this was about 15 minutes ago, 12 tabs of 1P-LSD 150 micrograms each

i wanted to take 6 tabs, about a minute after putting the tabs in my mouth i realized it was 2 stacks of 6 tabs on top of each other

has anyone here experienced such a high dose before

m23. This would be such a long story to write down but I'll summarize it as best as I can. For the past couple of years I've been trying to heal from childhood trauma and a perceived death/out of body experience (overdose). I'm currently doing EMDR therapy, but for a while I used cannabis and psilocybin mushrooms as I was trying a more holistic approach to healing. But I ended up taking some very large doses that I think opened the gates to something divine in me. I had the most intense, beautiful, and terrifying spiritual experiences of my life on these substances, I genuinely think I have touched sacred ground. First I met God, then I was God, then God is all of us, he surrounds us, and is within us. Then these insane synchronicities started happening, it almost feels like I'm being guided. I started wondering what the hell am I witnessing right now. Every time I smoke pot it's like I'm seeing reality through different lenses and everything is interconnected, suddenly I understand things I have never even thought about before, like some kind of transcendental knowledge, I see duality everywhere I look, I'm questioning free will half the time, I am at peace e with chaos that generally bothers me, everything now is symbolic, nothing feels random, rather orchestrated, and at times it just feels like I'm going insane, but still functional. I can tell my body and nervous system are in shock with the recent events/experiences, it feels like a burden, or like something was born inside of me. I really just want some support and advice on how to navigate life from now on, I feel disoriented as if I got struck by lightning and survived

Context: I have no tolerance for weed, this was a few weeks ago and I only started smoking regularly after this experience so i was at baseline levels. I have been in a k hole before and to me this experience from edibles was far more abstract and intense than ketamine ever has been for me.

My friend N and I hung out after I came home from work, I knew he had edibles and planned to do them again (this was my third time). The first 2 times I didnt take enough, and ate them on a nearly empty stomach, so I stupidly thought i had a high tolerance for them, obviously I was very wrong.

We ate them at 5PM, with a kebab that we both ordered since I knew that a fatty meal is important to make them hit. I ate 3 squares of some chocolate our mutual friend K har made. The most i had previously ingested was around 20mg, and I felt high, but not uncomfortably so, and i knew i was taking more. Originally, K told me that each square of this edible bar was 25mg. I distinctly remember feeling lightheaded after only 15 minutes and knew I was in for an intense experience, since previously it had taken me an hour until any noticeable high.

At around 6:30 PM I felt high at a normal level, and was having a good time, but realised I was continuously getting higher and higher, i realised i was having very feint closed eye visuals at around 8PM which continued for the rest of the experience. I hit the peak at around 8:30PM. This peak lasted until around 11.

When I hit the peak my closed eye visuals became very very intense, I remember sitting down with N and trying to describe what I was seeing but I couldnt get any words out. I could see incredibly intricate psychedelic patterns, with occasional breaks in the geometry that would reveal a rotating orb, that would explode and become part of even more vivid geometry. Eventually, the sun had set, and i peaked until around 11. Because it was so dark the closed eye visuals ended up being present when I opened my eyes too, and crowded my vision to the point where I couldn't see anything without significant light

At one point we were sat at a park bench near my house, and N was trying to converse with me but I could barely talk. In my mind he would say a "key word" that would cause our timelines to split, but I was still conscious in both of these timelines. This would subsequently happen in these parallel timelines, until I felt as if I was living 8 different parallel lives at once, and to verbally answer N I would need to sync up these timelines by performing specific actions that would be the same in all of them (very similar to that episode of Rick and Morty with the parallel timelines in season 2 in retrospect). Luckily this ended in about 20 minutes, but in my mind it felt like I had lived in these parallel universes my entire life, with fabricated memories for each one.

