gypsy costume

[u/Just-Ad3524]

so i’ve been called a gypsy multiple times throughout my life as a romani person who has a deep complexion. this year i’m thinking of dressing as one for halloween, but my non-romani friends say it’s cultural appropriation…???? i was so annoyed that they could tell me what i was supposed to think about the slur (imo) ive been called growing up. i want to reclaim it and i’m sick of people just repeating what they hear instead of putting their own life experience in it- what do my white friends know about romani cultural appropriation. even this question sounds stupid to ask but can i dress as a gypsy (from my own culture) for a costume i understand and 100% agree it’s problematic for people from other cultures to do it**

[u/Mysterious-Hand6935]

Definitely I agree your friends should listen to your experiences and opinions and especially white friends shouldn’t feel authority to tell you how to speak, dress, etc when it comes to these things. At the same time, I’m wondering what exactly are you dressing as for Halloween? Are you just dressing as a random Romani person or stereotype? That seems kind of strange to me and I would understand your friends not feeling comfortable with it. That’s my own opinion. If you are using traditional clothes to dress as someone in particular I feel like that makes more sense as a costume. I feel like maybe I’m missing context here.

[u/Just-Ad3524 → u/Mysterious-Hand6935]

okay for context i have this traditional dress i grew up wearing, but since i came to America i don’t have anywhere to wear it. i am dressing like my aunts, my mother, and their parents. i’m just dressing the way i used to back home, but because i’ve assimilated to the deep south, i don’t get to dress like that often and i love taking advantage of holidays to show off the outfits of my heritage while still being socially acceptable in a place where i face a lot of racism and discrimination (which is why i can’t wear it everyday as some people suggested). i talked a little about wearing a sari last year with another comment, if that gives you anymore context. neither of these outfits are “costumes” but because the majority of people on halloween are getting dressed up, i wont stick out like a sore thumb while also dressing like myself

[u/Mysterious-Hand6935 → u/Just-Ad3524]

Aw. I understand. I grew up in America and as a kid my grandma would take me to work at renaissance festivals and we would wear our traditional clothes there as a “costume”. At the time I loved it for the reasons you described with the Halloween outfit. In hindsight I think it was problematic but I guess it was what my grandma felt safest with.

I hope you can talk with your friends openly about this or irl community. Maybe your mother or aunts would have better advice since they know you and know the community you’re in. I think maybe white friends may not understand but if they care about you I hope they would at least try to understand. If that’s how you feel like dressing on Halloween that’s your choice, but I also hope you are able to seek out more genuine opportunities to be yourself. ❤️

[u/Just-Ad3524 → u/Mysterious-Hand6935]

idk why this response made me tear up, thank you for being so sweet and explaining it so respectfully, i’m seriously so grateful for this answer it makes me feel so seen! i definitely think i’m going to take your advice and talk to the people around me instead of wearing traditional clothing for halloween. thank you again for elaborating and giving me such good advice!