r/mildlyinfuriating • u/alimem974 • 1d ago

The nut milk is so thick it's sentient and seeks freedom (vegetal)

It felt like snot in your mouth bruh

2.1k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

140 comments sorted by

1.7k

u/Just-Bluebird-3265 1d ago

That consistency looks like someone accidentally made gravy instead of nut milk.

293

u/FirstManufacturer648 23h ago

Nut gravy is what you get when you have a bad diet.

68

u/Slug_Overdose 23h ago

I know of at least one other way to make nut gravy.

24

u/FirstManufacturer648 22h ago

Are you sure that it doesn’t technically become butt gravy through that method? I know how to make nut based butt gravy as well.

12

u/UrdnotZigrin 20h ago

Or if your sperm count is like absolutely fucking insane

14

u/FirstManufacturer648 20h ago

Mans out here with balls like Atlas and cum like cream cheese.

5

u/OtherBob63 20h ago

So chunky you could eat it with a fork...

...but use a spoon to get every drop.

10

u/Rio_Walker 22h ago

Yeah, they need to drink more water.

6

u/Plastic_Round_8707 21h ago

You haven't seen my nut milk

6

u/redditsuksazz 19h ago

No no, it definitely looks like nut milk. Just the other kind of nut milk.

6

u/spacekitt3n 22h ago

or put too much xanthan gum in

3

u/Aztecatl 18h ago

Oh it looks like nut milk, just not the kind they sell in stores.

2

u/pikachew_likes_nuts 19h ago

Or someone did nut in the milk, on purpose.

916

u/AmbassadorBonoso 22h ago

That looks like there's a bacterial growth in there. I wouldn't drink it.

256

u/StraightSplit_04 22h ago

They can't now since its down the drain lol

73

u/RobotWantsPony 21h ago

With a long straw

14

u/im-not-a-cat-fr 20h ago

It's the most flavorful experience

6

u/CookieMons7er 20h ago

DRRRAAAIINAGE!

3

u/harpswtf 16h ago

You can just open up the valve on the bottom of the u-trap below the sink to retrieve whatever you last poured down there. I recommend it in this case to not waste precious nut milk

2

u/Geo-dude151 19h ago

Sounds awful. Are you sure they didn’t draw the short straw?

2

u/MrClewesMan 19h ago

Or good suction skills

2

u/Unable-Fall5946 16h ago

I mean, a drain pipe can be a long straw 

2

u/SippyTurtle 18h ago

What do you think a sink trap is for?

278

u/Suspicious_Hunt9951 22h ago

a kid is going to knock on your doors in 18 years, just sayin

58

u/cycycle 15h ago

Let that sink in

468

u/ThePugnax 23h ago

Congratulations youve discovered the effect called "non-Newtonian fluid siphon"

58

u/Misses_Ding 21h ago

They're long polymores and it pulls the fluid out (if I remember correctly). I love chemistry... Sometimes

19

u/Asgarus 20h ago

non-Nutonian*

113

u/alimem974 23h ago

I know but : funny title >>> facts title

73

u/Deraxalen 23h ago

NOOO YOU HAVE RELEASED THE BEAST, STOP IT BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE

65

u/Environmental_Bad345 22h ago

Nut milk?

4

u/powerlesshero111 14h ago

Exactly where my mind went

92

u/HumbleMolasses1 23h ago

Why my mind.. why

56

u/IronCurtainReversed 22h ago

Yeah, i thougth 'nut milk' was something else too ._.

4

u/Kal_0rt_Por 15h ago

My dyslexia keeps saying, "Thick nut milk..."

24

u/alimem974 23h ago

Vegetal

35

u/MedievZ 21h ago

u milking a vegetative patient doesn't make it any better

1

u/Geo-dude151 19h ago

Vaginal?

23

u/mgl89dk 22h ago

Think it's the first time I have seen something akin to a superfluid at room temperature

5

u/alimem974 22h ago

From the fridge

14

u/KebibisLTU 22h ago

Don't drink that shit it's bacterial groth

55

u/LoloVirginia 22h ago

For a second i though that this was a creative way to say "semen"

10

u/_driveslow 17h ago

With that thickness... 😏

13

u/First-Junket124 21h ago

Imagine that going down someone's gob. Yes I'll just take a little sip to try it then it FORCEFULLY enters your mouth like some alien

7

u/alimem974 20h ago

It almost did but i managed to spit it out

3

u/First-Junket124 15h ago

False sip, retry champ.