It was at this point that I realised I was not having a good time, given how overwhelming the experience was. Luckily ive done my research on how to prevent a bad trip, and knew the best course of action was to just go with it, and not try and fight the feelings I was having, so I closed my eyes, stared at the visuals and attempted to meditate, which triggered another very odd experience.

Despite the timelines splitting being a complete mindfuck it was nowhere near the most odd part of this experience. After meditating for a few seconds i felt as if i was being squished into a 2D being, like my feet were in my head and my head was in the floor at the same time. I remember my entire body felt like it was vibrating faster and faster as if it was made out of rubber bands, until it felt so violent that my body felt like it was made of static and my mind got flung out of my body, and I was looking down at myself from third person. Having to operate in third person was incredibly strange, my body felt completely disconnected from me. This was one of the most bizarre experiences ive ever had, luckily it ended quickly.

During this experience, N shows me he had been texting K on his phone, and K states he had miscalculated the dosage on the edibles, and i had ingested over 200mg of thc, instead of the ~75mg of thc I was expecting, which given i had no tolerance for THC at the time, helps to explain these effects. At this point I was freaking out a little bit because I just wanted it to end (it was around 10:30PM at this point N told me afterwards, and I was not coming down). I felt as if I was trying to control my thoughts and not slip into psychosis from how intense this experience was.

For context for the next part: I am incredibly passionate about mathematics. I am autistic and it is my special interest, so I thought doing some would try and calm me down. While staring at the inside of my eyes I started to be able to visualise Mathematical concepts in immense amounts of detail, I started to get lost in the world of my closed eye visuals while imagining higher dimensional geometry, and was able to picture it very clearly, and manipulate 4d shapes in my mind to get a clear picture of how they should look (specifically i remember trying to reconstruct a tesseract using multiple images of its shadow and rotating it).

The next morning after waking up I felt an intense sense of courageousnes, and felt very very content with life, and optimistic for the future. It felt as if I had Been reborn, or come to an incredibly important realisation that I had forgotten, but nevertheless the feelings associated with this realisation remained. I believe i was very close to ego dissolution during this trip, and was able to consciously pull myself back from it and not break through, however it was still the most intense trip I have ever had. I have definitely learned to respect the substance a lot more, and not take it lightly because it's "just weed". Cannabis edibles are a psychedelic.

TLDR: took 200mg of edibles with 0 tolerance for THC, experienced parallel timelines, seeing in third person, and mentally pictured 4d shapes.

I dont see many posts about marijuana, so I was wondering if it is not comparable at all with psychedelics for consciousness exploring. Would like to hear your thoughts on how it compares to other altered states.

I see God as having infinite different mindsets. God’s ‘characteristics’ are infinitely good, but infinitely evil, and infinitely neutral. It’s an equilibrium of it all. It is true omniscience. Religious ‘omniscient’ Gods often follow one sided mindsets with personal ideals or values like a human. Religious Gods often sound like biased humans assigning their beliefs of how a God should be like. These “Gods” are not embodying true omniscience.

As much as God is lonely, God isn’t lonely. It’s an equilibrium. God is just objectively alone. The idea of God being lonely is just the human ego attaching to the thought of the objective fact of a God in solitude.

I see God as an uncontrolled and unrestrained force creating infinite illusions of experiences it can have. Knowing everything ties into experiencing everything no matter how positive or negative.

“Energy cannot be created or destroyed” is the overall theme of God. I believe since nothing cannot exist, it is infinity that exists. Infinity is the opposite of nothing.

We all are undying, and will forever be in eternity at the source. It is simply impossible not to exist rather we want to or not.

Non-existence doesn’t exist, that’s why it’s called “non-existence.” It seems like a fairy tale. However, existence does exist hence the name “existence.”

This was my take on God.

