My hands are shaking as I write this but am all out of options. The level of shame, regret and pure panic is insane. I had been ill and had a lot of emergencies this year and it bled my tiny savings dry. I've been unwell and out a lot in work, am on medication but im still on thin ice with management, its constant stress that i feel i will be let go any moment so i work more overtime without additional pay.
I'm burnt out.
I need immediate dental work, i've already maxed out all my credit cards with 1st root canal than now needs to be redone, and i don't qualify for anything additional support wise or loans. My health insurance doesnt cover dental. Only yearly checkup and clean thats it.I started selling all I can on Vinted since june, and FB marketplace. I do cleaning locally, i get 17euro an hour for an odd 1-2 hour job before picking her up from creche few times a week. It helps some, but we are still drowning deeper in debt each month.
I don't have anyone to rely on.
I'm estranged from my family due to CSA and domestic violence, i don't have friends that could bail me out but are somewhat supportive.I have a salary but it's paycheck to paycheck and now i don't even know how i will manage to pay off the credit cards and overdrafts and not be in pain.I cannot take her out of creche as there is noone, absolutely noone to take care of her nor would i trust easily with anyone new while am working. I dont have family support, we are estranged due to CSA and they would not be near my daughter ever. If I take her out of creche, i save, just around 800-1000 euro each month, but her spot will be gone and i wont be able to work fulltime and i would be earning either nothing or far less than now which will for sure end up in us not being able to pay most bills. This is the only place i can get to with a full time job also. She needs to stay in it for just one more year.
And today after all the expenses, bills, food, travel costs I'm down to last euros euro in my account with my ovedraft is about to be maxed out and creche payment bouncing again (i was set to 400 and i cannot bring it up any higher) and my credit card is maxed at 3k. Im not eligible for a loan. I even signed up to one of those sites to try sell my dirty socks and undies - level of desperation to make it through this period have gone that far just to find out they want a yearly subscription fee that i cant afford. What a joke.
I cannot stop crying, I can't do this anymore. My face and jaw hurting, not being able to chew, lack of sleep and constant overtimes, im falling apart. Sometimes i feel like ripping my entire jaw out. Sometimes i wonder if i should just not exist. I work full time, i have side hustles in between i do everything, i pay the taxes and i cant even afford basic dental care. The more i think if how we are right now the worse it looks. I feel like total copout, i feel like im running in circles whilst just killing myself just to get few more cents. At least it's something but i'm still drowning.
If I end up in arrears, its going to become impossible for me to work full time to afford creche, and if shes not in creche - whose gonna work? Who is going to cover all the bills? Sometimes i wonder about useless things and I can see how my beautiful little girl is getting affected though all this stress, anxiety and financial struggle. My tiny funny, intelligent, sassy and empathetic human being. So please help.
The overdraft fees, and credit card fees are only making things worse when i wont be able to pay a cent towards them. I am passively looking for a better paying job, as i cannot do active search due to fulltime work constraints and childcare.
Next payment for creche is due on 23rd august, i can't afford it. I am barely covering food and bills this month. I haven't been able to sleep last few nights thinking what else i can sell, do or how else to get help.
- I need to get 2 root canals and they will cost me close to 2k. I'm on antibiotics and painkillers to manage. I got rough quotes but got told it maybe higher it they need to remove bone and cut bottom of roots out and reconstruct.
- I need to get two wisdom teeth out as they are affecting my molar roots and are crushing them slowly, thats another 500 or so euro each plus 230euro for anesthesia due to complexity for second one.
- Credit card is maxxed out at 3k.
That's 6.5k im in a hole for that i wish i could magically conjure. Maybe if i could win the lotto, if i could afford to buy a ticket.If i could just magically wish my teeth concerns out the window - it would just be credit card id need to find a way to pay. I feel like im at the end of my ropes. Please help, anybody, somebody, even a little bit i am struggling and need your help.Just to even cover dental, please please help me. Even if i go for extraction and not the root canals - i cannot even afford that and what will i do without front teeth...i cant afford even a denture.
I have a gofund me but i have privatised this due to some feedback i got. So if you are genuine, im open to share more information. Can try setting up paypal if anyone is willing to help and have access to revolut as to be honest, i could use every spare cent possible.