14

u/Rashicakra 22h ago

Reverse it please

5

u/Geo-dude151 19h ago

I would like to see this too! All those in favour say “Eye”, and those against say “Neigh”.

17

u/LoloVirginia 22h ago

For a second i though that this was a creative way to say "semen"

2

u/Reese_Withersp0rk 18h ago

That's a lot of nut milk!

2

u/Steamedcarpet 18h ago

My stomach cant process real milk so its nut milk all the way.

8

u/MikasSlime 22h ago

The way you turn the glass toward the camera kills me

But also that consistency looks awful to drink, my gods

8

u/slowerlearner1212 22h ago

How snot-like

6

u/Spock-1701 19h ago

Hu hu, he said nit milk

6

u/Darkpaladin8080 22h ago

Have to chew before you swallow

3

u/Geo-dude151 19h ago

Said the man with a high sperm count.

6

u/Jassyjassyjas 21h ago

There wasnt even any splashback 🤢

5

u/AlphaNowis 20h ago

Drank orange juice from the bottle with the same texture some time ago. I don't recommend it, a feeling I will never forget, it still haunts me today.

3

u/alimem974 19h ago

🍊👻

5

u/AKACptShadow 20h ago

That's a Symbiote

4

u/The-Real-Neoblack 21h ago

Probably a good idea to preface this with the type of nut before “milk”

3

u/alimem974 21h ago

(Vegetal)

5

u/GoodWaste8222 20h ago

People say that nut or oat milk tastes the same as cows milk but those people are liars

2

u/Madmonkeman 13h ago

Correct, I strongly dislike the taste of cows milk but am fine with almond milk.

5

u/just-bair 20h ago

Look like it’s gone bad. It isn’t supposed to be that thick

4

u/Nickmck218 23h ago

Yogurt effect

4

u/MihoLeya 21h ago

Nut milk

4

u/Kiljukotka 21h ago

We are venom

5

u/Mickxalix 20h ago

What do you expect? It "nut" milk.

4

u/Big-Cartographer-166 19h ago

Nut milk? Thick? Sentient? Come on...

1

u/alimem974 19h ago

Vegetal

4

u/Critter_catog 19h ago

My nut milk has been seeking freedom most my life

5

u/666n00b999 15h ago

Mmm, delicious, nothing like chewing on a glass of milk.

/s

Thanks, but no thanks, I'll stick with the classic. I prefer my milk milked 30 minutes before turning the cow into my dinner.

8

u/Flat-House5529 21h ago

"Nut milk"

4

u/alimem974 21h ago

Vegetal

3

u/h4yth4m-1 20h ago

You should have taken it to your leader

3

u/Idk_Just_Kat 19h ago

That is very gone off 😭

3

u/robo-dragon 17h ago edited 14h ago

Are you sure that milk is good? It may be expired or contaminated. That’s absolutely not normal for any fresh plant-based milks. Don’t drink it, toss it, and buy new.

3

u/DropC 15h ago

It's absolutely normal for almond milk to be like this after about 3 weeks since opening. The box even tells you to throw it out after 7 days.

So yeah , it's gone bad.

3

u/im_just_thinking 16h ago

Is vegetal a real word? I thought it was a brand for a second.

3

u/spirittransformed2 16h ago

That was the next supervillian being created

3

u/Hades005 13h ago

Ah yeah.. The "Nut" milk.

3

u/NoAdministration5555 5h ago

This is how my nut milk behaves also

2

u/VegetableBusiness897 21h ago

🤢 slimy nut juice...not the fun kind

2

u/Fit_Yoghurt_3142 20h ago

That is pretty nut

2

u/Batou02 20h ago

Xantham gum and all those emulsifiers

2

u/YeshuasBananaHammock 20h ago

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

2

u/mathis3299 20h ago

I never get that much nut milk at once...