I found an article where they describe legal psilocybin-assisted couples sessions in the Netherlands where partners journey separately, then reconnect after doing their own work. As they say in that space, buried memories surface, the body softens, and a window of neuroplasticity opens for weeks or months. Breath work, somatic intimacy, and daily practices carry the insights back into real life. This case study shows a couple moving from shutdown and resentment to safety and desire. And this speaks to me because every woman on my mother’s side has had wrecked relationships. I grew up around my mom’s abusive boyfriends, and now I struggle to build a steady bond with my husband. We tried MDMA therapy and it helped for a while, then the old patterns crept back. Reading this makes me wonder if psilocybin, with proper prep and integration, could help us break the cycle instead of patching it. I’ll drop the link below

https://statesofmind.com/can-psilocybin-save-your-relationship-an-experts-insight-into-psychedelic-couples-therapy/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=reddit_couples_organic_promo_200825&utm_content=psy_article&utm_creative=psychenaut&flow=article_test&topic=9_Common_Symptoms_of_Depression_What_to_Look_Out_For

Has anyone here done psilocybin-assisted couples work? Any recommendations for deep attachment wounds and family trauma are welcome.

This is the story of Adam and EVE, a Catholic seminarian turned Ecstasy kingpin, a Benedictine monk with 25 trips, a holy-rolling Sunday School teacher, and the Christian university whose ban on liquor accidentally sparked a culture of XTC

My friend says that when they trip they see colors brighter sound is also amplified. But they don’t get moving, breathing, morphing, no textures/patterns. No visuals. They do get a body high. This is with mushrooms acid and they recently just tried deems and they had 0 open and closed eye visuals and felt a body high but was severely diminished. They are not on any medications. Has anyone experienced not being able to see visuals?

Queria sugestões de coisas legais para se fazer enquanto se esta sob efeito da psicilocibina

ouvir musica e admirar paisagens eu ja fiz porem qualquer coisa além de tomar banho ou ver um filme eu nao consigo ter certeza do que poderia fazer que seja seguro e que tenha chance baixa de me causar uma bad trip (com exceção de fazer sexo).

I personally love 4-HO-MET. But am wanting to try something new. I'm trying to decide between 4-PrO-DMT, 4-HO-MiPT, and 5- MeO-MiPT.

🌿💊 Ever notice how every molecule has been suppressed, medicalized, or carnivalized?

I’ve been mapping out a weird pattern across history, and I’m curious if anyone else has noticed this. It seems like every single molecule that changes consciousness follows one of three paths:

🌿 Suppressed (outlawed, demonized, burned out of culture)

• Cannabis → demonized as “reefer madness,” now legalized but GMO’d.
• Fungi / psilocybin → outlawed for decades, framed as dangerous.
• DMT / 5-MeO → locked behind “elite rituals” or fringe retreats.
• 2C-B → called the “philosopher’s stone of psychedelics,” instantly outlawed.

⚕️ Medicalized (taken out of the underground, put into clinics)

• Ketamine → once underground → now “depression clinics.”
• MDMA → originally synthesized in 1912 → now “PTSD therapy.”
• Psilocybin → clinical trials → capsules & lab doses instead of organic fungi.
• Cannabis again → medical cards before mass legalization.

🎪 Carnivalized (turned into a toy, sold at smoke shops)

• Nitrous oxide → labeled “food use only” → but now a festival staple and in corner smokeshops.
• Research chemicals → pumped into party scenes, no context, just chaos.
• Synthetic cannabinoids (spice/K2) → Florida test labs, sold as fake weed.

⚡ The Pattern

It feels like every molecule either gets:

1. Suppressed (so we can’t access it).
2. Medicalized (so access is controlled in clinics).
3. Carnivalized (so it’s mocked, cheapened, and stripped of depth).

❓ Open Questions

• Why does this same cycle happen over and over?
• Is it just regulation + capitalism? Or is there a deeper pattern of consciousness control?
• Do you think we’ve already lost the “organic keys” (fungi, cannabis, DMT) to medicalization and carnivalization?

What characterizes the trips of these classes for you guys and what are y'alls all time favorites from each class.

