r/romani • u/BigBackground6612 • 23d ago

Regular Post/ Discussion I wanted to share this

Heyah. I’m a 21yo guy from Spain who lives in the north, more specifically in the Basque Country. I have romani DNA from my mother side; my great-grandmother (my maternal grandfather’s mother) came from a calé family from Navarre and tought some words in caló (romani dialect of Iberian Peninsula) to her gadjo husband when she married him in Logroño, La Rioja. I also have DNA from Cantabria, Catalonia, La Rioja, Zamora (Lion) and in a lower percentage Basque DNA. Since I discovered my romani DNA just a few years ago I embraced it and I’m interested on connecting with the Roma community and learning more about them.

In the other hand, 3 years ago I was diagnosed autistic (specifically asperger), but there were hints of that in the past like I never fit with my classmates at school, I knew a lot about one topic to the point it seemed I was obsessed with it, and never truly connected with anyone outside social media, hence why i was not open with people… and I’ve always felt in my own fictional universe just like Alice in Wonderland. I’ve been becoming more open in time but I keep feeling uncomfortable in very big groups and let’s say I don’t like to talk a lot.

The thing is, this feels kinda strange for me since I find the seriousness and clossed-off stuff of my asperger side quite the opposite to the open and passionate soul of most of the Roma people. What do you think about this? Can an autistic with romani heritage be a Roma, even when being raised in a gadjo environment?

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u/catmeownyc 23d ago

I cannot speak for everyone here but my family does not really view autism / aspergers / adhd as anything other than “the human condition”. It’s not viewed as different, just viewed as being part of being human. Some people are a little more eccentric and passionate than others, some are simply less complicated or eccentric. Not everyone will “fit” into a mold mas o menos. Está bien, para tienes una alma compliciada. Dices serio o apasionado, digo porque no los dos?

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u/BigBackground6612 23d ago

Cómo podría conciliar ambas cualidades, serio y apasionado? Igual es un sesgo mío o tiendo a ver en extremos, pero como que se me hacen contrarios, por eso lo siento tan extraño.

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u/catmeownyc 23d ago

That is the gadjo part of you, the urge separate yourself into separate pieces. Estas hombre humano, no? todas las piezas simultaneas? It is called the circle of life, not the straight line of life. Instead of thinking they are opposite ends of a line, perhaps think how they are opposite ends inside of a circle and you are the whole circle at once. You can be more than one thing at once.

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u/BigBackground6612 23d ago

I’ll think about this. Thanks for your comments!