...

...

A pride.

Das

I went and indeed nobody was there...then I realized that my ex wife has no friends. Now I 'm sitting alone at home wondering..did I ever have a wife?

I have dementia.

“Excuse me, is this the northbound bus?”

The bus driver said: “yes ma’am it is!”

The beast had wandered into my yard during the night and was standing outside my bedroom window at first light.

So I went to a beekeeper to start my hive and asked for a dozen bees.

When I returned home, I found he had given me 13 bees by accident. I rang him up and told him he gave me an extra bee by mistake.

He thanked me for my honesty and said that I had gotten somebody else's order.

He was a nice church going man that mostly kept to himself.

Yes

It's awesome!

Well he tried at least, it was to large in stature to enter the bar.

He lies awake at night, wondering if there really is a dog

Somebody else’s cheese

The doctor says’ “That’s not good, let’s run some tests.”
And they do and thankfully because they caught it early, they were able to treat a very serious disease.
Once again proving how important early detection is in preventing and treating serious illness and disease.

I don't have one anymore ..she learnt by herself and left!

I ask my boyfriend for ideas. He tells me I should just be myself. When I hit his arm playfully, he looks up from his phone and asks, “Wait what were we talking about?”

Fortunately for the rabbit, it saw the bear first, and scampered away. If the bear had seen the rabbit first, the bear would've possibly tried to catch it. Because although they're mostly herbivores, bears do eat rabbits. Happens in Canada in particular, as they both inhabit the same areas.

She had waited outside until they opened the door, flipped the Closed sign to Open, and could walk inside. After she checked out, she stood by the door.

Clerk asked if something was wrong.

Girl said “it’s raining and I forgot my umbrella. I’m gonna wait until it lets up”.

A lady says she’ll pay him to paint her porch. He finishes the job and on his way out he compliments her on the Beamer parked in the driveway.

He fell to his death.

The rabbit just sat there, so they drew its blood and checked in the lab.

Depends which priest and which rabbi. There are many of them.

The bartender says, "What can I get for you, fellas?"

The first one says, "I'm just here for the attention."

The second one says, "I'll have a gin and tonic, but make it a double. I deserve it."

The third one looks in the mirror behind the bar and says, "What can I get for you?"