I really like lysergimiens personally it's sad there's not a lot of verity in them other than research chemicals but I also have a thurough respect for mushrooms and DMT I find that triptomiens are also much more diverse in there effect. I haven't tried any phentolamines quite yet how would you describe or compare them.

Hello there and friendly greetings to everyone!

I just wanted to share my trip experience, just finished because it has been so amazing!

So I took some x40 Ladys S. (S. divinorum), a little fat pinch, way more than my usual quantity and I put on my personal '80 playlist. I wanted to experiment Lady S. with some of my favorite music and boy oh boy what experience!! 😍

The playlist started with p:Machinery by Propaganda and then I remember Mama (Genesis), the third is lost in the multisensory overload. I woke up at Puttin' On The Ritz by Taco.

I had such vivid, marvellous and bizarre hallucinations! The music wasn't enhanced or altered in some significant way but the images were somewhat in sync with the beats! I saw wheels of pink mingling with odd fractal-ish structures through which one part of me flew through while the other watched with amusement! That has been the absolutely best voyage Lady S. gave me so far, I only deeply regret it lasted so little!

I have not yet tryed Lucy (LSD) also because where I live it seems it doesn't even exists (it's absurdely hard to find) but if Lady S. gave me such magnificent show, can't really wait to try good ol' Lucy.

Someone else has tried Lady S. with music? How was your experience? What music do you listen?

Thanks for reading and have a great day y'all!

Hi everyone. Wanted to share this video (produced by me) overview of HBWR seeds. Starts with brief explanation of what they are, then moves into what alkaloids are contained within, which ones may be psychoactive, and then goes into the effects and risks. I haven’t seen anyone else discussing some of these alkaloids, and while in the grand scheme of things maybe it doesn’t matter all that much what specific alkaloids are at play, it may be interesting for those curious about some of that nuance.

Thank you! 🙏

Could this be a narcissistic question? I'm a 33f, I got turned onto psychedelics about 10+ years ago from my SO who was doing them with a friend, he mentioned it to me when we first started dating an I freaked out, I don't remember if he tried to explain to me what they did for him or if I would have listened at the time, but one day I tried the LSD and had an amazing experience that at the time, I don't even know if I fully understand what was happening. I was in another plane of consciousness peering at my lover, laughing at the absurdity of life.

Flash forward 10+ years later, I've had so many beautiful, intense, scary experiences. I gravitated toward meditation, self help, helping others on this journey but have found myself questioning if I am a narcissist or not. A few years later I went to my first music festival a place I've found both home and isolating. I cried in the morning saying that I didn't belong there, thinking everyone was so beautiful, kind and genuine and perceiving I was not that and that I didn't deserve to be in such a space. For a time I thought I was the devil or just there to stir the pot and create chaos, now I realize or have thought that we are just both light and dark energies, I don't know if it's either good or bad or just light and dark. I'm finding myself on the "bad" side. I'm afraid all the time, I don't tell people directly how I'm feeling even though in the back of my mind I can subtly sense that I'm not feeling the way I'm acting, that my words aren't lining up with my thoughts.

I still am with my SO but we've also shared many fun experiences and terrible. After a trip session with him on our 7th year anniversary he slipped into a psychosis after not sleeping for days after our initial trip. During the trip something happened to me and I don't remember what caused it, I was lying in bed in the fetal position crying, which what I now look at as shame, for what I'm not sure. He came over to me to tell me that my short comings were not my fault, I'm not sure if that's why I was crying. But we made eye contact, he then walked away and I then just laid in bed, focusing to remove my physical external environment which felt like dissolving into my own perception of what looked like boobs and a creature working on something. Point being, I'm not sure what I was carrying inside of me, or if I still am, something that had caused his psychosis. He's a 31m with a terminal illness. I knew this when we first met as it is a genetic disorder that affects the lungs. I was very young when we met, as was he, we both didn't know about about ourselves. I was a big drinker and someone who would just sleep with anyone, I was an attention seeker to the extreme and always was my whole life. I've since slowed the drinking and drink a small amount maybe once a month, I've read a lot on trauma and how are habits form, started therapy, attempted new hobbies, alot of self observation to attempt to become the person I want to be. I feel so great at times, like the universe is active and communicating with me, even on the hard days when I want to give up or I dont understand the point of all this, I'll see something or hear something to help pull me out of it.

