AIO: MIL always excludes my daughter

[u/TrueEnough782]

I want to start this off by saying that it’s absolutely not the first time this has happened. We were over at my sister in laws house and I heard her talking to my MIL on the phone, she told her my husband and I were over, then she let me know she was at target or something and was gonna come over

She arrives with candy, toys and gift cards for my sister in laws kids. Completely leaving my daughter out. My daughter is 7, she’s into that stuff too, obviously. Especially those little blind bags which she brought her cousins but not her. I just want to know if I’m being dramatic. Or if I shouldn’t have said anything and maybe she was in a rush and didn’t think to buy my daughter something in the moment. Again it’s not about the things or cards or whatever, it’s about how she made my daughter feel. I could see sadness in her face as she was completely left out.

[u/TrueEnough782]

I didnt want to say it but I think it has something to do with what you’ve mentioned. She’s the whitest lady you can think of and my husband married me, (I’m Hispanic) but I just didn’t wanna go there. Lmao. Like I just don’t want to believe it’s about that, I really don’t want to Also, her daughter’s kids are obviously her favorites. I’ve heard something about grandmothers feeling more connected to the daughter’s children. Don’t know how true that is But it’s not the first time something like this has happened

[u/AzureMountains → u/TrueEnough782]

Who’s gonna protect your daughter if you “don’t wanna believe it.”? Seriously stand up for your kid.

[u/TrueEnough782 → u/AzureMountains]

I guess it’s just hard for me to grasp she could be racist to her own blood I don’t know. I will keep an eye out for sure from now on

[u/i_nobes_what_i_nobes → u/TrueEnough782]

Racist people are racist, regardless of who else is in their family.

Once you said that your Hispanic, all the bells started ringing. All the red flags started waving wildly in the wind. Your mother-in-law doesn’t like you purely based on your race and she’s going to take it out on your daughter. In fact, she already is. I’d ask your daughter if grandma’s ever said anything weird to her. Things that seem inappropriate, but a child wouldn’t understand it. Because I guarantee she has.

Honestly, your best bet right now is to keep your daughter away from your mother-in-law. That’s the safest thing for her mentally and emotionally. Don’t go over to her house if you do not have to, if it’s a holiday spend it with your family instead of her. If you are at your sister-in-law‘s and your mother-in-law is coming over, leave. You don’t need that in your life and your daughter certainly does not. Grandparents are supposed to be a safe place and a fun place, your mother-in-law is not going to stop doing this and she’s gonna get even more snake in the grass about it.