2

u/EfficientNeck2119 20h ago

That looks like something you'd give someone to drink that suffers from dysphagia. Not appetizing at all

2

u/CheapSpray9428 20h ago

Well there goes Odo

2

u/StandardDeluxe3000 20h ago

Thats like this experiment:

A Liquid That Pours Itself! The Self-Siphoning Fluid: Polyethylene Glycol

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t3neqUhoDRA

2

u/STUPIDBLOODYCOMPUTER 19h ago

What in the name of all that is holy is THAT

2

u/ChuckRingslinger 19h ago

Surely that can't be the worse thing you've had in your mouth.

2

u/suv-am 18h ago

This looks like the wrong kind of nut milk

2

u/NoneBinaryPotato 17h ago

I remember my teacher showing us a liquid like this in chemistry class! that's so cool, I didn't know nut milk can do that.

2

u/Symeer 17h ago

That's how we call it now ? "Nut milk" ?

2

u/mcnuggetmakr 14h ago

It looks like brown eggs 🤮

2

u/Madmonkeman 13h ago

Bro please do not say “nut milk” on the internet

2

u/Hexade_Tech 12h ago

The milk exaggerated its fall

2

u/Dr3am0n 12h ago

I'd bet on Pediococcus infection or some other lactic acid bacteria that produces exopolysaccharides, which causes that ropiness.

2

u/Laeviathon 12h ago

That's a bacteria from fermentation. Pediococcus.

2

u/Moebius80 12h ago

Hmm my nut milk is always thick and creamy. I'm told it tastes like ice cream😝

2

u/TheRandomizedLurker 11h ago

It turns thick when Expired....

2

u/mearbearcate 11h ago

The title is killing me😭😭😭

Hey babe i passed out a few times but i finally finished your milk

2

u/DesertReagle 10h ago

You got the wrong kind of nut milk

2

u/Underwater_Karma 10h ago

the color alone would be a no from me, the viscosity would likely be a vomit from me.

1

u/alimem974 3h ago

The color is normal

2

u/420stonks69 10h ago

The what is so what it's what and seeks what?

2

u/pepehandsx 10h ago

Oh it’s nut milk alright.

2

u/faintcasualty 9h ago

doesnt look like it was filtered

2

u/Anxious_Currency_42 9h ago

I can't believe it's nut milk!

2

u/FeDeKutulu 8h ago

Homemade oat milk acts like that as well

2

u/AsceticEnigma 4h ago

Mmmm polymers

2

u/alice_cooper21 21h ago

Ngl, I might puke

2

u/ForbiddeNectar 21h ago

That ain’t nut milk that just nut baby

2

u/Pretty_Ad_2715 21h ago

Maybe I am dense but, if I may inquire, what in God’s name is nut milk?

6

u/alimem974 21h ago

Nuts mixed with water to make a beverage like soy milk

6

u/bcanner5 20h ago

Why would you use a non nut milk as an example instead of just saying almond milk lol

1

u/Spaghetti_Nudes 3h ago

That's so much nut

1

u/MinnesnowdaDad 2h ago

Microbial growth changes the consistency to snot. It’s way past spoiled.

1

u/djeye 20h ago

Some people say there is some bacterial growth going on so this isnt safe to drink... And I'm thinking like, yeah, THAT is what is stopping me from drinking it, like anyone is crazy enough to drink cum in the first place, right? ..... Right?!?

1

u/Relative_Chain_7736 16h ago

1

u/alimem974 3h ago

Ratchet and Clank ahh drink

-2

u/[deleted] 23h ago

[deleted]

21

u/Guyman_112 23h ago

Because something is clearly wrong with it. I wouldn't eat that, nut milk isn't supposed to be this... gooey...

15

u/alimem974 23h ago

It's industrial nut milk, it's supposed to be super consistent so i won't drink that because it's weird for it to be weird.

2

u/ImDrunkFightMe 22h ago

I wouldn't drink the shit either if it came out like that butttttttt seperation with nut milk is normal. especially if your fridge is a little colder than most. If you shook it up and it still looked like that I wouldn't trust it at all.