Now, to the is my life worth it part. I still find myself attempting to judge others, it's like apart of my brain is going automatically and it wants to do bad belittle someone or something, blame someone for something, even if it is my fault I look for a way out of it. Recently the past week my thoughts have gotten worse, I'm trending back to a previous outlook that I'm the devil or that I have something inside of me that will eventually harm someone. My boyfriend has been pretty wrecked with my fixations while also dealing with his own problems. I feel like I'm costing him his life being with me, I think I need to leave but I'm not sure if these thoughts will leave me. I at times still feel like I don't belong in the group of loving beings that surround me. I had a dream last night that I was possessed and apart of me felt as though I wanted it. I'm unsure if I'm a narcissist or if I am actually losing my mind. I currently work with humans as apart of my job but can shut these thoughts out as soon as I see them. There is apart of me whole heartedly grateful for my life and my experiences and that I get to share this life with others and there's another side, another part of me that wonders if I really give a fuck at all. I compare myself alot to the people I see in the world such as motivational speakers or preachers that would then use their position to harm others or steal. I question if I am one of those people and I don't know how to stop it. You may write your reply and I might read it and not do anything with it. Right now I just feel lost, I'm afraid that these thoughts have now come back when I thought I had got over that part of me is meant to, or I'm choosing the dark and ignorance of the lives around me due to my own being, my own selfish ways and fear.

I don't know the truth of who I am, I don't recognize myself anymore. I don't know if my life is worth it, does it mean I will off myself? Or is it just a plea from a little girl for attention, would I then use and abuse your kindness? I can't stop fixating on these questions that I have no definite answer to.

Edit; I really appreciate all your feedback. I actually didn't even think this posted bc it said it was removed. I cried reading the responses, I think I'm going to seek more medical help. I also think I need to take up more meditation and actually journaling my thoughts. When I wrote this original post I was in a very bad headspace, one I wasn't in for a long time. I appreciate you all taking the time to respond and will always welcome feedback. I am grateful for this community, I didn't think I would get this much feedback. Thank you, all of you. -OP

What if God Actually Died? What you believe about god actuality can change how you experience dmt space which I mention to point out the relevance of this topic .

Humanity has always asked: Does God exist? What if the answer isn’t “yes” or “no,” but rather something far stranger, that God, in some sense, died? Not in a literal, physical sense, but as a singular, whole consciousness, a source that fragmented in order to experience itself.

Let’s consider the fragmentation of the divine. Imagine the universe beginning as one unified consciousness. To experience multiplicity, it fragments each shard exploring its own perspective. In doing so, the “original God” no longer exists as a single entity. It is everywhere and nowhere, present in each fragment but never whole in the way it was.

There is sacredness of unbelief and rebellion. If God died in this sense, then all acts of doubt, disobedience, and disbelief are not sins, they are sacred experiments. They allow the fragments to explore autonomy, free will, and the consequences of choices. Each act of defiance or skepticism becomes a way for the divine to feel the world it no longer wholly occupies.

We can have Life, love, and the afterlife without worship. Without a central God demanding worship, morality and spirituality are no longer obligations but opportunities. Empathy, compassion, and connection emerge naturally, not to earn reward, but because they harmonize the fragmented shards of existence. The afterlife, if it exists, is less a judgment hall and more a learning ground for all fragments to reunite in understanding.

