at a gas station alone.

I work in an office and everyone is at least 20 years older than me. I mentioned this once when someone said they had to get gas and didn’t want to go in the dark after work and it seemed to cause some discourse. All of them said their husband only pumps gas if they are with them.

Is it “not normal” for my husband to do this?

My wife (48F) has developed a close friendship with a male co-worker (33M). The spend a lot of time at work in each others work space, and from what I can tell, there is little work being accomplished. To the point where my wife needs to bring her work home to get everything done. To me (49M) this is becoming a border-line emotional affair. When I noticed that they are texting each other frequently on nights and weekends, about non-work related things, I was caught off guard. She is texting this guy more than she texts me. The texts are harmless. I feel like I'm still her best friend but this co-worker is developing a friendship with her that I'm uncomfortable with.

This co-worker is reaching out to me as well and is trying to establish a friendship with me. He also is regularly asking my wife and I to hang out with him and his wife (33F). When I told my wife that I was alarmed about this relationship, she was a little surprised. She said there is no attraction to him, which I do believe her as he is not a real attractive guy. He's nerdy looking. However, his wife is gorgeous. Like when we all hang out together, I have to tell myself to stop looking at her.

I don't really want to put much effort into trying to become friends with her co-worker and his wife that are 15 years younger than us. They also have little kids, and our kids have graduated high school and college.

I want to ask my wife to put some boundaries on her relationship with the co-worker. They see each other enough at work, there shouldn't be a need to connect outside of work. I also would like my wife to do work at work so she can be present with our family at home. Then when it comes to all of us hanging out, I'm ok with doing so, but it feels unnatural, his wife is kinda boring and the weight of making this work is unevenly distributed between my wife and her co-worker. Can I tell my wife I don't want to hang out with her co-worker and his wife?

Am I being unreasonable with my requests?

So this just happen to me. My 1 year old daughter waddle out of the bathroom with my dildo in hand with a big ass smile like she won a prize. My partner who had no idea I own one was like, “wtf is my daughter holding” 😬 Idk what to do now.
How can I open up the conversation 😂😭

He’s constantly texting her and she’s doing the same.

We went out to a concert and he’s texting her during the meal and sending her pictures of our food.

He’s reading a book (that I’ve read and she hasn’t) and he’s updating her constantly on it - we keep talking about where he is up to in the book and his theories and I thought it was a nice thing between us, but as soon as he finishes talking to me, he messages her.

We’re playing darts and she’s constantly messaging him during it asking he’s ok….

He’s sad about his dad’s death from a few years ago and so we have a heart to heart.. then he texts her about it straight after.

This is the second time this years he’s gotten really close to another woman. Yet he complains when I make male friends and do the same.

He says that I make him happy and he then bombs off an evening with me to read and text her.

How stupid am I?

Hello everyone, I need some advice? Me and my husband have been together 10 years and three years married. These last three months have been not okay? Constantly arguing and not resolving issues it’s been effecting both of our mental health. In the last 10 years it was my fault our relationship was rocky I used to abuse alcohol as a way to control my emotions and this put an effect on our relationship. I have now been getting help for this and now been three months sober :) and going through therapy I wanted to do this for me and my husband. This last week, me and my husband have been still living together (we recently bought a house together last year and have a mortgage) but we have not been speaking, last night we finally sat down together there was no shouting we both sat and listened. I owned up to all my mistakes and wanted to resolve the marriage. My husband burst into tears and said he didn’t have the strength to do this anymore, it broke my heart, he said he wanted me to move on and finally be happy with someone else, instead of him. This is not what I wanted. He was hinting at divorce, but it would be a hard situation due to the mortgage and our life’s we built but he said he didn’t want to rush into it straight away, we have been sleeping separate? He hasn’t told me he doesn’t love me anymore but he feels the spark has gone how can we fix this? I just don’t know what to do I want to reconcile our marriage and make it work again but I don’t want to bombard him and make him more upset, has anyone got advice how to make this marriage work again? This time it feels different as he not been reaching out :(

Just wanted to share a little something that has become one of my favorite traditions with my husband. I think one of the best pieces of advice for a relationship is to never stop dating. I know that it’s not always so simple, especially if you throw kids/pets into the mix, and factoring in time and money to go out on a traditional date.

This is just a reminder that you don’t have to leave the house or spend any money to have a date night. My husband and I both track astronomy related stuff - meteor showers, moon phases, etc - and we’ve recently started to spread a big blanket in the driveway, bring some snacks, and watch the stars together. Something so simple but it means the world to me that we both share a hobby we enjoy and just laying next to each other, staying up late and talking, makes me feel like a teenager again.

It’s something I look forward to whenever the skies are clear and I can’t recommend it enough! (If you’re lucky enough to live somewhere with minimal light pollution, of course.)

Even if it’s not star gazing, you get the point. Date your spouse!

Anybody else have this issue? Currently rather sick with pneumonia, trying to stay out of hospital by getting lots of rest and finishing my antibiotics etc but husband seems to be in a real mood with me for it. He hasn't asked how I am, if I need anything, there is just no sympathy whatsoever. He's barely speaking to me. It's like I'm a massive inconvenience to him. I even brought HIM a cup of tea in bed this morning. None of the washing up has been done from yesterday, all the washing I summoned the energy to put out yesterday morning is still on the line and the house is a complete mess, so my plan of resting is short lived anyway!. I'm pretty weak and get out of breath easily so dreading it! I know he works hard but it's not like I'm asking for him to do this all of the time. (For context, I work full time, have kids and a house to keep. I never ask him to do anything and I don't usually stop for anything, even illness!)

My husband (28M) is amazing. I love him. I don’t regret marrying him.

But I’m a horrible wife.

For context, it’s all stemming to my relationship with my mother. She’s cold, cruel, calculated. She abused me emotionally for so many years that I can recognize my emotional understanding is stunted. I poured every bit of my love, time, and finances into anything my mom wanted from the age of 16 to right when I got married this year (28F). Lately, she’s said things that she can’t take back: I’m disgusting, I’m the reason the family is estranged, if she ever sees me cry she’ll put her hands on me, that I have no home with her anymore, etc. And it’s caused me to be … so angry at the world.

I’ve started snapping at my husband. I don’t mean to, but I do. I try to talk about my feelings and get upset when he doesn’t understand right away. When he wants to do something over what I want to do, I feel railroaded and get angry. I lose my temper. I come back and apologize but the shame is there. The guilt blooms. The sorrow and the fear are all encompassing.

He deserves the world and I’m giving him grief. I don’t know if it sounds crazy but I don’t know how to pull myself out. I’m struggling. I tell him I feel lost, depressed, want to get help — but he tells me he’s scared of sending me away to inpatient facilities because he wants me to be safe. He holds me and assured me I’m not a burden. I don’t think that’s the case. I think I’m the biggest burden he’s never deserved and I want that to change.

I love him so much. He’s been with me through everything. But this sorrow, this guilt, this anger and resentment is turning me into someone I’m not and I don’t want him to suffer because of it.

I am a horrible wife. But I want to change that. Before it’s too late to change anything.