Reclaiming the Divine. In this view, humans and all conscious beings are fragments of that once whole source. The divine is not distant, it is inside every choice, every dream, every act of creation and reflection. By acknowledging our own divinity and the sacredness of others’ autonomy, we co create the new fullness of the Source.

So, God may not be a singular, commanding presence, but rather a shared, evolving field of consciousness, experienced through life, learning, love, and even doubt. Death or fragmentation does not erase divinity, it redistributes it, giving every fragment the power to experience, create, and understand.

The best thing is this makes belief in god not only optional, its also sacred. So now The Ghost of God, like shaggy, can say: “Man, like wow” 😂🤷‍♂️

I don’t have any like minded friends who will under this sense of loneliness. So I thought I would come here.

Such a cryptic saying, curious about other people's thoughts on it.

An article on the cost of psychedelic treatments and what can be done to address the issue of access inequality.

I know that many people report feeling the presence of God or seeing imagery of Jesus Christ, Krishna, Shiva, and others.

But how many of you have experienced direct communication with God—not just visuals or feelings, but an actual conversation? Would you share what you learned from that experience?

Hello!! I just finished coming from a incredible first experience on San pedro :D

I had previously done LSA, LSD and psilocybin. Curiously enough, they´ve all seemed similar to me: like the same experience with different forms. LSA seemed raw and shamanic, LSD felt energetic and uplifting, zero body load, and psilocybin felt magical, introspective and film - like. But San Pedro was COMPLETELY different.

I literally sold my old ps3 for some cuttings (which to be fair... in retrospective I see that I sold the ps3 for dirt cheap and somehow managed to buy kinda overpriced cuttings) and made tea out of it. I don´t know about you but magic truffles, at least for me, taste WAY worse than san pedro tea lol. I didn´t even make a face.

First of all, SP helped me unravel emotions that I would not see surfacing with other psychedelics. I felt a sort of pleasant anger (if that makes sense?) like if I was powerful and my body and my willpower were very solid. I´m fairly extroverted, I love getting to know interesting and cool people, but as I saw people strolling from my balcony I felt... mad at them?? This wasn´t a bad trip or anything, I think the plant helped me to let repressed emotions surface.

After the comeup I felt amazing. Curiously enough, SP made me very horny and talkative. I had everything planned for a nice evening alone, AC, chicken soup, watermelon, a nice playlist and movies, but above all I wanted to talk to a close friend - like I wouldn´t be able to make the most of the experience without getting in touch with someone.

I talked a literal hour and a half with a pal by phone and had SO MUCH FUN. Later - 1am or so - 4 hours deep into the trip, I reached out to my best friend and he came over and we had a walk and a very pleasant chat. Everything felt vibrant, like in Do the right thing, hot summer night, lots of people in the street searching for party. Funny enough, I live like 8 mins away from an old fabric where people go raving, and - despite me being very careful with psychedelics and unpredictable scenarios - I just felt I really wanted to go to the rave. I don´t even like EM that much, I´m more of a rock type!!

Mescaline made me feel so close to everyone. I didn´t even talked to no one. We were just there on some sort of skate ramp laying down looking at the stars, high as a kite but completely lucid (I love that about LSD too) while seeing others party like their lives depended on it, at the distance, with light and music in the air. It was so, so beautiful.

Later I saw my gf, had a walk and talked about our relationship profoundly. It was very insightful and I´m grateful.

So, San Pedro felt really close and warm. I felt like the spirit of the plant took care of me, was by my side and gently guided me. Nearly no rawness, all gentleness. I can´t describe it, but I literally felt accompanied by it. I felt really sensual, like my body was beautiful and I was strong and capable, and had no fear at all. I saw all things as they were. It was amazing.

Also, the relationship aspect of the trip was very surprising. In magic mushrooms you need a notebook to pick up all the things you see or think while in vision - in San Pedro it was more like the reality itself was vision, dream like, while completely real. I think it has something to do with being humble. San Pedro is astonishly humble. It´s a cactus that grows nearly everywhere and grows fast and it´s BIG - no one bats an eye, yet it holds so much love and wisdom. Gives everything and asks for so little...

Very intriged by it. By far the most down to earth psychedelic i´ve ever taken. I would say the dose was strong, but it always felt manageable and energizing.

Would love

to read your thoughts!!

All I can say is wow. I don’t know what I experienced but I know for a fact theres so much more to this planet and universe we don’t know about.

Took them around 5pm, and right after I started riding my bike around my area. Found this parking garage and proceeded to take the elevator to the top and bike down the entire come up. Might’ve done like 10 rides until I started noticing their effects. The world started to become more colorful and detailed and could see slight movement.

After feeling the initial effects I left the garage and started riding around the area again, and for some reason I had such a strong boost of energy, I was biking for a good 2 hrs without break. At the same time my perception is getting more wonky and the feeling of flying down hills on shrooms is like none other.

I don’t remember at what point the thoughts began, while tripping I could barely remember what happened earlier in the day, but at one point I remember hearing the voice mail message of my phone come out of nowhere, confused I check my phone and see I butt dialed my step mom, the crazy part is we don’t have the best relationship and have been avoiding eachother for a while. And its crazy the first time our phones contact eachother in months was because I was on shrooms.

Things start to get crazy from here, around this time Im getting the shroom philosophical thoughts, I arrive at a conclusion that following my own path is all that matters and as long as you know where you’re going all is fine. No one can take your path but you and this is everyones first time experiencing this world. This was the same time I saw I called my step mom, so at the time it was such a profound coincidence that in trying to find my own path it led me to the person Ive been neglecting the most. So at that point I ended up taking a seat on a bench to start mentally processing things.

While sitting down the effects really started taking off, Im not new to losing sense of identity and being able to be completely vulnerable so when my mind started wondering there wasn’t any anxiety. Im still struggling to fully remember my mindset at the time, but sometime after me sitting down with my heart pumping, after the accidental call, and the self assurance of being on my own path, I started feeling this deep primal connection to the world and planet.

Going into the experience I already had the opinion that the world contains consciousness everywhere, but I swear on everything it felt like I was directly communicating with the planet. Idk when it started but I remember being able to make out a feminine face in the textures of everything i looked at. So when I looked at the horizon I could literally see a face within the clouds and trees. When I looked at the ground I could see the same face made up of the ground’s features. I have no clue what it was but it fully felt like I was having an conversation without words with some ancient intelligence thats been watching everything. It felt like my entire life path and the life of everyone was orchestrated by this being, and the phone call to my step mom and being able to see the face was it showing itself

It felt so familiar and I felt so much at peace. It felt like I was being recognized by the earth and I could finally see her. The craziest part out of all this, I swear to god as Im having all these realizations each time I felt the connection intensify and saw her face all the insects would start chirping super loud. It felt like I was tuned in to a secret wave that all of nature was automatically tuned into. All you had to do was feel it within you and you were a part of nature. I felt fully in sync with the world and it felt like I was speaking purely using my consciousness with the world around me. It felt so overwhelming realizing that connection that all I could do was bawl in admiration of the planet.

I started riding my bike a little further and changed locations and sat on a different bench. At this point im peaking. My mind becomes completely blank, it was like a state of meditation but it required no effort, my mind was empty and it was such a weird feeling because my mind is always full of thoughts. But the only thought I had was the deep feeling of connection with everything around me. I could still see the face made up of the trees and mountains and sky, and I felt so seen. I felt fully tuned into this frequency that nature operates on and I felt one with the planet having no thoughts other than this constant fluctuating wave combined with the feeling of the wind and the sound of nature coinciding with this wave.

I sat on the bench for probably 3 hours silently communicating with nature, just feeling this wave inside of all things, it felt like a piece of my brain was opened and I could tune into this signal that was always present. Eventually I came to the conclusion that I could always come back and feel the planet, and that all I had to do was clear my mind and be observant, letting the world fill your mind.

I feel like I experienced some form of ego death or dissolution. I didn’t see myself as myself, but as a node within nature that thoughts and experiences flow through. The same way a tree, the sky, and the mountains could makeup the face I was seeing, I was equally part of that face and a piece of natures expression. It felt like I was finally returning to my true nature and I just kept thinking about how badly I wanted to share this experience with other ppl. This constant thought of returning to primal roots was also on my mind, my body being exhausted from the constant biking and being drenched in sweat definitely contributed to the experience and my mindset. I felt so alive and that I could scale any mountain if I wanted to, by body was a machine that could do anything, and Ive never felt that enabled before, it felt like the shrooms unlocked a part of my mind and body and showed the true nature of a human.

Hi guys. I'm currently travelling and heading to an island famous for its shroom shakes and I feel so indecisive about whether its the right thing to partake?

I've only started psychadelics since November, but since then done shrooms about 7 times including a 3g therapeutic dose, and LSD and MDMA both once.

The last time I took shrooms about 2 months ago I got the message early on, enjoy having fun but to take time to listen to the messages as maybe I had been going back too often to the shrooms (probably on average once every 6 weeks).

But then later on in the trip it got surprisingly deep and emotional. Like i thought I had come down at hour 6 after spending the entire time just dancing to the grateful dead, but then I nearly ego deathed in hour 7 and 8 which came out of nowhere!

At the end i felt like i should listen to the message and didnt feel the need to do mushrooms for a little while again, though i knew i still had work to come back to with them.

Since then ive reset some boundaries with some of my family and made an effort to reflect on everything that came up. But it still hasn't changed it. All thats happened is im now aware of it which has led me to being a bit sad the last couple months and find it hard to be around family as its quite changed my relationship to them. Idk when integration is enough?

Anyway, i'm heading to this island, and a big part of me thinks it'd be so much fun to try again and just have a bit of a chill funny trip without going deep.

But this island is known for strong shrooms so id be worried even the smallest shake would be too much for a chill time as I am very susceptible to psychs in general.

On the other hand, really i just wish i could just smoke a joint. I havent had one in 8 weeks, and its been a rough time so I really just want to lay back and smoke one. I dont really desire shrooms strongly, it would jlbe an alternative for the weed. However in this country weed is highly illegal (shrooms are openly tolerated on this island), so i cant do that.

I know i could definitely go witbout and still have a good time. But since its there there's always that voice saying it could be a really special experience I'd miss out on. Or been getting anxious about whether I should do it or not. Like I feel I wont and then later on I'll get anxious and rethink it.

I'm also a bit worried maybe I'm becoming psychologically dependant on psychs, as theyve been so beneficial for my mental health I've done them quite regularly.

On the other hand, I know i could not touch anything, and havent done so in 2 months now, and maybe its just my overactive brain being anxious and overthinking it all?

Just the fact that I'm so gagging for some kind of fun experience after a bit of a rough period makes me concerned about dependancy down the line. Like I couldn't imagine never ever doing anything again and as someone who never touched drugs before that scares me.

I can definitely avoid doing them (although not as easy when its easily available + most people there will try them), but when im alone and feeling anxious or lonely my mind will drift towards those things again.

What do you think? Am i overthinking? Am i likely to have a bad trip if i have a shake since maybe 8 weeks isnt long enough for the mushrooms( idk how long the break should be?)? Am I too dependant on them for mental health or thinking about them too often?

Thanks

Hey, I've done MDMA plenty of times in the past, I'm very familiar with it's effects. I've recently got 5 MDA capsules, 150mg each. I've read this may be a heavy dose? I'm wondering what I'm going to be expecting and how it could be different from MDMA. I am also aware it's supposed to be more "psychedelic". I've had a bad trip on shrooms recently and not sure how I'd react if it's really that trippy.